I Was a Welfare Mother

[proud2BlibKansan]

I WAS a welfare mother, “dependent upon government,” as Mitt Romney so bluntly put it in a video that has gone viral. “My job is not to worry about those people,” he said. “I’ll never convince them that they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.” But for me, applying for government benefits was exactly that — a way of taking responsibility for myself and my son during a difficult time in our lives. Those resources kept us going for four years. Anyone waiting for me to apologize shouldn’t hold his breath.

Almost 40 years ago, working two jobs, with an ex-husband who was doing little to help, I came home late one night to my parents’ house, where I was living at the time. My mother was sitting at the card table, furiously filling out forms. It was my application for readmission to college, and she’d done nearly everything. She said she’d write the essay, too, if I wouldn’t. You have to get back on track, she told me. I sat down with her and began writing.

And so, eight years after I’d flunked out, gotten pregnant, eloped, had a child, divorced and then fumbled my first few do-overs of jobs and relationships, I was readmitted to the University of New Hampshire as a full-time undergraduate. I received a Basic Educational Opportunity Grant, a work-study grant and the first in a series of college loans. I found an apartment — subsidized, Section 8 — about two miles from campus. Within days, I met other single-mom students. We’d each arrived there by a different route, some falling out of the middle class, others fighting to get up into it, but we shared the same goal: to make a better future.

By the end of the first semester, I knew that my savings and work-study earnings wouldn’t be enough. My parents could help a little, but at that point they had big life problems of their own. If I dropped to a part-time schedule, I’d lose my work-study job and grants; if I dropped out, I’d be back to zero, with student-loan debt. That’s when a friend suggested food stamps and A.F.D.C. — Aid to Families With Dependent Children.

more . . . http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/23/opinion/sunday/taking-responsibility-on-welfare.html?smid=fb-share&_rmoc.semityn.www

[TreasonousBastard]

1. There was a time when we thought helping...

people to get a leg up was a good thing. We all knew someone would game the system, but the benefits far outweighed the problems from abuse.

It started with Reagan, who was the first major public figure to put out the idea that the abuse had gotten out of hand. He hinted most people in the system were cheats and crooks. Maybe all.

Now that's the central meme and it's damn difficult to get back to those days when helping people was a good thing. Maybe it also has something to do with a general fear that things really aren't going to get better, so we have to hunker down and watch out for our own asses first, but, whatever the causes, it's bringing out the worst in us as a country.

[Daemonaquila]

4. +100 on you last paragraph.

This is one of our 2 core sicknesses in the national psyche, the other being that we have rejected both science and truth in favor of comforting belief. I think these go together - it takes a person fixated on self interest, with an emotional inability to confront unpleasant reality. Politicians and the media - and as much as I hate to say it, this also extends to some on the left - have been intentionally creating and capitalizing on this trend. Hell, this is Faux News' core mission. If people feel safe in questioning nothing, they'll accept anything. If everyone else is not their problem, they can do anything without a thought.

[brewens]

2. I've seen some good and bad examples of "welfare mothers". My favorite

is now library manager at a local community college. Everyone loves her. She's a die-hard liberal. Both of her kids rebelled and are in the military. Even conservatives would have to admit that one worked out well. We've been repaid for any help she recieved and then some.

[bluestate10]

3. Thanks for the post.

The Basic Education Opportunity Grant, or BEOG, is how I got to college. My parents certainly could pay a red cent, they were too improvised themselves. The money that I had to contribute came from me working two summer jobs. The story of the single mom is one I understand, even as I am a single, childless male. I also understand that she has, over time, paid infinitely more back to the government than she received, as I have.