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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy wife: Should we rethink Thanksgiving as a holiday?
(My wife kind of wrote this little thing that has been on her mind. I thought I'd share--for better or worse.)
Should we just give up the idea that Thanksgiving is a real holiday for Americans. Who really has that "Norman Rockwell" holiday? How many people in this country dread this holiday more than any other holiday in the American calender? Let's face it. People drive maybe hours or days or rush to caught fights to meet at someones house where they meet ONLY to eat a meal together and perhaps watch a parade or Football match on TV and what ends up happening more times than not--Arguing, fighting, and night full of indigestion or worse from too much food and too much stress. Not to mention that this day has become nothing more than the kick off day for the "Shopping Season". But this isn't truly about the Family Drama that Thanksgiving seems to bring but rather the actual event that kick off the "Shopping Season"--aka BLACK FRIDAY.
Look at the headlines during this past week and a half. Stores pushing that start of the mad Black Friday rampage and dangerous event of rushing to get the more important events of Christmas holiday and store profits ramped up even faster than the year before. Stores are starting Black Friday Sales on Thanksgiving day and those stores that aren't opening their doors until the more "reasonable hour" of 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. are still having workers going on Thanksgiving to prepare for the "BIGGEST SALE" of the year.
But look at it more closely. Isn't this holiday just emphasizing those of privilege to those who are not? I will state right now. I am one of the lower paid americans. I make a little more than min wage BUT not much more. I work hard for my money and I'm not saying that Teachers and Lawyers and doctors and bank tellers do not work hard for their money BUT I know cashiers and stockers who work at various stores who will not have much of a thanksgiving because they must work and THEY themselves will not be able to take part in shopping for those same sales they much supply and ring up. One of my neighbors mother will be at the store she works at and will not see her family on Thursday.
Not to mention the fact that THE "HOTTEST" TOYS and the MUST HAVE ITEMS are priced much lower than any time during the "shopping season" before Christmas. Why shouldn't we see these type of sales or prices throughout the season leading up to christmas? Why is it that we see those who are lucky enough not to work on Thanksgiving or Black Friday treated like non-humans during this time of the year?
I know I won't change this whole event but perhaps if you are lucky enough to be one of those who can partake of this event of Black Friday try and remember those who had to work to make it a shopping event for you and JUST MAYBE if people start realizing that their fellow Americans who are working and a lot of these people aren't volunteering or getting time and a half like they once did but must look at the "holiday" as just another working day maybe the shoppers can make the retailers see is an event America doesn't need as much as a real living wage and a little more respect when it comes to benefits and kindness on how they are forced to work like sub-humans.
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)At 55, I remember many seasons years ago before it got this way.
Shameful.
My son is excited to be able to cook on Thursday. First Thanksgiving he's had off in 3 years. I'm looking forward to it. He is a good cook. I'm making the rolls.
demosincebirth
(12,540 posts)Johonny
(20,851 posts)Samjm
(320 posts)I certainly understand and respect what your wife is saying, but she is assuming a whole lot about other people.
Thanksgiving is a celebration and a time to give thanks for even the smallest thing. I do not feel obligated to spend the day with anyone I don't want to. We do spend it with family, but there has never yet been an argument. The day there is will likely be the last time we spend it with them. I would be more than happy to spend it just with my husband and kids. At least half the people at the table work retail in some way so we work around their schedules.
And I have never in my entire life set foot in a store on Black Friday. I do not ever buy the "must have" items. Ever. I buy gifts in a price range I can afford and that is that. Most people get gifts in the $10 - $15 range. The whole idea of the "must have" item is ridiculous, why on earth do people fall for it? We don't have a Wii, a Playstation, a Blue Ray player, an iPad etc. We just don't buy into that.
I welcome Thanksgiving as day to spend with friends and family, and a day to give thanks for our blessings. 2012 has been a monumentally crappy year for us with a number of deaths and illnesses etc. But we will still find a way to give thanks.
Just because SOME people have lost sight of the meaning of the holiday does not mean everyone has.
mrmpa
(4,033 posts)Journeyman
(15,036 posts)Thanks for articulating what I feel.
Union Scribe
(7,099 posts)I hope your 2013 is a lot better.
stopbush
(24,396 posts)Th OP is wrong about low prices on toys. Prices on toys drop dramatically the two weeks before Xmas. The question is whether stores will still have the toy in stock at that point.
I've never done a Black Friday event. I do 99% of my Xmas shopping online. The only crowd I deal with is the UPS guy and the postman.
We stay home for Thanksgiving. Just the 4 of us. Haven't traveled to see the family in decades. Thanksgiving dinner itself is just a slightly larger meal than usual. We have more dishes on the table, but we don't overeat - smaller portions of more dishes. And no green bean-mushroom soup swill. The kids hate it!
We spend the day watching movies and a little football...which means we watch the Dallas game until we're sure they're going to lose.
Like any other holiday, Thanksgiving is what you make it. If you let someone else determine what your holiday will be, well, you're a lemming.
Sekhmets Daughter
(7,515 posts)Green Bean-Mushroom soup swill....My kids LOVE it and I make it throughout the year. However, I don't use the recipe on the soup label and I add things like Coleman's Dry Mustard, Worcestershire Sauce, a bit of mild cheddar cheese and double the French Fried Onion Rings.
Other than that, we spend Thanksgiving pretty much the same way...fewer movies, more football and a Dallas loss, for this Giants fan, is an extra blessing.
I so very much agree that all holidays are what you make them.
stopbush
(24,396 posts)I live in SoCal these days, but my teams are still the Giants and Yankees, as I lived in NYC and at the Jersey Shore for the better part of 25 years.
Squinch
(50,954 posts)I can think of nothing that WalMart is selling on Thanksgiving night, or any other night for that matter, that is so important that it would induce me to participate in that nonsense. I make a nice dinner, and have people I like and we enjoy each other's company. And when there is someone who has to work on Thanksgiving, we have dinner earlier or later to suit their schedules.
former9thward
(32,017 posts)If you don't want to do Thanksgiving, Christmas or any other holiday then don't. Don't try and wreak other people's small pleasures. If you don't want to do Black Friday no one is forcing you to go to any store. As far as other people working on these holidays so what? We are not a 1700s subsistence economy anymore. Plenty of people have to work on Thanksgiving. I used to work at a steel mill and it operated 24/7 every day of the year. We worked all the holidays and no one complained. No one forced anyone to work there and the union had negotiated a good Holiday wage. What about police, military, first responders, hospital workers,etc.. who work every holiday. That is part of the job. Take your negative shit elsewhere.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)enough to enjoy the "holiday" or you need to work make others "holiday" special. How about respecting others enough that people don't have to worry about working Black Friday. How about no one be forced to work a $8 an hour job on a day when families are "suppose" to be together because IF THEY DON"T WORK IT THEY COULD BE FIRED because their employer looks at it as a another business day.
As for being together as a family--The saying is you can't pick your relatives. IF you are lucky enough that you don't have to be around relatives that don't push your buttons you must be a very lucky person.
nolabear
(41,984 posts)I love Thanksgiving. I loved it when I had virtually nothing and I love it now.
I love the parades, the colors and the music and the brand new lights on all the trees in this dark part of the world. I love seeing those relatives I can and touching base with the ones I can't.
I love MST3K Turkey Day.
I love the way people come in the door, unpacking things they've brought and talking loudly and getting reacquainted whether it's been a day or a year.
I love putting bright, fallen leaves on the table.
I've got friends this year who are celebrating at a Chinese restaurant. Why? Because one of them had a stroke and can't cook, and rather than make her remember what she can't have, they all want to have a brand new way of celebrating.
These things (unless you can't afford Chinese, but it's the willingness to do something different that counts) are all the essence of feeling connected to the world, and being delighted that you, and it, are here.
I like working to make others' holiday special. I've got a sister who works 911 and had Thanksgiving yedterday. Her family all let me know how happy they were to have her and to be together. The day didn't matter.
It can be good. I have the ability to feel that way. And for that I'm very grateful.
JustAnotherGen
(31,828 posts)Like Wal-Mart. I'm also seeing ads for Macy's and Joseph A Banks - opening up late on Thursday night.
Black Friday - though I don't participate - I can understand. But Thanksgiving Day? Not so much. And really (I work in Corporate for a National Retailer) - the stores really COULD get ready for Black Friday today. They could. We are.
And our distribution/warehouses are down. Only our support, tech support, network operators are open for business and those are running with skeleton crews that ARE getting time and a half. We are communications - our network doesn't shut down ever - so we always need to have a few people to help our customers. Note - not SELL to them - but to help them. Thanksgiving is like Mother's Day - a network 'max' day for folks calling their mom.
Some of them couldn't get home for the holiday because they had to work at Wal-Mart for low pay and no health benes - so let's just make sure they can at least place a call to their family.
frazzled
(18,402 posts)I've been busy baking pies and breads the past two days, and tomorrow and Thursday the cooking starts in earnest. We never travel on Thanksgiving, so the only family we'll have this year are my son and daughter-in-law who thankfully live in town, plus six friends (three couples) we know whose families are also too far awayan interesting and convivial bunch. (We've had non-family, communal Thanksgivings with friends for the past 20 years.)
Food and drink are the focus of our Thanksgiving, and I can't recall there ever being a football game on. The conversation is the entertainment, especially by about the fifth bottle of wine! And there's never any Black Friday shopping the next day: yikes, I hate crowds.
I love Thanksgiving. (Though I am getting tired of doing all the cooking and other prep.)
OffWithTheirHeads
(10,337 posts)Has always been a sort of Norman Rockwell event at my house. When times were good, we did the whole thing. When times were tight, everybody contributed but there was always enough. It didn't hurt that, most Thanksgivings, everybody in attendance was at least progressive. There are no fights, no arguments, however, we have broken more than one chair when the next generation challenged the elders to arm wrestling contests. This may have something to do with alcohol but it has always been done with love and testosterone. No football, even though one of us was a 9ers cheerleader and absolutely NO shopping on Friday.
Thanksgiving in our family is about family, not product distribution. We have been fortunate enough to celebrate it as such for many, many years, one way or another. I understand that others are not so fortunate but, we thank the dieties that we have been thus blessed.
Agreed.
Lex
(34,108 posts)about how everyone else does it.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)need to work on that day IT does become something that should be thought about.
LOOK at WALMART workers.
Samjm
(320 posts)There is no rule that says Thanksgiving dinner must be served at a specific time. We've done early lunches (like 11am) and late afternoon ones. I have friends who go to the local museum on Thanksgiving day because they basically have it to themselves. Then they do their big meal on the Sunday afternoon which suits their family. We have family who work retail too so we just work the meal around their schedule.
loli phabay
(5,580 posts)Im off tomorrow so we will do Thanksgiving then but Christmas for us will be two days late and its not a big deal.
ibegurpard
(16,685 posts)and I love Thanksgiving dinner.
FSogol
(45,488 posts)Aristus
(66,381 posts)Even though my wife's side are the conservative Republicans.
This year, if anyone brings up politics, I'll simply state that my wife voted this year for President Obama!
Let the festivities commence!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)election was stolen from kerry. since the no politics, it has worked very well in my house of all repugs, lol.
Ron Obvious
(6,261 posts)I admit that I've liked Thanksgiving more in theory than in reality in the past, but it ought to be the least commercialised of the big holidays, no? It requires no more than getting together with friends and family for a meal and expressing thanks for what we have, and that can be done on any budget. I've always avoided 'Black Friday' like the plague anyway, but if nothing else, it pushes back Christmas shopping season a few weeks compared to some of the rest of the world where the stores begin to decorate around October it seems.
I think it's a charming and uniquely American holiday, and besides, I got something to be particularly thankful for this year: After three weeks in hospital, I've returned to the land of the living!
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)situation where she almost died twice. Since than she has taken different looks at holidays and life with a whole other point of view.
Michigan Alum
(335 posts)I worry more about people who don't have anyone to celebrate with. It must be sad. I used to have a group of Thanksgiving "orphans" who I would get together with - friends who also lived out of state, etc. I couldn't really go home for it very often when I lived in a different state.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)welcome.
OffWithTheirHeads
(10,337 posts)We have found that you can get Turkey for almost nothing on Turkey day or the day after so we always buy another Turkey, cheap, to cook later. We call it "Thanks a lot" and are usually able to stock our freezer with many meals, soups, etc. for almost nothing. Hams are similar.if you have the space in the freezer, you can't get it cheaper than immediatly after the holiday!
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)Let's start by dumping Columbus Day. It's a celebration of savage invasion of another territory. Columbus wasn't a hero, he was a conquering bad person.
Thanksgiving is a little different, but the generosity extended by the Native Americans was not reciprocated over time. Our past is shameful, at best, in this regard. And yes, now it is just another retail event like Presidents' Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and whatever the hell else they can use as an excuse for full-page ads for "UNBELIEVABLE PRICES - TWO DAYS ONLY". I just avoid stores on those days.
brokechris
(192 posts)but my family does it simple. We have family (who can be annoying but are loved) and a delicious meal--which we have pared down to just our favorites to keep it simple. There aren't a dozen sidedishes and a table full of desserts--we have a couple of our favorite sidedishes and one dessert. Less stress cooking and cleaning.
We don't shop--we hang out most of the long weekend. We play games, watch football, talk and eat fantastic sandwiches made from leftover turkey
I'm good with it. For those that camp in front of the Best Buy for 2 days--yeah their holiday probably sucks. But mine doesn't.
Tommy_Carcetti
(43,182 posts)The holiday itself is one of my favorites of the year. It actually surpasses Christmas and Halloween in terms of personal favorites.
Yes, it's a lot of cooking. Yes, travel is a pain. Yes, you sometimes have to deal with relatives with whom you have a love/hate relationship. But that aside, it's simple. It's straightforward. You have a dinner with those close to you. That's it. No silly costumes, no trips to the mall. And the house smells great.
But Black Friday is horrible, and threatens to consume all that is good about the Thanksgiving holiday itself. I for one don't plan on setting foot in one store on Friday. I'll be taking my daughters for a car ride out to a nature park instead.
FSogol
(45,488 posts)If you have a family that fights during the holidays, avoid them. Make your own holiday with people you love/care about. Make your own traditions and do what you like.
Tommy_Carcetti
(43,182 posts)And if you have problem relationships with anyone, try to make the best of it.
For example, as a blue person overwhelmingly surrounded by red in-laws living in a blue area--try to get a grasp on that one--I just know that there will be some continued bitching about the election from my mother-in-law. I'll just try to avoid the room when it comes to politics, and remain thankful that apart from politics there are some good things about her--that she remains a good grandmother to my kids.
Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)at the Community Table, which is a local organization that provides good meals every day to the poor and homeless.
slackmaster
(60,567 posts)So is participating in commercialized feeding frenzies.
JustAnotherGen
(31,828 posts)But overall - keep in mind - DU is filled with a lot of sentimental and kind saps. Myself included. Sometimes though they can't see that a post is not talking about them - it's about people who DO do the things your wife wrote about and who don't see Thanksgiving as a time of family and community.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)may be what they are living, but they do not have to live that. and many of us do not.
hey... happy t day to you. lol
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)they also love their son and grandsons. and they are good people. this will be a time i will be able to appreciate the good people of them.
i love the mountains.
i love my nieces and nephews. and will enjoy their mother.
and none of us will even think about the commercial aspect of black friday.
it is also the weekend for 18 yrs my husband has started the christmas holidays, getting lights up. and i love the season.
i love the happy feeling i get from people when i am out and about at this time of year. i feel a lot of good people, and they tend to share that feeling. i had a blast with a handful at the store yesterday. bake last night, which i dont do often, family coming in to chat, while i cooked.
it is what we make of it. we experience what we create.
none of our holiday will have to do with what you are posting.
ksoze
(2,068 posts)Interesting thoughts, do not agree however.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)Over the years I've heard people complain about "having" to do this or that for Thanksgiving or Christmas. But really, the choice is theirs.
As one who used to spend those 2 holidays traveling to see family, I decided once I hit the age of 40 that I would start doing what I wanted for those holidays. So I do. Now, I really enjoy those holidays. Does that not please my family? True. But they're not the ones who were expected to do the traveling, and have to travel back and go back to work without any rest over the holidays. So that's too bad that they weren't pleased, and still aren't.
People are in total control of how they spend their holidays. If they choose to travel and argue, they are really saying that they would suffer MORE if they stayed home. So that's their choice.
Oh, and also once I hit 40, I decided I would do other things, as well. For one thing, I would quit trying to like things like swimming that I had never liked. I'm just never going to like it. So I don't swim. I don't like it. I also quit trying to like liver, brussel sprouts, and cooked cabbage. I'm never gonna like those things. And that's okay! Viva la difference!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)then after years of 40, it gets worse, lol. and i think, how can people like me. fuck it. not my problem. i like me.
you are right on honey. that hitting 40 really is the point of freedom.
i like christmas at my house. we would alternate. a couple three, four years ago.... hubby and i said, just like it here on christmas. we will go south for thanksgiving. and it works.
SheilaT
(23,156 posts)People really do have choices. Okay, so you work for a big box retail store and they schedule you to work Thanksgiving Day and the day after. You have no choice about working but you can choose your attitude towards working those days. And you can choose to celebrate Thanksgiving either on another day, or in the time you do have off.
I'm a former airline employee, and I know how you can almost guarantee that the weather will be crappy either in the days leading up to T-day, or right after, when everyone's trying to get home. That's why I would never consider flying anywhere for Thanksgiving. And of course I've almost always worked every holiday.
Too many people seem to just love being a martyr to the holiday. The HAVE to have 27 family members over, and they HAVE to bake six pies and two cakes from scratch, plus bake the cornbread for the cornbread stuffing and on and on. No, you don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to.
MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)We'll spend our time together this weekend decorating the house, wrapping and packing gifts for shipping, having pumpkin pie with our morning coffee and just goofing off. We never shop or travel on holidays.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)by gosh. they are going out the first week.
MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)All the holiday cards were finished by Nov. 1st, so the T-day ones even got there on time for a change. We're shipping a few extras that we don't normally. My husband's father passed away earlier this year, so we're sending a little something to the siblings. I ordered some Texas photo prints from a member of OE's photography group and having them framed. I found some really cool western print wrapping paper online... nothing fancy, just a little something to make the holidays a little brighter.
Hope you had a fab T-Day!
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)FarCenter
(19,429 posts)A light meal of something like lamb chops and vegetables is much better than turkey and all the traditional sides.
Cranberry gelatin - yuk.
Sweet potatoes with added sweeteners -- yuk.
Pumpkin pie (and most other pies) -- yuk.
1-Old-Man
(2,667 posts)For years I took off the entire week of Thanksgiving. We have always opened our doors to both family, friends, and any guests they might wish to bring along with them. The more the merrier as far as we've always been concerned. I just love it, both old friends and family, but also the new friends we make when new guests are able to come. Its also the height of hunting season hereabouts and some of our guests do that as well (we are in a rural area and live on 100 acres). I don't hunt myself but everyone to their own.
So I see Thanksgiving in a much different light than you do. If there is a commercial aspect to it I attribute that to the Christmas holiday and the rush of merchants to gain from it - something with disgusts me.
liberal_at_heart
(12,081 posts)It can be anything you want it to be. Nobody flies in to see us. Every two to three years my father flies out to see my brothers but that's it. We do enjoy cooking food we know we will enjoy. It's not necessarily turkey. This year we had ribs, and it's just those of us who happen to live near one another; me, my husband, my children, my father, and my mother in law. I do shop on Black Friday but only for things I need like winter clothes for my children. I would say do what makes you happy and forget the rest. It may not be the holidays people had in the past but like you said no one really has a Norman Rockwell holiday anyway. All in all I would say I'm one happy camper this Thanksgiving.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)to their financial advantage. Because other than the card companies who else makes oodles of undeserved dollars? Perhaps the turkey industry, but I'm sure they do well all year round. Turkey hot dogs, turkey this and turkey that all year.
People should start thinking seriously about boycotting these manipulations by the Corporatocracy. I know a huge number of Americans think about it but can't find a way of doing it. It starts with just not doing one expensive holiday and then moving on to the rest. That's what I did. I also started with boycotting my own birthday by telling my family they were not to give me any presents or cards.
Drahthaardogs
(6,843 posts)I see nothing wrong with taking a day to sit down and eat dinner with friends and family. Who says you have to have a turkey? Lots of times we had gnocchi or ravioli. One year I made a falso magro. I do not do Black Friday. I drink some wine, maybe a few beers.
I agree that people are forced to work like animals for little pay. Do you support unions? Are you a member? Labor is not too popular here on DU, but it should be. Ronald Reagan broke the unions and stole the American Dream. He sold us 401Ks instead of good pensions, he talked "capitalism and free trade" instead of "fair trade practices". We will never be great and we will never be free until the unions are once again a force to be reckoned with in this country.
pinto
(106,886 posts)Sit down dinners, pot lucks, a couple of eat out events, an occasional turn as a serving host at non-profit community meals, etc.
None of it ever involved shopping (except for some pre-Thanksgiving food runs). I guess it's what you make of it.
onecent
(6,096 posts)libdem4life
(13,877 posts)Codeine
(25,586 posts)I gather together with people for whom I have a genuine and abiding love and a heartfelt and honest respect to share food we have all taken part in preparing while enjoying sparkling conversation and camaraderie. There's a long drive involved, but so what? It's worth it. Why let a few crowded hours on highway 101 ruin a day of happiness?
Have I just gotten incredibly lucky with the group of friends I've chosen? Perhaps, and that alone is something for which to be thankful. But we maintain that friendship through shared adversity and loving support in which everyone has at different times both given of themselves and received of others. We've earned our happiness.
Do I have a bit more than the worst off? Sure, but not much, and certainly not anything for which I haven't worked my ass off for the last few decades in a crappy retail sector job.
And as for the shopping thing? Well I don't like it, so I've never gone out for any of the Black Friday bullshit, and that's all I can do. The larger portion of society seems to like it, so there it is. Don't be a part of it.
Too many of us want to suck all the joy, all the happiness, and all of the celebration out of our cultural traditions. That is a very ugly trait that manifests too often on the Left, and one which it would behoove us to avoid.
SomethingFishy
(4,876 posts)"The Day Of Mourning".
http://www.whoisleonardpeltier.info/statement-from-leonard-for-national-day-of-mourning/