You know how people compare Mitch McConnell with a turtle?

[cab67]

Turtles are noble creatures. They embody a level of self-awareness and integrity that escapes the senator from Kentucky.

As a herpetologist, I'd like to see comparisons between the senator and his superiors come to an end.

Here are some turtles I've known. They're better than McConnell. McConnell is unworthy of the comparison.


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[BOSSHOG]

1. Thanks for the great post

A little turtle related trivia. What were the names of Rocky’s two turtles?

[cab67]

4. Cuff and Link.

More turtle trivia - a spur-thighed tortoise died in London 10 or 15 years ago. Its age was unknown, but it was a ship's mascot during the Crimean War.

Turtles are as close as amniotes come to being immortal. They're not pets - they're family heirlooms.

I have two - a Florida cooter and a red-eared slider. The age of the cooter is unknown, but he's older than the slider, and she's 20.

We had to say good-bye to my African mud turtle last year. Ernie was about 30.

Should add - many turtles born before McConnell will outlive the senator some seem to think he resembles. And they will live their long lives without working to ruin our country.

[stonecutter357]

2. K&R !

[niyad]

3. Mea maxima culpa!

[Earth-shine]

5. Not those turtles. This turtle ...

The resemblance is unmistakable.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cecil_Turtle

[cab67]

8. I understand the similarity.

McConnell might be comparable to a cartoon, but unlike McConnell, turtles have dignity.

[ShazzieB]

12. Turtles are indubitably superior to Mitch.

But I don't think I will ever be able to look at him and not see the resemblance.



Don't get me wrong...I do have a lot of respect for turtles, and really enjoyed the pics you posted! But he does look like one, doggoneit!

[Earth-shine]

20. Gotcha.

You just might be taking this topic too seriously.

[cab67]

26. I'm a herpetologist. I'm allowed.

(Actually, my job title says "paleontologist," but the group I work with has both living and extinct representatives, and I work on both.)

[Earth-shine]

32. Of course you're allowed. But that doesn't make it appropriate, relevant, or useful.

I suppose if you were a dentist, you wouldn't want us to compare McConnel to a toothache.

[cab67]

44. You're right.

But I'm not a dentist, so I'm perfectly willing to make such a comparison.

[Silent Type]

6. Cool. Thanks. Used to have a good sized terrapin that would periodically show up in backyard.

[cab67]

7. Should add -

the Terrapene ornata (ornate box turtle) at the end is Toots. I miss her. She ended up with my ex after a divorce 25 years ago. Last I heard, she's doing well.

Boy howdy did she love raspberries.

[johnp3907]

9. Gamera is really neat!

He is filled with turtle meat!

[cab67]

25. Too much of a Godzilla purist to be a Gamera fan.

But many of my friends are aficionados.

[canetoad]

10. Beautiful post

And pix. Thank you.

K&R

[limbicnuminousity]

11. Great photos!

And agreed. McConnell more closely resembles a cephalopod anyway.

[cab67]

24. cephalopods are amazing.

They're as intelligent as some primates, and their bodies can do things we can only wish we could do.

They're among the few invertebrates that can be described as having personality.

[Ocelot II]

28. There's a great documentary on (I think) Netflix, "My Octopus Teacher."

Really interesting story about a man who befriended an octopus, or maybe it was the other way around.

[Ocelot II]

29. Cthulhu in particular.

[Raine]

13. Totally agree, I have a tortoise and both him 🐢

and I get very upset when that POS is compared to a sweet, gentle, intelligent, loving critter like a turtle/tortoise. I love my Desert Tortoise Bernie T so much!

[StarryNite]

19. I have two desert tortoises and a box turtle.

I love them.

[Rhiannon12866]

14. Thanks so much! I've had the exact same thoughts since I love turtles, too!

We had turtles as kids and were quite fond of them. We had the one I called Stacy who was an Eastern Painted Turtle that my Dad's friend rescued from the road when he was crossing a nearby mountain. And he gave him to my Dad since he had kids. We had him for quite awhile till my Dad said it was time to let him go. So he took us to a local artist's colony, with woods and a stream and far from any roads. I still remember him enjoying dipping his head in the water of the stream and I like to think that he's still there.

He looked like this:

[cab67]

23. handsome animal.

I have a soft spot for eastern paints. They were one of the two species we used to catch when I was a kid in New England and New Jersey. The other was the wood turtle, which in my opinion remains among the top 5 most attractive turtles in the world.

Around here, we get Midland painted turtles. Just as beautiful. But my turtle catching days are pretty much over, so I admire them as they bask on logs.

There used to be "turtle races" in Chester, NJ, when I was in junior high and high school in nearby Flanders. They'd lower the turtles into a large wooden bowl-like structure, and the first turtle to reach the rim won. Most of the turtles in the races were eastern painted turtles - they're really common out there.

[AverageOldGuy]

15. "Of Time and Turtles"

We are 80; I'm fortunate to be in decent condition and quite mobile; my wife has several medical challenges that keep her pretty much home-bound. She reads a lot -- 4-6 books a week; she's just about exhausted our little, rural local library.

A couple of months ago she checked out Of Time and Turtles: Mending the World, Shell by Shattered Shell. by Sy Montgomery -- you probably know the book.. If not, it's about turtles and those who rescue them.

As she read the book, she learned a LOT about turtles. In fact, about every other page she read to me something interesting about turtles, most of which I did not know.

For example:
-- Turtles live a LOOOOOONG time.
-- Terrapins live in water except when they live on land; turtles live on land except when they live in water; tortoises live wherever they damn well please. That may not be what she read, but it's what I remember.
-- If a snapping turtle (tortoise, terrapin) bites you, it will not let go until it hears thunder. Or maybe that's something my old granddaddy told me. I get confused at my age.
-- Turtles do not hibernate. They BRUMATE. Look it up.

I should have paid attention when she read to me.

[StarryNite]

18. That sounds like a great book.

I'm adding it to my must read list.
I have two desert tortoises and an ornate box turtle in brumation right now.

[cab67]

21. another interesting piece of trivia -

There's at least one human fatality attributed to the alligator snapping turtle.

Look up "alligator snapping turtle pineapple" on YouTube if you want to see what the jaws of a gator snapper can do.

Someone accidentally snagged one while fishing. As he tried to get the hook out, the turtle got him in the throat.

[Demobrat]

16. As much as I hate to say so,

I can’t help but notice, that last one bears an uncanny resemblance to … you know.

[cab67]

22. Fair enough, but...

...Toots finds the comparison beneath her.

(I still miss her. She was an awesome box turtle. Probably still is, too.)

[StarryNite]

17. I agree 100%

I have a box turtle and two desert tortoises and every time I hear people compare Mitch to a turtle I just cringe. Turtles do not deserve that. Turtles are amazing creatures that should be respected.

I also cringe when I hear people compare nasty humans to wolves and it goes on a lot.

[cab67]

30. I feel the same way when evil people are compared with snakes.

To watch a snake is to watch grace in action. (The only thing more graceful than a snake is a shark. Watch one swimming around, and you'll see what I mean.)

Too many people look at a snake and see something sneaky and deceitful. They fail to see that snakes, like lions and wolves, kill to eat - not out of ill-intent or greed. They don't understand that when a snake strikes you, it's trying to defend itself, just as any wild animal would. (Way too many snake bites are preceded by the victim saying something like "Hey - watch this!&quot .

I will say this, though - and you may not agree: I've seen lion kills, and I've seen wild dog kills. As a result, I've become a big cat partisan. Lions, and other big cats, kill their prey with a crushing bite to the throat, and then they eat it. Wild dogs, including wolves, kill their prey pretty much by eating it. Dog kills strike me as impolite. But I also know this reflects my own subjective sensibilities, and that both wild and domestic dogs can teach us many positive lessons.

[Ocelot II]

31. Or pigs. I don't like to see nasty humans compared to pigs,

which are very smart, maybe smarter than dogs. And not evil, like some people.

[cab67]

37. though I have to say -

Pigs taste better than most other animals.

I'm convinced that pigs, like flatfish (e.g. flounder), evolved specifically to be eaten by humans. There's no other way to explain it.

In no way to I minimize the qualities of a pig. They're smart, and they have real character. They can also be downright cute. Their flavor isn't their fault.

True story - I attended a crocodile biology meeting in Louisiana several years ago. At the banquet, we were served two whole alligators, wrapped in bacon, each with a roast chicken in its jaws.

I told my girlfriend (now wife) of this.

"You study alligators, but you eat them?!" she exclaimed.

Yes, I responded. I'm a systematist - someone who studies biodiversity and its organization. Systematists are required to eat the organism they study at least once. That's why I don't study spiders. That's why I'm not an anthropologist.

[Ocelot II]

40. So how was the dinner?

I know alligators are eaten but they look like the meat would be tough and fishy.

[cab67]

42. crocodylians taste like what they're fed.

In general, the ancestral flavor for tetrapods is "chicken." Know how they say frog legs taste like chicken? And turtle, iguana, and snake? There's something to that.

That said - farmed alligators in the US are fed a kibble based on nutria from the fur industry, chicken, and fish. Nutria don't have a strong flavor (though I can say from direct experience that their close relative, mara, is delicious). So they taste like fishy chicken. Or chickeny fish.

The Morelet's crocodile I ate in Mexico in 2021 was the same way. So has the Nile crocodile I've eaten in Kenya several times

But the Nile crocodile I ate in Namibia? Straight-up fish. That's all they fed the crocodiles.

Most of what's eaten is from around the base of the tail, and it's served as fried nuggets. I did eat a hamburger made from ground Morelet's crocodile, and it was really good, but that's not the usual presentation.

A number of years ago - and this is true - I ordered some "alligator legs" for a party I was throwing for my lab group. I marinaded them in milk and cumin, then broiled them in wing sauce. They were really good, but it soon occurred to me why these "legs" came in two discrete size classes - half of the "legs" were forelimbs. I bit into one, and realized I'd bitten on a humerus rather than a femur. The animals were all about the same size at the time of slaughter, but the forelimb is consistently shorter than the hindlimb.

[Ocelot II]

27. I've always liked turtles.

Mitch only looks like a turtle. But appearances can be deceiving; turtles are interesting creatures with more personality than you might expect, considering their slow movements and tendency to hide in their shells. But they aren't perfidious assholes like Mitch. In fact, animals in general aren't perfidious assholes - even creepy insects and venomous snakes aren't evil; they are just doing what they need to do to survive. I suppose Mitch thinks being a perfidious asshole is what he needs to do to survive politically, but that doesn't make him any less of a perfidious asshole, notwithstanding his physical resemblance to the noble turtle.

[Elessar Zappa]

33. Chimpanzees are pretty much assholes.

Figures since they share 98% of their DNA with us.

[cab67]

36. I've never been a fan of Old World primates.

Lemurs, lorises, and New World monkeys are ok. I appreciate gorillas - they're gentle. And no orangutan has offended me. But baboons are genuinely unpleasant animals, and I have no use for vervets. And if you want to find an animal that exemplifies greed, selfishness, and rage, you couldn't do much better than a chimp.

[Ocelot II]

41. I've always found monkeys and apes slightly creepy. They look too human

without actually being human. I've read that bonobos are somewhat less nasty than chimps, and that orangutans can be quite nice.

[cab67]

43. I've heard the same.

Some primatologists I know compare bonobos and chimps with the different versions of Captain Kirk in an old episode of Star Trek, in which a transporter malfunction caused two versions of Kirk to beam aboard the Enterprise - one reflecting kindness and empathy, but the other reflecting decisiveness and impulse. The latter turned out to be violent, but the former was indecisive, and so a means of recombining them had to be found.

[Sneederbunk]

34. Turtles have more ethics than Moscow Mitch.

[Donkees]

35. Geochelone-elegans

[cab67]

38. beautiful

[Ocelot II]

39. What beautiful turtles! Or are they tortoises?

Are baby turtles called turtlets? Are baby tortoises tortlets?

[cab67]

45. Interesting question

so far as I know, there isn't a term for a baby turtle or tortoise. Newly-hatched animals are simply called hatchlings.

But there should be such a term.

(On our side of the pond, these are tortoises - in particular, radiated tortoises [Astrochelys radiata]. In the UK, "turtle" and "tortoise" sometimes take opposite meanings from ours.)