'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother' A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America

[il_lilac]

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

http://www.opednews.com/populum/linkframe.php?linkid=160138

I admire this woman's courage in speaking up.

[southern_belle]

1. I am so sorry for what you are going through

and hope you are able to get him mental health services ASAP.

From one mom to another (who raised a step-daughter with mental health issues).

[il_lilac]

2. she sure is trying

The sad thing is (as the article points out) unless there are charges filed there is very little help to be had.

[il_lilac]

3. do read the article at the link

This woman is doing all she can and I do relate to the fear she lives with day in and day out. To be so torn between your love for your child and fear of his violence. Been there on a smaller scale.

[dkf]

4. My God the way we handle this is Inhumane.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”


No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

http://www.opednews.com/populum/linkframe.php?linkid=160138

To any that say this is not about mental illness...screw you. We need to do better.