US National Rifle Association calls for ban on ‘schools’

[T_i_B]

Satire

http://newsthump.com/2012/12/15/us-national-rifle-association-calls-for-ban-on-schools/

After another tragic shooting at a US school, the National Rifle Association has insisted that the only way to prevent further tragedies of this nature is to ban schools. The shooting at the Sandy Hook elementary school has left twenty children dead and forced the NRA to call for immediate changes to existing legislation.

NRA spokesperson Wayne Keene told reporters, “This is a terrible moment for the United States, and our hearts go out to all of those affected, but now is the time to acknowledge that this senseless act would never have happened if it wasn’t for this ‘school’.”

“People will say that the right to an education is an inalienable right and was core to the vision of this country’s forefathers, but we live in different times now, and clearly something needs to be done.”

“Do you know how many school massacres there are in Chad? None. Do you know why? Because the don’t have an organised secondary school system. The evidence is right there in front of us.”

[MNBrewer]

1. When schools are outlawed, only outlaws will have schools.

[valerief]

2. Guns don't kill people. Schools kill people. Movie theaters kill people. Malls kill people. nt

[mainer]

3. Yeah, this is about right

Someone else on DU said that since cars kill kids, cars should get banned too.

[dipsydoodle]

4. I had noticed that earlier today - they posted it on FB.

I wasn't sure whether or not to post it. Seems to have done no harm.

They posted this too :

Second Amendment group suggests guns only be sold to ‘sociable morons’

With yet another murderous rampage being carried out by a highly intelligent loner, a pro-gun group is calling for firearms to only be sold to people who can prove they’re gregarious idiots.

Alan Gottlieb of the Second Amendment Foundation believes guns can be a very positive part of people’s lives, as long as the owners are sociable and stupid.

All 650,000 members of the club currently qualify.

“Guns don’t kill people, clever weirdos do”, insisted Gottlieb. “A few well-balanced jocks with assault weapons could have prevented this tragedy, even at primary school level.”

http://newsthump.com/2012/12/17/second-amendment-group-suggests-guns-only-be-sold-to-sociable-morons/

[durablend]

5. Arm the chilllllllllllllldren!!!!!!!!

It's the ONLY WAY, folks!