Ted Nugent : "these imbeciles in the armed forces"
October 1977 interview
High Times: How did you get out of the draft?
Ted Nugent: Ted was a young boy, appearing to be a hippie but quite opposite in fact, working hard and playing hard, playing rock and roll like a deviant. People would question my sanity, I played so much. So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin’ it to it. I had a career Jack. If I was walkin’ around, hippying down, getting’ loaded and pickin’ my ass like your common curs, I’d say “Hey yeah, go in the army. Beats the poop out of scuffin’ around in the gutters.” But I wasn’t a gutter dog. I was a hard workin’, motherfuckin’ rock and roll musician.
I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.
See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin’ awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I’ve always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded motherfucker. A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn’t know and I’m vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. I was six-foot-three of sin. So the guys took me down to the physical, and my nerves, my emotions were distraught. I was not a good person. I was wounded. But as painful and nauseous as it was – ‘cause I was really into bein’ clean and on the ball – I made gutter swine hippies look like football players. I was deviano.
So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn’t believe the smell. They were ridiculin’ me and pushin’ me around and I was cryin’, but all the time I was laughin’ to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!” Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin’ up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin’ up. So I went home and cleaned up.
They took a putty knife to me. I got the street rats out of my hair, ate some good steaks, beans, potatoes, cottage cheese, milk. A couple of days and I was ready to kick ass. And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F. They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass. But you know the funny thing about it? I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherfuckin’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know?
(posted for the Google incapable media, because if I see Nugent getting more camera time and fawning than the honorable men and women in uniform attending tonight, I will lose it.) 
Sources:
http://dangerousminds.net/comments/draft_dodging_republican_hero_ted_nugent_endorses_mitt_romney
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/nugent.asp
= new reply since forum marked as read
We should all be proud of this "patriot."
a real patriot
maybe he will run for office, we need more poopsters like this running our country
yes 
Okay, to be exact: "Well, at least your outsides properly resemble your insides." A special kind of honesty, really. 
Thanks for getting an address.
Hope I don't have a SWAT Team visit. 
(I sent my message in his name!)
The GOP version of manhood:
The GOP supporting the troops:
The GOP on gun control:
Last, but not least:
?w=720&h=404
Jim Rudd was the older brother of a childhood buddy ..... the day I saw the
marine car and the Episcopal priest across the street was the day that everything
changed in my neighborhood .... Jim made it to 19.
Don't let Ted get your blood pressure up he is not worth it.
Really Ted you're the Milli Vanilli of patriotism. Fuck off douchebag. 
Nugent is a worthless piece of shit because he dodged the draft and now INSISTS that others fight and die for the same useless wars that he so rightly avoided. He's garbage because he's a typical right-wing hypocrite. He plays by one set of rules while insisting that everyone else play by another. He's an asshole because he claims to support "freedom", while arguing to have rights and freedom stripped from millions of people because they don't share his moral views. To him, the only life that has value is HIS. To him, the only rights that have value are the ones HE supports.
This x1000. 'nuff said.
says a lot about the GOP, doesn't it? 
.
You and me both.
K&R
I just want to say....FUCK YOU NUGENT!!!
Is that Nugent wasn't even anti-war. At all. He's a chickenhawk now, and was a chickenhawk then.
Fuck you, Teddy boy. Your average anti-war protester had 1,000x more integrity in that regard, than you ever will. Hell, even more true for anti-war guys who actually saw combat in Vietnam; IMO, those guys had 2,000x more integrity than you, Nuge. Because all you wanted to do was fuck around, and not because you actually opposed the war. And what makes this all worse is you called ALL of our guys in the Forces "imbeciles". That's basically slander, dumbass. And this coming from a guy who claims to love our troops........ 
Riverwalker, thanks for posting this. It needed to be said.
