Let's say you wake up at night & fear that there are burglars in your house.

[Bucky]

You've got to hunt them down and shoot them. But where?
Which of the following is more likely to be the case?

6 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	They're trying to take your jewelry and other valuables in the bedroom
	0 (0%)
	They're trying to take your electronics in the living room
	3 (50%)
	They're trying to take an expensive painting in your den
	0 (0%)
	They're trying to take a crap in your bathroom.
	3 (50%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[TexasPaganDem]

1. So...

You're asking us where our valuables are in order of worth?

[Bucky]

5. Yeah, so you probably shouldn't invite me over after answering this question

[Voice for Peace]

37. hahahaha

I keep the jewels in the kitchen drawer with the sharp knives,
so probably an intruder wouldn't look there.

And the safe is hidden well behind a mirror. Of course it
doesn't lock well, but nobody would think to even look
behind the mirror.

All other valuables go on the porch under the bag of
cat litter. Who would ever look there? But at least if
an intruder finds it, he wouldn't have to come in the
house, unless of course he needed the bathroom.

[cherokeeprogressive]

40. 37% of all wall safes are hidden behind paint-by-numbers portraits or mirrors.

I read it on the internet and your post simply proves what I read.

[el_bryanto]

7. I had the same thought nt

[polly7]

2. I don't own too much of value ...

so I'd assume they were there to cause me physical harm. That said, knowing that someone I loved was in the house with me ... my first concern would be assessing their safety and making sure they were hidden.

Edit ... I guess they wouldn't know I had nothing of value so scrap that part. The rest still applies.

[Bucky]

13. So, you're saying you *wouldn't* just start firing random shots through the bathroom door?

[polly7]

15. Yep. I find his claims to be pretty unbelievable. nt.

[pipoman]

3. You forgot 'They are looking for you because they think it would be fun to victimize you'..

FFS...what a truly lame thread..

edit..some days I really miss the 'unrec' option..

[Paladin]

27. Aw, Don't Be Huffy.

Just because there wasn't a "They showed up to make my Gun Enthusiast fantasies real" selection, doesn't mean you have to cop an attitude.....

[SheilaT]

4. I don't quite understand the question.

What if I don't have a gun?

Plus, what do you mean "You've got to hunt them down and shoot them." Really? Got to hunt them down?

Yes, I know you're referencing the Oscar kills his model girlfriend thing, but that is EXACTLY the mentality that leads to all the gun deaths we hear about.

[Bucky]

10. congratulations on hitting 12,000

[SheilaT]

12. Thanks.

I hadn't even noticed my count until you did.

[ecstatic]

25. Thanks. I had no idea what all the toilet burglar

threads were about.

[TwilightGardener]

6. Maybe they had some bad Jimmy Dean? You don't know when nature is going to call!

[onehandle]

8. No need. Ted Nugent says that he shoots people the moment they cross his property line.

Mailmen, neighbors, burglars, or as Lewis Black said, Girl Scouts selling cookies.

If I were armed, I assume that like the pants pooper, I could pick them off as they arrive.

[Bucky]

21. Well, I'd say that's a fitting punishment for wanting to visit Ted Nugent.

Although I think I'd feel bad for the girl scout's dad or mom who's dutifully walking them around the neighborhood to sell the cookies.

[HereSince1628]

9. A person is entitled to the best defense they can muster...

if the best they can muster is claiming an intruder is locked in the bathroom, they are entitled to that defense.

Why mock a person whose best defense is in the Crapper?

[HappyMe]

11. I can't 'hunt them down and shoot them'.

I don't have a gun.

My only concern is that they leave my husband and I alone.

[EastKYLiberal]

14. I don't own a gun, but if I could rig my electronics to explode in case of theft...

And have a 100% guarantee it wouldn't go off on me...

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[Bucky]

17. Well that's easy enough to guarantee

Just calmly walk away from any explosion and you will be okay.

[madokie]

16. I always think that it's they want to take a crap in my bathroom

never fails

[irisblue]

18. dog bed#3 is in front of the tv

so likely the noise is from falling on a partially chewed toy, or a cat, or a dog. This is a pretty small house, the dog alarm works very well.

[badtoworse]

19. I actually had a burglar crap in my bathroom

It stunk to high heavens.

[rustydog]

20. Call 911 and get the fuck out of the house

[TBF]

22. This is why we have big dogs instead of guns -

we are not going to shoot each other by mistake & the dogs know who belongs in the house. Heaven help the burglar who tries to take the 95-lb Lab's food.

[SQUEE]

23. I am not hunting down anyone, I have the advantage. I know my house very well in the dark

No person making entry has that advantage, the dogs would have alerted me, and I know all the concealment, AND cover inside my home. I will stay in place near my bed, illuminate the threat, and give them 3 seconds to be on the wall. All choices to survive are theirs at this point, but 800 lumens and a green laser dot on the chest are very strong incentives to stop right now. If they flee, or stop, I will not shoot and it is a win for me and them , any further advance or movement in my general direction, they chose poorly.
I have trained this and many other scenarios repeatedly, and actually would sincerely hope the loss of initiative would belay any aggression on their part.
This follows a very established protocol, I have illuminated, identified, and now frozen the actor.
I have fulfilled more than the legal responsibilities of Castle Doctrine, and morally as well, all he/she has to do at this point is recognize the situation, and make a choice to stand down.

[Bucky]

28. I can tell from your tidy preparations you've never fought ninjas.

What's more, sadly, you're still unprepared to deal with these psycho, shadowy killers from space.



not even pirates can withstand their pure lethal awesomeness



a true ninja would slice thru you and your laser and you nunchuks in those generous 3 seconds you've left them to strike. You would be like that guy on the right, only more fucked up



Ninjas aren't simply "at home" in the dark. Ninjas are the dark.



If you're unwilling to shoot them through the bathroom door, sight unseen, you're probably already dead.

[SQUEE]

32. Oh please, I am no piker

I am always prepared, I have a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range, as well as T-Cell infested Dobermans, and should the situation become especially dire? I have contingency plans to fall back to the orbital platform and Nuke it from space, it's the only way to be sure...
Ninjas..pfffft

[LiberalEsto]

24. I can't think of anything worth stealing in our house nt

[pipi_k]

26. bwahahahah!!!!

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh, for real!

I don't have expensive jewels or silver or paintings.

So I guess the only logical thing to do is assume they're pinching a loaf in my bathroom, and rummaging through the closet looking for the hand sanitizer.

[Bucky]

29. :o)

Thanks. I'm a little surprised most people tried to engage me in serious discussion about the issue. On the other hand, I was able to prove once again that ninja citations can win just about any argument, even the argument that's not going on.

[PD Turk]

30. if somebody breaks into my house

they'll be busy with a couple of large, protective dogs, they won't be hard to find

[sarisataka]

31. I would go to the sound of

The person shouting Git this #%*-+)#@ cat offa me. Hopefully the video will make me a winner on AFV.

[Crepuscular]

33. Drugs?

Not a commentary on the Bullshit defense that is being put forth in the Pistorius case but I believe that it's pretty common for prescription drugs to be a target for B&E thieves, easy to carry and sell on the black market for someone looking for some quick cash. I'd guess that the most common place that prescription drugs are kept would be in the master bathroom.

[Johonny]

34. I don't want another man to sit upon my throne

[Gorp]

35. "HEY! Put that new roll of TP on OVERHAND!"

[SQUEE]

38. My father loves you right now..

He was insistent this was a necessity, I am much more of a lucky if it gets on the roller kind of guy...

[hunter]

36. All the electronics in my house are recycled.

What's an old DVD player, VCR, or Pentium III laptop held together with hot glue and duct tape worth???

We have tons of family art but it's hard to sell. We know that because some of us have tried and learned that being a starving artist isn't all that romantic. My wife is a very talented artist, but that's not her day job. My dad's a talented artist too, but it wasn't his day job either.

If the 1984 scratch-and-dent cars parked in our driveway don't discourage burglars, the dogs will.

Our house is not quite so bad as the house I grew up in. If there were ever any burglars in that house, who could tell? Maybe they drank the milk you were planning to have on your corn flakes? Or they took the last clean towel? It was always just sort of assumed that the guy in the bathroom was there at someone's invitation. If they'd passed inspection by all five dogs they were probably okay.

Thankfully, I've never had any reason to shoot anyone even though I've been in some pretty rough situations, including some where the bad guys had guns and I didn't.

[TexasPaganDem]

39. I don't need a gun

I have a child that collects Legos. There was a petition to replace land mines with Legos scattered about in military zones, and the vote is that it is too cruel.

[riderinthestorm]

41. LOL! Or Barbie shoes - those plastic stilettos are beyond wicked. Welcome to DU!