Life before the Violence Against Women Act...

[cynatnite]

I screamed and cried while he beat me. My nose bled and my body hurt. As he continued hitting me, I covered my stomach with my arms because I was pregnant.

I ran out of the house one night hoping to get away. He chased me and dragged me back. I screamed for help and no one came.

The doctor saw the bruises on my body during prenatal exams and said nothing. Nurses saw them at the hospital and said nothing.

I became so afraid to leave that I could barely hear the words of the only one person who ever talked to me about the abuse I had endured for nearly 2 years. At that point, I felt like I was a prisoner.

The time to leave finally came when I saw him hit our 4 month old daughter.

*****

Now, I wonder what path my life might have taken had someone called the police. They would have arrested him on the spot once they saw the bruises or bloody nose. The doctor and nurses would have been obligated by the law to counsel me about the abuse.

So much could have been different had there been a Violence Against Women Act all those years ago.

This is why it is important now and why I am so thankful to see it now.

FYI: I'm happily married to a wonderful man for over 23 years now. He is my best friend and treats me with respect and love.

[JaneyVee]

1. A 'K', an 'R', and a Tweet.

Thank You for sharing.

[HappyMe]

2. Oh my!

I am glad you are safe and loved now.

[smirkymonkey]

3. K&R

[Sheldon Cooper]

4. I am so glad that you escaped, and found

respect and love and security. And I'm also glad about VAWA's passing - hopefully, the number of women enduring this kind of abuse will decrease.

[Helen Reddy]

5. Courageous

are you for sharing this awful period of your life with us.

May the best be ahead of you.

[Helen Reddy]

6. How is your daughter?

Does she have any memory of the trauma?

[cynatnite]

7. No. She's an adult now and she knows some of what happened...

She has very little contact with her biological father. She considers my husband her real dad since he legally adopted her.

[Helen Reddy]

8. Oh good.

Thank you.

[alp227]

9. Sadly, we've got a political party that would like to go back to life before then.

138 House Republicans were willing to vote no on the VAWA reauthorization. At least Marsha Blackburn openly blurted it out: "I didn’t like the way it was expanded to include other different groups." And then there are influential big-money right wing think tanks (I'm talking Heritage, not the fringe lesser known John Birch/Eagle Forum kooks) playing the "false allegations" card. I applaud your courage and am glad you have a better family life now. But based on the links i provided, we still live in a sick nation cynatnite, and we've got to work together to shut down America's woman-hating culture.

[gollygee]

10. .

K&R

[SheilaT]

11. And even with VAWA, men still beat women

and too many women still feel helpless to leave. We absolutely need it, but we also need some base level cultural changes, where men make it very clear to other men that such behavior is NOT what real men do.

I am very glad you got out and your daughter is doing well.

[eggplant]

13. this.

How fucking hard is it to remember that hitting is bad? Five-year-olds know this.

Abusers are horrible creatures, but those who know and say nothing are just as bad. Their silence emboldens the abuser. They might as well just join on in at that point.

[intheflow]

12. The police would not have arrested him just because they saw your bloody nose.

Don't be ridiculous. They would have asked you - in his presence - if you wanted to press charges. Being abused, and staying in that relationship out of fear, you would never have said yes. At least, that was my experience when the police came to my house on domestic calls, which happened pretty frequently.

Or maybe you would have, but if you had the courage to do that, you would have already left on your own. Like you, I only left when my husband began abusing our son. I didn't have the self-worth to stand up for my own life. And neither did you.

Glad you've found a better life for yourself. I have, also.

[cynatnite]

14. Looking back on it, I don't know if I would have or not...

I was quite frightened of him and a part of me still is. I know I never want to be in the same room with him again.

I'm glad we both got out alive.