Lawmaker Proposes Bill: Life Begins Not At Conception But At Ejaculation

[redqueen]

http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/lawmaker-proposes-bill-life-begins-not-at-conception-but-at-ejaculation/politics/2012/02/08/34402

Democratic Oklahoma state Senator Constance Johnson has proposed a bill that would make it illegal for a man to ejaculate anywhere except into a woman’s sexual organs, giving an even more extreme twist to the current so-called “personhood” laws cropping up across conservative states.

The good news: she’s kidding and merely trying to prove the point that radical right wing religious extremists who think The Handmaid’s Tale is an instruction manual are crazy and out of control. We applaud her and offer her drinks on us with our other favorite lawmaker, Democrat Janet Howell of Fairfax County, Virginia, who proposed a bill requiring all men to get rectal exams and cardiac stress tests prior to receiving prescription erectile dysfunction medications.

Johnson’s amendment reads:

“…any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

...

[JustAnotherGen]

1. I find this more than

Mildly amusing - and it makes an excellent point!

[noel711]

2. Sadly.. some wingnuts may agree...

there's that biblical passage about Onanism, and not
'spilling one's seed upon the ground' that wingers worship.

The sanctity of semen... incredible.

[BeyondGeography]

3. I always thought it began when the other person got that certain look in their eyes

[MADem]

7. The "Gleam in Daddy's Eye" legislation!

[Ikonoklast]

9. What if that gleam is really the "Oh, no you didn't!" look?

Like telling your SO, that yes, those jeans *do* make her butt look big?

[gratuitous]

16. What are you, some kind of extremist?

Everyone agrees that life begins at the moment the man unhooks the woman's bra. "That certain look" might not get returned, so you have to go just a little farther down the line.

Good on Sen. Johnson for turning the tables, if only a tiny bit. Some men in the Kansas Republican delegation might actually get it.

[hifiguy]

4. I'd be willing to bet DU ten bucks

that within the next two years some cretinous repuke state legislator somewhere introduces this bill and is absolutely serious about it. Their depraved idiocy knows no bounds.

[djean111]

8. No, because this would be inconvenient for men.

The cretinous repukes only propose and pass laws that give them power over women's bodies and lives.

[Spazito]

21. Exactly! n/t

[wryter2000]

5. I had to check to make sure it wasn't serious

How sad.

Good for you, Senator Johnson.

[Madmiddle]

6. There are too

many crank yankers in congress and the senate for anything like this to get between the legs of government. They are all a bunch of jerk offs, so that would make them all murderers.

[MrCoffee]

12. "get between the legs of government" is an absolutely stunning turn of phrase

A tip o' the hat to you!

[kysrsoze]

10. You know, that's exactly what it feels like for me :D

[kysrsoze]

11. Time to go short on Kleenex stock!

[no_hypocrisy]

13. I know it's joking but consider the Theatre of the Absurd this could create.

If you masturbate, 200 million, dead!

If you give a blowjob and swallow, you consume humans.

Even if you have procreative sex, it only takes one to make a zygote. That means you kill 199,999,999 people to make one baby.

[BlueIris]

17. Yeah, my first response was, "Don't give them any ideas, Jesus!"

I understand this senator's "point," but my God, it's shocking to me that anyone would put this out there now.

[Blue Owl]

14. Every drop of Santorum is sacred

n/t

[EOTE]

15. Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great!

If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate!

[TlalocW]

18. I bet for the cost of an airline ticket and a stay in a nice hotel

Eric Idle would be willing to come sing, "Every Sperm Is Sacred," at a rally at the OKC capitol.

He just seems like a nice enough guy to do it.

TlalocW

[mysuzuki2]

19. you will have to build a prison wall around the whole country

to hold all the teenage boys.

[bigtree]

20. precious bodily fluids

Gen. Ripper in Dr. Strangelove . . .

"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids . . . God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all."

Mandrake:

Jack... Jack, listen, tell me, ah... when did you first become, well, develop this theory.

Ripper:

Well, I ah, I I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.

Mandrake:

sighs fearfully

Ripper:

Yes a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence.

Mandrake:

Yes...

RiRipper:

I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women... women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

[Hugabear]

22. A campus street preacher once told me "Never shake the hand of a masturbator"

I can see some extreme fundy nut thinking this is a good idea, and introducing this for real.

It would just give them one more morality crime that they can break in private.