Ted Cruz Erupts in Hooters After Expense-Account Master Card Refused

[kpete]

Ted Cruz Erupts in Hooters After Expense-Account Master Card Refused



WEST PALM BEACH — Following a live radio interview today, Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz and host Rush Limbaugh immediately left the studio and went for lunch at a nearby Hooters but the restaurant refused the Senator’s government expense-account credit card and asked that the $53 tab be paid in cash.

That set Senator Cruz off according to media reports.

“He got the hiccups he was so mad,” Hooters’ assistant manager Kyle Lane told the Washington Post’s Ezra Klein.

After shouting at Hooters’ waitresses and management for an extended period, Cruz admitted he had no cash and was forced to borrow the money from a FOX News reporter.

“At first, the balding guy with the comb-over kinda bellowed that their lunch should be free because, like, didn’t we know who they were?” said Lane. ”Free? Two beef dips extra gravy, basket of onion rings, fried jalapeno poppers, two cheesecakes, two jugs of beer and a diet Coke? No siree.”

“Then the guy with hair tried to pay with a Master Card that said U.S. Government on it…right after he’d been waving his arms around and bragging real loud about how he was single-handedly shutting down the whole U.S. I told ‘em they needed good old American cash.”

Senator Cruz recently completed a 21-hour speech in Congress ostensibly about raising the federal debt ceiling but entirely focused on defunding the Affordable Care Act, better known as Obamacare. Failure to raise that spending figure will result in a shutdown of U.S. Government services, put more than 1 million federal workers on furlough immediately, halt pay for armed forces personnel, close National Parks, and reduce the hours at Congress’ Gym & Health Spa.

“This is ridiculous,” shouted Cruz, standing and jabbing his finger at Kimmie, the young single mother who had been his waitress. “The important business of government must go on even after I’ve shut down all the unimportant business of government. Show me some respect here. I deserve some damn respect here. Did Obama put you up to this? He did didn’t he?”

Senator Cruz and Mr. Limbaugh left the West Palm Beach Hooters after paying the $53 tab with the borrowed money.

He did not leave a tip according to Mr. Lane.



Dan L’Homme
Reportering for The Lapine
SNARK SNARK SNARK:
http://thelapine.ca/ted-cruz-erupts-in-hooters-after-expense-account-master-card-refused/

[eShirl]

1. is that the Canadian "the Onion" ?

[whttevrr]

4. Rabbit?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lapine_language

Lapine is a fictional language created by author Richard Adams for his 1972 novel Watership Down, where it is spoken by fictional rabbit characters. The fragments of language presented by Adams consist of a few dozen distinct words, and are chiefly used for the naming of rabbits, their mythological characters, and objects in their world. The name "Lapine" comes from the French word for rabbit, lapin, and can also be used to describe rabbit society. It seems to be influenced by the Welsh, Irish, Scottish Gaelic, and Arabic languages.

[tridim]

2. Limbaugh only had a $53 tab? LOL. Definitely satire.

[chimpymustgo]

3. This is satire, right? They are a cruel JOKE.

[DetlefK]

5. Headline: "Uncircumcised Grandson Still Worthy of Love" Satire?

[fadedrose]

6. I'd like to see Kimmie on TV

and Asst. Mgr. Lane of Hooters....

Thanks Pete

[monmouth3]

7. Dear Gawd, don't scare me like that...I live in West Palm, the last thing we need is pollution..n/t

[lonestarnot]

8. Not only his card should be rejected. Yeah and the tip, typical pugliCON. I wouldn't serve the

bitch unless of course I could redress him into a salad of sorts.