I buried my youngest son yesterday

[Oilwellian]

Last edited Thu Nov 28, 2013, 02:26 PM - Edit history (1)

He died in his sleep early Monday morning of what we suspect was a massive heart attack. He was only 29 and in, what we thought, good health. Autopsy report is not in yet, but everything points in that direction.

There are no words to express the depths of our sorrow. In a split second, our lives have changed forever.

Fortunately, there are no regrets for any unspoken words that we meant to share with each other, but never did. His last words to me were, "I love you, Mom," as he always said at the end of our conversations, and those words I will hold in my heart forever. He lived his life with such great integrity, and understood intensely the meaning of love for his family and friends. He was truly an old soul that taught me more about life than I was ever capable of teaching him. It's an honor to be known forever as his mother, and today we will be giving thanks for the profound joy he brought to our lives.

Rest in peace, my dear, sweet son. I love you too.

There are a few of you who may remember him. He joined some of us at the second major antiwar protest in D.C. during the Bush nightmare.

On edit: Adding a photo he recently posted on his Facebook page...

Thank you everyone for your very inspirational words. They mean so much. :hugs:

[lightcameron]

1. Wonderful tribute post. Sorry for your loss.

[Cooley Hurd]

2. I am very sorry and my sincere condolences, Oilwellian.

May he cross gently.

[roody]

3. May you be comforted.

[PCIntern]

4. I am so sorry...

There are no words at this time...may his memory always be a blessing.

[Lisa0825]

5. So sorry for your loss... ((((((hugs))))) nt

[giftedgirl77]

6. I am so so sorry for your loss...

We lost my youngest sister at the age of 28 in 2009. Take care of yourself.

[Ichingcarpenter]

7. I'm so sorry for your great loss

may you all find peace and remembrance.

[warrior1]

8. I'm so sorry for your loss

[mahina]

9. Words fail.

God bless, aloha ke akua. Holding you in light. Thank you for letting us know.



Hugs.

[Scuba]

10. Hugs.

[femmocrat]

11. Oh my.... I am so very sorry, Oilwelian.

So young... such a tragedy. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

[brer cat]

12. I am so sorry for your loss.

I don't think any parent is ever prepared to lose a child. My heart grieves with you.

[TwilightGardener]

13. Good Lord, I am sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and your family.

[ctsnowman]

14. So sorry

Peace to you.

[panader0]

15. Oh my. I cannot imagine your sorrow. I am so sorry.

[Marrah_G]

16. I can't imagine what you are going through

~warm hugs~

[bettyellen]

17. so sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[CherokeeDem]

18. So very sorry, Oilwellian...

My condolences to you, your family and friends on such a tragic loss.

May you find peace in your memories.

[Mnemosyne]

19. I am so sorry for your loss, Oilwellian. What a horrible shock.

[Octafish]

20. Please accept my sincere condolences and deepest sympathies, Oilwellian.

The infinite wonder that is a human being is no better understood by humanity than by a mother or a father.

Love and peace and strength to You and Yours.

[ancianita]

21. May his love never leave you. May it give you peace. I weep just imagining...

[Triana]

22. OMG. I am so sorry.

No mother should ever have to bury her child.



Sincerest condolences to you and your family.

[rusty fender]

23. I am so sorry

My Uncle just died so I have been thinking about death. My uncle was 84 so he had lived a long life, but so cruel when the young die.

Your son has now become an immortal memory in your heart.

[aikoaiko]

24. My warmest condolences to you and yours.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[myrna minx]

25. My heart is with you and yours.

[knitter4democracy]

26. I am so very sorry for your loss.

May his memory be eternal.

[etherealtruth]

27. I am so sorry

[11 Bravo]

28. I have no words.

I hope you can find peace as you hold onto the wonderful memories of your sweet boy.
And now, with tears in my eyes, I'm going to hug my home-from-college-for-Thanksgiving 20 year old son, and then I'm going to wake up his 17 year old brother who will be off to college next year, and give him a hug as well.
You are in my thoughts.

[Oilwellian]

149. Thank you 11 Bravo

I debated posting this sad news on Thanksgiving Day, and decided to do it especially today, when most of us are near family and friends. I hope all DU'ers will take the opportunity to treasure these special moments with their loved ones and do as you have so beautifully expressed in your post. The fond memories are what will sustain you, and I get it, 11Bravo. Thank you.

And thank you to everyone for your kind words. They're something I can hold on to in these most difficult times. Our local community response has also been so overwhelming, and we have a tremendous resource to draw from. My son was loved by many and their support will help us through this tremendous loss. I knew my DU community could do the same, and you have. Much love for your responses.

[840high]

29. My condolences.

[monmouth3]

30. So very sorry for your loss Oilwellian. Condolences to you and yours..n/t

[niyad]

31. so very sorry for your loss, oilwellian. may you and your loved ones find peace and comfort.

your du family is here for you.

[malthaussen]

32. Please accept my condolences.

A parent should never have to bury her child.

-- Mal

[arthritisR_US]

33. A truly beautiful tribute and I'm so sorry for

your loss. I know too well the pain you are in. Take care and peace my friend

[OneGrassRoot]

34. Standing witness to your pain and joy in the love of your dear son.

No word, Oilwellian. No words.

[JRLeft]

35. That sucks!

I wish you well. Hopefully you and your family will work your way through this difficult time.

[YarnAddict]

36. So sorry for your loss

I can't imagine the pain you are experiencing. It sounds like he was a wonderful person. May you take comfort in that.

[LWolf]

37. .

There are no words to express what I feel for you and your son, but I can offer this:

[JNelson6563]

38. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

I am just glad you have such beautiful last words to cherish.

Julie--so very sorry for your loss...

[LiberalEsto]

39. Oh, Oilwellian, I am SO sorry for this huge loss to you

I don't even know what to say. I have daughters around his age, and don't know what I would do if something happened.

We're here for you.

[lonestarnot]

40. I am so sorry. My heart aches for you.

[shraby]

41. I'm sorry.

[QC]

42. I can't say how sorry I am.

[Demeter]

43. There are no words

I will hold your family in my heart.

[ohtransplant]

44. No parent should ever have to bury their child...

God bless you and your family.

[Scarsdale]

195. Never thought it would happen to me, either.

My younger son died 3 years ago at the age of 45. He would have been a big supporter of ACA. He was laid off from his job, no insurance. Nothing can prepare a parent for such a loss. Parents always think they will go first. Worst pain ever. Deepest sympathy to the family.

[SammyWinstonJack]

218. ...

[ohtransplant]

338. Sorry for your loss also.

I can't imagine the pain. Those I know who have been through it find a way to live their lives but you're right, nothing can prepare a parent for such a loss. Peace.

[TBF]

45. I'm so sorry for your loss -

[99Forever]

46. So sorry for your loss.

The love and warmth you express for his memory in this posting speaks volumes about the sort of person he was.

[dmr]

47. My deepest sympathies, Oilwellian.

Your heartbreak must be beyond comprehension.

May you and your family find the extraordinary strength to get through this painful time.

Love and peace to you.

[polly7]

48. Oh nooo ... I am so sorry Oilwellian.

Wishing you strength, and some comfort in remembering all of those wonderful times. My deepest sympathy to you and yours.

[Spacemom]

49. I am so, so sorry

There are no words. Peace and Love to you and your family.

[Autumn]

50. Oh Oilwellian. Words cannot express my sorrow

for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[mcar]

51. So very sorry

He sounds like he was a wonderful man.

[CrispyQ]

52. My deepest sympathies.

I cannot imagine.

[Electric Monk]

53. Wow, how awful. Hang in there.

[Ruby the Liberal]

54. I am so sorry

Your family is in my heart and prayers, Oilwellian. May he have a safe crossing.

[Luminous Animal]

55. Take care dear Oilwellion

[JimboBillyBubbaBob]

56. Peace to you and yours.

My wife and I lost our 18 year old daughter to brain cancer on January 10, 2008. Your comment about "old soul" resonates with us, as it described our daughter. Peace to you.

[Demonaut]

57. my prayers are with you and your family

[graywarrior]

58. I am so very sorry for your loss, Oilwellian

My sister's 27 year old son died last February and I've learned there are no words that can comfort a mother whose child has died so young. I will hold you in my thoughts, especially when I talk with my sister. Hugs to you and your family.

[frogmarch]

59. My heart goes out to you and

your family, Oilwellian.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[PeaceNikki]

60. I am so very sorry. Peace, love and comfort to you and all who love him.

[renate]

61. nothing could be worse... I cannot express how sorry I am

I'm glad his last words to you bring you such comfort. He will always be with you because his memory is interwoven with every moment of your life.

Much and

[packman]

62. Words are so inadequate

for time that stays frozen in your thoughts. A soul lives as long as one remembers them. Grief will pass and drag itself away so that only the love of his life will remain with you in time. How sad it is that the child passes. Peace to you.

[Skidmore]

63. What a terrible loss.

Please accept condolences although there are no words that can take the sorrow away. Thankful that you are able to be together and to take comfort in your memories of him.

[Botany]

64. no words

[AllyCat]

65. What loving words to share with us about your dear son.

I'm so sorry you have lost him and heartened to hear you are carrying such fond memories with you.

[SHRED]

66. What beautiful sentiments

Sorry for your loss. Parents should never have to bury their children.

hugs

[sellitman]

67. Hugs

No words.....

[sinkingfeeling]

68. So sorry for your loss. What a tragedy.

[Nite Owl]

69. I'm so sorry Oilwellian

there can be nothing worse than the lose of a child. It just isn't supposed to be that way.

[DeSwiss]

70. I'm so sorry for your loss Oilwellian. n/t

[sarge43]

71. Condolences, Oilwellian

[Ron Green]

72. I am deeply sorry. Your loss is beyond my understanding,

but this loving community at DU is in grief and support for you.

[nadinbrzezinski]

73. May you not know of more pain

my dear Oilwellian

[glinda]

74. ((hugs)) Very sad....

[Betsy Ross]

75. Peace. eom

[cordelia]

76. Please accept my condolences.

I cannot begin to understand what you're dealing with right now.

May you find peace and comfort.

[hedgehog]

77. I am so sorry for your pain!

[Kali]

78. oh! I am so sorry!

Beautiful tribute, such strength showing.

[progressoid]

79. Oilwellian,

I cant express my sorrow for you.

May his memory sustain you.

[WilliamPitt]

80. Oh my God.

I am so, so sorry.

[irisblue]

81. i am so sorry

[babylonsister]

82. My heartfelt condolences,

Oilwellian. I can't even imagine.

[RKP5637]

83. Hugs ...

[hay rick]

84. My condolences for your loss.

[marmar]

85. .....

[OKNancy]

86. I can't imagine the pain you must feel

My daughter is 29... I guess I can imagine it because if I lost her, I don't know how I could carry on.
Hugs to you and your family

[Sheepshank]

87. We are so very lucky when out lives are touched by a good person

and your son likely touched many lives in such a positive manner. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry someone so young leaves family and home with an empty spot

[cantbeserious]

88. Condolences

eom

[oldandhappy]

89. I am sorry

What a shock. I send you hugs and prayers. I am glad for your loving relationship and glad you can feel his love. I am grateful you have good memories.

[MerryBlooms]

90. Sending our deepest condolences to you and your family. n/t

[virgdem]

91. My deepest sympathy to you ...

for your immeasurable and tragic loss of such a fine young man.

[doc03]

92. Very sorry for your loss. My youngest brother

48 was found dead on his kitchen floor by his daugther on Good Friday this year, he was 48 and had a
heart attack. He got fired from his job because he had excessive report offs for health problems. A week later
he ended up in the hospitol with Cellulitus. Being that he lost his health insurance when he lost his job he was a
charity case so they sent him home the next day with a $6800 dollar bill. He passed away about a week later.

[PDJane]

93. I'm so very, very, sorry.

He was a beautiful human being.

[MADem]

94. I can't begin to have a clue as to how you must be feeling right now.

My deepest sympathies to you and and your family, as well as all his friends. What a profound loss.

[AngryOldDem]

95. My deepest sympathies.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts today, and going forward.

Peace.

[Barack_America]

96. I simply cannot find the words. I am so very sorry.

Things like this will never make sense to me. So young, so loved.

[B Calm]

97. Life is an incredible journey and

we have to be prepared for anything. When it’s hard for you, think of the good times and remember that you have shown your son your love, support, and understanding, and these are the important things in life.

[Jackpine Radical]

98. What a great tragedy.

I am so sorry for your loss.

[rug]

99. I am so sorry.

[Dustlawyer]

100. My heart goes out to you! The most important thing that I learned from my son's death was

that we are not guaranteed the next day. Find joy where ever you can and don't get bogged down with too many long range plans or put off vacations or time with family. It gave my sons death some meaning that he taught me that. Things will be better over time, but it will take a good while. I decided that since I made it through the toughest part, nothing else short of losing another child would phase me. I know that all of the problems that I currently face are nothing compared to what I have already been through, thus they have no power over me to make me worry or stress. My son gave me that as well. Miss you Joshua, Happy Thanksgiving to all and love the family you have, they are what is important in life!

[classof56]

101. What sad news. Such a stunning blow--my heart goes out to you.

Quite awhile ago, a fellow DUer posted this poem, which I have never forgotten. Hope you do not mind me sharing.

ASCENSION

And if I go while you’re still here,
Know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure
Behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me, so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
Both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to the fullest—
And, when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart.
I will be there.

--Colleen Hitchcock

and blessings.

[KT2000]

102. I am so sorry

Your tribute is beautiful and oh so sad. Peace to you and your family.

[tblue]

103. I am so sorry!

Sending you hugs. Damn! I am so sorry, sweetie.

[stevenleser]

104. Very sorry to hear this Oilwellian. Love to you and your family.

[Tikki]

105. Hugs and more hugs…please know we care..

Our sympathies…

...The Tikkis

[Lex]

106. My profound condolences.

Warmth and peace to you.

[RiffRandell]

107. I am so sorry.

My heart aches for you. What a beautiful person...peace to him and your family.

[Nika]

108. My most sincere condolences

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

[radhika]

109. So very, very sorry for this loss. Love to you and your family. n/t

[adirondacker]

110. So Truly Sorry to hear this.

Please Take Care.

[nevergiveup]

111. I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

I have only one child, a son close to your son's age. It is beyond my comprehension to grasp what you must being going through.

[AuntFester]

112. I am very sorry for your loss.

[TeeYiYi]

113. (((((((Oilwellian)))))))...

I wish peace for you. May you find some comfort here.

TYY

[JustinBulletin]

114. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers

I only have one child, a son who is almost forty. I cannot imagine the grief you are feeling now. So, so very sorry for this terrible loss.

[Old and In the Way]

115. I cannot imagine anything worse than losing a son or daughter.

My deepest condolences.

[Th1onein]

116. I am so sorry.

I lost my son to Cystic Fibrosis in 1998; I know how much it hurts. There are no words to sooth your sorrow. But please know that you are in my thoughts and that my heart is with you.

[fadedrose]

117. Heartbreaking

There's no words to comfort you. Time, and a lot of it, will ease it, but it won't leave you.

Living gives us so many scars, the worst after the best experiences.

Love, love, love...

[tavalon]

279. This, is, unfortunately true

I lost my mother when I was eight and there are still times when my heart aches with missing her.

[mimi85]

118. I can't even

imagine losing a child. It must be the worst pain ever. Keep the good memories in your heart.

[secondwind]

119. it pains me so much to hear of your loss..no mother should bury her children..... As a mother, I

send out to you my heartfelt condolences, and my hopes that you will have rich memories of him to give you comfort in the days ahead.

Stay strong...

[LittleBlue]

120. Damn, that's awful

He sounds like he was a great guy.

[redwitch]

121. May he rest in peace.

Words are inadequate to express what I am feeling for you.

[lordsummerisle]

122. That's horrible n/t

[magical thyme]

123. I am so sorry for your loss...

May your son rest in peace, and may you and your family find peace...

[ms liberty]

124. So very sorry for your loss. n/t

[Voice for Peace]

125. this is an incomprehensible loss and I wish you great comfort and many cleansing tears.

[lillypaddle]

126. Such a terrible tragedy

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how difficult this day (and days ahead) is for you and your family. Take care of yourselves.

[7962]

127. Way too young. So very sorry.

[Mika]

128. My deepest condolences.

My words fail me. So very sorry.



"I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens.
If I were to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening.
And he would be waiting for me there."
~ Sonmi

[Bennyboy]

129. So sorry....

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[sueh]

130. Oilwellian, I am so sorry.

[shireen]

131. my deepest condolences

that's a loss i cannot begin to fathom. Not just the pain of losing a child, but one at such a young age. He sounded like a wonderful man. It's so wrong …

[Schema Thing]

132. I'm so sorry, Oilwellian.

[TxDemChem]

133. I am sorry for your loss.

He sounds like a wonderful son and a true ray of light to those who knew him. Your family is in our thoughts.

[OhioChick]

134. My condolences to you and yours

[democrank]

135. I`m so very sorry.

May he rest in peace~

[whatchamacallit]

136. No...

So terribly sorry, Oilwellian
Peace to you all.

[G_j]

137. deepest sympathies

thank you for sharing

[AmBlue]

138. My heart aches for you.

As the mother of two young teenage sons myself, I cannot fathom the depth of your loss, but to even imagine it hurts. May his love for you and your wonderful memories of him sustain you always.

[Whisp]

139. no words...

so sorry

[question everything]

140. My deepest condolences Oilwellian

Parents should not bury their children, but am glad that you are at peace and that you have so many memories of him to cherish.





and for his memory -

[seabeyond]

141. no regrets for any unspoken words that we meant to share with each other, but never did.

i had that with the passing of my mom. the greatest comfort. for all that do not have this with loved ones, it does give peace

oilwellian, i cannot imagine the loss. a beautiful tribute you give to your son today, in this sad sad time. thank you for sharing your son.

i am so sorry.

[ProSense]

142. My deepest sympathies.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

[Snotcicles]

143. Oilwellian...... After reading this, the sorrow I feel is nearly unbearable. nt

[mountain grammy]

144. Sometimes it's hard to understand how life goes on with such sorrow

but it does. My deepest sympathies for your loss. May happy memories bring you peace and comfort.

[LumosMaxima]

145. I'm so sorry.

(((Oilwellian)))

[maddezmom]

146. Sorry for your loss

[LoisB]

147. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to understand your pain; as you said

"there are no words".

[Sheldon Cooper]

148. Oh no. I'm so sorry.

[azurnoir]

150. I'm so very sorry to hear this

it is so very hard to bury your children and wrong, hold on to the memories of the joy hye brought to your life

[Jamastiene]

151. I'm so sorry.

[cate94]

152. I am so sorry for your loss.

May he rest I peace. Love and light to you and your family.

[RainDog]

153. (((((((((hugs to you))))))))

my deepest sympathy to you. as a mother, I don't think I can know the pain, the imagining of it is so terrible.

[northoftheborder]

154. Sending my deepest sympathy for your tragic loss.

[Thor_MN]

155. Sorry.

[CFLDem]

156. So sorry for your loss!

You have my family's condolences.

[fizzgig]

157. i am so sorry, oilwellian

i can't even imagine. love to you all

[mopinko]

158. not supposed to happen.

just not supposed to be that way.
thankful that you were all square with him. it is like the difference between a straight, clean wound and a ragged tear. you will heal so much better for it.

so sorry for your loss.

[kelliekat44]

159. I can think of nothing more heartbreaking than the loss of a child.

Condolences to you and your family.

[Paulie]

160. .

[brentspeak]

161. Deepest sympathies

Prayers for you and your family

[onlyadream]

162. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can't even imagine. So sorry.

[enlightenment]

163. My most sincere

condolences, Oilwellian. As the mother of an adult son, I can only imagine your grief.

[Ron Obvious]

164. Oh damn...

I can't imagine anything worse. So sorry...

[JesterCS]

165. So Sorry for your loss

I couldnt imagine. *hugs*

[Delphinus]

166. I'm so sorry.

[Not Me]

167. What a wonderful tribute to a beautiful son.

I offer you my most heartfelt condolences, and hope that the fond memories of him ease your sorrow.

[heaven05]

168. my deepest condolences

[B2G]

169. I am so sorry

I can't even imagine your loss.

[backwoodsbob]

170. OMG

Hold on to the good memories with all your heart and cherish your time together.

I can't imagine the pain you are going through...all I can give is my knowledge that the good times will be remembered forever

[handmade34]

171. …..

[TuxedoKat]

172. I'm so sorry

for the loss of your beloved son. What a lovely person he was and what a loss to the world. (((HUGS)))

[Moostache]

173. I feel terrible for your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. (n/t)

[Duppers]

174. no words except

I'm so terribly sad for you and your family.

Having lost a child, I know your pain. Now, I'll hug my 26 y.o. ever tightly and sent a cyber embrace to you.
{{{HUGS}}}

[sheshe2]

175. My thoughts are for you and your family.

I am so sorry for your loss, Oilwellian. (((hug)))

[UtahLib]

176. I am so sorry for your loss.

May the memory of your sweet son be a warm glow throughout your life.

[awoke_in_2003]

177. I am sorry to hear this...

my mother died on thanksgiving day in 1981 when I was 13. It always makes this time of year a little rough. It may be hard, but try to dwell on the good memories.

[rhett o rick]

178. My deepest sympathy. nm

[Demo_Chris]

179. I cannot imagine your pain. I am so sorry. nt

[uppityperson]

180. Oh Oilwellian, I do not have the words.

[JohnnyLib2]

181. I am so sorry.

[Puglover]

182. I am so sorry Oilwellian.

[LegalScholar]

183. This is so sad

I don't know you. It doesn't matter. My heart aches for you and your family.

[diabeticman]

184. I am sorry

[GCP]

185. I am so sorry

As a mother of two sons, I'm in tears at your loss.

[LadyHawkAZ]

186. So sorry for your loss, Oilwellian

[BlancheSplanchnik]

187. oh dear....oh... I have no words.....

Such a shock.

I wish you all comfort and strength. Love from family and friends to ease the suffering.

[roguevalley]

188. there are no words only tears. i am so sorry.

[Nay]

189. My heart breaks for you. I am so terribly sorry. nt

[RBInMaine]

190. Extremely sorry. I lost a brother who was only 43. These are terrible tragedies.

[daleanime]

191. ........

[MineralMan]

192. I'm incredibly sad for you.

Losing a child...that's the worst, I think. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[SummerSnow]

193. Sorry for your lost. You have my condolences

[nolabear]

194. I am so sorry. It's unimaginable.

[Jack Rabbit]

196. ()

[Egalitarian Thug]

197. We too are both shocked and saddened by this news.

Be as good to yourselves as he would want you to be.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

198. How sad

Sorry for your loss. Sounds like it was pretty unexpected.

[Illinoischick]

199. Sorry for Your Loss

[nyquil_man]

200. He will live on in all he has taught you.

That is the most wonderful tribute of all.

[dembotoz]

201. so sorry

[ismnotwasm]

202. ....

[WillyT]

203. (((((((Oilwellian)))))))

I'm so sorry...



Peace...

[Eyerish]

204. You and your family are in my thoughts today.

I am so very sorry for your loss

[jimlup]

205. So sorry for your loss

[malaise]

206. Oh my-this is so sad

Deepest sympathy to you and your family Oilwellian

[Kingofalldems]

207. Very sorry for your loss.

[denbot]

208. My condolences.

Peace.

[Arugula Latte]

209. I don't have the words, but ...

all I can say is that I'm so very, very sorry.

[Cha]

210. My deepest sympathies,, Oilwellian~

I'm so glad you have his, "I love you, Mom"

[TheKentuckian]

211. I hope what peace there is finds you and yours

[Smarmie Doofus]

212. .......................

[opiate69]

213. Heartbreaking. My sincerest condolences.

[Tigress DEM]

298. Yeah. That's what it is. Heartbreaking. nt

[polichick]

214. Bless you and yours, Oilwellian ~ thank you for sharing your beautiful boy.

[SammyWinstonJack]

215. .

[Fla Dem]

216. Such a beautiful son and human being. He will be forever young in your memories.

My heart breaks for you and for all those who loved him.

[LongTomH]

217. I am so sorry for your loss.

If he was an old soul, he must have been sent to you for a good reason.

[llmart]

219. Tears in my eyes.......

As the mother of a grown son whom I have adored from the day he was born, I can't even imagine the pain you must be in. Just know that my thoughts are with you though I've never even met you. I only know that you had to be a special person to raise such a wonderful son.

My deepest condolences.

[DhhD]

220. Sorry for your tragic loss.

[Buns_of_Fire]

221. I'm so sorry. There are no words to ease the pain, I know.

But for whatever comfort it may bring, we'll be here whenever you need someone to talk to.

[johnnyreb]

222. I have read your posts for years, Oilwellian.

You and therefore no doubt your son, have informed and influenced me. And I inform and influence many around me.

[undeterred]

223. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[MFM008]

224. so painful

no one can guess at it. My most sincere condolences for the loss of your boy. Mine just turned 30. I would be beyond repair at his loss.
Thinking of you today, you reminded me how thankful we should be.

[blueknight]

225. im so sorry

i just cant imagine.....

[Blue_In_AK]

226. I'm so sorry.

I can't even imagine your sorrow. <<hugs>>

[nclib]

227. I am so very very sorry for your loss.

[HereSince1628]

228. I buried my first born daughter on Nov 24th, 1972

Your loss brings back my own pain, and I am saddened that you must experience it.

Love for those torn from us hurts very deeply.

I cannot promise that your loss will ever be redeemed with better feelings, I suspect it will always be associated with a very heavy heart.

However, if you experience is similar to mine, over time you will be able to have memories, even happy memories, of what came before the loss. And you are free to have happiness after it.

[Stargazer09]

229. I'm so sorry for your loss

[Lifelong Protester]

230. I add my condolences

So very sorry to hear this.

[abelenkpe]

231. So very sorry!

[MannyGoldstein]

232. My heart is with you

It's wonderful that you had such a great relationship.

Peace to all.

[auntAgonist]

233. My son is 30 and I cannot begin to imagine your sorrow. Please

accept my heartfelt condolences and sincere sympathy. From one Mom to another. May your memories bring you warmth on those days when your world is offering nothing but cold sadness.



aA
kesha

[joanbarnes]

234. Bless you in your sorrow.

[Oscarmonster13]

235. I know I don't know you

but I wish I could hug you through the ethers.
No parent should have to bury a child, no matter the circumstance. However you sound like you had a great relationship and I know that is a comfort. I have a 21 yr old, so I can only imagine...

sending you healing thoughts ...

[dixiegrrrrl]

236. Words are not adequate

As mother, I can only imagine how devastating your loss is.

I am so very sorry.....

[onestepforward]

237. I'm so sorry, Oilwellian

Wishing you and your family comfort and peace.

[steve2470]

238. My sincerest condolences in your time of tremendous loss and grief nt

[GreenPartyVoter]

239. Oh my goodness! I am so very, very sorry! *hugs*

[mother earth]

240. Sincerest condolences for you and always take solace in the love you both shared, a gift that few

experience, very few. Stay strong and don't try to forget, but remember...honor and remember the love of a beautiful son.

[Granny M]

241. So very sorry for your loss.

Peace to you and your family.

[Stellar]

242. ((((Oilwellian))))

I am so sorry for this great loss that you and your family are going through. I hope that you will find peace soon.

[gopiscrap]

243. OMG RIP there are no words that I can say

that would express what you must be going through. May you find community and support and others to walk this hard tough journey and know that there are days of peace and comfort ahead!

[kairos12]

244. My heartfelt condolences

[Johnny Noshoes]

245. nt.

[frazzled]

246. Deepest condolences

I can't imagine. From his picture, you can see not only how beautiful he was on the outside, but the inner beauty shines through too.

I'm very very sorry for your loss.

[oneshooter]

247. My condolences to you and your family, The loss of a loved one is hard enough on a person

bu have it happen so close to a holiday that brings families together just adds to the pain.

Again the sincerest condolences from my family to yours.

[WCGreen]

248. I can't imagine losing a child...

No matter how old they were.

[Sissyk]

249. I am so so sorry for your loss of your son, Oilwellian!

My heart and sorrow are with you.

[bearssoapbox]

250. So very sorry for your loss.

I almost lost my oldest when he was 14 and remember how I felt then.

But to actually lose a child...



Condolences to you and your family.

Take care of yourself.

[rurallib]

251. Joe Biden had some great thoughts on this a few years back

Speaking to gold star families:

the memory of their loved one will one day bring “a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye”:

our deepest sympathy. We have children near that age.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

252. I'm so sorry for your loss.

My big sister passed on in 1990 and I miss her every goddamn day of my life. We were the closest of friends.

[sakabatou]

253. *hugs*

[loli phabay]

254. condolences, weird question where did he live as he looks familiar.

[Major Hogwash]

255. . . .

[Ilsa]

256. I am so sorry for your loss, our loss.

Our world is diminished without him.

[KitSileya]

257. I am so sorry for your loss. n/t

[calimary]

258. Aw, Damn. I'm so sorry to hear this, Oilwellian. Damn.

Only 29. Damn.

My immediate thought, as a mom, was: "died in his sleep - very peaceful, non-cataclysmic way to go. Hopefully painless and quick." One never wants to see one's children suffering or in pain.

Damn.

Thinking about you this day, Oilwellian. I'm glad you posted about this. I will NEVER forget how much it meant to me when I posted that little note here the night my mom died. The outpouring was just almost overwhelming. It was SO comforting. And in that case, she was 90, she'd had this amazing life, she was in agonizingly declining health, and we all knew it was coming. Didn't make it much easier, though. I will never forget how kind and supportive and sympathetic (and empathetic) people here were. It DID help. DU can be infuriating sometimes, but it will also buoy you up when you need it most. I think it was Skittles who said "somebody's always here." I just love that! It's so true. Somebody always is. And always with big strong shoulders to lean on during a tough time, and ready to hear you out and share the burden - and just be there, and just listen. It helps a LOT to know you don't mourn alone.

[Oilwellian]

273. You're so right

I will find great comfort in this thread during the difficult days ahead. Thank you, calimary.

[calimary]

384. It just gave me such a sense of - I dunno - a sort of inner support? Hard to put it into words

most appropriately.

This is a website. A chat room. So, okay then. I think I have personally met exactly TWO of the multitudes of people who posted here. But there are soooooooooooooooo many others here with whom I've had various exchanges and conversations. But I was so incredibly touched by the reaching-out that was done that night. And so much of it! How many DUers appeared on that thread, with such kindness, comforting words, caring and loving messages, honest compassion and sincerity, such supportive thoughts - and they don't know me and I don't know them. But in another sense, they do and I do. We have this strange and wonderful and sustaining connection here on DU. It shows itself really powerfully at times like this. Like a big box of loose pearls. But you look closer, and maybe you reach in to pick one up, and suddenly you notice they're not loose pearls at all. They're strung together and as you lift one, the others come along with it. Loosely and with some of that almost invisible fishing line that's not immediately apparent until you look closely.

I still cherish the memory of that whole intimate little DU experience. It was late that night. My husband and kids had gone to bed. I was awake. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't shut my mind off. The whole funeral thing (and more) lay ahead, and I wasn't looking forward to any of it even with all the time we'd had to prepare emotionally, 'cause as I said earlier, we all knew it was coming, and soon. And there was no one to talk to. Felt kind of alone there. So as usual, I went online and came here - just sort of an automatic thing I always do anyway. I posted a brief one and then figured that was that.

But it wasn't. Within seconds, there was a reply. SECONDS! Then another one. Then some recs. Then more replies. Suddenly there were dozens of each. And it just grew from there. By the next morning, WHOA! I had to scroll and scroll and scroll to follow them all. I had no idea. No idea. I CANNOT describe, adequately, what that meant.

When I say I love DU, it comes from WAY DOWN DEEP in the heart. And it's clearly here for you now, Oilwellian - and I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE to see that. Just reinforces how I feel about DU, yet again, and it comforts me a little bit, too, all over again.

[Skittles]

259. ...

I'm so sorry

that picture is so poignant, the way only the child's face and hands are in living color

[Oilwellian]

274. He loved playing in Photoshop

and had quite an artistic eye.

[Skittles]

295. may I ask

is that his little boy? They're both so handsome and have identical hairlines.

[Are_grits_groceries]

260. I am so sorry....

I do not know how to begin to handle such grief.

1
When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

Ever-returning spring, trinity sure to me you bring,
Lilac blooming perennial and drooping star in the west,
And thought of him I love.

-from 'When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d'
by Walt Whitman

[kestrel91316]

261. ..

[LisaLynne]

262. I am so very sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry.

[pacalo]

263. I am so sorry for your precious loss, Oilwellian.

I wish you & your family strength, peace, and comforting memories to sustain you.

[mecherosegarden]

264. I am so sorry for your loss!

As a mom, I can't even imagine the pain you and your family must be going through .
My deepest condolences.

[NikolaC]

265. I am so sorry for your loss

I wish you and your family peace and comfort during this time .

[Vinca]

266. My deepest condolences. I can't imagine your pain.

[shanti]

267. I'm so very sorry for your loss

Losing a child has to be the worst feeling...

[asjr]

268. Being a mother also I wish I could

help hold some of your pain.

[idwiyo]

269. hugs

[indepat]

270. Our deepest sympathy: the magnitude of your loss is beyond measurement and

comprehension.

[sabrina 1]

271. Oh, Oilwellian, to say I am sorry seems so inadequate. Your tribute to your son is beautiful.

Knowing you through your comments on DU for the past number of years, it is no surprise that you could write these words to describe him:

He lived his life with such great integrity, and understood intensely the meaning of love for his family and friends. He was truly an old soul that taught me more about life than I was ever capable of teaching him.

Your life has changed forever, what a shock that this should happen to someone so young. But he was a gift to you that so many never experience.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts to day.

and I can't help it

Take care of yourself ....

[emsimon33]

272. My heart goes out to you and your family at this tragic and untimely loss

[pnwmom]

275. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Oilwellian.

[Duval]

276. Heartfelt condolences, Oilwellian. n/t

[tavalon]

277. Children should never precede their parents into the great beyond

I am so sorry for your loss. There really is nothing else I can say.

[DiverDave]

278. I'm so very sorry for you.

Please take care of yourself.

If you want to simply talk to someone, PM me and I will listen.

Dave.

[DUgosh]

280. What an unspeakable loss.

There are no words to express how sorry I am to hear of this.

[hollysmom]

281. so very very sorry for such a great loss

Over the years I have lost young people in my life to undiscovered problems they were probably born with and went undetected, Life is fragile and unpredictable, This is no comfort, it is just the way it is.

[Chemisse]

282. What a tragedy. My heart goes out to you and his other loved ones in this time of sorrow.

[marble falls]

283. I can't begin to understand the impact this must have on you, but know you are in a lot of prayers.

[hue]

284. "To live in the hearts of others is not to die." Thomas Campbell My deeoest sympathy!

What a deep loss! There are no words to describe this!!

Yet it looks as if He did not suffer, but passed peacefully!
Indeed it looks like a sudden cardiac arrhythmia occurred during His sleep.

What a wonderful, beautiful Son!!

[laundry_queen]

285. :( I'm so very sorry.

And those words sound so empty as compared with the enormity of the grief you must feel. Your son sounds like an amazing person.

[redstatebluegirl]

286. My deepest sympathy!

We should never have to bury our children.

[williesgirl]

287. My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine what you're going through. Love, prayers & hugs to you.

[Worried senior]

288. I am so sorry for your loss.

He sounds like a wonderful man, one that you can be very proud of.

[Lilma]

289. Words cant express how sorry I am for you and those who

loved him. He was much much too young to go. My youngest was 28 a couple of weeks ago and I just cant imagine the pain you have to be feeling.

Peace be with you.

[NaturalHigh]

290. I realize that nothing I can say will relieve your pain...

but please accept my condolences for your loss. Your son seems like a wonderful person.

[deutsey]

291. I'm so terribly sorry

[KoKo]

292. So sad to hear this...your tribute to your son was wonderful...

Sending (((GOOD VIBES))) to you and your family going through this. There are no words that I can say except:

and a BIG to you and yours getting through this.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

293. My deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies

are extended to you and your family beyond what my words can adequately convey. I'm so, so very sorry :hug;

[Loki]

294. May you find comfort in the memories

you have of your beautiful son. May you find peace.

[kickitup]

296. So sorry for you loss.

I hope the memory of his love and his kind spirit bring you comfort.

[riverbendviewgal]

297. oh my heart goes out to your family

I know, as a mom who lost her younger 26 year old son, what you are feeling. I am so so sorry. And the sudden unexpected loss of life no words can express my sorrow. He was a very handsome young man. I send you love and wish you strength in this great loss.

[Inspired]

299. I am so sorry for the loss of your son.

[hootinholler]

300. I never have words for these occaisions

My sincere sympathy for a situation I cannot imagine where my mind would be.

[countryjake]

301. I'm so very sorry. Wishing you peace & strength...

to manage thru this shocking tragedy. Such a loss is beyond understanding and there are no words to help your family bear it, but you're in my thoughts tonight.

[Warren DeMontague]

302. Very Sorry.

Very, Very Sorry.

[Dorian Gray]

303. Oh gosh

I can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now. What a handsome man. Too short of a life, though I'm sure he made a major impact on those who knew him. Much love to you and his entire family right now.

[paleotn]

304. I'm so sorry....

...words escape me. What a wonderful son.

[DonCoquixote]

305. condolences

Especialy since I know people younger than me that have died, so I have lessillusions about life and death. I wish you the best, and hope some good people are offering the help you need.

[Aerows]

306. I'm sorry for your loss.

May your son be blessed.

[Useless in FL]

307. My Sincerest Sympathies, Oilwellian

Your post made me weep, as it has for you, I'm sure. Your precious son was a jewel and I have no proper words to offer to ease your pain. You must know that you were loved, because he expressed it, and in that you must find comfort and strength from this.

[Fumesucker]

308. Words always feel so inadequate at these sorts of times

I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

[DesertFlower]

309. so sorry. nt

[louslobbs]

310. I'm so sorry for your loss. n/t

Lou

[JI7]

311. .

[FourScore]

312. I'm so sorry, Oilweelian. I cannot even imagine what you are feeling now.

It's a beautiful picture of him. Is that his son with him?

So sad...

[Oilwellian]

323. Thank you, and yes, that is his son

He is now eight, and has the same tender heart as his father. There is also a beautiful granddaughter who is five, and has his mischievous sense of humor. Their beautiful mother was his high school sweetheart, and they have been devoted to each other since they were kids. She is a daughter to us in every way and we are intent on staying strong and being there for all of them. We are so fortunate to have them in our lives, and we will be seeing our son in his children as they grow. For that we are eternally grateful.

Thank you for asking and allowing me to say a little about his beautiful family.

[FourScore]

344. Such a beautiful family...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers this Thanksgiving weekend, Oilwellian.

[Politicub]

313. I'm so sorry for your loss

May he rest in peace.

[Lint Head]

314. My thoughts are with you and your family. Peace.

[barbtries]

315. i am so sorry

not supposed to be this way.
i hurt for you

[Hassin Bin Sober]

316. .

[Tom SD]

317. Praying for Heaven

I'm praying you'll meet again in heaven someday. I lost my older brother to a sudden heart attack and I hope to see him there someday. May God bless you in your sorrow.
Love Tom

[gopiscrap]

326. Welcome to DU

[madrchsod]

318. peace be with you and ours.

he will always be with you not of the body but in spirit.

[karend62]

319. deepest sympathies

As parents, we want our children to live with integrity and to leave this world a better place because they were here. Thank you for sharing your son's story.

[Hissyspit]

320. So very sorry to hear this, Oilwellian.

Last edited Thu Nov 28, 2013, 11:54 PM - Edit history (2)

Recommended: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0836252829

[locks]

321. There are no words

I lost my 25 year old son in 1985 and it always seems like yesterday. Doesn't get easier but time helps to remember so vividly the joy he brought and to be so thankful for having him, even for such a brief time. Bless you for writing about him.

[GoCubsGo]

322. I'm so sorry.

[mikekohr]

324. May God hold your son in the palm of his hand.

[caledesi]

325. Very sad! My heartfelt condolences! nt

[TheDebbieDee]

327. I'm so very sorry for your loss.....

[SaveOurDemocracy]

328. My condolences and sympathy on the loss of your beloved son.

I can't imagine the shock and grief your family is experiencing.

[Yo_Mama]

329. I am so sorry for your loss

It is indeed a tremendous loss and a great shock, and there are no words.

All my best to your family during this awful time.

[ReRe]

330. So sorry for your loss, Oilwellian

[Generic Other]

331. My condolences to you Oilwellian

I am so sorry.

[Festivito]

332. May the good he sewed in you and your family remain and grow in each of you.

There is no sugar coating this. If I were there I'd offer a shoulder and need to use yours. Stay and be well.

[StrayKat]

333. I am very sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing a small bit of a very personal memory of a very special person with us.

[Jefferson23]

334. I don 't think I could take this... I hope you receive all the strength from his love

you will ever need..peace.

[libodem]

335. So very sorry

[busterbrown]

336. What a gentle face!!!

His little boy will go on to do great things... I just know it!!!

[Beacool]

337. Words fail me.

I don't know what to say. What a terrible loss for you and your family. My heart goes out to you.

He was such a good looking man and seems to have been a terrific person and son. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

[defacto7]

339. There are just no words at times like this....

[westerebus]

340. My condolences.

[kanda]

341. Unfortunately

Unfortunately, I know this feeling. We buried our youngest son, 19, this summer. He also was a healthy young man. The cause of death listed on his death certificate is "cardiac arrhythmia due to unknown causes." Not a whole lot of answers there.

You have my deepest sympathy. There are no words. As others have said, no parent should bury a child. It's completely unnatural. Be kind to yourself. Today at the Thanksgiving table I was thankful that I got to be his mother. From the lovely tribute you wrote for your son, it sounds like our boys were kindred spirits. I feel like the rest of the world really missed out on not knowing my Danny boy and the joy he brought into all of our lives.

Peace be with you.

[Jefferson23]

378. What a beautiful and thoughtful thing to say...so sorry for your loss.

[Arugula Latte]

385. kanda, I'm very, very sorry.

[Hekate]

342. May his name be remembered for a blessing, and may you find peace in time...

The shock of a sudden death, especially of a young person, is so hideous. Your own life changes irrevocably between one breath and the next. I know. You and your family have my profoundest condolences.

[SharonAnn]

343. I've been where you are. A phone call one morning that our 39 yr. old son had been found

dead in his bed that AM.. He had seemed to be in good health, was thin but it was a massive heart attack. Autopsy showed arteries blocked and evidence of a previous heart attack in the last year. Co-workers told he had bad "indigestion" that day and had gone home from work early.

He was a wonderful young man and I'll never forget the shock we felt then and the loss we feel now.

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the utter confusion of a time like this.

[Joey Liberal]

345. Good vibes headed your way

The character he displayed is a tribute to you. Stay strong. I know, easy to say ...........

[liberal_at_heart]

346. Too young. Too young. I am so sorry, and I'm glad you feel there was nothing unsaid.

[Vadem]

347. There are no words to express the heartfelt condolences I feel for

you and your family. Beautiful posting about your baby and I will pray for your family to have peace and rest after this heartbreaking tragedy.

[donheld]

348. How Aweful. I'm so very sorry.

[go west young man]

349. So sorry for your loss Oilwellian...

he looks like a really cool guy and a great dad. I'm not religious but I like to think that behind the veil of the dream world we all can see each other. One day we all close our eyes and wonder was it all a dream (as John Lennon said). I think it is and when we go it's comforting to know if you dream powerful dreams you can easily find each other. We exist in each other. We come from each other and we love each other. Please be comforted knowing that. Peace and warm thoughts for your whole family at this time.

[Cleita]

350. Oh, I can't imagine your pain, especially before the holidays.

I'm so sorry.

[Politicalboi]

351. So sorry to hear

[mazzarro]

352. My sincerest sympathies and prayers for your family -- n/t

[kag]

353. No words, indeed.

My heart aches for you, dear Oilwellian. No one should outlive their children.

[corksean]

354. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Words, however kind,
can't mend your heartache:
but those who care and
share your loss wish you
comfort and peace of mind.

[cui bono]

355. Oh, wow. So sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to have to deal with that.

[Democat]

356. So sorry

No words, but may he rest in peace.

[enigmatic]

357. I'm so sorry

[madfloridian]

358. Hugs...

Because I have no words.

[villager]

359. No words, Oilwellian. Except nearly-inexpressible condolences for your loss.

I had read your post earlier, before talking to each of my sons today (one a few hundred miles away, the other, a few thousand).

I'm pretty careful to tell them I love them, each time. I think I was even more careful, today.

Take care, and of course, reach out to your DU community as needed...

[cyberswede]

360. Very sorry for your loss.

Your post is a beautiful tribute.

[Liberal_in_LA]

361. I'm so sorry that you loss your son

[mnhtnbb]

362. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I cannot begin to imagine the shock you must feel from this. I hope
that all the wonderful memories you have will bring some small comfort
to you as your life goes on.

You wrote a beautiful tribute to him.

Hugs for you and all your family.

[DFW]

363. No words, just shock

I have daughters aged 28 and 30. I can't imagine the depth of your grief.

[woo me with science]

364. (((((((((((Oilwellian))))))))))

I am holding you in my heart. I am so very, very, very sorry.

There are no adequate words for this.

[lbrtbell]

365. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

It's so tragic when someone so young dies unexpectedly.

[riqster]

366. Hang in there. Hugs to all of you.

We lost our son last year, and are getting through it day by day. It does get better. Send a message if you need an ear to bend.

[bobGandolf]

367. So sorry for your loss!

Every parents worst nightmare....there are no words that can express your loss.
I am thankful you have no regrets for any unspoken words.

[berni_mccoy]

368. So very sorry for your loss.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

369. Blessings of comfort and love to you and your family.

My sincerest sympathies and condolences.

[Enthusiast]

370. I am sorry for your loss, Oilwellian.

((((hugs))))

[renie408]

371. I am so sorry for your loss.

[raccoon]

372. I'm sorry for your loss. :hug: nt

[a kennedy]

373. I'm so sorry for you loss.

Sounded like a wonderful son, and person. and that's a beautiful photograph.

[a la izquierda]

374. ..

I don't know what to say.

[IdaBriggs]

375. I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

[Skinner]

376. I'm so sorry.

[Little Star]

377. There are no words to express how very sorry I am for your loss...

[dotymed]

379. It was very hard for me to "click on" this announcement.

My sympathies to those who will always miss this fine young man.

Please do celebrate the privilege you were given.

Peace be with you.

[hrmjustin]

380. I am sorry for your loss.

[Mc Mike]

381. I am very sorry for your loss, O.w.

[Throd]

382. So sorry for your loss.

[Gormy Cuss]

383. So sorry for your loss of a son.

[bobthedrummer]

386. In deepest sympathy-his last words to you are what matter most.