Salon's Hack List 2013: Friedman and others in their own voices

[muriel_volestrangler]

Saon's Alex Pareene produces a list of the 10 worst media hacks each year. This year, each is a parody in their own style. So far there's been Malcolm Gladwell, Peggy Noonan, Henry Blodget and Erick Erickson, but I think the best has been Thomas Friedman:

I happened to notice a young Palestinian man working behind the counter. When I ordered my coffee, he realized that I was American. “Ah, like Thomas Friedman,” he said. “Friedman, the great New York Times columnist who understands the needs of and challenges facing people like me, working-class Palestinians living in the European Union, because of how often he travels the world and how many brief but illuminating conversations he has with service industry employees. We are all grateful to be material for his columns and books,” he said, standing in for all people like him, by which I mean most foreign brown people.

As I wrote down what he said to use it in my column, it struck me that the world is changing. The world used to be flat. Now, everyone I talk to, everywhere I go, tells me something is bending the world into a new shape. This 4G, 401(k) world is getting rounded. That scares a lot of people. But it doesn’t scare Thomas Friedman. Because while some old media dinosaurs are going extinct thanks to the asteroid of globalization and the giant dust plume of hyperconnectivity, Friedman is a cockroach. A cockroach made of stone. A cockroach made of stone that lives in The Cloud.

For a long time, the New York Times was vertical. It was longer top-to-bottom than side-to-side — unless you opened it up. Now, no one opens up the New York Times physically, they open it in their Web browsers. Suddenly, the New York Times is horizontal — until you scroll. That changes everything. Now the New York Times is horizontal and vertical. What does that mean for Thomas Friedman? It means fasten your seatbelt. You’re not going anywhere.

Thomas Friedman is an app. People who read Thomas Friedman, like President Obama and other rich Americans, are like teens using apps on their iPhones. Only this app doesn’t take a selfie, it takes a they-mie. See, Friedman’s a mirror, and like a mirror, he reflects. I call the people he’s reflecting “Friedman World.” In Friedman World, America is always saving Muslims from themselves by bombing them and columnists never learn any lessons from their worst mistakes. In Friedman World, the destabilization of America’s former middle class is actually an opportunity for formerly employed people to work on building their branded reputations.

http://www.salon.com/2013/12/16/hack_list_no_9_thomas_friedman/

[rocktivity]

1. Salon puts out hack lists?

Hope they included their own Ann March this year -- physicians, heal thyselves.


rocktivity

[Blue_Tires]

2. If there's one for sports, Peter King belongs at #1