Tourist distracted by Facebook falls off pier

[marmar]

SYDNEY (AP) — A tourist in Australia had to be rescued by police after plunging off a pier while browsing Facebook on her phone, officials said Wednesday.

The woman was walking along a bay in Melbourne on Monday night when she became distracted by her Facebook feed and plummeted off the pier into the chilly water, Victoria state police said.

A witness called for help and police rushed to the woman's aid. They found her flailing around in the water, about 20 meters (65 feet) from the pier.

"She was still out in the water lying on her back in a floating position because she told us later that she couldn't swim," Senior Constable Dean Kelly of the state water police told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. "She still had her mobile phone in her hand and initially she apologized and said sorry." ..................(more)

The complete piece is at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20131218/as--travel-brief-australia-facebook-fall/?utm_hp_ref=homepage&ir=homepage

[tanyev]

1. Whew! Saved the phone.

[hobbit709]

2. We don't have sabertooth tigers anymore to weed out the slow and stupid.

She's lucky she only got a Stupid Human Trick medal instead of a Darwin.

[tavernier]

91. First belly laugh of the day

[wordpix]

164. she couldn't help it - her head was in the cloud

[IdaBriggs]

169. ^== DUZY!

[Aerows]

3. This story is no good without video :D

I still remember the woman that fell in the mall fountain while texting. That was freaking hilarious.

[Iggo]

8. I didn't want to laugh at that one. I really didn't.

[XemaSab]

13. I'm going to have to ask for a link

in order to evaluate the validity of your claim.

[Agschmid]

19. Here...

Somewhat mean commentary... But it is funny, glad she is okay.

[XemaSab]

22. Classic

[SidDithers]

35. Oh wow...

that's hilarious.

Sid

[wordpix]

163. lmao, she was looking at her phone as she walked out of the pool

too funny, thanks

[Mr Dixon]

21. LOL

yes I REMEMBER that

[arcane1]

52. And the dumb-ass who almost walked into a bear:

[Aerows]

60. Holy cow

that's worse than when I was looking at my laptop and nearly walked into two 30+ pound racoons rushing the door. I dropped my laptop to get the sliding glass door closed to keep them out, but one of them had his snout stuck straight in the door ( didn't close it fully because I was freaked the hell out, they were freaking HUGE).

I *NEVER* open the door at night without looking. EVER. The laptop survived.

[pinboy3niner]

69. We always knew you were a raccoon-teur

You're the Carl Spackler of raccoons!

[HappyMe]

4. This kind of thing will keep happening.

I'll bet she immediately updated her FB right after rescue.

[marmar]

6. Probably took a selfie on the way down.

[HappyMe]

7. LOL!

I'm sure she did.

[quinnox]

65. ...

[pinboy3niner]

81. And her selfie made a big splash on Instagram

[klook]

94. Facebook automatically waterlogged her out immediately afterwards (n/t)

[pinboy3niner]

154. It's just as well...it was only a three hour tour

A threeee hoouuur toouur.

[Orrex]

5. Another victim of pier-to-pier networking.

[Blue_Tires]

9. I've called the "bad joke police" to your home

please step away from your keyboard and prepare to surrender peacefully when they arrive....

[Orrex]

11. You'll never take me alive, copper!

[Aerows]

37. it is obvious we are as-sailed

and that they pun-ted this one for our own to police.

[pinboy3niner]

86. Don't worry--I've already alerted DU's MIRTH Team. nt

[countryjake]

88. Aren't frivolous alerts verboaten?

[pinboy3niner]

89. Hang on while I put in a call to the admins to check on that...

One ringy dinghy (snort)...two ringy dinghies (snort)...

[countryjake]

90. Snort? What? Are you doing quay-ludes or something?

[pinboy3niner]

100. I mast object to yawl's making clams reef with insanduations

Alaska if you're the one who's baked? Were you raised in a barnacle? How else chasm you explain your bottom-dwelling attacks? This may be a Barrier to our friendship...

[countryjake]

101. Bwahahahahahaha! The Pun King strikes again!

I bow to your expertise!

[pinboy3niner]

104. It's an undeserved rep

Most of my groaners just sink, so no one notices them (thank Poseidon!).

You're not too shabby, yourself--in both puns and art.

[countryjake]

106. Tanks...

I've got a box full of old valentines from when I was a kid...saved 'em pacifically cause of all the cool puns that they used to use back then on that sort of thing. Always have loved 'em.

My devocean to art goes back to a tiny little painting of a dog that my grandma gave me, when I was four.

I always notice your wit, but I don't always log in to read and by the time I think of a comeback, it's sunk to the bottom.

[klook]

136. Yeah, this is overboard.

This thread is just swimming with trawls.

[jberryhill]

12. The admins should dock your posting privileges for that one

[Orrex]

14. That would be a declaration of open wharf-fare.

[jberryhill]

20. Now you're just piling on

[Aerows]

24. I'd have docked them

if I hadn't already canvassed the thread. I feel like I got roped into this one ...

[Arugula Latte]

27. Uh oh. I think he harbors some resentment now.

[Aerows]

31. I think we all need

to be bouyed at one time or another or we are just floating with the current ... affairs.

[BlueStreak]

42. We need to Deep Six this thread before somebody gets hurt.

[Orrex]

45. I have an ocean to abandon this entire discussion

rather than sea it through to the end.

[Aerows]

46. That ship has sailed

it's already going away. It might be a Titanic failure but it is on it's way.

[BlueStreak]

48. At this point, I'd settle for any port in a storm

[Aerows]

49. That's the tip of the iceberg n/t

[BlueStreak]

53. That's cold

[pinboy3niner]

123. Indeed--me timbers are shiverin'

But as Mom always said, "You got to go with the floe."

[KamaAina]

36. It was just a slip of the keyboard.

He's a little dinghy at times, you know.

[Aerows]

38. LMAO! Cannon understand why, though

Sea, this is what I think, sea ...

[pinboy3niner]

83. Despite all evidence to the contrary, he claims he is just hunky-dory

We suspect he may have fallen into de Nile while walking along a pier and browsing FB on his phone...

[AverageJoe90]

87. It's all water under the bridge now.....=p

[rrneck]

50. I resemble that remark.

[msanthrope]

16. Skinner should trim your sails on that one, but I like the cut of your jib. nt

[Aerows]

25. I'm knot buying it...

seems leagues beneath these sharks.

[Arugula Latte]

29. That comment should buoy his spirits.

[Aerows]

32. I'll raise a glass of Port.

He's a good skipper.

[pinboy3niner]

70. I'll join you. I was Army, but I harbor no ill will toward the marinas.

[klook]

133. Oh, for heaven's Sake!

[klook]

97. The dangers of posting when three sheets to the wind (n/t)

[pinboy3niner]

98. Thanks for the luffs

I needed that--I was in the doldrums. I like the cut of your jib. Yo-ho-ho!

[klook]

108. Scuttlebutt is the anchorman on the local news station pumped this bilge for days.

And I imagine they aired an interview with the winch, no doubt followed by astern warning to any nauty viewers tempted to repeat her gaff.

[pinboy3niner]

109. Must be broadcasting from the poop deck

They are far and aweigh a head in dredging the muck. And the anchor is adrift among the lost shoals. No wonder it's been called avast wasteland. It's kind of ashore point with me.

[klook]

110. Yes, the crews of these garbage scows are always scanning the horizon

looking for the shipwrecked and the marooned, just to fill their own treasure chests.

But ah, frigate! We can't let them take the wind out of our sails. Most of them are taking on water and will run aground before long anyway.

[pinboy3niner]

111. They keel me. Could they be any corsair?

They don't have a clew.

But dread naught--they'll get theirs, schooner or lighter.

[klook]

112. That fo'csle demeanor belies a barque that's worse than their bytes

-- the bytes on that pathetic woman's smartphone, that is...

Another casualty of wharf-fare.

[pinboy3niner]

113. What would propeller to do that?

I guess she just got sloopy, stepped off, and couldn't ketch herself. At least she's okay--just a little rudder in the face--tiller next time...

[klook]

114. pinboy3niner, I doff my boater in salute!

After I came barge-ing into this thread, navigating the currents of discourse, I soon saw it was awash with your many witty jests and gybes.

I'm a mere midshipman aloft on the mizzen of MIRTh, nay -- a cabin boy on this catamaran of comedy. You're a lieutenant of levity, a warrant officer of whimsy, a petty officer of punnery, an admiral of amusement.

There's avast opportunity for moor silliness and oakum, but I'll pipe down. This will tide me over. I dread nought, but I believe knowing when to take a different tack is quay. At heart I'm a lubber, not a freighter.

Fair winds and following seas, matey
- klook

[Arugula Latte]

116. Pinboy is a mast-er of the nautical pun.

[klook]

118. Canoe imagine anyone more fleet of mind

oar better (wet)suited to steer this discussion?

[pinboy3niner]

125. Take away all the flotsam and jetsam...

...and there's not one flotilla of evidence against me!

[pinboy3niner]

122. I guess what everybody always said about me is true--I AM a nauty boy

[pinboy3niner]

127. Careful with the flattery or I'm going to need a new capsize

You are a master graduate of naval punnery school. We should award you the Silver Spar for that!

[klook]

134. I was once told, "Get thee to a punnery!"

Looks like I did.

[Aerows]

23. LMFAO!

You win the internets today, Orrex. Where may I send them?

[Yavin4]

40. That was funny.

Good one.

[Aerows]

47. Where the heck is Pinboy3Niner? n/t

[jberryhill]

54. lol... He's studying for the Friday art quiz

[pinboy3niner]

56. Now you're just yankee-ing my chain

Did I miss anything here? I was indisposed for a while. You see, I was walking along this pier while browsing Facebook on my phone, and you'll never believe what happened...

[Aerows]

61. I know

He kicks ass at it. I just sit there and go "Look at the pretty art", and he's all "Well, in 1680 so and so painted this because ...".

Unreal.

[pinboy3niner]

68. That's some craft-y embroidering

I admire those who come to the art Challenges, recognize a work and an artist and reply with knowlege off the top of their head because they know something about the subject.

Art dunces like me draw a blank and google madly for info to find the answers. It may look impressive when we get lucky and succeed, but you don't see the cases when hours of searching go for naught. It's deceptive when the effort pays off, because we just make it LOOK easel, never letting on about the blood, sweat and tears involved in CTyankee's tortures...um, I mean Challenges.

Punnery, in my experience, is similar. You begin with not having a clue, but with a little practice you start getting better and your mind learns to adapt and shift into that mode.

Soon, when MFM posts that he likes a glass-bottomed boat so he can moon snorkelers, a thought just hits you and you can come right back with something like:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, thaaat's MFM's dory

The admins want DU to be serious...AND fun. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy makesJackadullboymakesJackadullboymakesJackadullboymakesJackadullboy...

[countryjake]

93. I admiral your dedicated searching!

And, you have to admit that surfing those art pages is fun!

[pinboy3niner]

99. Thanks! I always like to put action ahead of naval-gazing.

And the Challenges aways make for good Thames while keeping me current on art news.

[pinboy3niner]

57. No need to send an S-O-S, you all shorely had things well-covered

Like me, you are gluttons for punishment.

[Aerows]

67. Your opinion on such

matters is a lifesaver .

[pinboy3niner]

71. If you're gonna keep reaching broadly and staying on this tack...

...we Mae have to West the keyboard from your hands.

[onpatrol98]

103. Oh...that's a good one

[RKP5637]

105. That, was good!!! n/t

[Vashta Nerada]

10. What an idiot.

[JoePhilly]

15. "Siri --- call the Coast Guard and give them my position".

[pinboy3niner]

72. She figured she was on a Facebook mission, so she told them it was...

...missionary.

[JoePhilly]

17. "Siri - teach me to swim."

[JoePhilly]

18. "Siri - What kind of shark is that?"

[Viva_La_Revolution]

26. lol! nt

[Aerows]

28. It's the great

Atlantic snark

[Viva_La_Revolution]

41. New Scientific Discovery!

Atlantic snark Found Attacking Tourists in the Pacific Ocean!

[pinboy3niner]

75. It's okay, she's on top of it

"We're gonna need...a bigger phone!"

[klook]

131. She's rockin' to & fro, groovin' in the key of Sea

letting the sound waves wash over her...

[pinboy3niner]

144. When that album came out they were already past their binnacle. nt

[klook]

170. Yeah, that one only cost me a fin when I dredged it out of the record stow yarrs ago...

I was in my barca-longa the other night listening to this, my scull full of scales and reefs, when sampan occurred to me -- I think this band may have been a big influence on Phish.

[pinboy3niner]

171. Good point. Before Great White, Phish couldn't carry a tuna.

Great White loved to rub it in, too, always asking Phish "Hawser daddy?"

[klook]

135. "Siri, how do I get the taste of suntan lotion out of my mouth?"

[pinboy3niner]

137. ROFL!!

Of course, this case had a different ending. You could say the woman was the thole thurvivor...

[klook]

138. She otter be more careful in the future.

[pinboy3niner]

141. Nokiadding!

She listed aport when she should have listed astarboard.

[klook]

148. The sun was setting below the verizon,

so she was having trouble with her iSight. Hitting all 5 bars before taking a walk probably didn't help either.

[klook]

150. She wandered into Chanteytown

and wandered through all five bars, drinking from a bottle of rum and singing all the same songs her friend Sam sung.

[pinboy3niner]

146. Her mistake was passing up the iPhone for the iYamWhatiYamPhone

[klook]

147. Yeah, she was too Wimpy to try the iPhone

and the salesman who sold her the iYamWhatiYamPhone was a real Swee'pea.

[Number23]

166. Best post ever.

[Arugula Latte]

55. "Siri - How do I stop massive hemorrhaging from the loss of an arm?"

[Aerows]

62. Attach a tourniquet

and Siri-inge some blood.

[Arugula Latte]

63. Really? Are you Siri-ous?

[Aerows]

66. It was

a heartfelt recommendation.

[HappyMe]

30. "Siri - am I a dumbass?"

[pinboy3niner]

82. Siri: "After all of the ass selfies you posted...

...do you really need to ass me that?"

[HappyMe]

120. lol!

You are the master of puns.

[Jefferson23]

33. Geeze, at least it wasn't a nose dive..or was it. n/t

[pinboy3niner]

85. There's no evidence that she had any background in nasal operations

We shouldn't dive into speculation--at least, nostril we nose more.

[Jefferson23]

119. That was good and I enjoyed it, lol..thanks.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

34. Parents, never tell your texting and facebook obsessed kid to take a long walk off a short pier nt

[BlueStreak]

39. Facebook: Enabling stupidity at the speed of light

[HappyMe]

43. Twitter, texting and instagram too.

[pinboy3niner]

74. "Damn the torpedoes full speed ahead!"

Her FB feed must have been inundated after her little cruise.

[quinnox]

44. "...still clutching her phone"

Darwin award prevented!

[liberal N proud]

51. Never dropped the phone

The phone is more important to some people than their own life.

[pinboy3niner]

58. She was back-arrowing like crazy, unfortunately to no avail

[liberal N proud]

59. Oh I would believe that

[klook]

95. "Siri: Control-Z! Control-Z! Control-glubglub..." (n/t)

[malaise]

64. Darwin must have taken a day off

Jackass!

[pinboy3niner]

73. A jackass without pier

[malaise]

84. DUzy - that was Excellent

[catbyte]

76. "Dr. Darwin, paging Dr. Charles Darwin..."

[TeamPooka]

77. Facebook is trying to kill you.

[pinboy3niner]

78. Maybe they should rename it Faceplantbook

[Locut0s]

79. I wonder how many likes she got from posting about the incident on FB after?

[pinboy3niner]

80. Not so many likes--but she did catch a lot of waves

A lot of her FB friends thought her story was swells.

[klook]

92. Is there no depth to which you won't sink to as-sail this poor woman? (n/t)

[Arugula Latte]

115. It's well-known that pinboy has always been a little dinghy.

[pinboy3niner]

124. Don't have a scow, man!

Why, I yacht to...

At least you're not accusing me, as so many others have, of moral torpedo-tube.

[klook]

96. I can't fathom why everyone finds this so amusing.

We are plumbing new depths with this one. In fact, we may have hit bottom.

But hey, whatever floats your boat!

[pinboy3niner]

129. I can't fathom it either. It wasn't even on my sonar. I guess...

...we're gonna need a bigger periscope.

[RKP5637]

102. Wow, these phones are so magical they float on water, I hear the next generation of

phones will walk on water, later, drone phones will fly. The later ones would have helped, but at least this one kept her afloat!

Gen I, The Float-a-Phone
Gen II, The Walk-a-Phone
Gen III, The Fly-a-Phone

For those that can't walk and chew gum!!!!

[pinboy3niner]

128. Well, the phone DID come with an IRONCLAD guarantee. :) nt

[klook]

132. Only drawback is they MONITOR all your calls. (n/t)

[pinboy3niner]

107. Some people should just be required to wear a helmet and foaties at all times. nt

[TransitJohn]

117. A metaphor for out times....

eom

[pinboy3niner]

121. More like a semaphore...

[tridim]

126. Officially my favorite DU thread. :)

[pinboy3niner]

130. THANKS, OBAMA!1!!

This thread would not be complete without that...

[klook]

139. I think the woman was smoking while breast-feeding when she fell off the pier

and looking at porn on her phone at the same time as she was calling Olive Garden to place a to-go order of fried chicken.

[klook]

140. I was afraid enthusiasm for this thread was ebbing

but this evening we've seen another wave of comments.

[pinboy3niner]

143. It's a miraculous re-berth

But I'm not sure kicks from you and me can be called a "wave," lol. More like we've Shanghaied GD.

[klook]

149. From the dinghy perspective,

an inlet can look like ocean.

[whistler162]

142. Okay I shouldn't laugh 'cause I did something similar....

in San Francisco's waterfront farmers market but with a bratwurst and sauerkraut and it was only a curb. Did a very nice tuck and roll and saved my digital camera.

[tanyev]

151. *gasp* WHAT ABOUT THE BRATWURST??????

[pinboy3niner]

152. You never sausage a spectacle

While the judges were impressed with the triple flip, they were going to dock it for the sloppy landing until the 5-second rule was invoked (that was a lifesaver!). When the next meat is slated, we'll post a link.

[whistler162]

176. DOP(dead on pier) but they gave me another one

AND IT WAS AS GOOD AS IT LOOKED AND SMELLED.

Farm raised beef from a area rancher.

[pinboy3niner]

177. It's not every day you see someone brag about getting the wurst insurance

[Arugula Latte]

155. Frank-ly, I suspect your bratwurst story is baloney.

[pinboy3niner]

156. If you have a beef you should at least state on what ground

Else how will the poster loin?

[Arugula Latte]

157. The poster is a well-known ham.

And I don't know if that personality disorder can be cured.

[pinboy3niner]

159. Link?

[Arugula Latte]

160. OMG. A one-word masterpiece of a post!

I'll admit it. You really smoked me.

[pinboy3niner]

162. I wasn't certain, butt I had a haunch you'd approve

Butt that one was derivertive, really. It was a walk in the pork.

[klook]

172. You both should be carted away in the patty wagon for the braisin' tripe in this sub-thread,

but the town burgers would never press charges. They're too chicken.

[pinboy3niner]

174. That's offal! nt

[pinboy3niner]

145. PSA: In response to all who inquired, no this is NOT the Photo Contest 'Fall' thread

[leftyladyfrommo]

153. Did you see the guy who almost walked into a bear?

He was ambling along looking down at his phone and a bear was coming up the sidewalk from the other direction. Poor guy looked up and almost fainted. The bear was really close to him. He backed up really fast and took off running.

Bear didn't give chase - lucky for him it was a friendly bear.

[pinboy3niner]

158. Luckily, he had an escape claws

[klook]

167. It was a Kodiak moment!

News outlets love to panda to their readers with this kind of story. Lucky for the guy, despite his sloth, this story didn't have a grizzly ending. He was able to koala friend to help him out, but his friend wasn't too sympathetic. They're polar opposites.

[pinboy3niner]

178. It sounds like you are having ursine-ior moment

It sounds like you are having ursine-ior moment. (Bears repeating.)

[klook]

179. Yeah, these damn cub reporters

wouldn't even interview a grizzled "old-timer" like me. I couldn't get them to cave. Whatever, I'll growl out of it.

[pinboy3niner]

180. The I-Don't-Care Bears are...unbearable

Especially the Bipolar ones. ((HUGS))

[klook]

181. Aww, thanks for carrion!

[chungking34]

161. talk about obsession!

Is facebook really THAT important to some people lives? I just don't get it, honestly.

[wordpix]

165. she couldn't swim but "She still had her mobile phone in her hand"

To hell with trying to keep oneself alive in the frigid water when one can't swim, "I just gotta save my phone!"

[pinboy3niner]

168. Of COURSE she clung to her phone then. How else was she going to post on FB...

[Warren DeMontague]

175. Faceplant.com