I notice a lot of umbrage about privilege, and I honestly think it's off base a little.

[LaydeeBug]

I hear the tones of Wavy Gravy saying how we should be 'share' people, and not 'compare' people. And we have a long way to go, but the answer is to INCLUDE one another.

The reverse of racism is inclusion. It's why I hate the term 'reverse racism'. There is just racism. The remedy is inclusion.

Opportunities in this fancy country are all too often given to the network of people 'in the know' and trickle down is just bullshit. The remedy is inclusion. It is.

I type this on the side of a hospital bed with my 'breathing on his own' father in the MICU department of Johns Hopkins medical center. So it might be a little disjointed. I have never been a bigger proponent of single payer health care because of this.

The remedy is inclusion. It is.

[bettyellen]

1. I think the only people who felt excluded were those less experienced with racism, who despite that,

still felt the dire need to control the conversation.

[LaydeeBug]

4. or maybe a little "comparey". nt

[brewens]

2. A buddy of mine noticed a guy with a name tag that said "W.Gravy" several years ago at

some bash in the Bay Area. Sure enough it was him and he talked to him quite a bit. It just really strikes me as funny that you'd see a guy like that all these years after the 60's and pick him out by that on a name tag!

[LaydeeBug]

5. That's a great story. We're FB friends. He inspires. nt

[2naSalit]

23. Wow, Wavey Gravy!

I am impressed, I didn't know if he was still around.

I never met the man but heard a lot about him back in the day, and about fifteen years ago too, I think it was. Thanks for bringing him up and reminding us of his wise stance on life and people.

Very good post indeed.

ETA: I mean that I do like your synthesis and it is how more of us should think about how we interact on a daily basis... kudos!

I hope your dad is holding up and that you are too!



And say hello to Wavey and thank him for his wisdom for me.

[LaydeeBug]

24. He is still around. His real name is Hugh Romney. He does not hide this. nt

At least I think it's Hugh. It might be another first name.

[MannyGoldstein]

3. This is the best post of the last month.

At least.

Good wishes towards you and your dad! Hopkins is a great hospital.

[LaydeeBug]

6. My Gosh, thank you Manny. nt

[NYC_SKP]

7. Manny told me I had to read this thread, and recommended it.

And so I did, he was right, this needs to be read and the concepts understood and internalized.

Well said, LaydeeBug.

Thanks!

[LaydeeBug]

9. Dear me, I'm blushing. nt

[1StrongBlackMan]

12. Manny "told" you? ...

I guess we can put to bed the speculation that "calls" are put out and groups/"followers" respond. Huh?

[NYC_SKP]

15. Not at all. Manny posted a different OP suggesting people might like this post.

Hang on, I'll find a link. I'm not the only one who would have missed this thread entirely if I hadn't seen Manny's.

Here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024945833

I don't think I've ever gotten a PM from Manny and scarcely interact on the board, but I though he deserved a mention.

[1StrongBlackMan]

30. I was kidding. eom.

[dreamnightwind]

40. Nothing in your post indicated that

[1StrongBlackMan]

41. Well ...

You'll just have to take my word for it; or not.

[pscot]

14. Yes he did

and I'm grateful, because I would have missed it otherwise. A few years back I was where your dad is now, and my daughter fought for me. If she hadn't, I might not be writing this.
Good luck, LadybeeBug, to both you and your dad.

[NBachers]

21. This is the best post of the last month, at least.

God, I hate being harped on and accused of being responsible for someone else's problems.

God, I hate being induced to feel guilty for whatever's wrong in the life of people I've never even met.

I'm tired. I work all day. I live in a tiny studio apartment. I'm 65, and won't retire 'till after I'm 70, if even that. I help people all day long in my job, and I feel good about what I can do to boost someone's day. I'm good at it.

I help people when I'm not at work.

I didn't do whatever to whomever.

I have the "privilege" of not getting caught up in whatever scolding lecture-net is being cast my way.

I have the privilege of doing good things for people from every corner of the earth, every color, every gender. I include everyone I encounter. There's a lot of 'em, every day.

LaydeeBug, thank you for using the word umbrage.

LaydeeBug, thank you for using the word inclusion.

My best wishes, hopes, and intentions for you and your 'breathing on his own' father.

[Autumn]

8. Good post and glad your dad is doing better. Inclusion is good.

Manny suggested a rec, and your OP deserves one.

[LaydeeBug]

10. He was off the vent, back on, and now back off again. He needs therapy

I have to fight for it. I *have* to.

[Autumn]

11. It's a fight worth having.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dad.

[1StrongBlackMan]

13. Good thoughts and positive vibes for your people.

[Fumesucker]

16. K&R

[Dragonfli]

17. The first post I have read here on the subject that I agree completely with

Last edited Tue May 13, 2014, 12:55 AM - Edit history (1)

I have been by the bedside in your position and I know my words can't do much, love is free however and your love will help him as he knows your love is tangible.

I hope it does not offend you but I would like to do a small Wiccan ritual in an attempt to raise and send healing energy his way, it is really just a form of prayer and it is all I can do to try to help.

I hope you don't have to battle insurance or hospital accountants too much as I know from experience how their meddling can be life threatening.

[LaydeeBug]

25. By all means, do your healing ritual...any good vibe is welcome.

I thought Dad's social worker was the social worker for his stay. It turns out, she is the social worker just for the floor he was on when in the NCCU. I did not find this out until he was readmitted to the hospital, and the rehab center that did not render any rehab just sent me a bill for $44,000.00

I have to put that on the back burner and fight for acute rehab again. Dad needs all the help he can get until I can bring him home. I imagine I will need a nurse at first.

He was put on the respirator 'as a precaution'. It came out a day and a half later (earlier today). His breathing is normal, but he has a lot of secretions. But then again, he always has, so his cough is strong, but right now, his swallow is weak.

I need a swallower. I am not sure I could deal with a tube. But then again, I am sure I will if I have to.

And thank you so much for your post. And for thinking of me. And my Dad.

[Dragonfli]

27. I am afraid that since what can be done with social services is very dependent on location

I don't think I could help you navigate it anywhere but here, I have some understanding of the options available in Erie County, but I doubt that will help you much.

I would call Hospice and see what assistance they can offer when you take him home, I was able to obtain a hospice nurse to help take care of my wife while I was at work during her ordeal, the name is scary, but they help with more than just dying, they help people to maintain quality of life as well, so don't let the name dissuade you from seeing if they can help.

I also found that Catholic Charities often have councilors whose specific job is to help one navigate the twists and turns of the system that is designed for the opposite of inclusion, the social services departments are set up more to keep you from obtaining needed help in most places with rules designed to throw you off and deny help whenever possible, you don'y have to be catholic for their councilors to help you, in fact, when they helped me religion was not mentioned at all.

I will raise and send you as much energy as I can, I have already called some people to join in and help and I will set things up for tomorrow, I wish I could do more, but I will do what I can.

[LaydeeBug]

39. Thank you very much Dragonfli

I can't tell you what your positive vibes mean to me.

[rhett o rick]

18. k&r thanks for posting. nm

[MrMickeysMom]

19. You're right, LB...

It's good to be reminded of it, too.

[BainsBane]

20. Inclusion requires respect

and that means listening to people's concerns, not expecting them to submerge them for those of the dominant group. If we (I'm guessing that includes you from your post) don't experience racism, why is it our business to tell people of color how they should think or talk about it?

[LaydeeBug]

26. I am a minority, thankyouverymuch, and I repeat: the answer is inclusion. nt

[Fumesucker]

28. Go look at the religion forum

Today the religious posters are in favor of restricting freedom of religion and the (despised minority) atheists are in favor of expanding it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1218130270

This place just cracks me right the hell up sometimes, that meta argument thread the other day was one of the funniest things I've read in years.

[LadyHawkAZ]

22. Adding the K to my R

[AverageJoe90]

29. Good post. =)

Also, I sincerely hope that your dad gets better soon.

[MannyGoldstein]

31. Kicking. nt

[JustAnotherGen]

32. My sympathies to you and your family

[LaydeeBug]

42. Thanks, but he isn't dead...

at least not yet. I am still reeling from all of this. But they are worried about his lungs for sure.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

33. Maybe a better word is advantage

Privilege suggests things were handed to you. I know very few people who that applies to.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

34. Oh and my sympathies for your father.

Both my parents have passed on, my mother 3 years ago.

[Eleanors38]

35. Good luck to your Dad. Great message, and it's true.

Now, I'm ready to face the day!

[lumberjack_jeff]

36. Absolutely, fully agree.

I think there's a valid use for the concept of privilege; it's difficult to recognize injustice without acknowledging privilege.

That said, "check your privilege" has become and end rather than a means. Because it's proven difficult to remedy racial injustice by improving the lives of those affected by it, the crusaders have pivoted to the idea that a viable alternative is afflicting (a highly selective subset of) those who don't experience this injustice.

I work with people with intellectual disabilities daily, I'm very clear about the nature of my privilege in that regard. I am both thankful for it, and have become something of an evangelist about recognizing the disadvantage and injustice caused by the lack of it. It's not my fault for being neurotypical, nor is it something I have to apologize for. It's in no one's benefit to bludgeon me about my privilege because I already get it, and in fact most of us do, to varying degrees.

I think that recognizing injustice creates awareness of privilege, but not the reverse. Did "Eat your broccoli, did you know that there are starving kids in China" (or India or Sudan, depending on your age) cause you to sympathize with those kids? Did it make you crave broccoli?

Inclusion is the cure to injustice and marginalization, and that includes embracing and creating allies from privileged groups.

[Damansarajaya]

37. Exactly! The "old" New Left preached unity . . .

not identity politics. It all fell apart when divisions set in.

[G_j]

38. +1000