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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsHilarious, sad: Dear Soldier: We Need Some Information In Case You’re Captured
from Doctor Z at Wonkette:
Dear Soldier: We Need Some Information In Case Youre Captured
Thank you for your willingness to be sent wherever it is were sending our military forces, for whatever reason were sending you there. Your willingness to give your all for your country or, lets be real, for your comrades, or just not to look chicken in front of them is greatly appreciated.
However, it has come to our attention that, should you fall into enemy hands, new circumstances dictate that your country may not want to actually bring you back. The standard has changed from Leave no comrade behind to Leave no suitably telegenic comrade behind. To help us decide whether you are fit to be rescued, or even searched for, we need to gather certain information to help us determine whether you are worth bothering with.
1) Do you love America enough? Please explain any doubts you may have about the perfection of our way of life, our economic system, and core American values, as you understand them. Please note that a record of your statements on this form will be kept throughout your term of service, and should you be captured, statements on this form will be compared to any subsequent expressions of patriotism you may make in emails or phone calls to your family, remarks you may make to other members of the armed forces, or things that a guy heard another guy say about what they thought you were like; any discrepancies may be deemed reason to leave you behind.
2) Do you believe in The Mission? We actually dont care whether you believe in the mission youre assigned to do. Youre a soldier/airman/seaman/Marine, and you do what youre told. However, to assist in determining your worthiness for rescue, please let us know now if you think you might at any point in the future express doubts about the morality of any cause you may be sent to support, or whether you anticipate any experiences while deployed might cause you to see said deployment in a negative light. Again, your answer in the space provided will be checked against future statements you may make.
3) Do you have any family members who might make you or the United States look bad on TV, particularly Fox News . . .?
read the rest: http://wonkette.com/550660/dear-soldier-we-need-some-information-in-case-youre-captured
Conway_Stewart
(10 posts)LOL...Well said!
underpants
(182,879 posts)malsperanza 108p · 31 minutes ago
Deep within the Secret Underground Fox Research Lab, scientists are perfecting a new aerosol spray that will identify which American flag lapel-wearers are good guys and which ones actually hate America.
It comes in Clove, Gardenia Bouquet, and New Car Smell.
SuspectedDemocrat 133p · 31 minutes ago
Maybe we could have a reality show where viewers call in and vote on whether to rescue captured soldiers. Instead of Simon Cowell telling us how bad they suck, it would be the Republican leadership.
riverwalker
(8,694 posts)Republicans have stopped demanding repeal of Obamacare, and are now demanding repeal of "Leave no man behind." That should play well in the elections.
Demeter
(85,373 posts)and we will verify EVERYTHING against your personal NSA surveillance file.
Wounded Bear
(58,709 posts)looks so much like reality.
another_liberal
(8,821 posts)We don't even have to make anything up. McCain's carelessness nearly sank an American aircraft carrier, hitting the switches that dropped a bomb on the flight deck in an incident which cost the lives of over a hundred thirty of his shipmates. I'm sure Graham must have done some fairly stupid stunts in uniform as well?
After all, what's good for the goose . . .
pansypoo53219
(20,996 posts)ThoughtCriminal
(14,049 posts)Does not apply to any actions that were not initiated by a Republican Commander and Chief. If you plan to criticize a Democrat, we want you home so we can have you on "Fox and Friends".