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(77,738 posts) Mon Jul 7, 2014, 09:00 PM Jul 2014

Mandatory Monday Malloy Truthseekers check in!! Strange Bedfellows! & a New Kitteh gif

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Strange Bedfellows
Posted on July 7, 2014 by MalloyProducer • 1 Comment
Boy, there’s no shortage of kooky candidates headed down the pipe for the midterm elections. Somebody forgot to bolt the doors to the asylum.

For example, did you hear the one about the Congressional candidate who thinks global warming is a hoax? I know, you’re probably asking “which one?” but this candidate actually published a video about her wacky anti-science views and also claims that global climate change is the “greatest deception of all mankind.” Wow. Even more deceitful than those Sketchers sneakers that were supposed to give you a fabulous backside? Bigger than Balloon Boy? A greater hoax than Milli Vanilli? The talking snake theory of creation? Trickle Down economics? Greatest deception ever, this must be good.

Lenar Whitney is a congressional contender from Louisiana, and she blames Al Gore and his pointy-headed inconvenient truth nonsense for the mass hysteria about planetary climate change. MSNBC has more:

“A specter is haunting America. It is perhaps the greatest deception in the history of mankind,” Whitney said in the video. She is running for Congress in Louisiana’s 6th Congressional District. “The conspiracy of global warming has had a devastating effect on the American dream,” she added.

Whitney previously called global warming a “hoax” when she announced her candidacy for Congress. Instead of trying to solve problems related to the climate, she says, the country must put resources into settling the country’s $18 trillion in national debt, a problem she calls the “actual apocalyptic event” of modern times.

Whitney mocked Gore’s Inconvenient Truth documentary, which was released almost 10 years ago, saying the Earth “has done nothing but get colder each year since the film’s release.” The movie showcased Gore’s campaign to educate citizens about global warming.

The nation has been punk’d by scientists, well isn’t that awful? All these meteorologists and climatologists and geologists and biologists have banded together to form a a secret group whose sole purpose it to conspire against the citizenry in order to . . . . do what, exactly? What is the hoped for outcome of their evil scheme? Sounds like the plot of a kid’s comic book. Where’s the Justice League when you need them to take down Al Gore and the mad scientists who are trying to destroy the American Dream!?

Ms. Whitney is correct in her assessment of the $18 trillion national debt, that is a nightmare. Remember the Clinton surplus? The Bush Crime Family would have none of that! Not when there were terror wars to fund . . . .but I digress.

Not to be upstaged, GOP wannabe Joni Ernst of Iowa touts a campaign commercial depicting a pig castration as proof that she’s adept at cutting pork. Much like Sarah Palin was adept at decapitating turkeys. We’re wondering how many male voters in Iowa cringed and crossed their legs when that appeared during their 6:00 PM newscasts. Ms. Ernst also has similar plans for the EPA and the Department of Education. Both on her butcher block., as Politifact explains:

“I do believe that we can make the cuts necessary within our federal government,” Ernst said. She called for “closing the doors to the Department of Education at the federal level. And not just because it would save taxpayer dollars, but because I do believe our children are better educated when it’s coming from the state.” While answering the same question that prompted her Education Department response, Ernst also mentioned the EPA. “Let’s shut down the EPA,” she said. Ernst gave the same rationale for this slash in government, saying, “The state knows best how to protect resources.”

Yeah, the Department of Education might turn our smart kids who grow up to be scientists and then band with Al Gore to ruin the American Dream by forcing EPA regulations to perpetrate the global climate change hoax. I sense a pattern here . . . There are plenty of male candidates who are deserving of special observation as well, like Florida’s Jake Rush. He is a devoted father, conservative christian, former police officer, capable lawyer, and possible vampire. Yes, he might just be one of the undead, which would get him Dick Cheney’s endorsement, if nothing else. Vanity Fair has the creepy details:

Rush, who is running for Florida’s 3rd Congressional District as a Republican, has been active in the Mind’s Eye Society, a nationwide organization of live-action role players. It’s not exactly clear if Rush, if elected, would be the first LARPer in Congress, but it’s safe to say he wouldn’t be the only member who has flirted with a soulless lifestyle.

It seems that Rush, a lawyer by day, enjoys wearing costumes and role-playing as Chazz Darling, and Lord Staas van der Winst. Those characters come from a page for the Gainesville, Florida “requiem,” where a certain “J. Rush” is listed as the “recognized kindred of Gainesville.”

Business Insider’s Hunter Walker reports that Rush was also a leader in the Covenant of the Poisoned Absinthe, a group that, according to its Facebook page, engages in “an assortment of games from White Wolf’s selection, including Vampire: The Masquerade, Changeling: The Lost, and Mage: The Awakening.”

Why not? Mitch McConnell has proved than an unblinking zombie can successfully rise to the upper echelon of the GOP, why not a vampire? But did it have to be this guy? Couldn’t Florida deliver that actor from the Twilight movies? Or somebody from HBO’s True Blood? Speaking of zombies, Timothy Ray Murray of Oklahoma has decided the best way to win his election is to simply claim that his opponent is dead. He’s been dead for years, according to Murray, and has been replaced by a body double. Vote for me because the other guy’s a corpse – POOF! end of campaign. Wasn’t that easy? Daily Kos has more:

Timothy Ray Murray believes Rep. Frank Lucas (R-Okla.), his opponent in the congressional Republican primary, was executed three years ago and is being represented by a look-alike. Because he believes Lucas is really dead, Murray said he will challenge the results of Tuesday’s Republican primary, in which Murray received 5.2 percent of the vote. Lucas won the primary with 82.8 percent of the vote.

Timothy Ray Murray is not only convinced his opponent is a body double (or, as he stated elsewhere, a “robot look-alike”), he also feels the need to clarify to the public that he, Murray, is NOT a body double:

In the statement, Murray, who did not respond to an interview request, also reassured voters that he is not a body-double.

“I, Timothy Ray Murray, am a human, born in Oklahoma, and obtained and continue to fully meet the requirements to serve as U.S. Representative when honored to so. I will never use a look alike to replace my (The Office’s) message to you or to anyone else, as both the other Republican Challengers have,” he said.

Rep. Lucas, a 20-year veteran of Congress, responded: “Many things have been said about me, said to me in the course of all my campaigns. This is the first time I’ve ever been accused of being a body double or a robot.”

Murry doesn’t say whether or not a pod from outer space was spotted near Rep. Frank Lucas’ bedroom. Just think, all the time the Birthers wasted on demanding Obama’s birth certificate, they could’ve just saved their energy and claimed he was dead! It couldn’t be that difficult to mock up a death certificate, then BANG! Romney wins by default!

The GOP never fails to entertain, even as they fail to legislate.

-KBM

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