There is nothing about Santorum I find admirable. Having said that, I don't think anybody really knows how they'd respond to the news that the their child is coming into this world with a serious birth defect.
I was born with a cleft palate and cleft lip WAY back when--before genetic testing was available and before ultrasound was commonplace. My parents did everything they could for me, to the point of borrowing money for corrective surgery for me. The financial aspects were a burden for them, but what was more difficult for them, I think, was being a parent to a child that faced that level of medical issues and facing the pain of multiple surgeries. They hurt right along with me. When I went to school and got called a harelip they suffered with me. When I was depressed they endured it too.
When my husband and I dated, I was really up front with him about the fact that I really wasn't sure I wanted to have any kids. I sure as heck did not want to bring a child into this world only to watch them suffer. Ultimately, I went to a geneticist. As he put it, I was older to be having kids, but beyond the "usual" genetic issues that come with advanced maternal age, it was his opinion that our risk of a child having the same issues I do was only slightly elevated beyond normal. His advice was go for it, and if we were worried about it be sure to have amnio done at the earliest possible fetal age--which he expected the docs would suggest anyway given the fact that I was over 35.
With that information, we got married and decided to get pregnant. Knowing that maternal nutrition can play a role in fetal development, I was taking prenatal vitamins before I got pregnant (again--on the advice of the geneticist and the ob-gyn) and I was living as chemical free as possible--exactly like they advise already pregnant women to do. At 16 weeks we had amnio done. I absolutely horrified the doc because I was completely open with him that I had no intention of continuing the pregnancy if the test showed abnormalities. Once he calmed down I explained to him that as a person who has lived with this all my life--and will for the rest of my life--I have an intimate understanding of how it feels and how it impacts on everyone around you. I told him I refuse to bring a child into the world KNOWING it was gonna suffer. His response was equally powerful. He simply asked me if I thought my mother would have made that same decision...
I have a "perfect" daughter. She's a teen with all that comes with it, but there is not a day that goes by that I fail to celebrate her. I still view her as a complete gift to us and to the rest of the world--just as most parents view their kids. Had that test come back with an issue I would not have ever known her. I still feel that I could not birth a child knowing that it was gonna suffer, but I have to admit that it would have been a horrible thing to face and a horrible thing to live with.
I feel for that family and that little girl.
Laura
= new reply since forum marked as read
OLITICS
