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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forumswoman given probation after beating son
I have no reason to post this other than I need to rant.
A woman I know, though not in any kind of social way, beat her son so badly the 11 year old boy went to the local community center, that works with the police, to report his mom. She not only beat him with a belt for not folding his clothes properly, she left for an hour then came back and beat him some more with her hands.
The child had 27 welts and bruises on his body when he walked into the center the next day. He said his mother had beat him before but never that badly.
How brave a child must be to walk in, all alone, and report being abused my his mother, his only caretaker. How desperate he must have been knowing he may end up in foster care.
After pleading guilty to assault, she was sentenced to probation as well as anger management classes and alcohol/drug evaluation.
One would hope to see regret, some semblance of understanding as to what she did. At least some words of love for her son.
Instead, her Facebook profile shows nothing like that.
There are multiple posts about racism, about being a strong black woman, about standing up for what is right.
She posts "To the family members that are ashamed of me..it's cool. .I'm used to u being lame..ijs..and to the fam that supports me..love you bunches!!"
It has a gofundme link for people to help her pay for her legal fees and household expenses while she is out of a job. Not a word about "family," "son," "child. "
She posts, in response to a Facebook challenge, three things that are important to her every day. She says "this will be easy. " I think to myself, here's where she will talk about the love for her son. But she says, "1. Friends that stepped up for me in my dire need. 2. I am grateful for the little things we take for granted each day. Freedom of speech and action. We can do whatever we want. 3. I am grateful for my family that stood by and continue to stand by me. Love you. It's amazing how controversy pulls u together and makes u realize whats important. "
The only mention of her son is when posting to find a cookout for her and her son to be invited. In that thread she tells someone she never lost her son, which is not true.
I don't begrudge someone trying to get help when down. I don't believe for a minute she should be on Facebook baring her soul and begging forgiveness. But it isn't like she didn't mention anything about it. To plead guilty to assault, to ask for monetary help publicly and repeatedly, to admonish family and friends for not supporting her, to preach about being a strong person, to speak your mind and do the right thing, with absolutely NOTHING about this poor child she beat so badly, angers me to no end.
My fear is that the beating that was so bad as to cause a child to seek help from strangers, from authorities, will continue. And maybe the next time he will not be able to seek help because it will be too late.
kcr
(15,320 posts)The most horrific abuse stories will contain comment after comment about how the parents were only doing their job and they got the same thing and they're fine. Until the US joins more civilized countries and stops seeing children as chattle it won't get much better. Many states consider a belt fine and won't do a thing about it. The fact she got probation is more than some parents get.
marym625
(17,997 posts)At least we aren't quite as bad as 50 years ago.
Some of the comments on the news articles were EXACTLY what you stated.
Thanks for your input
AverageJoe90
(10,745 posts)There is much more public awareness than there was 50, 40, or even 30 years ago. We have indeed come a long way, haven't we?
marym625
(17,997 posts)NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)A woman started to wail on her 7 year old (guesstimate) boy for what I couldn't tell. I was ten feet away from her and jumped in her face, pulled her hands off the child and held her away from her child and said, "you hit him, I hit you". It scared the shit out of the woman and she hit the floor. I let go immediately and she grabbed her kid and ran. My manager was called by another associate. I was told to go to the office where they had gotten the video from store security. The store manager said he had to write me up although he agreed with what I did.
I'm sure some here will say I was wrong and needed to go to jail for stepping in for the little kid that was a third of her size. I'm 6'6'' and towered over her like she towered over her kid.
Once also when I was in highschool, I was at my girlfriend's house when her drunk stepdad came home and started yelling at her and her mom. He picked up a baseball bat and pushed her mom to the ground and started waving the bat around. I took the bat off him and hit him in the knees and sent him out of the room.
Like I said, I don't do well around abuse. I was never abused myself, but I cannot stand when big pick on the small.
marym625
(17,997 posts)You did the right thing. No doubt without that fear, just words, it wouldn't have made a difference.
I once followed a woman that was beating her son. Started in a restaurant and I called the police. They came after she left. I told them where she was and went with. I l told the cops what I saw, as did everyone else in the restaurant. I went to the police station when I saw they left the store she had gone into. I was told that they talked to the boy and he was ok. That he didn't have bruises. It was winter in Chicago and the kid had a thick parka on.
I went ballistic on the cops. What did they expect the kid, also about 7, to say with his mom there? I finally got them to write a complaint. I followed up with them and children services. Turns out that was far from the first time there was an abuse claim made against her. I don't know what ended up happening but I made sure I called often, even without getting any information, to keep it on their radar.
I will have to say my mom was pretty funny. I was with her and an aunt when this happened. When it started my mom told me to stay out of it, I would only make it worse. Then she couldn't stand it anymore and started yelling at the woman.
AverageJoe90
(10,745 posts)Response to AverageJoe90 (Reply #9)
marym625 This message was self-deleted by its author.
aikoaiko
(34,183 posts)And the justice system is just not set up for that reality.
What a terribly sad reality.
Thank you.
AverageJoe90
(10,745 posts)The sad truth is, too many good people out there, even now, simply have a hard time accepting the reality that, yes, there are a few people who do abuse their children, and that some other families are also dysfunctional in other ways.
I feel that the tides of change are ever eternally turning towards the side of progress, but it will take time. We still have things to do. Let us remain ever vigilant.