White Privilege - the comparative suffering game?....

[HipChick]

Some people are spouting off about the Trayvon Martin murder almost in the same way, as how some men go on and on about what a woman should do or not do with her body, or about how some people go on and on about what a woman was or was not wearing, saying, or drinking when she was raped. Somehow wearing a hoodie made Trayvon more menacing..

Before I continue, you may be asking, “Why don’t you shut up? You’re white.” True, I am white. But I haven’t posted hurtful, inane, and plain stupid remarks about the incident. I also have never said, “Some of my best friends are black” or “Things are so better for them now.” Many white people who feel the need to say they have black friends to prove they really have black acquaintances, I don't know. I also like to ask, “Better than what? Lynching and getting raped and beaten by your master?” Frankly, if you don’t want to read what I’ve got to say because you think a title that states “Shut Up, White People” and then continues on is hypocritical, you can stop now.

This is not to say that there have not been some profound and heartfelt words written by white people in this matter; there have, but they have been few and far between. Unfortunately, much of what I’ve read had disgusted me to the point where I am embarrassed to be white. Similarly, the silence from so many has been disappointing. Perhaps people do not know what to say.

I’ve read the following from white people on Facebook regarding the murder of Traydon Martin:

-Traydon should have known that putting his hoodie up would make him look more threatening.
-Sounds like self-defense to me.
-Traydon attacked Zimmerman and was beating him up.
-Why doesn’t Osama Obama stay out of it?
-Something I cannot remember about the POTUS being a sand “n”-word.
-Why didn’t the POTUS say anything about all the people killed in Chicago?

The problem is, white people cannot help but speak through and from a place of white privilege. For many whites, white privilege is not something they even know they have. (Note: this is where I typically will read these same posters whine about “reverse” discrimination, how their grandparents were discriminated against because they were [fill in the blank], etc. I am not discounting these things may have happened, but I am not in the comparative suffering game. )

When you are white, you don’t have to teach your young son there are certain normal activities he cannot do, like run through someone’s yard chasing down his football or walk into a store with his hands in his pockets. When you are white, your resume does not get tossed into the trash basket because your degree is from Howard University or North Carolina AT&T State University, or because your name is Shamique or Jamal. When you are white, you do not get followed around the Nordstrom’s or the Best Buy because the clerks are certain you are going to walk out with something without paying for it. If you are a white woman over 6’ or a white man over 6’4”, you do not automatically get asked, “ Are You a Baller?”. Stereotypes seem to prevail on all levels.


This is white privilege, my white readers, and no, it’s not your fault you have it, but it IS your fault if you do not start trying to understand the automatic advantages it gives you. “What can I do about it,” you may ask. At least, I hope, if you’ve read this far, you are asking this.

When you see the types of injustices I have just named, speak out! How many times have you been in a restaurant and been waited on before a non-white family when you got there after they did? Did you say anything? Have you ever experienced a hiring manager bypass a resume because the name did not sound white or the person went to a historically black college or university? Did you say anything? What would you do if someone posted any of that garbage on your Facebook page or you read it on someone else’s page? What do you do when people use the “n”-word in front of you? (This is the point where white people often say to me, “But black people listen to music that uses that” or “But they call each other that.” Like my Mom used to say, “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”)

You might also try things like this:

-The next time a big black guy gets in the elevator with you, smile and say hello or Good Morning instead of backing into the corner or staring at the floor.
-Instead of wondering about things like lotion, weaves, the ash, etc., ask those black “friends” you all claim to have..
-Attend a predominantly black church one Sunday. I cannot speak for every single one of them, of course, but I have found most congregations to be friendlier to strangers than most predominantly white congregations I’ve dropped in on.
-Talk to your black friends and acquaintances about the times they have been racially profiled. I guaranteed you will be shocked to know how often and frequently it still goes on.

[quinnox]

1. So to feel better about being a white dude

these are things suggested: I will respond to each suggestion -

-The next time a big black guy gets in the elevator with you, smile and say hello or Good Morning instead of backing into the corner or staring at the floor.
I don't normally talk in elevators, and doubly not to strangers, I don't care what color they happen to be. I'm not comfortable talking to people in this situation.
-Instead of wondering about things like lotion, weaves, the ash, etc., ask those black “friends” you all claim to have..
I don't wonder about these things.
-Attend a predominantly black church one Sunday. I cannot speak for every single one of them, of course, but I have found most congregations to be friendlier to strangers than most predominantly white congregations I’ve dropped in on.
Are you freakin' serious?? I don't attend any church services at all, and find this a strange suggestion with an odd religious tint.
-Talk to your black friends and acquaintances about the times they have been racially profiled. I guaranteed you will be shocked to know how often and frequently it still goes on. I already know this happens a lot, so this is unnecessary.

[FightForChange]

2. You lost me

How are any of your responses even relevant? You just took the suggestions and failed to even look at the core of them. You clearly completely missed the point of this post.

[quinnox]

3. I answered the suggestions made

Those are my true answers to those suggestions. Its relevant to me, but if you don't think its relevant to you that is none of my business. I understand the point of the post, but perhaps I disagree with some of it!? Hopefully that is allowed, jeezus.

[FightForChange]

6. Sorry not trying to offend

I honestly believed that you were posting simply to be hateful on the post. I completely respect your opinion, it's just as important as anybody else's. Just trying to get the point through. Sorry if I pissed you off. Peace.

[Warpy]

4. I see white privilege all the time

All I have to do is walk up to a deli counter. When the worker comes out of the back room, s/he always approaches me first.

When I'm polite enough to say other people were there before me, the shock on the faces of the people of color who are also waiting tells me how prevalent this stuff is.

And yes, I'm polite, no matter how bad my back hurts, I'm just not in enough of a rush to be rude.

[HipChick]

5. I saw it driving with a friend

I admit, I had had more than a few drinks..I should not have been at the wheel of the car,and my friend insisted on driving,I felt buzzed but ok, so I drove....Out of nowhere, a police car pulled up, lights flashing and stopped us....I would have prob blown enough to get a DUI...they completely ignored me, and zero'd in on my friend in the passenger seat who happened to be black. He was hauled out of the car, hands spread eagle while they searched and questioned and harassed him. He does not drink, and is a cardiac surgeon..
I was given a warning, and waved away with a suggestion that I stick to my own kind.

[angstlessk]

7. One of the biggest 'white privilege' things is NOT BEING CONSIDERED A MONOLITHIC GROUP

and not having to answer for every white person who commits a heinous crime...when Jeffery Dahlmer, or Ted Bundy committed those horrid crimes, even when McVeigh bombed the Federal Building in Ok, no one grouped all white people and demanded they explain the behavior of those criminals...

[jp11]

8. I've not experienced any of the situations you describe that I should 'speak out'

I have as a hispanic 'white' male just over 6' tall been repeatedly asked if I play basketball, I have as a hispanic male with a last name that is obviously spanish been treated as if I spoke spanish when I don't. And I can't possibly know how many jobs I didn't get because my last name sounds spanish or 'ethnic' to someone.

I know implicitly that none of this compares to the kinds of racist/hateful things that many other people, black, chinese, gay/lesbian, transgender, indian, muslim, women, etc have dealt with but the error is in dismissing 'my' experiences as well as others. It is precisely my experiences coupled with my upbringing and intellect/heart that made me understand what others are/may have had to deal with. It is my experiences, limited as they were, that me seek to understand how others were being treated unfairly and sensitized me to it more than I might have been otherwise.

As someone who has known their own tiny bit of stereotyping and feeling out of place that in no way can contend with the actual and real racism/bigotry/hate that goes on for many more people than myself I don't need tips on not being a bigot or treating people like people over buying into the stereotypes of society/culture that are marketed.

Your post would be better served on FB for those closed minded, small people of 'privilege' that you speak of. I've read some 'stupid' remarks here on 'white privilege' but for the most part what I've seen has been more akin to those saying they know something, not the same or equal but something of what it is to be treated like you weren't 'accepted'. The failure I saw more often that not was in expressing that what they had to put up with didn't compare to decades or hundreds of years of pain.

I fully admit I haven't read all the 'white privilege' threads because I see no point in reading the same thing in several different threads, so maybe I'm wrong maybe most of them have been really stupid and don't get that whatever they may have experienced probably in the vast majority of situations doesn't compare to what most minorities living today have to deal with.

I just know when I see these threads 'attacking' so called 'white privilege' I see people glossing over those who have also had some level of stereotyping/bigotry/etc however small and instead of accepting that other people 'understand' on some small level and letting it go at that it turns into an attack or a comparison of who's suffered more.