Knowing who to ignore...

[Veilex]

Not sure how often this gets discussed, but, in light of expanding my own ignore list recently (Up to a whole 5!), I thought perhaps it might be worth mentioning.

Ignoring individuals can be an effort of protecting one's own sanity... or avoiding personality conflict.
Its a rather powerful tool that may sometimes be undervalued in its potency.

There are times when we either confront or are confronted by those we disagree with. Sometimes this results in healthy debate and discussion. We get chances to explore ideas and possibilities that might not have been considered otherwise.

Then there are those individuals that somehow manage to get under your skin... or who can somehow bring out the worst in you.
Often, these individuals adhere to ideas that seem diametrically opposed to a stance you hold. Sometimes they can even go so far as to incite anger in you.

Disagreement is often the tool that helps keep us honest, but if it exists in a form that drives strong negative emotions, that might be a good time to sever that connection.

I don't like to ignore people...and would like to think having a list with only 5 people on it is perhaps something of an achievement. But at the same time, if it needs to be used, then it needs to be used.

[Fumesucker]

1. My most common reaction is amusement

This place cracks me up on a regular basis and an ignore list would only lessen the hilarity.

[Veilex]

2. Its awesome that you can take it as amusement!

I should probably take a lesson from you.

[malokvale77]

5. I contemplated an ignore list after a month or two on DU...

I soon realized, that I would miss about 70% of the posts here.

Like you, I think the amusement factor alone is well worth the full experience that is DU.

My problem is learning to hold my tongue if i reply or just not reply.

[Fumesucker]

7. It takes a while to learn how to do the dance with the alerters and juries

Here's a brief lesson I umm.. found on that ~other~ forum a while back..

http://discussionist.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=1029

[malokvale77]

10. Ha, isn't that the truth

I signed up over there but realized that I don't have the capacity to tolerate that much bigotry. It is hard enough here on this so called liberal site.

Your posts always seem to come from a life fully lived. I enjoy them.

[Veilex]

16. I tend more toward umbrage than ammusment.

Perhaps its time for a change of world view.

[malokvale77]

19. I have often taken umbrage to posts here

For my own sanity, I have had to flick those posts off like fleas. I couldn't sleep at night otherwise, knowing my fellow humans are so uncaring.

[MannyGoldstein]

6. +1 nt

[cherokeeprogressive]

37. It is oftentimes the most entertaining site on the intertubes.

Whether it's intentional or not is unimportant.

[cwydro]

44. COMPLETELY agree lol.

I laugh hysterically at some of the peeps on here who take themselves just a wee bit too seriously.

Then they get in fights with others who take themselves too seriously, and it's just like watching a mad food fight.

[Veilex]

54. Hmmm

Guilty as charged

[etherealtruth]

3. I am the mother of three ...

I can ignore (on my own) almost any annoying or asinine behavior (no ignore buttons). The truth is a member/ poster that you strongly disagree with/ annoys you on one subject may have a great deal of insight on an other subject. You may find you are in agreement much more than you are not.

There are a very few posters that are simply asses .... just be smug in the knowledge that you are not.

In the end, do what makes your experience at DU work for you ... I don't think there are any rights or wrongs

[Veilex]

13. +1

[Journeyman]

4. Life's too short to tolerate "kiddie scorn". . .

so I use the ignore button liberally.

Mostly its simple stupidity I wish to avoid -- drunken fools, whacked-out conspiracy nuts ("BushCo caused the tsunami"), one-note wonders who post the same drivel over and over. . . Other people may choose what they perceive as the "high road" of tolerance and community, but I've no time for blithering foolishness and no interest in useless poppycock. Some will disagree but I figure they must have a surplus of life.

There are some posters whose every other utterance is imbecilic, and those who delight in being boorish with no regard for raising the level of conversation or thought. These too I choose to ignore. And it's not something I do lightly: before I click, I'm convinced these people have nothing to offer -- no insight, no new perspective, nothing to change either my attitude or thought. And though I perceive I have an open mind, that's no reason to let others use it as a sewer.

I also utilize ignore to remove trolls and other unsavory folk from my experience. Oh, I recognize they may be gone by morning, but how much more pleasant the evening is without them. I've never blocked anyone who intelligently debated me, but I'll not suffer fools gladly or madly.

If it makes people feel better about the DU "family" or some other such fantasy, you can occasionally clear your entire Ignore list. I do. Often, I find many of those I've shut off were soon after tombstoned, so I don't feel I missed anything.

[CJCRANE]

8. Some DUers who used to annoy me...

I now agree with, and vice versa.

I also find that I may disagree with a DUer on one topic but agree with them on another.

And sometimes you can find some middle ground.

[Veilex]

15. Always good when you can reach that middle ground. +1

I try not to use the ignore button except in rare cases. For example... if I feel someone is intentionally stalking my posts for the purpose of antagonizing me, I find that warrants an ignore.

[magical thyme]

9. I put on ignore anybody I consider excessively rude and snarky

Not necessarily toward me, either. It's my new approach.

I used to put people on ignore because they got under my skin. Then for the new year, I took everybody off. And then started putting posters on again, but with a different criteria than before.

If somebody is mean or rude to anybody, for no goddam good reason other than because they can be, I put them on ignore. It's my attempt to create a more civil world for myself. Disagreement and discussion are one thing. Contempt, ridicule, mean-spiritedness are another.

Also, if someone's idea of discussion is posting a photoshop of blond girl crying with caption "Waaah" or something to that effect, they go on ignore. Any stupid photoshops in lieu of discourse tends to go to ignore.

I may be missing a lot, but it's a lot like missing an extra hole in my head.

[jberryhill]

28. did it work?

[magical thyme]

57. the list gets longer, but the discussion gets better

I do have one or two threads where I've missed entire side conversations because a single person was on ignore, but really, in the end, what difference does it make?

So yeah, it's working for me.

[Marrah_G]

11. I think the ignore function is a blessing

When things get to the point of repeated anger, it's better to walk away. The ignore function is just a virtual way of walking away from someone you can't stand.

[B Calm]

12. I rarely put anyone on my ignore list, but when they are just being a pest I ignore them for

a week or two.

[ZombieHorde]

14. I am glad ignore is there for those who need it to be on DU.

No one's posts are so important that they need to be seen by everyone.

I don't use the function, but I still benefit from it. So many people have me on ignore that I almost never have any posts hidden, even though I make some pretty outrageous comments. No one who has me on ignore can alert on my posts or serve on my juries. That is pretty nice.

[Nye Bevan]

17. Never used Ignore and never will.

I like to see what everyone has to say, even the folks who usually disagree with me. And it's quite eye-opening once in a while when I find myself agreeing with someone who I disagree with most of the time.

[hfojvt]

48. I used to be that way

but then I built up a list. Then it went away when we went to DU3, but now I have two on it. Some people will bait you and some will belittle you. In the midst of my third reply to somebody who was doing both, I realized that I was being played, and quit the game. And I can take insults. Obviously I have taken more than a few in my life, but I really don't need it or care for it.

[UTUSN]

18. I've never used the "Ignore" function. I just skip by the Ignores.

"Debate" and "discuss" are useless: Either you know or you don't. You're never going to convince or convert anybody.

From the '70s:

********QUOTE*****

[font size=5]The Gestalt Prayer[/font]
I do my thing and you do your thing.
[FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: yellow"]I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine[/FONT].
You are you, and I am I,
and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

(Fritz Perls, "Gestalt Therapy Verbatim", 1969)

*********QUOTE********

[Le Taz Hot]

20. I have LOTS of people on ignore.

Some people are just too stupid or too much of an asshole to be on my screen and life is too short to spend it dealing with assholes.

[Logical]

22. i'm never let anything on the DU you make me that upset. Nt

[Le Taz Hot]

35. LOL!

Interesting you used the word "upset." The accurate term here would be "annoyed."

[Logical]

36. Life is annoying. Get used to it. But if you feel better avoiding it then good for you. nt

[Le Taz Hot]

39. Why wouldn't one avoid annoying situations/people?

Scenario: You're at a party and an obnoxious drunk sits down next to you and starts slurring and blathering on about who knows what? Do you actually sit there and listen endlessly or do you excuse yourself and go find something else to do? Personally, I choose to do the latter

[Logical]

40. Because here is different......

There are posters who annoy me, but now and then I read something from them that makes me think or exposes me to a view I had not thought of.
I have friends that annoy me at times but I do not stop being friends with them.

Maybe you just get upset/annoyed more than the average person here.

No poster on the DU has ever annoyed me so much as I could not stand reading anything they posted. I can't imagine that happening.

[Le Taz Hot]

41. And I am different from you including the fact

that I don't try to insert a value judgment on you simply because you choose not to ignore anyone, whereas you do. (Ref.: "Maybe you just get upset/annoyed more than the average person here.)

I make no assumptions of you just because you choose not to put people on ignore. Different is just that, there's no value judgment inherent in different.

Beyond that, I don't have to defend why or who I choose to put on ignore.

[Logical]

47. You don't have to defend it. But I can disagree. It is a discussion board. nt

[Logical]

21. I hope I never have to stoop to the level of putting anyone on ignore. Nt

[WhiteAndNerdy]

23. I use the "ignore" feature liberally. (Heh.)

Just as in real life, not everyone is entitled to my time or attention. Online forums in general, not just DU, are a lot more pleasant when you have the option to just not see the posts of those who like to stir up drama, belittle others, or otherwise get on every inch of your nerves.

[Veilex]

25. Indeed.

"Online forums in general, not just DU, are a lot more pleasant when you have the option to just not see the posts of those who like to stir up drama" - This was exactly what motivated the recent addition to my list. The individual in question reveled in drama, and my patience for it ended.

[Major Hogwash]

24. After I joined the Army, I knew I was able to take quite a few smartass jabs here and there.

There is no doubt that the only reason the Drill Sergeants yelled obscenities at us when we were in basic training was to see who would react after they screamed at us and called us names all day long.

But, some people on the internet think they are some special kind of badass motherfuckers.
Those are the ones that wind up bullying other people on forums.
Needless to say, there is no room for bullying someone else around on a liberal forum.
They sure as hell ain't liberals.

[lumberjack_jeff]

26. The only legitimate reason I have found for using it

is that I find I cannot be civil in dialog with the person. It's more a public service to the rest of DU than any particular sanity protection; I'm perfectly capable of going off on them, but a) it's not worth the hides, and b) I have enough respect for bystanders to control myself.

FWIW, I have no one on my list and haven't for years.

[elleng]

27. I agree, like choosing our fights.

I don't officially ignore anyone, but I ACTUALLY ignore some. Helps sanity (such as it is!)

[NaturalHigh]

29. In my time here, I have only had one person on Ignore.

I even cleared out that individual a while back. There are some people, though, to whom I absolutely will not respond under any circumstances.

[Blue_In_AK]

30. I don't have anybody on ignore.

That's not to say that I don't ignore a few.

[NanceGreggs]

31. I've never put anyone on Ignore ...

... but I can understand why some find might find it useful.

What I do find amusing, however, is certain posters who constantly brag that they are not lock-steppers, they want to hear all points of view before making up their minds about something, they are always open to hearing differing opinions, etc. - and then brag about how many people they have on Ignore because they don't agree with their opinions or points of view.

[Scootaloo]

32. My only issue with ignoring...

is that ignoring someone can hide entire sub-threads if they pipe up just once. There can be good, worthy stuff in there, but one chucklehead is preventing me from seeing it, because i decided i didn't like dealing with their chuckle-headeness.

I've put three people on ignore the entire time I've been on DU. Two... eh, no real problems (and they're starting to remind me why I had them there again) but the third... is just such a prolific poster that putting them on ignore is more an act of self-sabotage than actually reading their hateful garbage is.

I'll just hold out and wait for Elad, Skinner, or EarlG to wake up to the problem... or at least lithos, at some point

[Veilex]

50. "There can be good, worthy stuff in there, but one chucklehead is preventing me from seeing it"

This is very true. I figure in my case, I'll probably maintain my existing ignore list long enough for a breather, then then clear it at some point. Thanks for sharing your perspective

[LostInAnomie]

33. Never have and never will put anyone on ignore.

This is a discussion forum. What is the point of intentionally blocking part of the discussion?

[Cha]

34. I agree, Veilex.. Love the Ignore feature.. Mahalo, Skinner, EarlG, and Elad.

I had someone the other week post he was putting me on ignore.. and I thought "great".. but, then later he responds to a post I made so I guess it was an impulse thing to say.. it's not very smart to announce you're putting someone on ignore anyway. Unless you want to make them Happy!

[Veilex]

51. "it's not very smart to announce you're putting someone on ignore" - Probably true...

And its certainly not the high road... and I have to admit, I didn't exactly take the high road with this individual. I suppose some small part of me wanted to be a little immature and make sure the individual knew that I was done with them... at least for a while. Its stupid, but I found some bit of satisfaction in it after all the frustration and drama of dealing with that person.

Did it make them happy? Who knows... for me it wasn't about their happiness but my sanity. In any case, perhaps I'll take the higher road in the future.

[AngryAmish]

38. AngryAmish is always a good person to ignore.

Only person on my ignore list. Can't stand the prick.

[NCTraveler]

42. I have no one one ignore and don't plan on using it.

I do think it is a great feature. I have thought about putting two people on ignore but in the end I would have lost out. One of those people I would never even think about responding to as I have done in the past. They are one of the most prolific posters on this board so every now and then, when they decide to use a half-way reputable source, there is great information that can be found within their ops. Thankfully they seem to have seriously limited their du use over the last two weeks. The second one is also a fairly prolific poster. They post on so many topics and love to fight. The reason they are great for this board overall is that their pet issue is very important and they are probably the most educated on that one certain topic over anyone here. Their knowledge on that one topic is priceless. Then there are those who have me on ignore. Probably helps to keep the peace and is one of the reasons it is a great feature.

[MineralMan]

43. Well, thanks for letting us know.

Some DUers use Ignore; some don't. It's there for those who need it, and doesn't really need discussion, it seems to me. But, you've apparently decided to use it. OK.

[Wounded Bear]

45. My "ignore" list is mental...

I don't think I've actually blacked anybody out completely. I just kind of tune out the chatter.

But then, I don't hang out here all [i[that much.

[LWolf]

46. Ignore everyone who disagrees with you,

and you'll always avoid conflict.

I don't have an ignore list. Generally, I'm able to ignore those who aren't worth my time or effort by not clicking on their posts...or by moving on without comment if I do click.

But then, it's rare that anyone actually gets under my skin.

I define "not worth my time or effort" as someone who isn't in the conversation to actively participate in the give and take, the listening, thinking, and responding necessary to constructive conversation, but to bully. Someone who has plugged ears and a one-note bullhorn.

Generally. There have been exceptions, when I allow my dark side to engage them for purposes of recreation rather than reasoned conversation. But those are rare.

[Veilex]

53. Interesting.

Thanks for sharing

[Corruption Inc]

49. Kitty cats are so purdy to look at!

Why would anyone want to ignore staring at cat pictures?

[arthritisR_US]

52. Sometimes I annoy the crap out of myself

and I don't get the luxury of putting myself on ignore although a wee nap can sometimes help. The patience I have to exercise on myself is the same I use for others. We all have our moments, annoyances are like water off a ducks back

[murielm99]

55. I don't have an ignore list right now.

In the past, I have used it sparingly. Primary season is a circus here!

There is one person here who I am sure is a troll. I know she is a bully. I will not put her on ignore. One of these days, I may find enough evidence to prove what I suspect. I can't do anything if she is on ignore.

[MFrohike]

56. I don't use it

If I get worked up enough to consider using it, I'm clearly taking the internet way too seriously. There's quite enough in life to get me worked up without letting random people on the internet do it.