My Battle Has Been Won (Update Photo Of My Car After Crash)
Last edited Sun Nov 9, 2014, 07:12 PM - Edit history (1)
I have weaned myself off of my pain medication after being on Oxycodone for six years. I feared that I was physically unable to do so since the Hydrocephalus has taken a great toll on my state of mind. Never mind the eleven discs in my spine which have been compromised.
My motivation for doing so was the treatment (really the lack of treatment) I received from my doctor. He used this against me and frankly I got pissed and he awaken the sleeping giant inside of me.
I was not a drug addict, just a person who's spine and brain has let me down. I kept the medication at a manageable level knowing I would never get better and slowly crumble as time went on.
My plan was to keep the pain medication at a low level while I was strong enough to handle my pain, but still be able to be a husband and father for my wife and family. That plan was in jeopardy since there is ongoing witch hunt on those who suffer from chronic pain and the medication they need to survive.
I wanted to stop on my on own accord, not be forced by those who would never know the pain I have had to endure for over twenty years. This was my choice and I would never tell anyone who suffers to not look for any option they can find to get some relief from their pain.
I did suffer some withdrawal. Mostly insomnia, sneezing and night sweats. Otherwise I came through it pretty well. I kept busy here on DU and looked at old photos of better days while listening to the music of my youth.
I still believe that people should never be allowed to just sit and suffer and doctors should not feel pressure from the government to stop treating those who need their help.
I feel very proud of myself even though my pain levels are much higher now. I will deal with it the best way I can for now. Who knows what the future will bring. I guess I am stronger than I thought I was.
Thank you "doctor" I can't wait for my follow up appointment and your next excuse as to why my Hydrocephalus is not under control.
This crash started my back problems many moons ago. I thought it should be included in this post.
http://imgur.com/mMZxFdN
So who got some cheeba for sale??? 
= new reply since forum marked as read
I'm in recovery (six years in AA, 5 1/2 years sober) and I know it's not easy even for those of us who are otherwise healthy. You deserve all the credit in the world... 
if needs them to survive please don't force him to suffer. Just try to be supportive and help him in any way possible. I have had two major surgeries on my lower back and had my neck fused just a couple of years ago it is not fun. I wish you both the best of luck and if you guys need any help I love to be of service.
I'll see if I will go that route. Does Mr. Natural approve? 
and still be an asshole.
Some people are superlative students and lousy practitioners.
Some people are crappy students and great practitioners.
Most fall somewhere between the extremes.
But if somebody is treating you badly, then they definitely need to be replaced.
.... I have run into a couple doctors that I would not consider useful, i.e. they would spend 30 seconds listening to you and jump to a (wrong) diagnosis.
And yes there is little doubt that some of those guys graduated with top grades.
One doctor in particular comes to mind, he had a clinic set up with about 8 rooms. He had his own lab and if you visited him, for ANY reason, you were going to get a uninalysis and CBC done on the spot. Everyone, every visit. Since he had 8 room and he was the only doctor there he did not spend much time with you. A couple of minutes max. I was glad when I realized I needed a new doctor 
after he gave me a ridiculous prescription that only made things worse.
To have a patient like you, taking charge, involved & active in your treatment. I like to remember Drs don't know all, and how could they, it's your body and how could they know what you're going through if you didn't tell them? Dr works for you by the way, not anyone else, they seem to forget its a partnership.
Congratulations for seeing and taking the next step.
You have done something amazing. There are lots of hurdles in that and you got over them. 
I really hope you can find something that will ease your pain.
Now you need a kick ass pain management program and a different doctor...
Good luck!
I wish you many good fortunes in your treatment.
good as of late but I better be careful I might pop a few more discs while patting myself on the back 
fitting post. Thank you mercuryblues, I have learned a great deal from this video and now I even understand why I decided to post such personal things these last few weeks. Stress and Chronic pain walk hand in hand, depression and anger tags along. Thanks again
contribute to each other, making the effect worse than need be. What I have learned from this video and group discussions I attend on stress is you can not avoid stress. You can change how you perceive it. It is easier said than done. We have years of dealing with stress in our own way. We have hardwired our brains to react a certain way. The trick is to recognize the trigger and consciously say to yourself, ok this happened I can let this bother me or I can do xyz.
As an example of one of my triggers. When I am driving somewhere and someone pulls out in front of me and goes way under the speed limit it sets off my learned response of swearing at them, my hands grip the steering wheel tighter, I generally tense up. Don't they know I am late? Why can't they at least go the speed limit? How I deal with it now (most of the time) I leave the house 5 minutes earlier. When it happens I tell myself, hey you have a nice car, relax and enjoy the drive. I have plenty of time to get there, there is no rush. I found now when that happens relaxing is becoming my automatic response.
When anger/stress was my learned response I would get to my destination and say the store was crowded, long lines, having to wait an hour to see the Dr., friends I am meeting up with are late would compound the stress. By the time I would get home I would be wound up tighter than a jack in the box waiting to explode. I did one day. I had a heart attack. Which is why I am learning about stress- Dr's orders. As a result I have less lower back and neck pain, stomach aches and hardly ever get migraines anymore.
I am not good at relaxation techniques-yet. Put on a relaxing CD (I like music of the Scottish Moors) The idea is to get in a comfortable position. Starting with your toes, alternately tighten, stretch and relax your muscles x2. Working your way up your body doing the best you can. Work your way up to your chin, mouth and eyebrows. Where you have the pain, I would suggest just relaxing the area. Imagine you are on a massage table on a deserted beach, with a gentle breeze and the sun warming the area. I am not saying this will take away your pain, but hoping it will take it down 1/2 a degree.
How these techniques have helped me. On a scale of 1 -10, ten being the worst. I now start my day between a 0 and 2. When my stressors occur, I have changed my thinking and I may rise to a 4 by the end of the day. Where I used to start my day at a 4 and be at or near a 10 by bedtime. Which made for a good night's sleep- not. So I would start the next morning with a high stress level. A never ending cycle that fed into each other. I can also distinguish better between real medical issues and pain brought on by stress.
This board shines when we rally around and support each other. You are more than welcome. I hope that this post comes off as I intended-helpful, not as a condescending holier than thou thing. Due to my experiences I have to learn how to handle stress, this is my process. I can not change my heart problems. Heck I can not change some of my risk factors. I can not change genetics, Thanks Mom. I already ate a healthy diet, so all I could do was some tweaking. Even though I am physically fit, I have added an exercise routine. I can change how I perceive and react to stress, my major contributor. I was so stressed out that it was my norm and never realized it. The great thing about advice is we can take what works for us and leave the rest.
I suspect you opened up for the same reason as me being drawn to reply to your post. Talking about our challenges and knowing that we are not alone is a stress reliever in and of itself.
Just 1 question. Other than red, what kind of car is that?
I'm really glad you took the time to reach out to me. I've been struggling alone for a very long time and was nearing the end my rope. I think this was my last try to cope with my struggles and needed to get all out of my system before I popped. I will try to use all of what you have written to me and will seek out some more videos like the one you posted the other day. I wish I could afford counseling but that is not an option right now. Thank you so much your words have not fell on deaf ears.
To answer your question it was a 1975 Camaro with a 350 engine and 400 turbo transmission. I was t-boned by a limo. here's a google link of this car in much better shape
https://www.google.com/search?q=1975+camaro&biw=1280&bih=605&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=uBhiVKTQHrXasASAzYKICg&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#imgdii=_
Thank you once again, words can not express my gratitude.
for your kind words. Just like our body's systems are all intertwined; I believe people are. When I get behind that slowpoke I sometimes say to myself, maybe they are preventing me from a speeding ticket. Perhaps the result of my medical problems is that I am here able to share what I have learned. I wish I could have learned this a decade ago.
Just by talking to you, I have realized how much my siblings took advantage of my stress level. When we would all get together and our kids would start getting a bit too rambunctious (as kids do) they would ask me to quiet them down, knowing that I would take no prisoners. This holiday season, I will just say- eh it ain't bothering me, you take care of it. I will keep saying it to myself so when it does happen, and it will, the noise/running really won't stress me as much and I have already rewired my response to it.
Check locally, perhaps there is a chronic pain support group. Even though things sound like great ideas, they may not work for you. Just like I am having a hard time relaxing my body and mind. I know I will get there and in the meantime what little bit I can accomplish is helpful. I think your goal is to have the least amount of pain as possible, using the least amount of pain meds as possible. Fortunate enough, that I have been learning about one aspect, stress that can manifest into physical pain and ailments. Others here have great ideas to look into. It isn't easy but with a steady effort you will notice changes. If you slide back into the old thinking don't sweat it, take a deep breath, acknowledge, apologize if need be and get back on track.
Instead of thinking of what a burden you might be. Realize you are assigning emotions to someone that may not be there. By doing so you are helping to create an environment where it can become a reality. Instead think, what a blessing you are to your wife and kids. You are able to kiss their scraped knees, help with homework and ease the stress your spouse may be feeling from work, just by listening and engaging. You can help them when need be and the true joy is to watch them take the lessons they have learned and soar on their own. Because you have created an environment where they feel secure to know they have a nest to come home to for guidance.
There were 2 main household chores that I dreaded. Vacuuming and doing laundry. Both because of the stairs. I didn't mind washing, folding or putting clothes away. What I minded was lugging it all up and down the stairs. Moving is not an option. Now I say, I am doing laundry in the morning. Can you (kids or spouse) bring it downstairs for me.. Then have them carry it up when it was done. The same with vacuuming. I didn't mind it, but I hated doing the stairs. Now I vacuum and my youngest's chore is to vacuum the stairs. Both were because of the stress I created for myself I was prone to pulling muscles in my back by carrying heavy stuff up and down the stairs. It has the bonus of the kids learning responsibility and the household happiness is a group effort, not what I can do for you.
