THE ONION: Congressman To Attempt Living Off Military’s Budget For One Month

[kpete]

?6549
Wittman says he can barely cover necessary equipment and ordnance on the Pentagon’s budget, let alone put any money aside for a future ground invasion.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to raise awareness of the financial hardships faced every day by the nation’s defense establishment, Rep. Rob Wittman (R-VA) announced Tuesday that he would attempt to live for a full month on the $640 billion annual budget of the U.S. military.

The congressman said that subsisting on $1.75 billion a day for a mere four weeks “is nothing” compared to what the defense apparatus overseen by the Pentagon must endure year-round, and described the military’s economic plight as a stain on the nation’s conscience.

“Trying to stretch $53 billion to the end of the month won’t be easy, but if it helps bring attention to the routine struggles of a Defense Department on a limited budget, I’m happy to do it,” said Wittman, noting that the U.S. military receives only 37 percent of the world’s defense spending, with the rest all going to foreign countries. “Unfortunately, a lot of folks in Washington don’t realize how dire the situation is. But by living off only what our defense sector receives, I intend to show them just how hard the Pentagon has it.”

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“Perhaps you’re lucky and you’ve never had the experience of waking up terrified you won’t be able to make the monthly payment on your ballistic missile system, but this is something that happens to people every day, right here in the United States of America,” said Wittman, who described the mental exhaustion that comes from having to carefully allocate a finite budget to cover necessary costs ranging from heavyweight torpedoes, to Apache helicopter fuel, to littoral combat ships. “That’s why I’m asking my fellow lawmakers to take the same pledge I have and go 30 days spending no more than the U.S. military does.”

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The Rest:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congressman-to-attempt-living-off-militarys-budget,37367/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Pic:Week1 efault

[smokey nj]

1. This is hilarious. Thanks!

[oberliner]

2. The Onion used to be much funnier than it is now

I think the internet has rendered it somewhat obsolete.
When it was a print paper, it was in a class of its own (fewer articles, better quality).

[F4lconF16]

7. I agree, actually.

I also think it's much harder to write good satire when what you're satirizing keeps outdoing whatever you can think of

[oberliner]

8. Good point

Reality has passed satire by in many respects.

[A Simple Game]

3. My god, I never realized, we must do something immediately! I know let's apply the

Republican solution for everything, let's cut their budget or eliminate the department of defense altogether.

[FailureToCommunicate]

4. I feel deeply moved to help. Where may I send some money?

[Turbineguy]

5. McDonalds should send

their customers to do a few week stint that the Pentagon. They'd be willing to pay $500 for a Big Mac and thinking they got a bargain.

[daleanime]

6. K&R....