The Case That Taught Me Domestic Violence Isn’t What I Thought: Parts 1 & 2 (Abuse trigger)

[Brickbat]

Last edited Thu Jan 15, 2015, 09:16 AM - Edit history (1)

Devastating writing from a lawyer trying to help women get out of abusive marriages. The abuse details are difficult, but more interesting, I think, is the description of how people get stuck in situations that it really does become almost impossible to get out of, and it illustrates well why "just leave" is sometimes an unrealistic option.

http://www.lifeofthelaw.org/the-case-that-taught-me-domestic-violence-wasnt-what-i-thought-part-1/

When I met her, Willa had been married to Anthony for 20 years, since they were 18. They had two children, ages 11 and 17. The stories of the abuse, when she first told them to me, came out easily, as if she’d recalled them a million times, or lived them a million times: He had pushed her out of a moving car once, then backed up to throw her purse out behind her. It landed in a puddle and was soggy for days. He once took off his boot and broke her nose with it at a party in front of their guests. Then he took off his other boot and did it again. He’d escaped from federal prison twice. His brother had served time, too, after together, they threw a Molotov cocktail at a guy who had made them mad. At a gas station.

(snip)

I pressed play. As his voiced filled the room, the court reporter wrote:

Mr. Hinson: Go to Salvation Army and get hand-me-downs, because I’m going to piss all over your fucking clothes, then I’m going to soak them in diesel fuel. Fuck you. Are you enjoying letting everybody listen to your conversation? Do you think you’re a big shot?

Ms. Hinson: No, I’m just doing it so I could play it to the police when I go there now.

Mr. Hinson: Well go down there now and tell them this. Tell them this. Are you there? Are you still there? Yeah, it’s beeping. Tell them I’m going to break your fucking jaw, you fucking cunt, and if they come over to my house, they better bring more than one, because we’ve got a big fucking problem now. You’re dead.

And with that I figured that the trial was over, that the case was won. But I was wrong.

[niyad]

1. I don't think I can read part 2 of this thing. I know it is going to make me angry, and ill.

[Brickbat]

2. I felt the same way when I got to the end.

Pretty sure it will break my heart.

[salin]

3. count me as the third with the same response

... yet my empathy for the wife forces me to read part two.

[Brickbat]

4. Kick.

[Brickbat]

5. Part 2

http://www.lifeofthelaw.org/the-case-that-taught-me-domestic-violence-wasnt-what-i-thought-part-2/

Never having experienced this kind of violence, I viewed it as the worst imaginable thing. But to her, it wasn’t imaginary. It was real, and had been for decades. If, for Willa, being able to pay bills and buy food for her kids rather than losing her income source with no job or income prospects on the horizon mattered more than not getting hit, was that wrong? What made me more right?

[mythology]

6. This was a really powerful article

Thanks for sharing it.

[raccoon]

7. Glad to send this to Greatest! nt

[Brickbat]

8. Kick.