Mandatory Church Attendance

[kpete]

& btw:
:large

[NightWatcher]

1. Ok, let's all show up at Sen. Allen's church this Sunday

I'll be in a dirty Hooters shirt that I save for yardwork, way too short shorts, flip flops, and a week of facial hair growth, stoned, playing on my iPhone.

Do you think the State Senator wants me next to her in her house of worship?

Amen Sister, when's the wine and crackers.

[Bettie]

4. Mow the lawn first, so you're nice and sweaty too.

And then sit real close. Share her hymnal too.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[hifiguy]

2. I will be heading for The Church of the Latter-Day Dude.

Dudeism is a philosophy and lifestyle inspired by the protagonist of the Coen Brothers' 1998 film The Big Lebowski. Dudeism's stated primary objective is to promote a modern form of Chinese Taoism, outlined in Tao Te Ching by Laozi (6th century BC), blended with concepts by the Ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus (341-270 BC), and presented in a style as personified by the character of Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski, a fictional character portrayed by Jeff Bridges in the film.[1] Dudeism has sometimes been regarded as a mock religion,[2][3] though its founder and many adherents regard it seriously.[4][5][6][7] March 6 is the annual sacred high holy day of Dudeism: The Day of the Dude.[8]

The Dudeist belief system is essentially a modernized form of Taoism stripped of all of its metaphysical and medical doctrines. Dudeism advocates and encourages the practice of "going with the flow", "being cool headed", and "taking it easy" in the face of unavoidable trouble or annoyances, for this is the only way to live in harmony with our inner nature and the challenges of interacting with other people. It also aims to assuage feelings of inadequacy that arise in societies which place a heavy emphasis on achievement and personal fortune. Consequently, simple everyday pleasures like bathing, bowling, and hanging out with friends are seen as far preferable to the accumulation of wealth and the spending of money as a means to achieve happiness and spiritual fulfillment.[15]

www.dudeism.com

[sarge43]

6. You forgot to mention the occasional acid flashbacks. nt

[Liberalynn]

11. I will be attending the Church of K9

after all dog is God spelled backwards.

[Gothmog]

3. These are great

[Blue_In_AK]

5. I mandatorily attended church the entire time I lived at home with my parents

until I was 19 and moved out. I don't think they can tell me anything I don't already know.

[OldRedneck]

7. If we MUST attend church, this is my choice:

[niyad]

16. that is certainly one good choice.

[LiberalArkie]

8. I need to find the local "Church of the Almighty Dollar"

[WinkyDink]

9. I believe you'll find it on Main Street.

[Initech]

12. Every church is the "Church of the Almighty Dollar".

To quote George Carlin - "God is all knowing, all powerful, but he just can't handle money!"

[dembotoz]

10. so the return on the blue laws

have to close all the stores and the restaurants so folks can go to church

[Agschmid]

13. Been to Jersey lately?

[rpannier]

14. Manbdatory Church

Welcome to the 17th Century and before.
Maybe they can hang witches now too.

[gollygee]

15. .

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2015/03/first-church-of-cannabis-takes-advantage-of-indianas-new-religious-freedom-law/

[muriel_volestrangler]

17. Amazingly, the 'guns' ref in the 1st toon is revelant; they were debating guns in public buildings

Sen. Sylvia Allen, R-Snowflake, on Wednesday explained – but would not apologize – for a comment made Tuesday during a committee hearing saying Arizona should pass a law that people should have to go to church.

The original comment occurred during a vote on legislation to allow individuals who have permits to carry concealed weapons to bring them into public buildings. Allen said she did not understand the opposition and talked about moral breakdown.

“Probably we should be debating a bill requiring every American to attend a church of their choice on Sunday to see if we can get back to having a moral rebirth,” adding “that would never be allowed.”
...
“I remember on Sundays the stores were closed,” Allen said. “The biggest thing is religion was kicked out of our public places, out of our schools.”

http://azcapitoltimes.com/news/2015/03/26/nostalgia-but-no-apologies-senator-sylvia-allen-explains-church-law-comment/

And, thankfully, the bill to allow guns in all public buildings was defeated - but only just:

On a 15-14 vote the Senate voted this afternoon killed House-passed legislation that would allow those with state-issued permits to carry concealed weapons to ignore “no guns” signs that government agencies can post. With three Republicans and all Democrats in opposition, the chances of resurrecting this in the last days of the session are slim.

http://azcapitoltimes.com/news/2015/03/30/guns-in-public-buildings-bill-defeated-in-senate/