Breaking News: Texas Halts Plans To Secede From America

[kpete]

:large

[raccoon]

1. You mean, they'd ask "big gubmint" for a handout? :sarcasm: nt

[SCantiGOP]

29. Oh No!

This might flood all of the secret FEMA tunnels under the WalMarts and foil Obama's plans to take over Texas.

[hobbit709]

2. Haven't even seceded yet and are demanding "foreign aid".

[valerief]

24. Bwahahaha!

[rock]

3. Are you sure that we can't get them to reconsider?

[onehandle]

4. Sorry, you had your chance.

Please turn in your infrastructure immediately

[liberal N proud]

5. Funny how that works.

[leftofcool]

6. Too late. Go away!

[cherokeeprogressive]

7. Man, I'm glad only republicans had their lives turned upside down or ended because of this.

If there were any Democrats harmed, I'd feel for them.

Good thing no Democrats live in Texas, Huh?

[LondonReign2]

11. It is not mocking individuals harmed in the flooding

it is mocking the hypocritical, wholly-owned Republican Texas Government. Which is eminently mockable.

[cherokeeprogressive]

38. Oh, I'm sorry. I was unaware that Texas govt. was actively pursuing secession.

In that case, mock 'em all.

[LibertyLover]

40. It wasn't formally the Texas government but

there was a petition on the White House page to let Texas secede that got more that 25,000 signatures. The White House had said it would respond to any petition that got more that 25,000 signatures within 30 days. I know this article is from Fox, but it does sum up the situation well:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/14/white-house-responds-to-secession-petition-says-texas-doesnt-have-right-to/

That was a few years ago. There may be another push on now that I'm not aware of.

[cherokeeprogressive]

41. Like I said... in that case, fuck everyone in Texas. They earned it.

[LondonReign2]

42. It is certainly the attitude

“You know, my hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We’ve got a great union. There is absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what may come out of that?” – Gov. Rick Perry

"When we came into the nation in 1845, we were a republic. We were a stand-alone nation. And one of the deals was, we can leave any time we want. … So we're kind of thinking about that again." – Gov. Rick Perry

But you are intent on confusing the mocking of the Republican mindset of hating government until they need it with mocking of people in need and nothing we say is going to change that. Carry on.

[Skittles]

43. SCHEDULING CHEROKEEPROGRESSIVE FOR ASS KICKING

*EGREGIOUS*

it's a common meme among these fucking idiot Texan conservatives - until they need help, of course, which is OFTEN:

http://www.occupydemocrats.com/watch-hypocrite-ted-cruz-begs-for-federal-relief-money-for-houston-flooding/

[cordelia]

37. This

[mahatmakanejeeves]

8. Not until everyone is forced to have a gay marriage. NT

[phantom power]

9. I admit I was expecting they'd just post a GoFundMe page

Apparently, it's the conservatives' answer to budgeting.

[Shadowflash]

21. Yup.

As they are so fond of telling everybody else, they just need to hold a couple of spaghetti dinners at local churches and a bake sale or two. That should cover it.

[erronis]

23. Probably could make a few bucks by raffling 55gal drums of storm water.

Probably will be able to use them (the 55gals of H2O) pretty soon when the drought comes on back.

I bet there's a passage or two in the bibble about feast and famine.

[Plucketeer]

34. I don't know about GoFundMe or spaghetti dinners...

but I DAMNED SURE wanna hear where they're gonna trim the budget to pay for the relief efforts!!! NO money for Texas until we rearrange the cash drawer so we don't go broke!!!

[Coventina]

10. How long before they blame this on Jade Helm?

Or are they willing to admit that Obama's evil powers don't extend to the weather?

[Ed Suspicious]

14. The most powerful ineffective president of all time!!!!!

[Coventina]

17. LOL!

[Moostache]

15. You didn't know?

The flood was PLANNED as part of the Jade Helm take over of Texas...right now, at this exact moment, 100's of Constitution supporting, gun loving, law abiding Christian Texans are being herded into flooded abandoned Wal-Marts and drowned for fun by the socialist anti-colonial dark man.

(I'm pretty sure that doesn't need a "sarcasm" icon...but if you think its meant on the level, call 1-888-555-HELP!)

[Coventina]

19. And LOL!

[AtomicKitten]

12. The paperwork has already been processed. Next.

[UTUSN]

13. R#12 & K for, bwah-ha-HAH!1 Because foreign aid might take too long!1 n/t

[NightWatcher]

16. Silly bastards, Obama controls the weather...this is part of Jade Helm

They're falling for it by inviting the National Guard in....it's like vampires if you invite them in....

[GoneFishin]

18. Let for-profit corporations pay for it all. Because "government can't do anything right", and

"let the free market take care of it" and "freedom!".

[SoapBox]

20. And the for-profit churches.

With their tax breaks, they can afford it!

[SCVDem]

22. Think of all the guns.

Will the NRA send first responders to save them?

[valerief]

26. THAT tickled me!!!! Bwahahahaha!

[PatrickforO]

25. Anti government until they need government.

The hypocrisy of the right wing knows no bounds.

[valerief]

28. If they can cherry-pick their bible, they can cherry-pick their government pleas. nt

[mountain grammy]

27. I'm sure the "free market" approach will fix everything.

After all, we pretty much can quit blaming climate change for drought, because, rain! No mention that none of this is "normal." These are the kinds of weather disasters that will become common. All weather is now the result of man made global warming. Some will benefit, but most will not.

See, Texas, lots of water for fracking, so it's all good. God's hand in the Bible belt!

[swilton]

30. Aw Shucks!

[Cryptoad]

31. Does this mean that,,,

the invasion is on delay too?

[Gothmog]

32. Great Meme

[thesquanderer]

33. I think God caused the flood to punish Texas for not accepting gay marriage. (n/t)

[project_bluebook]

35. BIG GOVMENT

Damned Communists!

[Sheepshank]

36. Since they already take in more Federal Funds than they are paying.....

...it would seem they are not quite ready to create their own immediately to be bankrupt nation.

[lonestarnot]

39. Doesn't bushitler and the lorrie live over there? Is he eat'n cake and strumming on anything?

His behavior is pretty predictable. He'll have lots of shrubs to ax down.