Campaign Consultant Presents Scott Walker Several Human Sides To Choose From
URBANDALE, IA—Saying it was important that the candidate have a distinctive, relatable look, campaign consultant Brian Sims reportedly presented Republican presidential hopeful Scott Walker with several possible human sides to choose from Wednesday. During the strategy session at Walker’s Iowa campaign headquarters, the Wisconsin governor reportedly tried on an assortment of potential humanizing identities, from several “salt-of-the-earth family man” personas to a more daring “independent-minded maverick” option, in an effort to find a well-fitting human side that the candidate could put on for the remainder of his campaign.
“Why don’t you give this ‘up-from-the-bottom Midwesterner who values hard work above all else’ personality a shot and see how that feels,” said Sims, who encouraged Walker to carefully consider all his options before selecting one of the identities, noting how important it was to find one that was not only attractive, but also durable enough to hold up to everyday wear for the next eight to 16 months. “Remember, you’re going to be putting this on every single time you walk out the door. The last thing you want is to get onstage in a persona you don’t feel comfortable in.”
“We can always make some small alterations to the bravado or compassion here and there if that feels a little better to you,” Sims added. “Don’t forget, this is the first thing people will see, so let’s make sure it’s just right.”
During the session, Sims reportedly helped Walker into several variations of “the straight shooter who can’t help but say what’s on his mind,” as well as a number of “moralistic man of faith” picks, providing frank feedback to the candidate on how each looked. At one point, sources said, Sims discarded a more colorful “quick-witted charmer” persona immediately after realizing it was a terrible fit on the 47-year-old governor.
According to reports, Walker began to grow tired and irritated by mid-afternoon after trying on several dozen identities and finding nothing that “really popped.” However, sources indicated that Sims was able to bring the session back on track by reminding the high-ranking candidate that it would be a disaster if he went out there as he was without any humanizing facade at all.
http://www.theonion.com/article/campaign-consultant-presents-scott-walker-several--50951
The Onion nails it again
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