Republicans Will Save America By Outlawing Liberal Philosophers
I Think Therefore I Am Unemployed
Republicans Will Save America By Outlawing Liberal Philosophers
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The faculty of the Philosophy Department at the University of Woolamaloo were sorely disappointed by the debate
Marco Rubio got one of the strangest applause lines of Tuesday’s GOP debate when he explained that our institutions of higher learning are wasting too much time teaching frou-frou topics like philosophy that Real Americans simply don’t care about. You see, like all of the other candidates, Rubio is against raising the minimum wage, which is a terrible idea, because for one thing, did you know his father was a bartender? (This is one of two parental facts we will remember forever from this year’s debates: Rubio and Graham, sons of bartenders; Kasich, son of a mailman. We’ll be unbeatable at bar trivia.) Also, if you raise the minimum wage, then the Metal Men will surely replace us:
If I thought that raising the minimum wage was the best way to help people increase their pay, I would be all for it, but it isn’t. In the 20th (figures he doesn't even know the correct century) century, it’s a disaster. If you raise the minimum wage, you’re going to make people more expensive than a machine. And that means all this automation that’s replacing jobs and people right now is only going to be accelerated.
It’s actually the 21st century, but the debate was on Fox Business, which never updated its name. Not an error, but a very subtle pander, there. Then Rubio laid out his vision for a better, more prosperous working class:
Here’s the best way to raise wages. Make America the best place in the world to start a business or expand an existing business, tax reform and regulatory reform, bring our debt under control, fully utilize our energy resources so we can reinvigorate manufacturing, repeal and replace Obamacare, and make higher education faster and easier to access, especially vocational training. For the life of me, I don’t know why we have stigmatized vocational education. Welders make more money than philosophers. We need more welders and less philosophers.
HUGE applause. Apparently, Rubio touched a deep-seated Republican disdain for all those worthless philosophers who’ve been clogging up the homeless shelters and going around forcing the Socratic Method on unwilling bystanders. Yr Dok Zoom is also reminded of his evil adopted brother, who had nothing but contempt for “intellectual bums” — that would be me — who just sat around reading all summer when there was yard work to be done.
We could also point out that while Rubio said nice things about vocational education, Democrats have actually been trying to increase it; it’s a central focus of Barack Obama’s proposal to ensure that all American students get at least two years of community college, for instance. Funny, Republicans suddenly stopped cheering vocational education.
. . .
In conclusion, we think there should be more songs about philosophy, like the Bruces’ Philosophers Song. G’day!
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed: a lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed.
Read more at http://wonkette.com/595839/republicans-will-save-america-by-outlawing-liberal-philosophers#qGB5iAHqcvQPFCqB.99
= new reply since forum marked as read
Some snippets.
On consciousness:
Hope DUers will enjoy. Plus, he looks just like Santa Claus.
The phenomological side is not one Hitch and Dawkins address - I've read and very much liked both of the books you mentioned - and I am keen to read a top-notch mind's analysis of that aspect of this curious and insanely destructive aspect of human nature.
(the subject line is a M. Python reference. Jebus, why do I feel the need to actally explain that? Shit's getting bad around here)
