This day could have been chronicled in The Onion: first I went to my urologist for a post-op...
So he more or less likes what he 'sees', (rhymes with pees), and tells me that for a young guy I did OK and what was my secret of maintaining good humor since most 'younger' guys who have my 'problem' are bitter and angry and such. I told him that every time he was examining me or that I would have to perform my 4X/daily catheterization for three frigging months, or go for one of my surgeries or outpatient procedures with the urologist or the nephrologist, I would think of one particular joke and it would make me laugh every time. Of course, he asked what joke it was, and of course, I was happy to tell him:
There's a man walking between the 70th floor of the Chrysler building and the 70th Floor of the Empire State Building on a tightrope, OK? At the exact same time, half a world away in Australia, there's a man receiving oral sex from a 97 year old woman. They both have the exact same thought at the exact same time. What's that thought?
"Don't look down."
So he laughed and I went to work, at which time I was bombarded by lunacy the likes of which I haven't experienced in a long time. And that was just the Staff. The patients were 'even woise'. Then I see that Mr. Edwards (rightfully IMO) beat that specious case against him (for now at least) and even Tweety got it right, IMHO, that the Rethug prosecutor, a holdover from Bush II, went on to win the Rethug primary down there. So it seems that Mr Edwards has learned, and some of the rest of us hopefully have learned, that one must stay away from these sticky, sociopathic individuals who, on the one hand, are charismatic and yes, sexy (think Glenn Close in the movie) but OTOH are dangerous barracudas. We encounter them in all walks of life and are often taken in by them, to our detriment. Edwards should have known better than to get involved, no question.
And then, on edit, I watched a drunken ex-pResident on TeeVee with his peculiar wife.
So then I meet with this guy to set up, perhaps, a new credit card vendor, and he goes thru all these machinations about how he will save me 5 cents here and 12 cents there...and at the end, he gives me this pad upon which to sign an electronic signature. So halfway thru the first signature I ask, "What am I signing?" so he shows me this document and I see a $200.00 setup charge which he hadn't mentioned to me. He quickly stated that he was going to waive the charge. I calmly, for a change, said to him, "You know what, I want to waive ALL the charges and I want you to sign something which I'm going to write that I won't be charged for setup, for batches for the first six months, and for per-transaction fees (which are in addition to the percentage taken by the company on each M/C or Visa or Amex or Discover). so he was so shaken that he actually agreed which REALLY pissed me off because I've been paying these for 30+ years for no apparent reason, other than I didn't ask. BTW, we as merchants pay more when a customer/patient uses the Rewards Cards...so guess who's paying for that Macy's Gift Card or that trip to San diego? the merchant...who raises prices/fees accordingly over the years of high credit/debit card fees...for me, over 800 dollars monthly for the simple RIGHT to take credit cards rather than checks or cash, yes I pay almost ten grand a year in fees. If you add the ridiculous interest which these companies charge, there's no wonder that they are the richest people in the Known Universe.
So then I decided to write a post on my favorite website...
= new reply since forum marked as read
HAPPY to hear your joke! 
AND helps us 'consumers' to hear about actual nuts and bolts of 'vendors.'
Thanks
your special lady 
To be accepted with Gratitude & Good Humor.
