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Ladies and gentlemen, everything is fine. That bump you just felt was an iceberg...
... but I assure you, this ship is sound. Yes, there's been a few leaks and someone has apparently fallen overboard but we're fine... everything is fine. You're hearing some reports that things are not going well, some bad hombres are making fake stories about what's happening... and what's happening is this. Obama and Hilary... and if that ain't bad enough for the Democrats... HILARY AND OBAMA... what do you think about that? Who you calling a racist? What? Who said that? This is not water surrounding us... Listen folks, why are you so hostile... if this ship were sinking and I'm not saying it is but if it were only your love can make it float again... where's you love? Glub Glub... Fuck you traitor.
