Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-17: The Worst Day Since Yesterday Edition

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Last edited Wed Mar 22, 2017, 02:05 PM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-17: The Worst Day Since Yesterday Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! For more information, consult your doctor and please see our ad in Golf Digest Magazine! We are back everybody! You know… you know… do we really need “perfect bracket” contests anymore? And what’s the point? There’s people out there who calculate your odds of actually getting all 64 teams correctly at “next to impossible” and “infinity times a billion”. Yes, we’re bringing kindergarten logic to the March Madness tournament. Even the odds makers in fucking Vegas know your odds of getting a perfect bracket are next to nothing. Shit, even President Obama (see what I did there?) has ZERO chance of getting a perfect bracket! And perhaps my favorite thing about the March Madness tournament is that ESPN always manages to find that one person in all of America that has that magic perfect bracket up until the moment it busts. Yes, they do this every year. You always see that story – “tracking the last perfect bracket in America!”. And I’m sure even his has gone bust by now. I mean come on! Who’s bracket had last year’s champion Villanova to go all the way? Or maybe you had Duke picked to win the whole tournament? Well the answer to that is “nope” and “nope”. Or maybe your team is still in it like Kentucky or UCLA. That will be a crazy game, am I right? So let me check out my bracket… fuck it, I’m already out! Damn you Middle Tennessee! 2nd year in a row!!!!! And what happens if you actually get a perfect bracket? What happens if you get a Triple Crown? Well we already found out one. You just get a nice trophy and a pat on the back. The horse gets laid by all the best horses in the world, and the owners get a nice fat paycheck. Do the same rules apply if you get a perfect bracket? I want to know! All right, that’s enough of the intro. But first John Oliver is back, and he destroys Trump’s insane budget plan!

So where do we begin this week? Donald Trump is going to take up the first 3 slots this week. In the first slot we’re going to talk about how he’s been threatening nuclear war with North Korea. Did we say nuclear? We meant clear war! Yeah that’s it! Taking the second slot, we’re going to be delving into some failed adventures in diplomacy starring of course, our 45th president, Donald J. Trump (2). In the third slot, we’re going to talk about what the FBI hearings and what easily has to be Donald Trump’s worst day since yesterday. In the fourth slot, is Ann Coulter (4). So did you know that the Russian hockey team in the 1980 “Miracle On Ice” was all murdered? Neither did we! At number 5, is part time White Goodman stand in Paul Ryan. Easily the most punchable face of the US Congress has a very dark and disturbing past we feel you should be made aware of. And it gets even more disturbing than that! In the number 6 slot, is Sean Hannity (6). He is really proving himself to be the king of the deplorables, and he has come out strong and bringing the batshit crazy extra hard this week. Taking the seventh slot, we’re going to talk about Donald Trump supporters (7) who got screwed and conned into voting for the man and it turns out that he’s a big fat liar. At number 8, we’ve got another edition of “How Is This Still A Thing?” for you . This time we’re going to ask “The Flat Earth Society – how is this still a thing?” At number 9 (NEIN!!!!), we’re going to bring back the Trump effect. Specifically there was a story out of JFK (that’s in New York, don’t you know?) where a man got indicted for harassing and assaulting a Muslim Delta employee, while a man in New York got busted for attacking two trans women. Finally this week we’re hitting the final matchup of round 1 of our Stupidest State Contest. But don’t be sad! There is plenty of tournament to go around! This time it’s going to be a fun one as we’re delving into Chris Christie’s New Jersey against Sam Brownback’s Kansas. Plus this time we have some live music for you, this time from Germany’s Milky Chance. They have a great new album out called “Blossoms” and they’re going to be stopping by to play something from it! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


[font size="8"]Donald Trump [/font]


So we start this week with President Donald Trump. Something that will never sound right no matter which way you look at it. Like “turn left on the red light”, or Ryan Adams singing a cover of Rick Ross’ “New Bugatti”. I’ll just let you contemplate that image for a minute. It’s what we do! But anyways, Mr. Trump this week may have threatened North Korea with the possibility of a nuclear war. Let’s roll the tape first and then let’s discuss.

Now let’s not forget what he said at this time last year when asked about the assassination of North Korean leader and guy who looks like a rejected Harry Potter character, Kim Jong Un:

So what would a Trump war with North Korea look like? Well let’s look at this story and contemplate for a minute that this guy is our president. This guy has the power to declare war.

Should Americans be more concerned about North Korea?

President Trump told reporters Sunday that North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un was "acting very, very badly" hours after the rogue state test-fired a new type of high-thrust rocket engine.

The president made the remark on board Air Force One as he prepared to return to Washington from a weekend at his Florida resort, Mar-a-Lago. Trump said he had "meetings on North Korea," but did not specify with whom or what was discussed.

"I will tell you he is acting very badly," Trump repeated before departing the press cabin.

In a statement issued Sunday, North Korea claimed the test was a success, with Kim calling it "a great event of historic significance" for the country's indigenous rocket industry, a report from the official Korean Central News Agency said.
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/03/19/trump-says-north-korea-dictator-is-acting-very-very-badly.html

Holy shit! He literally described the behavior of third world dictator Kim Jong Un’s behavior the same way two valley girls described their drunken prom experience! “Sally drank too much of the Pinot Grigio and passed out in the limo after the dance, that was behaving very, very badly!”. This is presidents behaving very very badly! And you don’t want presidents behaving very very badly, because these people have the power to declare war. And if war is declared on North Korea, we all lose. I mean seriously Trump’s vocabulary is so limited that he talks like a valley girl! And here’s how badly Trump’s diplomacy is going if this possible war scenario is to be believed:

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said Friday that “all options are on the table” to deter the threat from Pyongyang. What does that really mean? Is the use of military force really an option?

How to interpret that depends on who you are. Is that comment just a part of a continuing pattern of the U.S. response to escalation of both North Korea’s capability and rhetoric for the past two administrations?

What usually follows now is North Korea will conduct another ballistic missile test, or even a nuclear test — either way, we can expect a response from Kim Jong-un to these remarks by Secretary Tillerson. Countries in the region will respond and have — the Japanese are taking about developing first strike weapons; South Korea is pushing the U.S. to return tactical nuclear weapons to their military capability; the Chinese hold a key leverage with their economic lifeline to the regime, all in spite of UN sanctions.
http://thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/foreign-policy/324527-what-would-war-with-north-korea-really-look-like-trump

Holy fuck!!!! Now where have I heard those words “all options are on the table” before?

Yeah that sounds about right! It must be standard operating procedure for all world leaders to say “all options are on the table” at this point if any serious diplomatic endeavor fails. And this one well, may have actually failed. Which literally means all options are on the table! And if you live on the west coast like I do, or know anyone who lives on the west coast, this should scare the living shit out of you!

The statement said: “The Korean People’s Army will reduce the bases of aggression and provocation to ashes with its invincible Hwasong rockets tipped with nuclear warheads and reliably defend the security of the country and its people’s happiness in case the US and the South Korean puppet forces fire even a single bullet at the territory of the DPRK.”

The menacing talk came as South Korea warned that its northern neighbour’s latest rocket-engine test showed “meaningful” progress.

The North’s KCNA news agency said on Sunday the engine would help the country achieve world-class satellite-launch capability – indicating a new type of rocket engine for an intercontinental ballistic missile.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3131278/kim-jong-un-nuclear-weapons-donald-trump-north-korea/

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]


You know there’s only 10 slots in these things, and we have to limit it to 10 each week. That’s why it’s called the Top 10 Conservative Idiots, not the top 12 or top 13. So we have to limit these to 10. Because I’d love to talk about the disaster that is the Trump budget, and I would also like to talk about his failed adventures in diplomacy. I’d also love to talk about his misadventures and secret golfing at Mar-A-Lago over the weekend. And I’d love to talk about Rachel Maddow’s tax flub. But we have to adhere to a strict 10 entries per week, and these things have a shelf life, damn it! We live in a world where facts don’t matter and batshit crazy stuff happens on an almost minute by minute basis. It’s impossible to keep up! But we have to talk about his cast of characters. And we’ve met a lot of the strange sketch comedy characters that make up the Trump administration. Like Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer. White House Barbie doll Kellyanne Conway. Or part time Hannibal Lecter stand in Stephen Miller, who occasionally reminds Trump that he forgot to put the lotion in the basket. Or guy that would sell out his own grandma to make a few extra bucks, Stephen Mnuchin. But there’s one we haven’t introduced you to yet, and that’s Mick Mulvaney.

WASHINGTON ― White House Budget Director Mick Mulvaney threw cold water on the promise that “everybody” would get health insurance under GOP legislation ― a promise that was made by none other than President Donald Trump himself.

“We don’t have universal ― the only way to have universal care, if you stop to think about it, is to force people to buy it under penalty of law,” Mulvaney said Sunday on ABC’s “This Week.”

The expectation of everyone in the nation getting health insurance if Trump took office came from promises he himself made.

“We’re going to have insurance for everybody,” Trump said in January. “There was a philosophy in some circles that if you can’t pay for it, you don’t get it. That’s not going to happen with us.” In 2015, Trump similarly told CBS’s “60 Minutes,” “Everybody’s got to be covered.”

Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/white-house-admits-trump-insurance-for-everybody-guarantee-isnt-going-to-happen/ar-BByo3Nf

And another Trump campaign promise……………… gone!!!! Outta here!!!! And speaking of things failing, did you know that Trump dropped a whopping 220 spots on Forbes’ annual list of people who have more money than you?

President Donald Trump is the nation's first billionaire president -- but he's not as rich as he used to be, according to the Forbes 2017 Billionaires List published Monday.

The magazine put his net worth at $3.5 billion, down $1 billion from the rankings it issued a year ago.

As a result, his position on the Forbes' ranking dropped 220 spots, leaving him tied with 19 others as the 544th richest person in the world.

Forbes said that much of the decline in Trump's net worth is due to softness in the midtown Manhattan real estate market.

Read more: http://money.cnn.com/2017/03/20/news/companies/trump-forbes-net-worth/index.html

Ooh I like that one! But one of the things we have to talk about is Trump’s strange and bizarre meeting with the German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Which, by the way he previously said this about her just a mere two years ago (which seems like 20 years in internet times, am I right?) :



Ooooooooooooooooh, Donald do you take cold showers in the morning? Because that is about as cold and mean spirited as it gets. And this isn’t the first time he attacked Merkel either. Just remember - this guy is the president. This guy is dictating diplomatic poilcy. This guy gets to decide who the allies are to the United States. Which right now, is pretty much Russia and Trump International Brands. And by the way lets’ show that image of their meeting, shall we?



Those two just look like they want to be in the same room, don’t they? But oh no! After the meeting Trump took to his usual punching bag the “FAKE NEWS” media.

President Trump on Saturday followed up what he called a "great" meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel by blasting her country for what he said were unpaid bills for NATO defense.
On Twitter, Trump reiterated a point he made at his joint news conference Friday with Merkel that many NATO nations owe money to the alliance and the U.S. because they haven't paid their fair share.
This time, he chastised Germany for not paying enough "for the powerful, and very expensive, defense" NATO and the U.S. provide.
http://www.latimes.com/politics/washington/la-na-essential-washington-updates-trump-says-merkel-meeting-was-great-1489845711-htmlstory.html

Can we throw those tweets up there?

Link to tweet

Link to tweet

“It’s fake news, OK?”. Sheesh, could the guy be any more predictable? But even people who are supposedly on his side are turning against him because of his buffoonery… and that includes people like Morning Joe:

President Donald Trump earned widespread derision for his botched meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel last week, especially after the president lashed out at a German reporter for supposedly spouting “fake news” at the two leaders’ joint press conference.

Via Mediaite, the panel at Morning Joe on Monday hammered Trump for his handling of the meeting, as co-host Joe Scarborough described it as “spectacularly clumsy, short-sighted, some might even say stupid.”

Co-host Mike Brzezinski helpfully chimed in to say that Trump’s performance during the joint press conference — and in particular, his refusal to shake Merkel’s hand during a photo op — was “buffoon-like.”

Washington Post columnist David Ignatius didn’t go that far, but he did agree with the Morning Joe hosts that Trump did not handle his first face-to-face meeting with Merkel well.

more
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/morning-joe-panel-crushes-buffoon-like-trump-for-botched-meeting-with-angela-merkel/

And once again Trump fails to understand things that make the world work. You know, like diplomacy, and not pissing off your allies. I mean he’s just enacting Hitler’s wet dream here – the demise of NATO, and even he’s wrong on that:

On the heels of a visibly awkward visit from German chancellor Angela Merkel, Donald Trump said on Saturday that Germany owed “vast sums of money” to Nato and the US, even though the alliance does not stipulate payments to America.

His remarks prompted a former US permanent representative to Nato to reply “that’s not how Nato works”, and to add that increased European spending on defense was not a “favor (or payment) to the US”.

Trump, who was at his Mar-a-Lago estate for the weekend and spending the morning at Trump International Golf Course, sent two tweets early in the day. The first denounced “the FAKE NEWS” for what he said was mistaken coverage of a “GREAT” meeting with Merkel.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/thats-not-how-it-works-trumps-grasp-of-nato-questioned-after-merkel-tweets/ar-BBylgoJ?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=edgsp

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]


We need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that please?

Yeah I love me some Flogging Molly. I saw them on St. Patrick’s Day, that is how you celebrate that holiday! We’ll have to get them on the show after their new album comes out in June. But seriously, the reason I bring that song up is that we have to talk about what was easily Donald Trump’s worst day since yesterday. And that’s saying a lot because in the Trump administration, every day it seems is the worst day since yesterday. In fact according to one scholar, some “treason may be in the air”. Um… define the word “some” here!

Monday’s House Intelligence Committee hearing with FBI Director James Comey is still causing shock waves throughout the political world, and historian Douglas Brinkley believes that it’s an unprecedented moment in American politics.

Speaking with the Washington Post, Brinkley said he could not ever recall a time when a senior federal law enforcement official publicly confirmed a major criminal investigation into the campaign of a sitting president.

“There’s a smell of treason in the air,” Brinkley said. “Imagine if J. Edgar Hoover or any other FBI director would have testified against a sitting president? It would have been a mind-boggling event.”

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/theres-a-smell-of-treason-in-the-air-historian-douglas-brinkley-analyzes-mind-boggling-comey-hearing/

So let’s walk through what happened, shall we? This is like peeling an onion – the more layers you peel off of this act of treason, the smellier it gets, and the more you are likely to cry as a result:

On Monday, FBI director James Comey testified before the House Intelligence Committee. In the widely anticipated hearing, the head of the FBI confirmed the existence of an FBI investigation into Russias role in the election.

As you know it is our practice not to confirm the existence of ongoing investigations. In unusual circumstances, that might be appropriate, Comey said. He then noted that these are unusual circumstances.

I have been authorized by the Department of Justice to disclose that the FBI is investigating the Russian governments interference in the US elections, Comey said.

Earlier in the morning, Donald Trump took to Twitter to make his case.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/comey-confirms-trump-campaigns-ties-to-russia-are-being-investigated-and-if-possible-prosecuted/

Swing and a miss strike one! So Trump is up to bat again, he’s taking time to scratch his armpit and belches, but here’s the pitch… And…

FBI Director James Comey confirmed to the House Intelligence Committee Monday morning that his agency was conducting an investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election, including allegations that members of Donald Trump's presidential campaign were in contact with the Russian government during the campaign.

"As you know, our practice is not to confirm existence of ongoing investigations, especially those investigations that involve classified matters," Comey told the committee. "But in unusual circumstances where it is in the public interest, it may be appropriate to do so, as Justice Department policy has recognized. This is one of those circumstances."

"I've been authorized by the Department of Justice to confirm that the FBI as part of our counterintelligence mission is investigating the Russian government's efforts to interfere in the 2016 presidential election," he continued. "That includes investigating the nature of any links between individuals associated with the Trump campaign and the Russian government, and whether there was any coordination between the campaign and Russia's efforts."

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/comey-confirms-trump-russia-investigation

Swing and a miss! Strike two! What else could Trump be hiding? This might be ball one, we’re not sure:

FBI Director James B. Comey acknowledged on Monday the existence of a counterintelligence investigation into the Russian governments efforts to interfere in the 2016 election, and said that probe extends to the nature of any links between Trump campaign associates and the Russian government.

Testifying before the House Intelligence Committee, Comey said the investigation is also exploring whether there was any coordination between the campaign and the Kremlin.

The acknowledgment was an unusual move, given that the FBIs practice is not to confirm the existence of ongoing investigations. But in unusual circumstances, where it is in the public interest, Comey said, it may be appropriate to do so.

Comey said he had been authorized by the Justice Department to confirm the wide-ranging probes existence.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/fbi-director-to-testify-on-russian-interference-in-the-presidential-election/2017/03/20/cdea86ca-0ce2-11e7-9d5a-a83e627dc120_story.html?pushid58cfeb5c3a93043c0000001a&tidnotifi_push_breaking-news&utm_term.6078f47fa5d2

Yup! Ball one! And then there’s another pitch – ball two. So with a 3 and 2 count here’s the payoff pitch:

Turns out there was a wiretap at Trump Tower after all — just not the way President Trump has said.

The FBI had a court-sanctioned warrant for two years to monitor a Russian crime organization working out of a unit three floors below President Trump’s penthouse, according to an ABC News report.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/fbi-wiretapped-russian-gambling-ring-headquarted-trump-tower-article-1.3004226

STRIKE 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE OUTTA HERE!!!!



And the reviews are in on the hearing. The critics agree – it’s easily Donald Trump’s Worst Day Since Yesterday!

People can spin it all they want. People can pretend to be lawyers and argue about “lawyerly answers.” People can shout about leaks all the want. It’s not going to matter. Today was not a good day for President Trump no matter what comes of the Gorsuch hearings.

There were two major questions at stake today, and the answers to both steamroll President Trump’s rantings and ravings about them on Twitter and in public.

The first issue deals with the FBI, and whether or not they’re investigating Russian influence on the 2016 election including links to the Trump campaign and if those links included any criminal activity. President Trump tweeted this morning.
http://www.redstate.com/jaycaruso/2017/03/20/james-comey-testimony-was-a-disaster-for-donald-trump/

[font size="8"]Ann Coulter[/font]

That was the hockey game that will forever live in infamy during the 1980 winter Olympics between the US team and the Russian team. It’s been portrayed in countless movies, documentaries, sports shows and comedies. One of the more popular flicks was the Disney 2004 reimagining of the epic game starring Kurt Russell called “Miracle”. So you may be asking yourself “What happened to the players after this game?”. Well I answer you good sir / madam, with Ann Coulter’s batshit crazy and flat out absurd retelling of what happened exactly to that team:

They say Putin is a "thug" and a "bully" who kills journalists. Liberals never used to mind Russian leaders killing journalists. Nor millions of scientists, writers, Christians, Jews, kulaks, Ukrainians and the entire 1980 Soviet Olympic hockey team.

Have you guys heard of the Evil Empire? Now Democrats are hypersensitive to a Russian leader's flaws?

Liberals were cool with the show trials, the alliance with Hitler, the gulags, the forced starvations, the shooting down of American planes and goose-stepping through Eastern Europe.

But that was when the Russian leader was Joseph Stalin or Nikita Khrushchev -- not the beast Putin!
http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2017-03-15.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! You know what Ann? I think you need a refresher course in modern history. It wasn’t the “liberals” who were cool with this stuff. It was conservative American businessmen who helped install Hitler in office and helped funnel the rise of the Nazi party, and contributed heavily to advance Hitler’s agenda. I mean really, Ann? You think we’re OK with mass murder and Hitler? You think we’re cool with gulags and forced starvations? Hell no! Where on earth would anybody think that is OK? Um, nobody ever in the history of mankind! I have two words for you: fuck you! Wait, that felt good. Let me say that again: fuck you! And by the way in case you’re wondering what actually happened to the “Miracle On Ice” team, I give you this:

CLEVELAND, Ohio - Members of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team recently gathered to celebrate the 35th anniversary of their glorious victory over the Soviets in Lake Placid, New York.

It is one of the great sports upsets of all time: a ragtag group of Americans, mostly college students, beat the powerful Soviets, full-time players who dominated Olympic hockey for decades.

The footnote is that America beat Finland a few days later to win the gold medal. But it was that "Miracle on Ice" 4-3 upset on Feb. 22, 1980, that lives on forever in Al Michaels' call for ABC ("Do you believe in miracles? Yes!&quot , books, TV specials and the 2004 movie "Miracle," with Kurt Russell as U.S. coach Herb Brooks.

The story is exceedingly well-documented except for one thing: Whatever happened to the Soviet team? Were they all shipped off to Siberia for daring to disgrace the motherland by losing to a bunch of cocky capitalists?

Gabe Polsky has some answers. "Red Army," his enlightening and entertaining documentary about that Soviet team, traces the post-war political and social structure that made international athletics a top priority in the old U.S.S.R.

From Stalin to Khrushchev to Brezhnev, the hockey team became a national symbol of strength. It was run by the military with security handled by the KGB. Training was arduous, with the team members sequestered 11 months of the year. When they traveled to Western countries for games, the chief concern was whether players would defect.
http://www.cleveland.com/moviebuff/index.ssf/2015/03/red_army_what_happened_to_the.html

Hmm…. Let’s think about this here for a minute – how could you possibly have a 35th reunion of both teams at the same stadium if one of those entire teams were murdered at the hands of the Soviet empire? Let’s think about this one for a minute, here, Ann!




[font size="8"]Paul Ryan[/font]


You know why is it whenever I see Paul Ryan, I can’t help but think of the opening to one of my favorite comedies of all time, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story:

&t=1s

At Globo Gym we’re better than you! So what was the Speaker Of The House and part time White Goodman impersonator up to this week? Why a whole steaming shit load of things. And it has to be a steaming shit load, am I right? Well let’s start with this disturbing revelation from Mr. Ryan’s college years. I mean seriously this is fucking disturbing on multiple levels!

Speaking to National Review editor Rich Lowry at an event hosted by the conservative magazine, House Speaker Paul Ryan made the case for the American Health Care Act by presenting it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cut Medicaid spending.

“We’ve been dreaming of this since I’ve been around,” Ryan says, before interrupting himself to clarify exactly how big of an opportunity this is, “since you and I were drinking out of kegs.”
http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/3/17/14960358/paul-ryan-medicaid-keg

No seriously. If you masturbate while you’re reading Atlas Shrugged, these are the kinds of fantasies you get. And if we extrapolate this, this means that Paul Ryan graduated from drinking out of kegs (did he drink straight from the tap?) to drinking the tears of poor people in high ball glasses! I mean come on if you’re going to drink the tears of poor people anyways, you got to class it up a bit! Just as a way to say fuck you. Add a little salt in the wound. I mean come on, if you’re a rich guy, and you’re going to say fuck you to poor people, go all the way, damn it! Shit, when I’m getting shitfaced, the last thing I think about is what I’m going to be doing 30 years from now! But I can guarantee that I am not thinking about fucking over poor people! But what else has Mr. Ryan done this week? He’s playing the “move along, nothing to see here” card in regards to Trump’s insane health care proposal:

House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) on Wednesday said he’s “not that concerned” about criticism of the wealthy getting a tax cut under the GOP’s new health care bill.

Fox News host Tucker Carlson told Ryan it’s “kind of a hard sell” to argue the wealthy should get a tax cut under the American Health Care Act. Ryan brushed it off.

“I’m not that concerned about it, because we said we were going to repeal all the Obamacare taxes,” Ryan said. “This is one of the Obamacare taxes.”

Ryan also argued that getting rid of those taxes would help with the GOP’s tax reform efforts later this year.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paul-ryan-tax-cut_us_58c1632be4b0ed71826a773d?

And you know there ain’t no party like a Paul Ryan party because a Paul Ryan party stops at 11:00PM, with no after party! You non-tax paying leeches know where to stick it! No after parties for you! And yes there is tape of this!

But here’s probably the most interesting thing about Paul Ryan that was out this week – his closed-meeting denial of everything having to do with Donald Trump that was taking place behind closed doors during the Trump campaign.

Conservative website Breitbart continued their war on House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI), releasing audio taken just prior to the election saying he had no interest in sticking up for Donald Trump.

Bretbart.com has long been known for attacking Ryan on orders from chairman Steve Bannon, with the current senior adviser to Trump once telling his staffers Paul Ryan is the enemy.

Monday evening, as Ryan was fending off a CBO report stating his health care plan would leave an additional 14 million Americans without health insurance in 2018, the website chose to create friction between the House Speaker and President Trump.

In the audio taken during a private October conference call with House Republican members, Ryan has few kind words for then-GOP presidential nominee Trump.

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/i-wont-defend-trump-not-now-not-in-the-future-paul-ryan-caught-on-tape-trashing-trump-before-election/

[font size="8"]Sean Hannity[/font]


So King Deplorable, Sean Hannity has been in the news an awful lot this week. And he really is the king of the deplorables and he doesn’t even need a Jethro Tull song for that! “I walk through the valley to get to the castle, where I lay sitting at the feet of the king of the deplorables! For I am not worthy to stare at his throne! He’s the king of the deplorables!” Thank you! That is my Jethro Tull impression. I need some more pan flutes and guitars for that one. Well, so what was the King Of The Deplorables up to this week?

The Wall Street Journal columnist who called Hannity the "dumbest anchor" on Fox News is a "jackass," according to Hannity. The forensic psychologist who suggested a blood vessel had popped inside Hannity's brain is a "jackass." Even the conservative MSNBC host who sometimes criticizes President Donald Trump is a "jackass."

If you criticize Hannity, or the Trump administration, there is a fair chance he will call you a "jackass" on Twitter. The chances of being called a "jackass" by Hannity are significantly higher late at night. Of the 21 people Hannity called a "jackass" in the last year, nearly half were told off between 9 p.m and 2 a.m.

Hannity, Trump's biggest backer on television, has said this is entertainment for him: "I am a counterpuncher," he told one Twitter user who asked why he was so antagonistic. "I do not start fights but I finish them. This is pure entertainment for me. If people take cheap shots I hit back."

Still, Hannity's version of entertainment can go too far. Last year, after ending one of his many spirited on-air arguments with liberal contributor Juan Williams, Hannity pulled out a gun and pointed it directly at Williams, according to three sources with knowledge of the incident. He even turned on the laser sight, causing a red dot to bob around on Williams' body. (Hannity was just showing off, the sources said, but the unforeseen off-camera antic clearly disturbed Williams and others on set.)
http://money.cnn.com/2017/03/16/media/sean-hannity-juan-williams-gun/index.html

Dude, did he just go full Jules Winnfield on Juan Williams? You know what’s a guy doing in journalism who hates journalists? What are people doing in government who hate government? That would be like me showing up at a Justin Beiber concert. And I hate Justin Beiber! Oh and like the good Trump supporter is, Hannity rejected the story as “fake news”. Gee, what a shocker!

Sean Hannity and Juan Williams are rejecting the context of a CNN report saying the Fox News host "once pulled a gun" on his colleague and pointed it at him while the two were off-camera.

“While discussing the issue of firearms, I showed my good friend Juan Williams my unloaded firearm in a professional and safe manner for educational purposes only," Hannity said in a statement to the Los Angeles Times.

"Every precautionary procedure that I have been trained in since the age of 11 was followed. I’ve had a conceal carry permit in five states for all of my adult life. Any other interpretation of this is outright false reporting.”
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-entertainment-news-updates-march-sean-hannity-juan-williams-reject-1489763895-htmlstory.html

Ooh, I like that one! Well as if Hannity couldn’t be more despicable, he is actually suggesting that the Hawaiian judge who lifted Trump’s travel ban did “a little blow”

In this case, Hannity suggested that U.S. District Court of Hawaii Judge Derrick Watson decided to block President Donald Trump’s revised travel ban because Watson graduated Harvard Law School a year before Barack Hussein Obama (as Hannity was once fond of calling him).

But that’s not all. Because they share an alma mater, Hannity suggests that Obama and Watson were smoking weed and snorting blow together. Hannity, who recently has taken to peddling Deep State conspiracies and pushing WikiLeaks agendas, wondered aloud if Watson was a part of Obama’s storied “Choom Gang,” a group of friends in Hawaii who would hang out and smoke together, saying:

By the way, this judge who issued the travel ban ruling is an Obama law school classmate. Maybe he should have recused himself from the case. Just a maybe. Were they best friends in Hawaii, were they part of the Choom Gang, smoking pot and hanging out and doing a little bit of weed and maybe even a little blow?
https://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2017/03/sean-hannity-suggests-travel-ban-judge-from-hawaii.html

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?2,file=247048,filename=3qwyep.jpg


[font size="8"]Donald Trump Supporters[/font]


So by now you know what a danger the GOP’s proposed “Trumpcare” bill is. And stories like this definitely aren’t helping. I mean Trump is a guy who lies on an almost hourly basis. So you see a story like this about how Trump lied and manipulated people over the big lie that ACA isn’t Obamacare. It is! It is literally the exact same thing! Republicans made up the term “Obamacare” as a way to discredit Obama and the ACA – which is yet another thing the GOP created! Yet you still see stories of people being manipulated by Trump over this shit!

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution profiled many rural Georgians who stand to lose if the president signs Trumpcare.

Kenneth Peek, a Georgia farmer, who is now on Obamacare, thought Trump would get things “straightened out.” However, he’s now understanding things might get worse. Under the proposed law, thousands of rural Georgians, who voted overwhelmingly for Trump, stand to lose their health insurance or their hospitals and, for many, their costs will increase.

Peek currently pays $281 a month for his Obamacare policy, which is $3,372 a year. He gets $11,172 in government tax credits, while his wife is on disability. Under Trumpcare his tax credit would drop 64 percent to $7,172 and there’s no real way of knowing how insurance companies will drop premiums or continue the upward climb. While Obamacare gave subsidies based on need, Trumpcare will give tax credits based on age. So, a 50-year-old CEO who makes $850,000 each year would get the same amount as a 50-year-old teacher who makes $35,000 each year.

During the 2016 campaign, however, Trump promised voters “good coverage at much less cost” and “a much better health care plan for much less money.” This week, Trump was singing a different tune.
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/rural-georgia-trump-voters-railed-against-obamacare-but-just-realized-trumpcare-will-be-worse/

But this wasn’t the only story like this this week. There were lots and lots of them. So much that we cannot contain them all in this one segment. In fact, what about one of Donald Trump’s biggest supporters – the gun industry? I mean after the NRA aired attack ads against Hillary Clinton left and right, would you be surprised to learn that Trump has also thrown *THEM* under the bus?

The gun industry and NRA are quickly learning that they should have been careful what they wished for:

Unfortunately, Trump’s win has had the unintended consequence of throwing the firearms industry into a deep slump, forcing major companies to lay off workers, driving prices deep into the red, and forcing some gun dealers out of business. While the Obama years might have been a dark time for gun rights, the Democrat president was a boon for gun retailers and manufacturers (a fact Obama has admitted himself). Each time the needle ticked further in the direction of gun restriction, Americans flocked to their local gun store and plunked down cash for more irons.

The industry swelled because of the “panic buying,” with new manufacturers popping up, old names in the industry swelling their ranks, and more new gun owners pushing into demographics with previously tepid interest.

In the Trump era, however, that fear is gone, and with it the market’s urgency to beat the clock on the next “commonsense” gun ban. That’s helped nudge iconic gunmakers Colt and Remington to lay off hundreds of workers and shut down entire divisions of their companies, forced manufacturers to close their doors, and prompted retailers and distributors to offer deep discounts on firearms, with one offering an AR-15 rifle at prices below even the cheapest handguns.

“The combination of increased inventory in the channel and a likely decrease in consumer demand for the near term has made for a more challenging sell-through environment,” said a top executive with gunmaker Ruger during a February 23 investor call.
http://thefederalist.com/2017/03/17/donald-trump-shot-gun-industry-gut/?ref=yfp

But they wont care. All that matters is that the Trump administration has the Magic R next to their name, and they could get away with murder and robbing them stupid, but never mind! They’ll continue to vote for them because the evil liberals want to take their guns away!!! You know – it’s kind of like playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there’s just one degree, and the liberals are coming to take your guns away. My this coffee is good! Oh my god it’s a false flag to make liberals take your guns away! Hey Suzie that’s a nice dress you’re wearing. Oh wait, it’s evil and the liberals want to take your guns away! This is fun! I mean we live in a country now where this happens:

Link to tweet

You know if I walk into a store and I see two guys posing with giant assault rifles, guess what? I’m immediately walking out of that store!



I’m getting off topic here. What else were Trump supporters up to last week? You know who Trump’s biggest supporters really are? Why it’s the billionaires, of course! And some very reclusive and secretive ones.

When President Donald Trump toured a Boeing aircraft plant in North Charleston, South Carolina, he saw a familiar face in the crowd that greeted him: Patrick Caddell, a former Democratic political operative and pollster who, for forty-five years, has been prodding insurgent Presidential candidates to attack the Washington establishment. Caddell, who lives in Charleston, is perhaps best known for helping Jimmy Carter win the 1976 Presidential race. He is also remembered for having collaborated with his friend Warren Beatty on the 1998 satire “Bulworth.” In that film, a kamikaze candidate abandons the usual talking points and excoriates both the major political parties and the media; voters love his unconventionality, and he becomes improbably popular. If the plot sounds familiar, there’s a reason: in recent years, Caddell has offered political advice to Trump. He has not worked directly for the President, but at least as far back as 2013 he has been a contractor for one of Trump’s biggest financial backers: Robert Mercer, a reclusive Long Island hedge-fund manager, who has become a major force behind the Trump Presidency.

During the past decade, Mercer, who is seventy, has funded an array of political projects that helped pave the way for Trump’s rise. Among these efforts was public-opinion research, conducted by Caddell, showing that political conditions in America were increasingly ripe for an outsider candidate to take the White House. Caddell told me that Mercer “is a libertarian—he despises the Republican establishment,” and added, “He thinks that the leaders are corrupt crooks, and that they’ve ruined the country.” .
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/03/27/the-reclusive-hedge-fund-tycoon-behind-the-trump-presidency

But you know – we’re going to end this entry on the lighter side here. Seriously, what strand of marijuana is Rick Wiles smoking? I mean really I should listen to conspiracy theory radio more often. These guys are fucking insane!

Rabid conspiracy theorist and End Times radio host Rick Wiles dedicated his “TruNews” radio program yesterday to delivering an extended warning that the government will soon dispatch an army of flesh-eating robots to devour uncooperative human beings.

Wiles and Steve Quayle, who is a frequent guest on his program, spent nearly two hours discussing the existence of giants, the prevalence of cannibalism and the looming Tribulation, with Wiles at one point warning that “the hatred of Christians will become so great in the Last Days that people will be encouraged to kill and eat them.”

To this end, Wiles cited a 2009 Wired magazine article that reported that a company was working on developing robots that could refuel themselves by ingesting biomass from the environment. Despite the fact that the company itself stated that the robots would rely on plant matter, Wiles remains convinced that they will in fact fuel themselves by feasting on human flesh.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-the-government-is-going-to-send-a-robot-to-your-house-to-eat-you-for-lunch/

[font size="8"]The Flat Earth Society [/font]


Time once again to ask:



This week – “The Flat Earth Society” – how is this still a thing? And how is this even more of a thing among NBA players? So this week Shaq, along with a bunch of current and former NBA players came out saying the earth is flat. Making the rest of us wonder – “what the fuck are you smoking?”. In fact, Mr. O’Neal’s claim for the earth being flat is about as absurd as you might imagine. And Shaq has a PH.d in education. That’s the really bizarre thing about this! Let’s roll the tape first and then discuss:

Shaquille O'Neal has a strong reputation as a bit of a jokester and a prankster, so we need to take his latest comments with a grain of salt. But based on his tone and his argument, it would seem that he is serious on this one — Shaquille O'Neal seems to believe the Earth is flat.

On his latest podcast, Shaq was asked what he thinks about Kyrie Irving's recent comments saying the Earth is flat. To the shock of co-host John Kincade, Shaq flat-out says, "It’s true. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. Yes, it is."

Shaq's evidence for the flat-Earth theory is that he can drive from one side of the United States to the other side and that he doesn't "go up and down at a 360-degree angle." He also cites Columbus not discovering America and that there is no way China "is under us."
http://www.businessinsider.com/shaquille-oneal-says-earth-is-flat-2017-3

So what strain of marijuana must you smoke in order to believe the earth is flat after acquiring a PH.d in education? It must be a pretty potent one! I’m guessing OG Kush? Maybe some Mamawana? Or maybe it's Headband or White Rhino? Or maybe some Girl Scout Cookies? Yes that's an actual strain of marijuana. Or maybe too much edible chocolate or pot candy? Well, Dude, we just don’t know! But Shaq’s claim is even far more absurd than he leads on. In fact, if you read the actual transcript, he comes off looking like an Infowars fan who’s smoked way too much of the strongest brand of weed available while listening to Alex Jones:

"It’s true. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. Yes, it is. Listen, there are three ways to manipulate the mind — what you read, what you see and what you hear. In school, first thing they teach us is, ‘Oh, Columbus discovered America,’ but when he got there, there were some fair-skinned people with the long hair smoking on the peace pipes. So, what does that tell you? Columbus didn’t discover America. So, listen, I drive from coast to coast, and this s--- is flat to me. I’m just saying. I drive from Florida to California all the time, and it’s flat to me. I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle, and all that stuff about gravity, have you looked outside Atlanta lately and seen all these buildings? You mean to tell me that China is under us? China is under us? It’s not. The world is flat."

Thank you Master Yoda! That is indeed why you fail. Let’s attempt to extrapolate Mr. O’Neal’s logic, or lack there of for a minute. First off, fuck that. Let’s explain math to him first. You don’t go up and down at a 360 degree angle. You would go “around” in what’s called a “circle”. And that’s something that they teach you in, let’s say second grade. And have you ever looked at the moon or the sun? you are aware that they are both round, am I right? And have you ever seen satellite images? Or know anything about human history? The mere thought of this would be enough to make your head explode. Well, for any sane person anyway. But Shaq isn’t the only NBA player who has bought into this nonsense. He’s commenting on something that the Cleveland Caviliers’ Kyle Irving said last week:

In another apperance on the “Road Trippin’” podcast, Cleveland Cavaliers guard Kyrie Irving addressed the fallout from his the-Earth-is-flat nonsense. Irving, Richard Jefferson, Channing Frye and Allie Clifton talked about it for a while, and Irving didn’t exactly walk his comments back.

“I found it somewhat hilarious just by the reaction it got,” Irving said. “That right there, before we went into All-Star weekend, we talked about this. Because we were like, ‘This is gonna be crazy, going into All-Star weekend, flat Earth, round Earth conversation. Aliens. No conspiracy theories. So as I’m at All-Star weekend, I’m starting to see different news channels, different people pick it up. And it almost felt like I was standing on top of a pendulum and I was like swinging back and forth and then it gave everyone a chance to just look at me and then, if they didn’t agree with me, kind of like throw rocks at me. Just like, ‘no, he can’t believe this.’

“And then you got all these science experts, guys that have been studying the space, the earth, everything for so many years,” Irving continued. “And I’m sitting back and I’m like, OK, the fact that, you know, that this is opening up conversation, I’m happy with that. The fact that it became a conversation starter and honestly people were asking me questions and they were looking at me like I didn’t have a brain on, or my parents didn’t raise me the right way, or something like that, there’s something definitely wrong with this kid -- that’s when I started to kind of, I took a step back and I was like OK, this is more than just what I just said. This right here opened up a whole bunch of things. A whole bunch of information as well.”
http://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/cavs-kyrie-irving-on-flat-earth-backlash-its-ok-to-have-your-own-thoughts/

So Flat Earth conspiracy theorists are really no different from any other conspiracy theories. Like the people who believe that a pizza parlor in Washington DC ran a child sex ring under its’ basement when it didn’t even have a basement. Or the people who believe the Sandy Hook massacre was a false flag operation and the kids murdered were paid child actors. So you can explain it to them, and you can show them pictures like this:



Actual NASA satellite image by the way. But nope. They won’t have any of it!

Dr. Shaquille O’Neal is no longer a professional basketball player, he’s a podcaster. That means he has unlimited opportunities to stick his size 22 foot in his mouth. On the latest episode, he threw his support behind the ridiculous belief that the world is flat. Why? He drives, and when he does, it’s flat to him.

Speaking with his co-host of The Big Podcast, John Kincade, Shaq addressed the controversy over the Cleveland Cavaliers’ Kyrie Irving insisting that the Earth is flat. Without missing a beat, Shaq said, “It’s true. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. Yes, it is.” Kincade immediately started laughing. The small part of me that still has fond memories of wasting afternoons playing Shaq-Fu perked up. Maybe he’s just screwing around, right? There’s no way he really believes that, right? I don’t know.
http://gizmodo.com/some-photos-of-earth-for-shaq-who-thinks-the-earth-is-1793422926

Now you may be asking yourself at this point “Well it’s all well and good, but what does Neil DeGrasse Tyson think about all of this?”. Why that’s a very oddly specific question! And we do have an answer for you!

Now it's time for Neil deGrasse Tyson, a man who was named as one of the 10 most influential people in science by Discover magazine in 2008, to weigh in on Irving's theory. While chatting with TMZ, Tyson said in the nicest way possible he has no problem with Irving believing the earth is flat as long as he sticks to his day job as a killer of dreams in the basketball realm.

"Let me be blunt," Tyson said in an interview with TMZ. "We live in a free country, so you ought to be able to think and say whatever you want. If he wants to think earth is flat, go right ahead – as long as he continues to play basketball and not become head of any space agencies. My point is if you have certain limitations of understanding of the natural world, stay away from jobs that require that."

Tyson then suggested we launch everyone who is on the same page as Irving into space and only allow them back once they all agree they were wrong. The Golden State Warriors would probably sign off on that idea as long as the expedition takes place in the first couple weeks of June.
http://www.rollingstone.com/sports/neil-degrasse-tyson-on-kyrie-irvings-flat-earth-claims-w468751

So even Dr. Tyson says that the people who believe that the earth is flat should be shot into space so that they can see for themselves that the earth is round. That’s enough to make you ask: The Flat Earth Society:




[font size="8"]The Trump Effect [/font]


Sigh, Trump fans keep doing what you’re doing. Of course I say that in the upmost sarcasm because the Trump effect once again reared its’ ugly head this week. If you don’t know what the Trump Effect is by now, you absolutely should. Essentially, to the deplorables, they think that just because Donald Trump is an asshole and he’s the president, that gives them a free pass to be assholes. Uh, it doesn’t. Not by a long shot. I mean we can talk about all the shit going down as a wave of hate crimes sweep across the US. Like this:

Vandals targeted Casa Ruby, an LGBT social services center in Washington, D.C., in an apparent hate crime on Sunday.

The center reported on Facebook (above) that a "transgender hater" vandalized the building and assaulted a staff member, noting that the incident occurred just days after Mayor Muriel Bowser reported a significant increase in hate crimes against trans people in the District.

Casa Ruby also pointed out that at least seven trans women have been murdered nationwide in 2017, adding that "this is how it begins and we refuse to be the next ones."

Last year, a black trans woman who'd been involved with Casa Ruby, Deeniquia Dodds, was fatally shot in D.C.

Read more: http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/johnwright/vandals_strike_yet_another_lgbt_community_center_as_wave_of_hate_crimes_continues

Yes holy shit indeed. There’s a wave of this going on, and not a word from our favorite president Donald Trump. Instead, he’s too busy attacking Snoop Dogg:

Link to tweet

And never mind when an incident like this happens. Gee, I wonder what this guy’s political affiliation might be?

A traveler has been indicted on charges of unlawful imprisonment and aggravated harassment, after he went on a racist tirade, yelled threatening slurs and even kicking a Muslim Delta employee in the leg at the at John F. Kennedy Airport.

Robin Rhodes, 57, who was returning in January from a trip to Aruba, also faces hate crime charges, reports CNN. He was released on $50,000 bond and ordered to return to court in June. He faces up to four years in prison.

Rhodes was waiting for a connecting flight to Worcester, Massachusetts, when he entered the Delta Sky Lounge at JFK. He came up to the office of the employee, who has not been identified, and said, "Are you (expletive deleted) sleeping? Are you praying? What are you doing?", said Queens District Attorney Richard Brown.

The criminal complaint states that Rhodes punched the door, which hit the back of the employee's chair. The employee then asked Rhodes as to what she had done to him and he replied, "You did nothing but I am going to kick your (expletive deleted) a**," the complaint said.

Read more: http://www.business-standard.com/article/news-ani/jfk-airport-man-attacks-muslim-woman-yelling-trump-will-get-rid-of-all-of-you-117031700087_1.html

But then there’s this out of New York City. I won’t say whether or not this guy voted for Trump, but you can draw your own conclusions. There’s nothing funny about this and so I will refrain from doing so:

JACKSON HEIGHTS — A Long Island man attacked two transgender women on Friday afternoon, shouting anti-gay slurs as he beat them outside a fast-food restaurant in what police have charged as a hate crime.

Patrick O'Meara, 38, started yelling at the women as they tried to enter McDonald's on 82nd Street, near Roosevelt Avenue, around 4:30 p.m. Friday, according to police.

He called the women "b--ches" and "f-ggots" and attacked them, pushing one woman to the ground and punching and kicking her, police said.

He briefly left the scene and returned with a cane, hitting one of the victims in the left hand, which caused a laceration, authorities said.

One of the victims also had a fractured ankle from the assault, and was taken to Forest Hills Hospital for her injuries, according to the criminal complaint. The other woman was treated at the scene, police said.
https://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20170318/jackson-heights/jackson-heights-hate-crime-trans-women-82nd-street

Shit is getting ugly out there folks. So ugly in fact a guy whose two sons died of heroin overdoses in Ohio received an ugly and hateful letter from what we can obviously assume is a Trump supporter:

An Ohio father who lost two of his three children to heroin overdoses said he received a letter celebrating their deaths that was postmarked from a condominium complex owned by President Donald Trump.

Roger Winemiller shared his family’s story earlier this month with the New York Times and WCPO-TV, and he got an anonymous letter about a week later that called for the repeal of Obamacare and referred to Trump, the TV station reported.

“It’s wonderful that junkies overdose and die,” the letter reads. “That is the only way we can rid America of all those low-life scum. I am so happy that your children did their part in reducing the drug population.”

“We should look forward to the repeal of filthy Obamacare,” the letter reads. “When we reduce mooching, those thieves will quickly die when they lose medical access.”

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/ohio-farmer-loses-two-kids-to-heroin-overdose-and-obamacare-hating-trump-fan-celebrates/

Fuck these people!

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 8: #7 Kansas Vs. #8 New Jersey [/font]




16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Last week, the heavily armed police in Missouri brought their big guns out against the Confederacy in South Carolina, and easily won that contest. This week it’s the final matchup in round 1 and it’s going to be a good one. We’re going back to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference where Sam Brownback’s Kansas is taking on one of the Layover League’s best in #8, Donald Trump stage prop Chris Christie’s New Jersey. This is the last team needed to enter the Hateful 8, but don’t worry – there’s going to be plenty of tournament left. We still have the conference finals, the final four, and the NFFSA (National For Fuck’s Sake Association) championship. So let’s get out our brackets, shall we?



[font size="6"]Round 8: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Round 2: #7 Kansas Vs #8 New Jersey[/font]

[font size="4"]New Jersey [/font]


Next up in our Stupidest State contest is none other than Donald Trump stage prop Chris Christie’s New Jersey! The Garden State is none other than the setting for the very popular movie “Garden State”. It’s also the home of famed movie director and guy who got kicked off Southwest for being too fat to fly, Kevin Smith. Yes, that really happened. It’s the home of the NHL’s New Jersey Devils, Rutgers University, and the Meadowlands – the home of the NFL’s New York Giants, and their much less successful brother, the New York Jets. And most everybody here has probably passed through Newark Airport on their way to or from some place at some point. The Garden State is also the home of Atlantic City – the basis for the popular HBO show “Boardwalk Empire”, and the center of bootlegging in the 1920s. And it also the business home of one Donald J. Trump, the current president of the United States. Which brings me to why they’re here. What else is New Jersey the home of? It’s the home of the Bridgegate Scandal, which places them high in the running for Fiscal Irresponsibility superiority. Let’s delve into this quite a bit more, shall we?

NEW YORK - Two former allies of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie were convicted on Friday for their roles in the "Bridgegate" lane closure scandal, following a six-week trial that served to further tarnish the Republican's damaged reputation.

Bridget Kelly, the governor's former deputy chief of staff, and Bill Baroni, former deputy executive director of the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, were found guilty in Newark federal court on all counts, the U.S. Attorney's office in New Jersey said on Twitter.

Kelly and Baroni were convicted of fraud, conspiracy and depriving the residents of Fort Lee, New Jersey, of their civil rights.

Christie, who has repeatedly denied any advance knowledge of the scheme, is a top adviser for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/former-christie-allies-convicted-in-nj-bridgegate-trial/ar-AAjU7Vs?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=edgsp

Just two allies were convicted? That’s it? And it didn’t bring down one of the most powerful republicans in the country? There’s got to be more to this, am I right?

A judge has found there is probable cause to charge Chris Christie in the Bridgegate scandal. Bergen County Superior Court Judge Roy McCready cited prior testimony from a federal trial of the New Jersey governor's top aides, who were convicted.

McCready agreed with a criminal complaint that "accuses the governor of failing to stop subordinates from purposely creating traffic jams to punish a Democratic mayor who didn't endorse him," WNYC reports.

The complaint "was brought against Christie by William Brennan, a Bergen County activist who is now running for governor." Brennan is "arguing that testimony during the Bridgegate trial last fall provided probable cause to charge the governor with official misconduct."

A statement released by Christie says the judge "has once again violated the Governor's constitutional rights," and "is violating the law, pure and simple."

"This concocted claim was investigated for three months by the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office, which summarily dismissed it, after concluding that the very same evidence relied upon again by this judge was utter nonsense," the statement adds.
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/judge_probable_cause_to_charge_chris_christie_in_bridgegate_scandal

So what does this have to do with New Jersey’s unparalleled corporate greed you might ask? Well to go beneath the headlines, as we often do on this show, and encourage you to do as well, let’s take a look at the Chris Christie – Jerry Jones connection. You know Infowars fans, this is what a real conspiracy looks like! Just so you’re aware!

Chris Christie is the governor of New Jersey, a former Republican candidate for president and a noted Dallas Cowboys fan.

He's also been hard at work aggravating Philadelphia sports fans.

Earlier this year, Christie tweaked Eagles fans during an appearance on WFAN's "Boomer and Carton Show" by calling them "generally angry, awful people."

Well, Christie reprised his role as perhaps the region's most notable Philly sports troll during an appearance on SportsNet New York on Thursday. Christie and some panelists were discussing the Phillies' use of Tug McGraw's "Ya Gotta Believe" slogan -- which the late closer popularized with the New York Mets -- in their spring training stadium during a segment called "Let's Overreact."

And Christie pretty much reiterated his comments from January about Eagles fans:

"The Phillies suck. Let's just start with that. They're from Philadelphia. They're an awful team. They're an angry, bitter fanbase, and it's not safe for civilized people to go to Citizens Bank Park if you want to root for the other team. Ya gotta believe what? Ya gotta believe we're awful people. That's what ya gotta believe."
http://www.pennlive.com/sports/index.ssf/2017/02/chris_christie_says_philadelph.html

Allow me to channel my inner football commentator for a minute - Oh come on, if there’s one group of people you don’t want to piss off, it’s football fans. These are the most passionate fans in sports, just ask Patriots fans. And your own state has two football teams! Did you forget that? Or are you in too much of a bromance with Jerry Jones? I mean you know how the conservatives are always railing about how celebrities should stay out of politics? That’s especially ironic when you think about the fact that they want to run Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kid Rock, and Ted Nugent. And their favorite presidents are, ironically, celebrities! The party that thinks celebrities should stay the fuck out of politics, sure has a lot of celebrities representing them, don’t they? Well, I could counter that with this: maybe conservative politicians should stay out of sports, how about that?

This week gave us three prime examples of why loudmouth lawmakers should stick to politics as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams and Texas Gov. Greg Abbott all came across like extreme jerks when they blurted out unfortunate things connected to the world of sports.

On Monday, Adams attempted to win cheap political points by getting involved in the feud between Knicks owner James Dolan and Charles Oakley. Adams, whose borough wasn't involved at all in the situation, held a press conference outside the Garden, made inflammatory accusations against Dolan (really, is there an easier target?), played the race card by comparing Oakley to Eric Garner, and called on Rev. Al Sharpton, who has made a career out of this stuff, to join him in what looked like it was going to become a racially charged political gong show in a hurry.

"Every time I fly first class, someone stops me to see my ticket over, and over and over again," Adams said before the Oakley ban from MSG was lifted. "It sends the wrong message to black boys and black leaders. Even when you sit in the most expensive seat in Madison Square Garden, you are treated in that manner. This would not have happened to Bill Bradley and Dave DeBusschere."
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/hey-politicians-stop-chiming-sports-topic-article-1.2975546

I like that one! And in case you’re wondering how Chris Christie got to be the Donald Trump stage prop that he is, look no further than what happened to the Trump organization when Chris Christie first took over as governor of New Jersey. As they say in “The Hangover”, “Quid Pro Quo, douchebags!”

By the time Chris Christie became governor of New Jersey, the state’s auditors and lawyers had been battling for several years to collect long-overdue taxes owed by the casinos founded by his friend Donald J. Trump.

The total, with interest, had grown to almost $30 million. The state had doggedly pursued the matter through two of the casinos’ bankruptcy cases and even accused the company led by Mr. Trump of filing false reports with state casino regulators about the amount of taxes it had paid.

But the year after Governor Christie, a Republican, took office, the tone of the litigation shifted. The state entertained settlement offers. And in December 2011, after six years in court, the state agreed to accept just $5 million, roughly 17 cents on the dollar of what auditors said the casinos owed.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-casinos%E2%80%99-tax-debt-was-dollar30-million-then-chris-christie-took-office/ar-BBvHIH3

[font size="4"]Kansas [/font]


Finally, we come to the last state, but certainly not least, in our Stupidest State contest that we have yet to cover – Kansas. The Sunflower State is home to some of college basketball’s best teams. This includes the Witchita State Warriors and the Kansas University Jayhawks. It’s also the home of America’s largest water park – called Schlitterbahn. Kansas is also the road trip capital of America and the home to such weirdly interesting tourist attractions such as the Barbed Wire Museum and the Underground Salt Museum. Interstate 70 stretches across Kansas and is home to some of the weirdest and most unique roadside attractions that make Route 66 one of the best road trips in the world. And what else is Kansas the home of? It’s the home of Tea Party darling Sam Brownback! In fact he’s so insane that the Kansas house is declaring war against him.

The House struck back at Gov. Sam Brownback on Wednesday, voting to override his veto of a massive package of tax increases to fill the states budget shortfall. Brownback vetoed House Bill 2178 in a news conference Wednesday morning after announcing his veto plans Tuesday night.

A little more than an hour later, the House voted 85-40 to override, clearing the minimum threshold of 84 votes. The Senate must also vote to override the veto with a two-thirds majority before the bill can be forced into law.

Brownback slammed the tax bill as a “punitive” increase. He called on lawmakers to work with him to find a solution and said his budget proposal offers a structurally-balanced budget by 2019 – a contention some lawmakers reject. He also called for lawmakers to look for savings.
http://cjonline.com/news/state-government/2017-02-22/house-votes-override-brownback-veto-tax-bill

Yes I’m in the “WTF” category on this one. So let’s go back and retrace our steps and I think we’ll need a flow chart for this one. So Sam Brownback proposes a budget. It passes the house and the senate and lands on his desk where all he has to do is sign it. Then he vetoes his own legislation. Then the house overrides his own veto. Then he overrides the house and vetoes his own legislation. Yeah that sounds about right. So what else happened in the world of Brownbackistan?

Gov. Sam Brownback’s office announced $97 million in budget cuts on Wednesday, with more than half of that coming from the state’s Medicaid system.

Most state agencies will have a 4 percent cut. The governor exempted the Department of Corrections, the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, the Kansas Highway Patrol and state hospitals.

Public K-12 education, which represents half of the state’s general fund budget, also was shielded from cuts. Lawmakers had written that provision into the budget bill.

Medicaid, which provides health care for low-income Kansans, accounts for 20 percent of the state’s general fund budget and shouldered the brunt of the budget cuts. The Kansas Department of Health and Environment and the Kansas Department for Aging and Disability Services, the two agencies that administer the program, saw $57.4 million in combined cuts.

Read more here: http://www.kansas.com/news/politics-government/article78450362.html#storylink=cpy

Why do GOP spending programs remind me of that clip on the Simpsons? And now here’s the easiest part of any governor’s job – the cuts. Social security, you’re cut. National Endowment For The Arts? You’re cut. Medicare? You’re cut. Military? You stay. Higher education? You’re cut. State department? You’re cut. Look, there’s so many cuts here I’m just going to post your names on this board here. Energy department? You’re cut. And so on. But getting back to Sam Brownback… what else has he been involved in? He’s also been cutting $54 million to the state’s public school system!

Kansas Republican Gov. Sam Brownback’s aggressive tax cuts have come back to haunt him. In the latest move to make up for a massive state deficit caused by his economic policy, Brownback plans to cut nearly $45 million in funding for public schools and higher education in his state by March.

Brownback shared his plans for the current budget cycle on Thursday ahead of a Senate vote on a bill aimed at eradicating a $344 million deficit projected for the end of June. More than half of the money would be taken from funding for K-12 schools, and take place as soon as March 7, The Associated Press reported. The cut would also affect Kansas colleges and universities. Top Republicans said lawmakers need to agree on a solution to fix the budget by Feb. 13 to make sure the state pays its bills on time through the summer months.

Brownback spent his first term slashing taxes for the rich, promising it would lead to boom times for everyone else. Brownback’s “real live experiment” was supposed to lift Kansas out of the recession and into economic prosperity. The tax breaks instead led to debt downgrades, weak growth, and left the state finances in shambles. The Republican-led legislature in his state previously celebrated his massive tax cuts, but his action landed the state’s budget in shambles when it didn’t boost the economy like he’d hoped.

The governor, along with the state legislature, cut budgets for schools so much in the past that the Kansas Supreme Court last year declared school funding levels unconstitutional.

Read more: http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/kansas-gov-sam-brownback-cut-45-million-public-school-funding

And in case you’re wondering about the kind of caliber a person like Sam Brownback really is, I give you this:

PARKER — Undulating fields of crops and livestock-dotted pastures are the domain of a trigger-happy bully who brags about a political cloak of invincibility keeping him beyond reach of the law in faithfully conservative Linn County.

Adversaries say he has woven a liquor-infused tapestry of fear colored by intimidation, abuse and lies. The saga features stalking, death threats, trespassing, drive-by gunfire, massive explosions, cattle theft, loan defaults, hit-and-run driving and marital strife. Linn County Sheriff’s Department files bulge with complaints about him.

There is trepidation among acquaintances to speak freely, a point accentuated by the number expressing nervousness about reprisal if they were candid. There is genuine fear.

Descriptions of events offered by those willing to speak out converge to reveal a potentially lethal menace. Neighbors allege some in law enforcement responded to cries for help with degrees of indifference or favoritism.

http://www.gctelegram.com/news/state/gov-sam-brownback-s-brother-accused-of-terrorizing-rural-neighbors/article_34f155b4-1ad8-5731-9a91-05851efdd899.html

And in case you’re wondering about the Tea Party’s class, or complete lack thereof, look no further than last year when Sam Brownback just killed a report that said that the Tea Party’s policies effectively destroyed Kansas. Which, well, which it did!

Kansas Governor Sam Brownback enacted his grand “tea party experiment” of Republican government, where he and his Republican-led legislature cut taxes and significantly reduced spending. The result has been catastrophic for the state’s economy and for jobs, but a report that would detail just how catastrophic is now being censored by the Brownback administration.

According to a shocking Kansas City Star report, Brownback set up a group in 2011 that would put out quarterly reports showing the impact of Brownback’s economic laws. His problem, of course, is that the reports don’t show what he hoped they would. Instead, they reflect the downward spiral of the Kansas economy thanks to Brownback’s failed policies.

Last January, Brownback tried to hide the report when it showed something he didn’t like. Now, they’re going a different route and killing the report entirely. Brownback had hoped that the report would reflect a sudden jolt of economic excitement with the tax cuts. Now, they show that “Kansas sometimes was faring worse than it had before Brownback became governor.”

The administration flatly rejects this account of where the report went, claiming it was always too complicated for people to understand.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/sam-brownback-kills-report-that-would-show-how-his-tea-party-policies-destroyed-the-kansas-economy/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

This was an extremely good and very close matchup, but sadly, only one team can advance to face Michigan in the next round. This game went into double overtime. But... we do have a winner! Kansas has propelled past New Jersey to the top of Fiscal Irresponsibility superiority! They will move on to face Michigan in the conference finals. Final score 101 - 97. Both teams were very evenly matched, but there's no mistake that Sam Brownback is the reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility! This may be the end of round 1, but don’t worry – there’s plenty of tournament left! We still have four matches in round 2 and 2 matches in round 3, plus the championship round. Next week – it’s the first round of the conference finals! And to kick things off in our quest to find the final four we’re going to start in the Batshit Conference – Florida. Texas. This is for all the marbles to win the coveted Batshit Crown!

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Milky Chance[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, playing their song “Cocoons” from their new album “Blossom”, please welcome Milky Chance!
.

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

[DoBotherMe]

1. KNR

[dembotoz]

2. love it as usual but i still think kansas

brownback is really that special

[Initech]

3. That was a toss up. I changed it.

Honestly that's why I saved the best match for last - Chris Christie is the Donald Trump stage prop we all know, and Sam Brownback has utterly destroyed Kansas.

[underpants]

4. Cut...cut...Groenig I already cut you...Tull cut...Duke cut...Namath you stay...cut...cut...

[Initech]

5. Oh there's so many cuts here!

[underpants]

6. Shooshy lady..you're cut

I'm not sure if the clip goes all the way to that point but Homer cuts the women at the end who says "shoosh!".