Weasel Apparently Shuts Down World's Most Powerful Particle Collider

[47of74]

Source: NPR

A small mammal has sabotaged the world's most powerful scientific instrument.

The Large Hadron Collider, a 17-mile superconducting machine designed to smash protons together at close to the speed of light, went offline overnight. Engineers investigating the mishap found the charred remains of a furry creature near a gnawed-through power cable.

"We had electrical problems, and we are pretty sure this was caused by a small animal," says Arnaud Marsollier, head of press for CERN, the organization that runs the $7 billion particle collider in Switzerland. Although they had not conducted a thorough analysis of the remains, Marsollier says they believe the creature was "a weasel, probably." (Update: An official briefing document from CERN indicates the creature may have been a marten.)

The shutdown comes as the LHC was preparing to collect new data on the Higgs Boson, a fundamental particle it discovered in 2012. The Higgs is believed to endow other particles with mass, and it is considered to be a cornerstone of the modern theory of particle physics.

Read more: http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/29/476154494/weasel-shuts-down-world-s-most-powerful-particle-collider

[jtuck004]

1. Have they checked dna to see if was a weasel?

[cstanleytech]

7. Or asked for its original birth certificate?

[MowCowWhoHow III]

2. Higgs is mine!

[surrealAmerican]

3. It would be weasel.

... so was this baboon's collider?

[muriel_volestrangler]

4. Methinks it is like a weasel.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weasel_program

[Initech]

5. Did it go pop?

[47of74]

9. Yeah he probably did.

[cstanleytech]

6. My, Cruz sure has been busy. nt

[47of74]

8. HA. LOL.

Yeah sure looks that way.

Of course it's insulting to weasels to compare them to Lucifer's personal representative here on Earth.

[fred v]

13. Don't insult poor Lucifer

His life is Hell as it is!

[tanyev]

10. An ex-marten. :(

[Fritz Walter]

11. Couldn't resist

It's Friday afternoon, time for some Looney Tunes!

[LongTomH]

12. Reminds me of the 'Samurai Raccoon' that took down the American Airlines Sabre Computer system

Same thing - the critter chewed through the insulation of a power cable feeding Sabre's computer center. I don't think they found much more than teeth after the raccoon hit the conductor.

[Blues Heron]

14. Now we know what happens when a weasel

approaches the speed of light...

[47of74]

17. Yeah much like Mr. Ed going to warp....

...the weasel probably screamed "Wilburrrrrrrrrr" which was Doppler shifted into infinity.

[valerief]

15. Weasels in nature, weasels in business, weasels in politics, they all fuck things up. nt

[IDemo]

16. Not a surprise

When I worked telephone repair years ago, the biggest source of trouble was mouse damage on the inside wiring and squirrel bites on overhead cable. They love the taste and/or texture of the insulation.

[sakabatou]

18. Dammit, Daxter!

[Kelvin Mace]

19. Accidentally exposed to the exotic Higgs-Boson particles

Mild-mannered weasel, Wiltmore Cavendish, now patrols the dark streets of Geneva as:

[Godhumor]

20. The scientist went on to say

"And, while a cat in a box with a decaying nuclear material is both alive and dead, a Marten in a collider is dead. Very much so. There is literally no doubt."

[whistler162]

21. Grace Hopper reincarnated or

new term we have a weasel in the system!

[forest444]

22. The hand of God?

These colliders are risky. And while the potential benefits by way of scientic discoveries are no doubt awesome, we all know damn well that any such eurekas will be summarily handed over to the military and it profiteer hangers-on. It's a real shame really.