The Death (and Life) of Marriage in America

[xchrom]

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/02/the-death-and-life-of-marriage-in-america/252640/


The story we think we know is that the institution of marriage is crumbling and on the brink of oblivion. The real story is much more complicated.


Feb 7 2012, 9:26 AM ET 64


National Marriage Week USA kicks off today, and for many people, a national booster movement for marriage could not come any sooner. The recession did a number on American matrimony, as you've surely heard. The collapse in marriage rates is cited as one of the most important symptoms -- or is it a cause? -- of economic malaise for the middle class. But the statistics aren't always what they seem, and the reasons behind marriage's so-called decline aren't all negative.

At first blush, the institution of marriage is crumbling. In 1960, 72% of all adults over 18 were married. By 2010, the number fell to 51%. You can fault the increase in divorces that peaked in the 1970s. Or you could just blame the twentysomethings. The share of married adults 18-29 plunged from from 59% in 1960 to 20% in 2010. Twenty percent!



What on earth is going on with these kids? Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers tried to answer that question (among others) in their fantastic 2007 study "Marriage and Divorce: Changes and their Driving Forces."

The simplest summary of their findings is: It's really, really complicated. The full answer for the delay and decline of marriage would touch on birth control technology (which extends courtships by reducing the cost of waiting to get married), liberal divorce laws (which creates "churn" in the labor market by increasing divorces and new marriages), and even washing/drying machines (which both eliminate the need for men to marry lower-earning women to do housework and also free up women to work and study).

[JustAnotherGen]

1. The article

Is not about marriage . . .

The War in Iraq is mostly over. We're drawing down forces in Afghanistan. Barring an unexpected terrorist attack or another Libya-style troop deployment, Election 2012 will proceed in a world where the War on Terrorism is being waged by intelligence agencies making drone strikes in places like Pakistan, Yemen and Somalia, and one in which we may be taking covert action inside Iran too.

[Ilsa]

2. Please fix your link. nt

[xchrom]

3. fixed the link -- that's what i get for reading 2 articles back to back. nt

[LiberalEsto]

4. People can't afford weddings

The media and the wedding industry have brainwashed people into thinking that it's necessary to spend upwards of $20,000 for a wedding.

With unemployment, lower wages and the economy, I suspect people are postponing weddings until their situations improve.

[n2doc]

5. Paul Krugman has been discussing this on his blog

I'm betting his next column will be on it also. See:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002283441

His take is that young people see a bleak future and thus have no desire to keep up a 'middle class' facade.

[xchrom]

6. Wow. Interesting. Nt

[Demeter]

7. Marriage is failing because the economy has failed to support it.

There's no value in keeping a family together any more, and not enough money, either.

There used to be economies of scale--two people in partnership could do the work of four individuals: marriage, career, children and community.

But along the way, employers started demanding from workers the time they would be putting into marriage, children and community, without compensation proportional to the added time.

In an attempt to re-balance the time=money equation, many women went to work and fobbed off the children on extended-day schools, after school care, grandparents, or whatever they could. Some marriages tried to get off the demand-all career track, split duties more equitably, but all these adjustments were either unavailable, unworkable, or too stressful on the adults and kids.

Then employers started layoffs, when their frantic pursuit of profits at any cost (including fraud and abuse) proved unsustainable. Thanks to some truly heinous federal policies (no welfare to families if a father was in the house), family breakup was demanded for survival of the children.

And the male ego, when inflexible, started to tear apart the fabric of society...and marriage. Men did not like being made fools of by their employers, and took it home to vent.

We will know the economy has healed when marriages survive the working years once more.

[cbrer]

8. There's some important

Insight here. Economics has, by virtue of societal norms, become the motivating force behind many people's decision to stay together. But I know more than a few examples of true love existing. It seems to transcend economics. There's also a reverse logic here too. "Two can live for the price of one" type stuff.

By my experiences, you're making too much stew from one oyster. Economic trends and marraige are not tracking each other, inversely, or any other way. there may be some correlation, but it can also be shown that in at least some examples, social units, or families, exist for the financial, and emotional benefits of being together.

And attempting to tie male egos to institutional trends may bear some fruit, but you've got a ways to go before drawing a conclusion.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

9. The Christians fetishize a piece of paper.

They fetishize the marriage certificate. They rant and rave that Gawd only wants you to have sex after you are married, and you must have that State-issued Screwing License, or Gawd will be seriously mad.

Life doesn't work out that way. A marriage certificate will NOT make your spouse love you. It won't make your spouse respect you. It won't make your spouse treat you decently. It has no magic effects on people.

I know. I've been married to two emotionally abusive bastards who really messed me up.

Finally I am in my third major relationship. Guess what? I finally have a man who A) is not ashamed to be seen with me in public; B) will wear a wedding ring in public. Amazing!!!

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

10. I am not opposed to getting married, but I don't feel an overwhelming inclination to it either

And the only people on the planet who have expressed strong feelings about it are my parents. Who are mortified neither me or my brother have married our girlfriends despite being in permanent relationships.

In my present relationship it just seems an issue to be avoided since with both came from relationships that broke down over that issue. My ex was looking for some sort of corporate merger where my very existence would be dissolved into her life. Her career, her friends, her causes etc. And her ex, after they were already engaged demanded that she "grow up" which entailed eschewing all of her interests and passions because his parents disapproved.

I'm sterile, so there won't be any little Jos or Josie's running around who might appreciate the stability of married parents, it just seems like a distraction in the life we are enjoying together.