KARAOKE MACHINE BACKS OUT OF PERFORMING AT INAUGURATION

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s plans for a triumphal Inauguration were upended over the weekend when a karaoke machine that had been engaged to perform at the event abruptly backed out.

In an official statement, the karaoke machine said that it was withdrawing because it “did not want my participation at the Inauguration to in any way be construed as an endorsement of Donald Trump.”

The President-elect wasted no time in lashing out at the karaoke machine, taking to Twitter in the early hours of the morning to call the entertainment device a “loser” and “sad.”

But Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s adviser, attempted to minimize the machine’s departure in an appearance on Fox News. “Naturally, we’re disappointed in the karaoke machine’s decision, but we still have Jackie Evancho,” she said.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/karaoke-machine-backs-out-of-performing-at-inauguration

[Xipe Totec]

1. Poor Jackie. Such a sweet child. nt

[Zorro]

5. Yes, such an incredible voice for a child

It's her parent's decision, I'm sure.

[progressoid]

2. He did a good one last month about this too...

Putin to Sing at Trump Inauguration

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After having difficulty persuading prominent entertainers to participate at the event, the Trump transition team announced on Sunday that the Russian President Vladimir Putin would sing at Donald J. Trump’s Inauguration next month.

In a brief statement from the Kremlin, Putin said, “I will be most delighted to perform for my comrade.”

...

Putin’s choice of musical material also stirred controversy, as politicians on both sides of the aisle questioned his plan to perform the Russian national anthem.

According to those critics, the spectacle of Putin praising the glory and majesty of Russia in song would be inappropriate for the Inauguration of an American President.

In an attempt to quell that controversy, Putin said late on Sunday that he would instead serenade Trump by singing the Bette Midler classic, “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/putin-to-sing-at-trump-inauguration

[mwooldri]

3. Hehehehe - artificial intelligence knows.

Heck, a karaoke machine would make a better President than Donal Drumpf.

[dalton99a]

4. Good one.