The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsOur son Brendan died suddenly on November 5th
Our son Brendan died suddenly on November 5th.
He was our baby, our first-born. We miss him so much.
He was a wonderful son and a good man. He was the mainstay of our family.
His children meant the world to him. He made tremendous sacrifices of his time and energy for them.
He enjoyed his work, and was very good at it. He was employed by an air freight company, where he rose from a driver to become operations manager.
His working at home this spring and summer gave us a chance to see him in operation, to appreciate his skill and aptitude for what he did. Co-ordinating shipments and deliveries all over the country, often with extremely time-sensitive cargoes, is as much an art as a business, because of the wide range of human factors involved, when several people must each perform a stage of the task for its successful completion. He kept things moving, and he knew how to do it. It was something to witness.
Cars and guitars are not uncommon devotions of a young man, and they ran deep with him. He found relaxation and artistic expression with his guitars, and had recently bought himself a new electric and a small amplifier. We can remember Brendan, as a toddler long ago, setting an empty doughnut box on the coffeetable, with the cellophane paneled lid tipped up, sitting there behind this 'windshield' to drive his car. He would inform us, when out on a walk, which of the cars we passed had happy tires.
He was an adventurous and curious child. He would often go wandering, beyond where we expected him to be. We would find people saying hello to him all about the neighborhood. Brendan charmed most of the people he met, and all of those he worked with. Even today, we are discovering friends we never knew he had, and over the years had occasion to learn of youthful adventures we'd never had a clue were going on.
Brendan was our family's memory. Events loom larger with children, and they recall things a parent will have long forgotten. He took a serious interest in genealogy, sparked by some oddities in our background. His mother's name is unusual, and he tracked down just about every stage of her ancestors' immigration and lives here back for several generations, and got a fix on current distant relatives. He laid to rest a myth I was raised to believe, about my own family background.
He had a passionate interest in Soviet and Latin American history, and his grasp of these far exceeds my own. His tastes in literature ran from the Heaney translation of Beowulf to Ulysses. He was a voracious reader.
Brendan took a great interest in politics and current affairs. He was angry and appalled at what has been happening to our country, and it is some small comfort at least to know he saw the turning of the tide before he passed. As events developed over that weekend, all we could think of was how glad he would have been to learn what we saw happening Thursday morning actually came true.
The loss is unfathomable. He simply fell dead of what must have been a massive heart attack, with no warning at all. His eyes were half-open but there was no one there anymore. The medical people tried but there was nothing they could do.
The standing desk Brendan made of the dining room table is covered with candles, and sometimes we stand there and just look at what he saw, what was on his mind, the open pads of notes, the computer that still lights up at the slightest nudge. Flowers, purple and white, are there as well. We brought him home this Friday, and the urn rests for now on his bed, above the crossed guitars, the acoustic and the electric.
We do hope to have a memorial service early in December, but in the current situation it is not possible to be certain.
DUgosh
(3,059 posts)Please accept my sincere condolences
First Speaker
(4,858 posts)...please, know that we here at DU are always here for you...
soothsayer
(38,601 posts)sfstaxprep
(9,998 posts)I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, but stay well.
jmbar2
(4,923 posts)He sounds like someone I would have enjoyed knowing.
I am so sorry for your loss.
The Magistrate
(95,268 posts)It will be a while before I am posting again. We are moving, there is a lot to do, and there's not much that's enjoyable now. By the way, any old lags who recall one 'Vogon Jeltz' posting here, that was him.
I never got used to our baby turning out taller than me. He was a big fellow, with a beard a Viking would envy.
blm
(113,136 posts)Peacetrain
(22,881 posts)The loss of a child. It is not how life is supposed to go.. My heart breaks
Siwsan
(26,333 posts)Glorfindel
(9,747 posts)Deepest sympathy in your loss.
hlthe2b
(102,562 posts)My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. May your happy memories soon be those that come to mind--far more than the pain.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(116,004 posts)I wish there was something I could say but there isn't. I'm just very sorry.
brer cat
(24,663 posts)There are no words to express the sorrow of a parent losing a child. My deepest sympathy, sir.
Squinch
(51,090 posts)Walleye
(31,156 posts)So tragic. I hope you find peace.My SO of 30 years. Heart attack. My cousins wife also died suddenly just before the election. She was a big anti-trumper.
Ohiogal
(32,196 posts)I cannot imagine the pain of losing a son or daughter. Please know there are many people here who are keeping you in our thoughts.
OAITW r.2.0
(24,784 posts)Losing my only son would devastate me to my core. He sounds a lot like your Brendan......best thoughts for you and your family. Current events disappear when life's reality effects you this closely and deeply.
whathehell
(29,111 posts)Rorey
(8,445 posts)I am so sorry for this tremendous loss.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,831 posts)I am so very sorry to hear your sad news. It is heartbreaking.
Words are so inadequate. I wish I could convey my shock and dismay at your loss.
What a remarkable man you helped raise. He sounds like a force for good in the world, for all of us.
Please take care of yourselves during this time of grief.
A wise person once said: "The deeper the grief, the deeper the love." It is so true.
MFM008
(19,837 posts)im so so so sorry.
Fate/life is unbelievably cruel.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vnqmzSoXcKg/TevYO94cS3I/AAAAAAAAAZ8/utt6u8ybj6c/s1600/lilacs+purple+cropped.JPG
for your son.
empedocles
(15,751 posts)LiberalBrooke
(527 posts)I am so sorry.
colorado_ufo
(5,743 posts)Phoenix61
(17,027 posts)Hoyt
(54,770 posts)madaboutharry
(40,247 posts)I am so sorry to learn of this terrible loss. I wish for you and your family a pathway to peace as you navigate such deep grief.
Love and peace to you and all your family and to all those who knew and loved your son.
hwmnbn
(4,279 posts)babylonsister
(171,111 posts)thank you for sharing Brendan with us. He sounds like a lovely man. My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
TheCowsCameHome
(40,169 posts)I cannot imagine how horrible this must be for you and your family.
Peace.
onecaliberal
(33,013 posts)JohnnyLib2
(11,212 posts)Your tribute is touching and heartbreaking at once. May your heart and those of your family find peace as time passes.
Guilded Lilly
(5,591 posts)kimbutgar
(21,285 posts)Parents should never have to bury their children. So sorry for your loss. The unexpected is the worst.
Happyhippychick
(8,379 posts)May he Rest In Peace
bluestarone
(17,128 posts)sheshe2
(84,072 posts)He sounds to have been a very good man, much like his father.
I am so very sorry.
Hugs to you and yours.
mountain grammy
(26,676 posts)You describe a beautiful human being.What a tragic loss.
Peace to you, Magistrate. You are in my heart.
Faux pas
(14,714 posts)to everyone who knew and loved him.
Cha
(298,077 posts)heartbreaking loss, TM... What a beautiful tribute to your son.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,034 posts)hard to hear of anything this awful.
I am so so sorry for your heartbreaking news.
UpInArms
(51,295 posts)To say how utterly sorrowful I am for your loss.
Just know that my heart aches with yours
warmfeet
(3,321 posts)My best friend died in a very similar way just over ten years ago. Losing your child is a whole different level of tragedy.
wendyb-NC
(3,351 posts)of your son. A parent should never have to bury their child, there are no words to capture the pain that it is.
He sounds like a truly amazing person. My deepest condolences to you and all the family. Thank you, for sharing the wonderful memorial about him and his accomplished life. Peace be with you.
MontanaMama
(23,368 posts)I cant imagine what these days have been like. I am so sorry for your loss. I know if will be a long time but I hope someday Brendans memory will be a blessing. Peace to you and your family.
spooky3
(34,531 posts)Fla Dem
(23,887 posts)A sudden loss is such a shock. No time to say good bye or a last hug. My heart aches for you. May the good, loving memories help you heal.
SleeplessinSoCal
(9,192 posts)This year needs a name. Not just a number. And I vote to dedicate it to Brendan's memory.
💕
barbtries
(28,824 posts)it is unfathomable. hurting for you.
MelissaB
(16,420 posts)cry baby
(6,682 posts)Im so very sorry for your deep loss.
May his memory be a blessing to you and your family.
c-rational
(2,602 posts)ZZenith
(4,136 posts)Your son leaves a huge void and I wish your family strength and courage as you negotiate this new world without him.
Submariner
(12,515 posts)Sorry for your loss
catchnrelease
(1,946 posts)No parent should suffer this. Your words do him great honor. It sounds like he lived a good life and was well loved.
voteearlyvoteoften
(1,716 posts)Sending love ❤️
moonscape
(4,676 posts)your. son. Without knowing any of you, I read with interest a bit about a man that I increasingly got the sense I was missing out a lot by not having known him, and how much he touched the lives of those who did.
What a tragic loss. I am so sorry.
jrthin
(4,842 posts)The empressof all
(29,098 posts)I am so very sorry for this loss to your family and loved ones.
AllyCat
(16,267 posts)What a wonderful tribute you have written about your beloved son.
SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreaking loss!
Brendan's memory will live on in your hearts and, I trust, will one day be a great comfort.
Healing vibes to you, your wife & family. 💗💗💗
You reared a wonderful man, Magistrate and your memorial speaks to that.
Please remember to engage in good self-care, remember to eat, sleep, and breathe deeply.
Nothing hurts like the loss of a child and I hope in time your hearts will find peace in your precious memories.
Atticus
(15,124 posts)death has taken a good and eminently decent man from this world.
Your deep love for him resonates throughout your post and I am sure touched the hearts of all of us lucky enough to have children we love.
Words are poor substitutes for hugs and shared tears. Take care of yourself and those still with you.
question everything
(47,599 posts)Usually I wish for cherished memories but here memories may just be painful, for a while.
I do hope that you and the family are surrounded by wonderful friends to take solace and to love and support each other.
MySideOfTown
(225 posts)I can't imagine what you are going through losing a child. So sorry. I lost my wife to cancer 5 years ago. I don't think I'll ever recover. Hang in there.
tavernier
(12,428 posts)I was looking for a link thinking you were sharing someone elses tragedy.
It seems so much more personal when the loss belongs to one of ours.
I can feel your pain in my heart.
I am so very sorry.
DownriverDem
(6,237 posts)for your loss.
Behind the Aegis
(54,064 posts)You and your family have my deepest condolences!
Karadeniz
(22,607 posts)Stunned and still just trying to accept this new reality. So sorry!
pazzyanne
(6,560 posts)It is always hard to lose a loved one, and especially so when it happens without warning. You have wonderful memories of Brendan to look back on. Please be kind to yourself and take care. You have a lot of friends and admirers here on DU.
Solly Mack
(90,803 posts)Oh, Sir, I am so sorry.
CatMor
(6,212 posts)you are lucky to have had such a wonderful son. My thoughts are with you.
Devilsun
(202 posts)Brendan must have been a true Renaissance man!😥
still_one
(92,528 posts)through
Paladin
(28,287 posts)He sounds like a very special young man, someone it had to be a privilege to associate with. Blessings to you in this time of profound sorrow.
magicarpet
(14,222 posts)He sounds like a wonderful and cheerful young man who made a much too early departure.
Safe passage to him and strength and endurance for you and your loved ones to help one another through this unexpected event that life sends our way. But we help each other get back on our feet again.
japple
(9,850 posts)I hope you know that you were instrumental in creating a brilliant soul. Thank you for giving him to the world. Thank you for sharing his life and memories with us here at DU. Love and peace to you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Wicked Blue
(5,868 posts)You evoked him so beautifully in your post. I'm glad you have so many good memories of him to carry in your heart.
My deep sympathy for your loss.
marble falls
(57,540 posts)... it was to be composed enough to create this work of love.
You and your wife are on my mind. It will make me hug my children a lot harder and longer when I get to see them next.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Baltimike
(4,148 posts)DFW
(54,510 posts)It is something no parent ever wants to write
sarge43
(28,946 posts)The Genealogist
(4,723 posts)who lived a full and exemplary life. I'm sure his memory will long live on in those whose life he touched.
peacebuzzard
(5,184 posts)a loss so profound, your son, unimaginable. A gifted son, productive son, his character which you shared describes a gifted soul, an angel.
So very, very sorry.
SalmonChantedEvening
(31,955 posts)Sending love, light and warmth your way, my friend.
Laffy Kat
(16,394 posts)I am so very sorry.
rainin
(3,011 posts)Owl
(3,647 posts)My deepest sympathy.
LuvNewcastle
(16,867 posts)I know this was the worst sort of shock for you and your family. The only help for a hurt like this is time and your beautiful memories. Your obituary gives a wonderful description of your son; he sounds like the kind of guy I would like to have known. Take comfort in the fact that you raised a fine man who lived a good and decent life.
Ruby the Liberal
(26,219 posts)May his memory be a blessing.
denbot
(9,901 posts)Peace to you and yours.
Sucha NastyWoman
(2,759 posts)I am so sorry.
NNadir
(33,587 posts)louslobbs
(3,241 posts)Im so sorry.
Lou
dlk
(11,606 posts)I cant imagine losing a child. Wishing you peace and comfort during this very difficult time.
pwb
(11,318 posts)I lost my only Son two years ago.
raising2moredems
(644 posts)As a parent, I cannot fathom either of my children passing before me. Take solace in the time you had with him. Know that he loved his children and that in his children, he lives on. There are no words I can say to make his passing any easier. My only wish is that over time, your grief lessens a bit. I know you'll be there for his children.
BeyondGeography
(39,395 posts)I am deeply sorry for your loss, sir. Thank you for sharing those sweet memories of your beautiful son with us.
Moostache
(9,897 posts)The loss of a loved one in these days is so much more painful than usual. I hope you are able to lean on each other and on memories to get through.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)Kali
(55,032 posts)I am so sorry.
Niagara
(7,775 posts)My sincere condolences and thoughts go out to you and your family in this extremely difficult time.
thinkingagain
(907 posts)You are going through Of losing a loved one.
icymist
(15,888 posts)My condolences.
iamateacher
(1,090 posts)For your loss
ananda
(28,914 posts)My condolences.
zbird
(1,595 posts)I cannot imagine such a loss. Sending much love.
godsentme
(73 posts)What a beautiful picture in words you painted. I'm so sorry. Wishing you peace.
klook
(12,174 posts)I can only imagine how you and your family are reeling from this tragic loss. Take care of yourself. If its any comfort, reading your description of this fantastic son makes it plain how much richer your life is to have been graced by his presence.
A beloved and good-hearted person leaves reverberations that change us forever. We miss them so, even as we feel their imprint.
birdographer
(1,375 posts)This is unbearable. For everyone who reads it. We feel for you, we ache for you.
Adelante
(28,394 posts)I am so very sorry, Magistrate. Warm condolences to you and your family.
Demsrule86
(68,825 posts)imagine. I will pray for you and that doesn't seem enough. If there is something else you need please PM me. You are in my thoughts .
vercetti2021
(10,156 posts)I'm so so sorry for your loss
They_Live
(3,249 posts)I really am.
nancy1942
(635 posts)I can empathize with you. I also lost my only son and the pain is unbearable.
skylucy
(3,749 posts)Aristus
(66,530 posts)...
femmedem
(8,213 posts)Thank you for the tribute you wrote. I feel as if I know him, and of your love for him.
cate94
(2,817 posts)dweller
(23,709 posts)to you and your family, sir.
May your healing be swift and the memories be sweet
✌🏻
Tanuki
(14,931 posts)It made me smile at some moments and at others brought me close to tears. I am so very sorry that you and your family have had to drink from the sorrowful cup of losing Brendan. You obviously raised a fine son and I wish your family the very best in healing and with time reclaiming the joy he would have wanted you to have.
🌹
FakeNoose
(32,917 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grief will always be there, but sometime in the future the pain of your loss will slowly diminish. The knowledge that Brendan didn't suffer should be a comfort, but I know you'll always miss your son and love his memory. May God bless you, dear Magistrate.
electric_blue68
(15,030 posts)A vivid, beautiful memory sketch of his life; youth, work, family, passions. ❤️
How sweet his young wanderings through your neighborhood.
Strength to you all so dearly missing him.
Dem2theMax
(9,661 posts)Knowing you from the words you write on this board, it doesn't surprise me to hear what an amazing man he was.
May the universe surround you and your family with abundant love and support.
And all of us here, we are all here for you.
For Brendan
H2O Man
(73,709 posts)There are no words.
BMW2020RT
(139 posts)dflprincess
(28,095 posts)Biophilic
(3,737 posts)CrispyQ
(36,567 posts)May the memories of your beloved son and the love of your family give you comfort during this difficult time.
joshcryer
(62,287 posts)I wish you and yours well, and I wish the pain to cease soon and the memories of his life to flourish in your hearts and mind. I feel so much for you. Please be well.
George II
(67,782 posts)My sympathy to you and your family.
Stay strong.
bronxiteforever
(9,287 posts)I am sorry for you and your familys loss.
GeoWilliam750
(2,523 posts)BumRushDaShow
(130,043 posts)Your remarkable summary of his life and works underscores that he will be sorely missed but not forgotten.
Condolences to you and your family.
xxqqqzme
(14,887 posts)You and your family's loss is felt by all here. Heartfelt condolences to all.
chowder66
(9,108 posts)al bupp
(2,206 posts)Your eulogy brings to mind this poem:
Dont think of him as gone away
his journeys just begun,
life holds so many facets
this earth is only one.
Just think of him as resting
from the sorrows and the tears
in a place of warmth and comfort
where there are no days and years.
Think how he must be wishing
that we could know today
how nothing but our sadness
can really pass away.
And think of him as living
in the hearts of those he touched
for nothing loved is ever lost
and he was loved so much.
BadgerMom
(2,772 posts)We lost our son at age 20 in 2003. The love doesnt go away, so neither does the pain. But it does gradually become easier to function.
Sending light, love, and empathy.
Me.
(35,454 posts)...
mac56
(17,575 posts)My deep condolences.
greatauntoftriplets
(175,776 posts)Please accept my deepest condolences. I had noticed your lack of posts since the election and wondered. But I never realized that you'd suffered such a profound loss.
We'll leave the light on for you.
farmbo
(3,122 posts)EOM
Joinfortmill
(14,520 posts)He sounds like a beautiful soul.
pnwest
(3,266 posts)all those who loved him. May you find solace in your memories.
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)Trueblue Texan
(2,453 posts)You write beautifully of a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your son with us.
yonder
(9,687 posts)It's every parent's worst fear. Peace to you and yours.
Wawannabe
(5,691 posts)gademocrat7
(10,688 posts)cayugafalls
(5,669 posts)May you always be well and let your loving memory remain.
2naSalit
(86,963 posts)My most sincere condolences to you and yours, Sir.
UCmeNdc
(9,602 posts)yardwork
(61,795 posts)As a mother of three boys, my heart goes out to you and your family.
subterranean
(3,427 posts)I hope it brings you some small comfort to share this loss with your friends in the DU Community.
lucca18
(1,246 posts)I am sorry for your pain.
Please take care....
calimary
(81,608 posts)I'm so sorry, dear Magistrate.
What a loss - for the world (said by the mother of a son who's also a guitar-player/lover, and was totally smitten by cars when he was little).
I'm so sorry. It's never easy to bear or understand. Especially something sudden and TOTALLY unexpected like this. The empty spot it leaves in your heart is beyond imagining. And it was your baby... I'm getting choked up as I write this.
I'm so sorry. Dear God...
I hate it when the world loses a musician.
area51
(11,944 posts)Lonestarblue
(10,170 posts)The loss of a loved one is never easy to bear, but somehow it seems so unfair when its our children who are lost before their time. Brendan was significant. May your memories of him keep him alive in your heart.
infullview
(982 posts)TxDemChem
(1,918 posts)Marie Marie
(9,999 posts)UserNotFound
(108 posts)I cannot fathom the depth of your loss. I like to consider myself an "educated" man, but I just don't have the words....
peggysue2
(10,853 posts)Though I've not lost a child, I came very, very close. I can recall the shock, the pain, the absolute sense of utter despair.
Sympathies to you and your family.
Ms. Toad
(34,130 posts)sueh
(1,829 posts)Your son was an amazing person. (((Hugs)))
Sugarcoated
(7,739 posts)Is a fine man. Sincere condolences, sir...xo
llmart
(15,569 posts)He sounds like he was an amazing man with many interests and intellectual curiosity. You could have been describing my own precious son. I can't imagine a pain that would be worse than losing him.
Please know that you are in my thoughts during this awful grief. Thank you for sharing his life story with us.
TexasTowelie
(112,707 posts)It's obvious that you were proud of and loved your son.
StarryNite
(9,476 posts)DinahMoeHum
(21,839 posts). . .we all will understand if you're not around here for awhile.
The Polack MSgt
(13,208 posts)Danmel
(4,943 posts)I cannot fathom your loss. I hope that seet memories of your beloved son will help sustain you.
seta1950
(933 posts)I know there are no words that I can say , to ease your pain, my deepest condolences to you and your family, he sounds fantastic.
Hekate
(91,042 posts)There are no words, except to say you and your will be in my heart and prayers.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)I can't imagine how painful it must be for you. That was a beautiful tribute to him. My deepest condolences to you and the rest of your family. May he rest in peace.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)I can't imagine how painful it must be for you. That was a beautiful tribute to him. My deepest condolences to you and the rest of your family. May he rest in peace.
CatLady78
(1,041 posts)marlakay
(11,540 posts)Sending a big online hug your way. Sounds like you have many wonderful memories of him.
handmade34
(22,759 posts)we lost our son last year... I feel your sorrow intimately
WheelWalker
(8,958 posts)and the wheel turns.
MustLoveBeagles
(11,687 posts)MLAA
(17,375 posts)Just sending love to you and all of Brendans family and friends.
stollen
(419 posts)Thank you for this beautiful insight into your beloved child.
IcyPeas
(21,955 posts)Jay25
(417 posts)Sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through.
KentuckyWoman
(6,700 posts)pbmus
(12,422 posts)R. P. McMurphy
(837 posts)Your tribute was very moving. Thanks for distilling this image of him for us. Blessings, protection and loving memories for you all.
Iggo
(47,597 posts)proud patriot
(100,717 posts)just love , light ,, and my deepest regrets .. Sir
3catwoman3
(24,133 posts)...leaves me in awe of your strength.
People always want to know if there is anything they can do at times like these, and there isnt much.
If I can offer any wisdom, it would be something I learned from my mother after my 23 yr old brother died unexpectedly in 1978. Some years later, she told me she found it helpful when friends and relatives spoke about him, shared memories and stories. She said it showed her that he was not forgotten, and that was of some comfort to her. She understood peoples reluctance to talk about him, fearing that they would make her sad, but she said she was already as sad as it was possible to be, and that she would rather talk about him than not.
iluvtennis
(19,912 posts)she lost two of her children. My heart goes out to you and your family.
people
(635 posts)It sounds like Brendan gave much of his good self to many many people and, of course particularly, you two. He sounds like someone very well immersed in his life and very, very good at it. So very sorry for this terrible loss.
summer_in_TX
(2,770 posts)I'm so sorry.
You made him so vivid for us with your description. I thought of my own sons and have been blinking back tears.
Blessings on you all, prayers for comfort, strength and peace.
Vadem
(2,596 posts)bluboid
(563 posts)just knowing wonderful people who care about the big issues & each other, from all over the country & world is more than anyone can ask for. what a beautiful tribute to your son. may he rest in peace.
Cracklin Charlie
(12,904 posts)Bless your hearts.
Edit: Have you considered a virtual remembrance? I ask because we set up a virtual Thanksgiving online for my mother in law, who has had some health issues. We are desperately trying to keep her safe.
Anyway, we set the page up Friday, and my mom in law woke up today to find 100 messages already, from around the USA, and from 3 other countries! There is photo sharing, a recipe page, and chat and video turkey will be added on Thursday. I havent seen or heard her so happy for a long time.
I just say this because it could leave a lasting remembrance for you and your family of your son that you could keep. My daughter set our page up, and I dont know how she did it, but someone could probably help you.
Mr. Evil
(2,865 posts)So sorry for your loss.
Gothmog
(145,965 posts)The loss of a child is a horrible tragedy. Your son sounds like an outstanding young man. I hope that you are able to hold a memorial for your son
Blue Owl
(50,596 posts)Be strong and remember the many wonderful things you mentioned in the lovely tribute you shared with us...
LuvLoogie
(7,078 posts)May his love and spirit be with you always.
BobTheSubgenius
(11,580 posts)I mean no harm or slight to you and your family, but I'm sure you know what I mean. It is just not the order of things, and is a tragedy that could hardly be greater.
I hope you and yours can find peace in the near time, and find some small measure of comfort from the outpouring of all the good hearts and souls here. I'm sure there will be many in your "real life" that will do what they can, as well. Probably some you don't even know of yet.
My deepest condolences.
Hiawatha Pete
(1,809 posts)My deepest, heartfelt sympathies to both you and and your family.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)That's absolutely terrible.
Bleacher Creature
(11,258 posts)SaveOurDemocracy
(4,400 posts)Peace and love.
W T F
(1,150 posts)My sincere condolences.
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)May he forever rest peacefully in your heart.
Mary Mac
(323 posts)Texin
(2,600 posts)mahina
(17,770 posts)Peace to your family and to him. Aloha no Sir.
karin_sj
(817 posts)My heart sank when I read your subject line. Thank you for telling us about your wonderful son. Im sorry that you lost him far too soon.
SunSeeker
(51,811 posts)Just the thought is too painful to even contemplate.
I am so sorry.
orleans
(34,098 posts)i'm so sorry
LuckyCharms
(17,472 posts)democrank
(11,115 posts)Rest In peace, dear Brendan.
catbyte
(34,546 posts)yowzayowzayowza
(7,018 posts)Sogo
(5,021 posts)Its an unfathomable loss.
RIP, Brendan.
AwakeAtLast
(14,134 posts)A beautiful tribute dear Magistrate! Sending love and hugs to you and your family!
orwell
(7,781 posts)...for a beautiful light.
My condolences to you and your family...
revmclaren
(2,579 posts)I am so very sorry.
KT2000
(20,605 posts)There are no words that will help right now, but you are in my thoughts.
BComplex
(8,092 posts)That is devastating, I know. I hold you and your whole family in my heart, and wish that every comfort might come your way at this time, to soften your heartbreak in any possible measure.
Your son sounds like such an amazing man, and was surely a remarkable boy. He was a light in an otherwise dark world, and we need more like him.
dalton99a
(81,708 posts)nclib
(1,014 posts)Holding you and your family in the light.
a la izquierda
(11,803 posts)A beautiful tribute to your son. My deepest sympathies to you.
GoneOffShore
(17,346 posts)LiberalLoner
(9,762 posts)Harker
(14,138 posts)majdrfrtim
(320 posts)Grief is not a mental illness, yet it can certainly *feel* like one, probably because every new grief reawakens every old grief.
My sincerest condolences.
Upthevibe
(8,108 posts)I am so very, very sorry to hear of the loss of your son.
YDogg
(6,683 posts)... to hear of the loss of your dear son Brendan. Peace to you and your family, Sir.
BlueMTexpat
(15,374 posts)your pain! Parents are not supposed to outlive their children.
My most sincere condolences to you and your family!
Maraya1969
(22,516 posts)What an amazing man your son was. I am truly sorry and I can only wish for you a peace that passes understanding during this very hard time.
sellitman
(11,611 posts)callous taoboy
(4,595 posts)Mike Niendorff
(3,463 posts)There is miles of subtext in what you have written here.
My heart goes out to you and yours.
MDN
lillypaddle
(9,581 posts)what a terrible loss for you and Brendan's family. May he rest in peace.
N_E_1 for Tennis
(9,804 posts)Alacritous Crier
(3,829 posts)grantcart
(53,061 posts)of someone'sI son who I have never met.
It is a reflection of how both how profound your testament of Brendan and how bright a light you shine at DU.
There are never enough Brendans so the untimely loss of even one demands our profound sadness and this Brendan will not go unnoticed or unbiased.
Thank you for sharing during an incalculable difficult time. Best wishes to to Mrs. Magistrate.
Buckeye_Democrat
(14,860 posts)panader0
(25,816 posts)What a blow. It's difficult to imagine. I saw , in your beautiful tribute, my own sons, and could not
help but imagine how I would feel if one died suddenly. I'm so sorry, typing through tears.
G_j
(40,372 posts)sl8
(14,037 posts)helpisontheway
(5,008 posts)sinkingfeeling
(51,498 posts)Silver Gaia
(4,552 posts)You have written a beautiful and moving tribute to your son. I wish I could offer words of comfort, but there just are no words. I watched my parents grieve the loss of my adult brother as I grieved for him myself. His death was also sudden and unexpected. This is a grief like no other. My heart is with you. May peace find you and enfold you.
kentuck
(111,111 posts)It is so difficult to understand how it happens so much to the good people.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)💔💖🙏🏾
Raster
(20,998 posts)randr
(12,418 posts)Your sharing of your love is the greatest tribute.
struggle4progress
(118,379 posts)Phentex
(16,334 posts)I feel your pain.
He sounds like a wonderful person.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
CaptainTruth
(6,619 posts)Mad_Dem_X
(9,579 posts)North Shore Chicago
(3,347 posts)My heartfelt condolences to you and all who loved him.
DonaldsRump
(7,715 posts)I am so sorry to hear this.
easttexaslefty
(1,554 posts)The death of a child, no matter the age, is the very worst
MissB
(15,813 posts)Your grief must be extensive, but your tribute to your son is beautiful.
kpete
(72,056 posts)-words cannot express loss but let me just say I see you, acknowledge your pain and the hearts of many of us here can feel it in your words.
sending love,
kp
Firestorm49
(4,041 posts)niyad
(113,966 posts)Kahuna
(27,313 posts)AmBlue
(3,133 posts)To you and your family. I am so sad to read this. Such a devastating loss to lose a child.... so out of the natural order.
Our family suffered similar when my 52yo brother died of melanoma, but did not share his 9 month battle with any of the family, confident he could beat it. Also, he did not want to be a burden or upset our ailing parents. We had no notice.
Hoping that with time you will find solace in your memories and the love of friends and family.
IronLionZion
(45,667 posts)Vinnie From Indy
(10,820 posts)Thank you for the background!
malthaussen
(17,241 posts)bigtree
(86,021 posts)...small comfort, but we are deeply touched by this tragedy and wish the best for you.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)NoRoadUntravelled
(2,626 posts)May you and yours be surrounded in peace and the comfort of loving memories as you move through the grievous loss of your Brendan.
ancianita
(36,238 posts)In your dark days I wish you and your family the peace of knowing how he loved you all, his life and your grandchildren. May you see him in their faces, feel him in their hugs.
Soph0571
(9,685 posts)riversedge
(70,464 posts)roamer65
(36,748 posts)mn9driver
(4,431 posts)I can only imagine your pain and grief at such an unexpected and terrible loss. You have friends here. Peace.
shenmue
(38,506 posts)CousinIT
(9,275 posts)What a magnificent son you raised. I know you're heartbroken but I'm still sending you and your family wishes for strength and peace at this extremely difficult time.
Deepest condolences to you and your family.
Duncan Grant
(8,297 posts)Sons consider themselves rich beyond all measure to have a father who knows their heart and mind. To be loved by such a man like you is to remove all manner of distress and hardship from a sons life. My heartfelt sympathies to you, sir.
PatSeg
(47,770 posts)I'm so sorry.
deek
(3,414 posts)I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope time will soften the edges of your sorrow.
sdfernando
(4,959 posts)I cannot fathom what you are going through right now. Time will help heal your hearts.
President Biden gave a speech on grief back in 2012 that is quite amazing. I hope these words from his speech are comforting.
"There will come a day, I promise you and your parents, as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen. My prayer for you is that day will come sooner or later.. But the only thing I have more experience than you in is this: Im telling you it will come.
Peace
LymphocyteLover
(5,665 posts)LaMouffette
(2,043 posts)curious man. This is not a bit surprising, from what I have gleaned about you yourself from your posts, which unfailingly gleam with intelligence and humanity, during my short time here on the DU forum.
My deepest condolences to you and your family!
flying_wahini
(6,712 posts)My thoughts are with you and yours. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
scuciti
(33 posts)Last edited Mon Nov 23, 2020, 04:42 PM - Edit history (1)
My God man... this just broke me like a twig. I am sitting here waiting for my own young sons to return to our home. They are everything to us, as I know Brendan was, is, to you.
This really is something that words are not able to express. We all stand at the edge of an abyss, and what is beyond we are not privileged to know. Brendan sounds like the light of the world man, I am truly sorry.
AnotherMother4Peace
(4,260 posts)OnlyLoveEndures
(11 posts)...therefore, our Souls, that which we are, are comprised of energy, which never dies. You will see your son again. Please watch IANDS NDE testimonies on YouTube (they have the best, well documented experiencers). Also read Brian Weiss, M.D.; Pim van Lommel, M.D.; Jeffery Long, M.D.; Dr. Bruce Greyson, of the University of Virginia, who has collected over 1000 cases of NDEs over his long career; and, the University of Southhampton in UK, who published results of world's largest Near Death Experiences study. These are just a few.
I hope you will find comfort in this understanding and it that it will sustain you until you meet your son again.
LeftInTX
(25,812 posts)I cannot imagine your pain
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)Aw,
I am so very sorry. 2020 has been the worst year of my entire life. The loss has been too great. My heart is just sorrow. I am sorry for your loss. Please accept my prayers.
Freedomofspeech
(4,230 posts)I was a teenager when my brother passed...I watched my parents pain. Sending you love and peace in your heart.
AmericanCanuck
(1,102 posts)It must be painful beyond imagination ... but I hope you find the pain diminish with time.
May your wonderful son rest in peace.
live love laugh
(13,221 posts)cally
(21,601 posts)Words cant convey how much empathy and concern for you and your family. It is a tragic loss and devastating loxx
Dark n Stormy Knight
(9,776 posts)I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Marthe48
(17,129 posts)I hope you all find a way forward, including comfort and peace.
elias7
(4,037 posts)So much, so sudden... for a parent, a spouse, a child...
I can never respond to these threads, what does one say? But for you, I must make an exception. I hope my lack of eloquence is understood...
lostnfound
(16,203 posts)Seriously horrified to hear that you lost your son.
I guess his life was too short but beautiful. May he be remembered on earth and joyful in heaven.
essaynnc
(804 posts)I cannot imagine having to go through the death of your son. My condolences.
kimmylavin
(2,284 posts)I'm so very sorry.
R B Garr
(17,019 posts)Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ninga
(8,282 posts)grief you and your family are enduring.
Many heartfelt condolences.
💔
mia
(8,363 posts)Rest in Peace, Brendan.
stuffmatters
(2,574 posts)Thank you for sharing Brendan with us in your beautiful tribute.
Alliepoo
(2,238 posts)As a parent that has lost a child, our sweet Becky, our firstborn, I understand the soul shattering pain youre going through. Please accept my sincere condolences. I am so very sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone. Im holding you and your family close in my thoughts.
Response to The Magistrate (Original post)
Alliepoo This message was self-deleted by its author.
Cary
(11,746 posts)mr_lebowski
(33,643 posts)That was a wonderful eulogy, I'm deeply touched by your words.
Brendan ... pass gently ...
friendly_iconoclast
(15,333 posts)hurl
(939 posts)live on through you and your family. His voice will continue.
The Magistrate
(95,268 posts)Thank you.
Rhiannon12866
(206,877 posts)Your tribute to your beloved and remarkable son was eloquent and touching. I cannot imagine how difficult that was to write, but thank you for sharing with your DU family. Like the others, my heart goes out to you and SheWhoMustBeObeyed and take care of yourself and each other. M'Sahib
carburyme
(146 posts)My heart goes out to you Magistrate. I dont post much here but I just came out to express my sincere condolences to you and your family. As a mother my heart bleeds for you. I have no words to offer that can lighten the pain in your heart but Ill keep you in my thoughts prayers..
Tommy_Carcetti
(43,232 posts)My deepest condolences for your loss.
hlthe2b
(102,562 posts)In a year full of tragedy, yours truly brings it home.
As you take your break from DU, know that we are thinking of you and wish you the peace that can only come from time and a lifetime of good memories with your son.
I look forward to welcoming you back upon your return.
Celerity
(43,771 posts)the grief and sorrow that must arise from the loss of a child. May you celebrate the memories that emanated from your times spent with him.