I think I just had phone sex! Someone called and asked for Larry! I said "there's no Larry here!"

[ohiosmith]

She said "fuck you!" I said "well fuck you!" and hung up! Not very satisfying if you ask me!

[In_The_Wind]

1. Well,

I didn't hang up on you, when you called me. [img][/img]

just sayin' [img][/img]

[ohiosmith]

4. Shhhhhhh!

[siligut]

2. OMG ohiosmith. Didn't anyone ever tell you?

When a woman calls asking if you are Larry, you say yes. Got it? Yes . . . how hard can that be? Geesh.

[ohiosmith]

5. Now you tell me!

[pipi_k]

3. This is why

I advocate for phonesturbation.

Call your cell phone from your house phone and indulge in whatever phone sex fantasies you want with your own self. For as long as you want.

Then take yourself out for dinner.

Or maybe to the kitchen for whatever is in the fridge.

[ohiosmith]

6. I can do that!

[siligut]

11. I thought you were going to recommend he put his cell on vibrate

Then put it down his pants and call himself repeatedly.

That is phonesturbation.

The dining after is a nice touch.

[pipi_k]

13. Really?

I didn't know that!

Has anyone ever called himself so many times the battery overheated and exploded?

That would suck.

[siligut]

14. Like those primates who will forego food?

Electrodes attached to the pleasure center of the primate's brain and then activated by a lever . . .

[ohiosmith]

29. You can put it on vibrate! I just got strange looks when I walked around with my pants ringing!

[nolabear]

21. Yes. They shape the cell phone differently for us wimmens, but don't tell anybody.

[In_The_Wind]

22. Well, somebody should suggest it to cell phone manufactures.

imo [img][/img]

[ohiosmith]

28. I can put it on vibrate?

[antiquie]

15. coffee spitter

[libodem]

7. Sounds like a quickie

[ohiosmith]

8. Indeed! Perhaps better on a party line!

[libodem]

9. now you're talking

Phone orgies. Very wild.

[ohiosmith]

10. As long as you're not put on hold!

[libodem]

12. not that heavy breathing

Again. Boring. All day? This phone sex thing is not turning me on at all.

[In_The_Wind]

16. ~ ~ ~

[ohiosmith]

19. There was heavy breathing! I thought she had asthma!

[libodem]

23. hee hee hee

Where is that inhaler?

[ohiosmith]

26. Can never find it when you need it!

[MiddleFingerMom]

17. 'Fess up -- that's the LONGEST relationship you've had in many years... decades, even.

[ohiosmith]

18. And your point is?

[Dr. Strange]

20. You should have thought of baseball.

It might have lasted longer.

[libodem]

24. Or your collie dog

Bounding over the hill, like in Confederacy of Dunces.

[ohiosmith]

27. Damn! Baseball! I usually think of the 100 yard dash!

[SEMOVoter]

25. That sounds worse than pre-ketchulate, you know...

The watery stuff that gets all over the fries on the first squirt of ketchup.

I hate when that happens.

[ohiosmith]

30. You gotta admit,.....the sound it makes is a turn on!

[mikeytherat]

31. Make your hand numb, then masturbate. Because it feels like someone else's hand, this is called...

The Stranger.

mikey_the_rat

[ohiosmith]

32. Bwahahahaha!

[mikeytherat]

33. Got that one from a drummer who subbed with us one night.

Per Green Room tradition, he was informed he must add something a bit blue to the dialog. He gave us "The Stranger," God bless him!



mikey_the_rat

[ohiosmith]

34. Him and poor circulation!