Embarrassing Medical Exams!
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
elderly and slightly deaf femaile patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' . . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' . . . replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive. '
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked,
' So how's your breakfast this morning? '
'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.' Bob replied
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly'.
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit ,
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered . . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . . ' Keep off the grass. '
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN no name,
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam
suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said,
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you? '
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .
' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener . '
Dr. wouldn't submit his name....
1 MORE
Baby's First Doctor Visit
This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the
doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied..
' Well, strip down to your waist, ' the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk. '
I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,
But I'm glad I came.'
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= new reply since forum marked as read
Loved the last one.
One for me and the other for my father.
you know where you can find me!
Without reading first. I could glance at the next few words and started laughing before I could finish. I got myself under control and finished the joke and we both were laughing so hard. I had tears from laughing so hard. And this was for every joke.
Excellent!!!! Thank you for my laughs before going to bed. Wonderful feeling. Please find more like them.
I still have my appendix. 
THERE'S A FUNGUS AMONG US!!!
P.S., My husband gets yeast overgrowth whenever he takes antibiotics, which he did recently for pneumonia. He's really struggling to banish the yeast. It's in his mouth, and once invaded his esophagus etc. BAD news.
So glad you got over your shyness
