He is getting rid of me after 10 years.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

He says he is tiered of me. That I am not a good housekeeper and am now bring nothing to the table.
He was going to call the cops to get rid of me last night. I begged him to please get me a bus ticket back to Joplin instead.

I am loosing my Food stamps due to a paperwork err. They refuse to admit they messed up. I will loose them for a year. My sisters is not talking to me back in Joplin due to Dave alienate them as it is. My Dad.. well that is it own thing.

This is the work of one person of course. This Chad guy. He has divorced recently. His ex told me if Dave kept being such a cum with him that he would ruin my relationship. She gave me step by step on what would happen. She even bet me $10 that it would happen just like she said. And it has.

After all we have been through. He is just getting rid of me because I can't give him some sort of money. He hurting me just because I am not one of those super perfect cleaning wives. But I never been. This Chad guy had pointed out all my "faults". and had blown them up in Dave's head. Things that was never a big deal is suddenly.

This Chad guy has taken away my happiness. In 2 weeks, since Dave got a job with the VA, he will through me on a bus with just the cloths on my back and I will go to my old home town alone and a failure. He says with the way I destroyed his life, that is all I deserve.

My heart is broke, my pride is gone, my mental state is wrecked. Why?????? All I did to keep us together. Now I am trash??? He is throwing me away!

[Taverner]

1. Big hug from a friend

I am so sorry.

If you want to chat I'll send you my info via PM.

This sucks.

You are not a failure - don't let anyone, including yourself, ever convince you of that

[Lady Freedom Returns]

3. I don't know what I am going to do now.

MY resume is shot. Can't get my Transcripts. I will be on the streets alone. Alone in my old hometown where I was once someone.

I got rid of Facebook so know I can't beg for forgiveness from my sisters.

[Taverner]

4. Why would you need their forgiveness?

[Lady Freedom Returns]

8. THey told me he was going to hurt me in time.

I refused to believe them. He did a lot to drive me and them apart. Now I think I see what they were telling me. I just never believe he would hurt me. I really though he would ever throw me away.

But with Chad doing what he has done...

I heard them talking last night. That Monster came over while he thought I was asleep. He was telling Dave how much I was like his ex wife and he is glad Dave is taking his advice. That he was telling him since they met in the Shelter that Dave needed to dump me.

That Dave can get a way hotter and richer women than me. He has some women for Dave to meet as soon as I am on that bus. It was killing me!

And my sisters told me that something was wrong with the way Dave was. We got into some really bad fights over this. I just hope they will forgive me and help me.

[SwissTony]

22. Hi, we don't know each other, but can you contact them and just say

"Hey, you were right. I was wrong. I should have listened to you"?

Might make a world of difference.

I wish you all the best.

[HipChick]

2. ugh..

Men!..

[Lady Freedom Returns]

14. I don't know what to do now.

Why is he getting rid of me and listening to this Chad guy. Why are they so chummy? This guy is the kind Dave used to never want anything to do with. Why????

[HipChick]

18. I'm sorry

I gave up on men...I have less headache...I have an ex that still stalks me...I dunno what is wrong with them..

[kwassa]

5. I am very sorry to hear this.

You destroyed his life? Sounds like Dave takes no responsibility for his own actions. Why is he living out Chad's script?

It might be hard to see this now, but if Dave is like this, he is probably not worth being with. Right now you have a heap of troubles on your plate.

This really sucks.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

13. It hurts for him to say it.

I was the breadwinner for a long time. even when the recession hit I was able to work. I had two jobs and was a full time student when we met. Dave did part time stuff. He did get one full time gig at a convenient store once. Lasted two years till the owner sold it and the new owners fired everyone.

But I always came threw. Now I am in a new place with none of my old contacts. It has not been as easy as it was for me. He is the one that came from this area. He said he would help me because he knew this was not my area. He was the one with old family friends.

But now, he has broken all the things he said.

[JanMichael]

6. You need to get outside of his hearing, and call the local women's shelter NOW

ask them to advise you on how to get pro-bono legal services. After 10 years, you are probably due a little more than the clothes on your back. A judge isn't going to ask you how your mopping skills are. It hurts, but it will hurt less to land on your feet.

Your SO sounds like a sorry piece of shit; now...Imagine having some money and being the hell away from that clown.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

11. Dave has the phone right now.

And that home wreaker is here using it right now.

It is an Obamaphone. That jerk better not use up all the dam minutes.

He was here last night. I have no clue why he is back this morning! This guy is scaring me.

[hollysmom]

7. I am confused - what is your relationship to this guy?

wife - there are laws and free lawyers see one before leaving.

girlfriend - if you have been together 10 years - check local law,you might be common law wife.

employee - offer your services to neighbors - you might be surprised.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

9. He has been my senifacant other for 10 years.

We never really tied the knot. We never really felt the need to. But the US government does recognize us as a couple due to the HUD/VASH program.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

10. why isn't he the one leaving to move in with the almighty Chad?

I don't get it.

It is your home, too.

He wants something different. Shouldn't he be the one to leave?

[Lady Freedom Returns]

12. Yes and no.

This is a HUD/VASH housing set up. with Dave being the Vet, he is primary. I am secondary. I can get tossed at anytime, as I am now.

[MrScorpio]

15. I'm so sorry

So very sorry

[Aristus]

16. Oh, LFR...

I'm so sorry...

I don't know what to say...

[Lady Freedom Returns]

23. I don't know either.

The guy is here NOW! He is talking to Dave in the kitchen. I don't know what this time.

[noamnety]

17. I have a very small suggestion for you.

I would edit out names here, and remove some of the personally identifying information from your profile. Sometimes we all need to vent and doing it anonymously on a forum works for a lot of people and I don't think there's any harm in that. But when you start combining it with information that can be used to identify you personally, it can add to problems with family, friends, potential future employers. I would hate to see a rant here end up affecting your future job prospects - and it's the sort of thing you might never even know had happened.

[femmocrat]

24. I agree. Too much personal information.

Sorry for your difficult circumstances, LFR. Unfortunately there was a poster who lost her job for posting a rant here a couple of years ago. You never know who is reading.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. oh yeah, I remember that.

That was not a good scene at all.

[Lisa D]

19. First, he is blameshifting

and trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Don't let him.

Second, please see if you can find some free legal aid in your area to get some advice. You need to know your rights and what he can and can't do. Especially if you have a joint bank account, joint car or property, etc.. Knowledge is power.

You are not trash. He's just trying to make *himself* feel better by trying to blame you. Don't let him talk to you like that--leave the room.

[Denninmi]

20. That is rough.

So sorry you are going through this. Things can be so unfair.

[In_The_Wind]

21. I'm so sorry! You don't deserve being treated like that!

[ConcernedCanuk]

25. I used to have one of those bug deflector things on the hood of my 4x4

.
.
.

It read

"Just another FlushaBye Guy"

some people thought I was in the diaper business,

but to those that asked I explained it to them.

Some girls shit on me then threw me away.

Don't blame yourself.

Keep your pride.

and hope.

be well

CC

[rug]

26. Nobody can throw you away.

All he can do is be a scumbag.

Hunker down until you see which way to go.

[handmade34]

27. ...

[R B Garr]

29. Be careful - they may be trying to provoke you so they can call the cops

I'm not trying to be paranoid, but if they are strategizing, that is a pretty common tactic -- provoke someone who is an understandable emotional state and then use your reaction against you by calling the cops on you and trying to get a police report they can use against you for whatever reason. It sounds like you're thinking things through, so just keep your business head instead of an emotional head to beat them at their own game(s).

About your contacts -- you can get them back. I'm in a similar boat about a 6 year relationship I'm going to be dumping because he didn't keep his word on some things from the beginning, and I'm not going to put up with it anymore. Whose idea was it to not get married? Was that okay with you? Yet, now is not the time to be looking back so much as looking forward, but you might realize that this was a long time coming and you tolerated things because you thought the two of you were a team, whereas he had other intentions.

You can get back in with your sisters, and you can get your contacts back. Every moment and every move you make should be for self-preservation at this point. It's easier said then done, but you can do it. I saw some signs years ago that I ignored, but no more. We can do this!

[Lady Freedom Returns]

32. I think your right.

It is mainly that guy that is pushing things right now.

Bad part is that he is using advice they he gave me as ammo with Dave.

At first he seemed like a OK guy, he did kind of put me off, but I trusted Dave to not bring in a bad person into our lives. He gave me what seemed like good advice. But somehow that advice turned bad and last night I over heard him say things like "How could she do...." "Or what was she thinking,,,," in other words, he set me up and Dave is eating it up.

I don't know why this guy is doing this, but he has/ is playing us. it hurts

[hollysmom]

30. before I got divorced

my husband was hyper critical of me, every thing I did was wrong - he had to see things that way to divorce me, if he were nice, he would not want to leave, I don't think it was deliberate, I just did not measure up to the woman he wanted 20 years younger and pure and good. After the divorce it was another story, she became the bitch and I was the angel who should care for him. But it was over for me, I had no desire to deal with anyone who could be so cruel again. Self respect, it is important. can't let someone else define you. it was a midlife crisis, but hey, not mine.

It was not the best marriage, but it was not the worst. After his mother died, things changed a bit and he tried to force me to replace her and then complained I was getting older. You can't be responsible for others psychological ills.

You can not let these people define you. Having friends helps. The support of friends has always helped me over the years. Turn to them,. true friends will help you.

[GreenPartyVoter]

31. I am so very sorry! *hugs* We here in the Lounge know that you

are anything but trash!!

[Quantess]

33. I am so sorry that you are hurting.

This is really, really, tough, I know. And the hurt will be around a while. But try to see it as a ticket to your freedom from a man who doesn't appreciate you.

Do this to help yourself get over him: Think of his least attractive qualities and put it together into a catch-phrase. Such as, Chad the "flabby, self-righteous, milquetoast" or whatever fits. You don't have to tell anyone else, just keep the nickname to yourself.

And then promise to be your own best friend and to take good care of yourself!

[Demo_Chris]

34. I have no good advice...

Other than to try and be strong and SMART.

Something weird is going on here, you clearly don't understand it, but my gut is telling me you don't need to understand you just need to get the hell away from there. If nothing else, it's not healthy. You don't have to be perfect to be treated like you are, you can be as fucked up and worthless as the rest of us and still DESERVE to be treated with decency and love and respect.

So screw these two clowns, don't waste a minute trying to understand them or their complaints, and get the hell out of there.

GOOD LUCK, and remember that you have friends here who can probably help if you need it.

Just keep us posted.

[grasswire]

35. can you use a pay phone if you need to?

Or maybe a neighbor woman would let you use a phone. If I were you I would get the number of the hot line for the women's shelter and carry it in my pocket. For emergency help.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

37. Better!

Ticket on a Greyhound away from him!

[NuclearDem]

36. I'm so, so sorry

I wish I could do more, but at least know you're not alone. We're all here for you.

[Broken_Hero]

38. I'm very sorry,

it sounds like there are deeper issues here, and he is just blaming multiple things to spread the blame on you, rather than himself.

Joplin is almost back to normal since the Tornado, I'm sure the city will be happy to have you back. Take care, and be safe....

[Lady Freedom Returns]

39. I just keep remembering my plan.

get my health checked on. (Been having some trouble in my right leg as of late)

Get a job and learn to drive.

Learn how to use a motorcycle.

Get my camera equipment again.

Sell my book(s).

Then come back to Tucson.

I think most will be done in five years top!

[walkerbait41]

40. I`m sorry I`m not much help

I just want to send you a hug