"As I was telling Thomas Jefferson...." in other words, MY BOOK IS OUT!

[DFW]

I don't know to what extent I'm allowed to give out information without it being unpaid advertising, so if anyone wants links to the web site, Amazon paperback or Kindle listing, please PM me.

I lose my anonymity with this so I may have to withdraw from DU altogether soon. I will have to see. If people can separate the author of the book (i.e. me) from the character you know as DFW, then maybe I'll stick around. But that's not an immediate concern.

My book is called "THE TIME CELLAR." The cover has a bottle of Château Lafite, 1870, surrounded by concentric rings, transparent images of an imaginary French woman from the mid 19th century and Thomas Jefferson, and they are all surrounded by images of coins that come up in the story.

The book is a combination romance, sci-fi (time travel), collector's pipe dream (wine and coins), historical fiction, with some snide social commentary thrown in here and there. Republicans won't like it much, since I always liked Jefferson a LOT.

I'll give you a synopsis which is taken from the one on the Kindle site:

Robert Packard, born in Los Angeles in 1974, love-starved wine nerd, frustrated physicist, and over-qualified gofer for a California law firm in the year 2010, suddenly gets two accidental windows to the past: Château Lafite in 1860, and Monticello, Virginia in 1818. They appear courtesy of the proverbial "Dark and Stormy Night."

Not yet knowing if animate beings can cross through unscathed, he enlists the help of a local coin expert, and obtains the vintage coins to buy impossibly fresh wine from the Bordeaux vineyards in 1860 and "30 year old" wine from the 18th century directly from the cellar of his new friend, Thomas Jefferson. Hearing Robert is from California, and knowing only the geography of 1818, Jefferson compliments Robert on his English ("You speak impeccable English for a Mexican&quot . Robert has some history to fill in.

Fluent in French, Robert also falls in love with a 28 year old vineyard worker's daughter in 1860 Bordeaux, France, born in 1832 ("You may start in with the 'older woman' comments any time&quot , but doesn't know if it's safe to go visit her in person. She helpfully offers the involuntary services of "Minou" to test the portal's tolerance of animate beings.

Robert (now "Ro-BAIR&quot sells the rare vintage wine from his non-existent secret "cellar" to a crooked expert whose shop is on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, and becomes an instant multi-millionaire.

This brings with it the irritating consequences of a visit from the IRS, divorce proceedings from his soon-to-be ex-wife, and credible threats from thugs hired by the wine dealer, who can't stand not knowing the true owner of Robert's fabulous wine cellar.

Coping as best he can, Robert's only friends are a 75-year-old retired Thomas Jefferson, his genius Guatemalan assistant Juanita Chang (whose ex taught her Cantonese), her brother, who knows the secrets of "maa shalats," whatever that might be, a lawyer nicknamed Zorro, and the owner of the local rare coin shop.

Robert gets a crash course in rare coins, 21st century legalities, and 19th century rural French etiquette. His wit and humor sustain him through his journey from contented mediocrity to sudden wealth and danger, with a surprise appearance by the Little Old Lady From Pasadena, who turns out not to be from anywhere near Pasadena.

His wild whirlwind journey through a few dozen changes in life culminate in a surprise ending that is anything but obvious.

Readers are offered fair warning from none other than Spider-Man creator, Stan Lee: “Hey, Marc—I hate you! Now I can’t even look at a glass of wine without thinking of your furshlugginer story!!!”
----------------------------

I also got nice comments from Howard Dean and Adrian Cronauer (the real one, not Robin Williams in character).

If any of you DUers read it and like it, feel free to say something on the Amazon site, the book's website, or here on DU under "Good Reads." If you hate it, well, I still have my day job

[pinboy3niner]

1. In your case, aren't Howard Dean and Adrian Cronauer the obligatory "friend" blurbs?

And where's Stan Lee? His silence is very telling!

Just kidding. Congratulations on publication and good luck with it!

[DFW]

3. You're 100% correct, but..........

Adrian warned me that he would be brutally frank if he didn't like it, and I said gulp and told him it was a chance I would take.

Stan is there--read the post carefully!!

Thanks for the well-wishes. It'll be an interesting experience.

[pinboy3niner]

8. Read the post? I was saving that for later. :)

We know you here as an excellent writer and storyteller, so I'm almost not surprised that you got published, as difficult as that is. I hope you get a lot of good notices and reviews to boost sales. A book tour is probably way too much to hope for, though wouldn't it be cool to meet DUers and other readers around the country and sign their books?

There are many book fairs featuring many authors (we have a big one sponsored by the L.A. Times), so some travel opportunities may not be entirely out of the question for you.

Again, congratulations and best of luck!

[DFW]

11. That would be an honor

Though with my day job being in Europe most of the time, I doubt my employers would be thrilled with the idea of me doing book signings in North America! LOL

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. Yay, my dear DFW!

Both my husband and I are so thrilled that your book is out! We were honored to be able to read the original!

It is an amazing combination of history, romance, time-travel, intrigue and what not!

I highly recommend it.

[DFW]

4. Your words in the rest of DU's ear, dear Peggy

I'm STILL keeping my day job!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Does Amazon have the feature for your book where you can read some pages?

It would be very worth-while to post such a link if they do.

Congrats!

[DFW]

25. No idea on that

Good question. I think Kindle does, though!!

You are one of the very few who HAVE read the book, so your recommendation goes (I hope!) a long way on DU.

[shireen]

20. time travel?

Did you say time travel?

[pinboy3niner]

21. Why not?

It worked for H. G. Wells.

[DFW]

23. It was worth it just to be able to write conversations with Thomas Jefferson

It beats reading his letters to John Adams!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. Congratulations, DFW !!

Dallas/Fort Worth or David Foster Wallace ... your user name is an homage

[DFW]

10. I don't think I'm in David Foster Wallace's league

But if I manage to give people a fun ride and leave them with a smile on their faces at the end and a few laughs in between, then I'll consider it to be "Mission Accomplished."

[truedelphi]

14. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^n/t

[CherokeeDem]

7. Congrats....

Can't wait to read it!

[DFW]

9. Thanks! Hope you have a great time with it!

I hoped to give everyone a feel-good ride through history and politics with it. Let me (and DU) know how I did!

[WinkyDink]

12. Congratulations! What a great accomplishment!!

[DFW]

13. Thanks, but the "acomplishment" part comes later

Like, for example, when I get a few hundred DU comments saying how cool the book was!

[truedelphi]

15. I'm gonna be weighing in as soon as Amazon ships it out.

I can't imagine it being anything other than superb.

[DFW]

16. Thanks for the vote of confidence!!

I hope it lives up to your expectations!

[pinboy3niner]

18. Cool book, dude!

And when I actually manage to get and read a copy, I'll post that again.

[rhett o rick]

17. If you use Amazon please remember to use Amazon Smile (smile.amazon.com). They will donate to

the charity of your choice (if it's registered) for no extra charge to you.

[DFW]

22. I don't have one registered but I'll check it out

A friend of ours is a doctor and donates time to Doctors Without Borders, so I'll probably choose that.

[DFW]

24. Update--this is now done

Thanks for the heads-up. Doctors without Borders it is.

[rhett o rick]

26. Very cool, but you understand that the purchaser chooses who they want

Amazon to donate to. Sorry for any confusion, but I intended my post for those that purchase the book. But you can remind those that buy about Amazon Smile and mention Doctors Without Borders as a possible choice.

My charity of choice when I buy from Amazon Smile is our local foodbank.

[DFW]

27. Ah, OK, I didn't get how that worked

So it'll by applied when I purchase something. That works for me, too.

[shireen]

19. Congratulations!

You've worked long and hard on it ... I'm so glad it's finally been published. And I'm looking forward to reading it.

I don't read novels. I know, I'm weird. But for you, DFW, I'll make an exception. It's in my Amazon cart but I can't buy it till I reach a total of $35 in other purchases to qualify for free shipping.

[panader0]

28. Very cool!

"I lose my anonymity with this"--At last! I will know the secrets of DFW!
I'll be buying a copy-congrats.

[DFW]

32. You'll be disappointed

I'm not really 007, even if Madison was 004 (you'll see).

[antiquie]

29. Just started reading on Kindle.

[DFW]

31. Ah, the test of fire!

Hope you have as much fun with it as I did with the various characters in there!

[demmiblue]

30. K&R!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

33. Got the Kindle version, started reading last night.

It's very funny!

[DFW]

34. "Jitterbug perfume" was one of my peripheral inspirations

It shows

[Phentex]

35. Congratulations!

That's exciting!

[Brother Buzz]

36. Huzzah! I thought of you yesterday when I saw Stan Lee's poster in the library

I'll be using my to card to catch your book

[DFW]

37. Stan has helped, in his own inimitable way.

He also demanded the lead role in the film when it comes out.

I told him we'd talk about it..........

[ailsagirl]

38. Congratulations!!

[DFW]

39. Well, this is humbling

I was just contacted by a collectors' blog in France and the editor has just ordered a copy. I explained to him that only about 5% of the book was in French and he said je me débrouille (I'll manage)!

By the way, for all of you kind souls who have already ordered it, ALL the French, Spanish and Basque in there is translated!! Fear not, I did not intend for this to be a redux of "A Clockwork Orange."