how do you feel about birthdays?

[orleans]

specifically, i mean your own birthday

basically, i hate them. i hate the passage of time and years--i find it terribly depressing. and i hate getting older.

a friend of mine loves his birthdays--he has no problem with getting older and sometimes i think he'd like to wear it like a badge of honor. but he is a glass is half full type of person.

i'm the opposite.

maybe i should just try harder to see it differently--to think that i have managed to live all this time! and another entire year! and regardless of what i have or have not done or accomplished, another year in and of itself is quite an accomplishment.

when it comes to other people's birthdays, and celebrating them, i'm okay--i'm happy for them. when it comes to mine it feels lonely, sad, and very doom-and-gloomish.

seems i've never really liked them. from the time i was around fourteen or fifteen i recall never wanting to turn 18 & become "legal." i wanted to stay young even when i was young.

so i'm just curious as to how others *really* feel about their birthdays.

[whistler162]

1. As long as I get what I want

I am okay.

And like in 2008 I want people to vote, preferably for a Democrat but mostly for them to vote on my birthday.

[antiquie]

2. I love my birthdays. I never thought I would get to be this old.

It certainly is better than not having a birthday...

[Jamaal510]

3. Ditto, mostly.

They're an opportunity for getting gifts, except I never get much because everyone in my family is broke. Even when I do get a gift, I feel guilty about not having the money to give the other person a gift in return on his/her b-day.
Also, yeah, they make me feel old, too. Even though I'm 24, I feel old as I run into more people who are younger than me at school and online.

[orleans]

4. prepare yourself about that feeling old part. it can get more intense with each decade.

[Callmecrazy]

23. Very true...

The whole mid-life crisis thing is real and you know when you're going through it. At least I did/do.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. It's better than not having them.

But I don't really celebrate them. I don't care much about acknowledging that milestone; I'm still here and it doesn't matter much any more whether anyone else actually notices my birthday.

[orleans]

6. ...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. My dear orleans!

I must say that I love birthdays, mine, yours, my grandchildren, anyone I know and love!

I love getting things! Last year I turned 70 and my family knew I wanted a big party. We had one and it was a blast! We had done the same thing for my husband on his 70th, and we had so much fun!

I guess it's because I'm so happy to be alive. A birthday is a great gift.

I'm sorry you don't enjoy them...

[orleans]

8. i'm trying to change my downer attitude about them. one would think i'd at least be

resigned to them by now. but it's always like i have a birthday grudgingly.

lol. i can imagine the irony that if and when i finally come to terms with them--that i'm actually happy about it... BAM! i don't get the chance to have another one.

see? that's how i look at things sometimes (fairly often really)--dark and well, depressing or creepy.

(no big deal, i guess. it all helps to feed my imagination & creative spirit)

[Ron Obvious]

9. I'm like you...

I made sure nobody even knew my birthday except for the family members I grew up with. Now that I'm older, most of those family members are gone and there's virtually nobody left to remember my birthday. I'm actually a bit sad about that now. Maybe I should have been more forthcoming all along...

[Rhythm]

10. I'm fairly apathetic about mine most years...

Yeah, i'm middle-aged, and surprised that i have made it this far (i was a bit of a wildling when i was a teen/young adult)...
'Celebrating' my birthday now is not a big deal, but i don't fundamentally loathe it either. A day-off from work and a small family dinner and cake is more than sufficient... presents aren't at all necessary, since i live modestly and my 'needs' are minimal.

Our family tradition (for the grown-ups, anyway) is to throw a big production on the birthdays that end in 5 or 0 (my next one will be in 2 yrs), and those are always a hoot -- though never under any circumstance would i want to do that ~every~ year.

[JonLP24]

11. Just another day to me

I don't care or hope for any gifts or any sort of acknowledgement since it is already heavily implied. Same with Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I don't ever give gifts because of those days which is out-of-place with the people that have been and around me. I do give gifts at random times because I want to, I always been generous when I could afford to be which made me a target to be taken advantage of early on but I learned that if I did or gave something to someone it had to be because I wanted to & not because I hoped for something that wasn't agreed to. Doing this-this-or-that and expecting people to kiss my ass isn't much better. I found that middle ground, anything else when it comes to gifts is there are sometimes other stuff tied to it -- a common gift giving complaint is someone getting a gift that they'd mostly use or for something that was also in their benefit.

[Trailrider1951]

12. I love my birthdays!

One day after Thanksgiving, I will turn 63. I find getting older incredibly liberating! My children are all married and employed, with children of their own. No more worrying about which decision to make regarding their future...they make those decisions now, and I'm good with that!

No more worrying about my stinkin' career. I ditched that and my sociopathic boss last year and took early retirement. Thanks to Social Security and my small pension, I can now be what I always wanted to be - an artist - and not a starving one either.

No more worrying about being attractive to the opposite sex. Frankly, my dear, I just don't give a damn anymore. I can now be just friends with anyone and everyone. Let them speak to my mind and not my wrinkly bod.

On the other hand, my vision sucks and my hearing is shot. Thank God for reading glasses and volume controls!

As always, your mileage may vary...but you can always come party with me! Just don't count on me being awake after 9 pm....

[bigwillq]

13. Love it.

I love days all about me!!!

[malthaussen]

14. It never hurts to celebrate someone's existance.

"Happy Birthday" is one way of saying "I'm glad you're alive."

Which doesn't really answer your question. I pretty much ignore my own. I hate making a fuss over rites-of-passage.

-- Mal

[mwdem]

15. After surviving two different cancers in the past 8 years...

I celebrate my birthdays! Getting older is something I've learned to embrace. ☺

[Arugula Latte]

16. Mixed feelings.

I'm well into middle age and remember and miss the feeling of excitement and endless possibilities I had in my youth. I have a lot of anxiety about the future (because of our country's basic lack of safety net and the difficulty of "making it" financially, global warming, etc.) Yet, I now realize that "aging is a privilege" -- especially to age with good health as I have had so far. Not everyone is so lucky. I think of those I know who have died far too young, or those my age who have chronic health problems, and I feel lucky that so far I've made it so far, so I try to focus on that.

[RebelOne]

17. At the age of 75 I hate them, but on the other hand,

I am glad to have made it to this age and hopefully at least another 10 years.

[orleans]

19. i hope you make it another ten years too!

[RebelOne]

25. Thanks. I'd like to make it to 20 years, but 10 would do. n/t

[shenmue]

18. Pretty neat

It's like a whole national holiday based around how great I am!

[WinkyDink]

20. I wax sentimental every November 5.

[fizzgig]

21. i don't really care about them

it's better than the alternative, but it's not anything i make any sort of deal about. my dad, sister and i all have our birthdays within nine days of each other, so we do one combined dinner out and swap cards.

[haele]

22. Love other people's - don't want a big deal on mine.

I'm more of a gift giver than a gift reciever. Also, for twenty five years of my life, I either had duty or was working deployed pretty much every time my birthday came around, so it never was good to advertise that I was experiancing a birthday, so I got out of the habit of "celebrating". Now, the baby's birthday is two days after mine, so she gets all the attention, and it's not a problem.

Haele

[trof]

24. After I had 70 of them, not so much.

I guess three score and ten is a bit of a milestone.
Since then I'd just as soon forget about a celebration.

[PassingFair]

26. Today is my birthday....

Happy Birthday to Me!

I love birthdays.

[Throd]

34. H F B!

[orleans]

37. crap! i missed your birthday!!!

[Wounded Bear]

27. They've never been a big thing for me...

I've never celebrated them much, which kind of bleeds over to my feelings about others and their b-days. That saddens me a bit, but I don't really have the energy, generally, to make changes there.

Color me ambivalent. I'm facing one in a couple of days, and it's no big thing, other than becoming eligible for Social Security.

[Xipe Totec]

28. Great day to thank your mom. nt

[Rhiannon12866]

29. I've always felt the same way

I remember not wanting to turn 10, since it was two digits.

[Art_from_Ark]

30. I didn't mind turning 10

but I did mind turning 13, because then I had to pay "adult" prices for admission to movies, amusement parks and so on.

[Rhiannon12866]

32. Good point, hadn't thought of that...

But then I got into the local amusement park for free, since I worked there summers. Turning 21 was traumatic for me, too, don't really know why. I was in college and I shut myself in my room alone and "felt" myself turn 21. A couple of friends of mine slipped a card under my door that was obviously meant for a very elderly person, which didn't help. Little did I know how old I would get and how quickly... At least you know you're not alone feeling like this.

[Throd]

31. It's like being mad at the sun for rising.

As long as you are healthy, be glad you are still here.

[3catwoman3]

33. My general outlook is...

...that it is the first birthday I DON'T get to have that I am not looking forward to, so keep 'em coming.

[hunter]

35. Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate.

Welcome to my childhood.

My mom fled frontier Catholicism for the Jehovah's Witnesses. They don't celebrate birthday but after a few years they booted her out because she couldn't stay out of politics. Soon after I enjoyed a nice sixteenth birthday eco-tourism gift and my grandma gave me a car, which was pretty handy since I'd quit high school for college.

I'm broken. I never experienced birthday celebrations as a kid,. Nowadays my birthdays are mostly an accounting of my arthritis, failures as a adult human being, and many other aches and pains. Thus I ignore it all. If someone asks my age I don't know. I do know when I was born, but I always leave the math to the questioner.

[DebJ]

36. My birthdays make me sad for two reasons. One is the date.

I was born the day after Christmas, so I've never really had a birthday. Everyone is always broke and tired.
As an adult, I have always been on the road driving for hours and hours on my birthday, coming home from
the Christmas visits to family.

Someone provides a cake for me every year, but I never have ever felt like my birthday was special, or my day. Never.
To anyone.

This year I will be 59. Turning every other decade, including 50, didn't bother me. But 60 does, because I don't know that I'll see 70.

Too many wheels falling off the bus the last decade.

Third reason too: as a single parent, beginning when my children were ages 2 and 5, I never once could afford to have a party for them.
Ever. I still cry at their birthdays now, and they are in their 30s, with the same pain I felt every birthday for each of them for all those
struggling years.

[Phentex]

45. That breaks my heart...

most holidays were stressful for me as a kid, birthdays included. When I had kids, I vowed for their birthdays to be different.

We threw fun parties for them and my sister made elaborate cakes. Up until they were about 10 or 11, we asked for other kids not to bring gifts because my family and my husband's family always went overboard. I have great memories of these days.

My kids, on the other hand, when asked about the best thing about their birthdays barely remember any of the parties. They remember how they'd wake up and find a single balloon at their place on the dinner table. I'd write a cheesey message on it and I'd give them a muffin. A couple of times I made a "birthday" puzzle out of a piece of paper that they'd have to put together. This is what they remember.

This year, I mailed a box to my son in college on his birthday. His response? I GOT MY BALLOON!

It's about making people feel special. I hope your kids know that's how you feel about them.

[DebJ]

47. Yes, they do.

Though my daughter has gone extremely overboard to overcompensate with her own children.
Her house looks like a Toys R Us, and it is a big house.

On Father's Day, my children used to give me father's day cards... I was divorced and Dad saw them like 8 hours a month
every 3 or 4 months, by his choice.

They are in their 30s now and they know.

[LeftinOH]

38. It's only because family members remind me of mine

..that I have any kind of "birthday" at all. I'd prefer to have that date pass by unnoticed.
Furthermore, I get a little creeped out by adults who get excited about their own birthdays. Like trick-or-treat or candy-filled Easter baskets, birthdays are kids stuff.

[WinkyDink]

41. Sorry, but I will continue to creep you out! :-P Don't agree with your assertions!

[Skittles]

39. well let's see

my dad shot himself in the head, lived for six days, day three was my birthday

don't care much for my birthday

[CrawlingChaos]

40. Aw jeez

That is really rough. I'm so sorry.

My dad had a massive stroke on Christmas Day. Christmas, I feel, is a tragedy magnet, but now that you mention it, birthdays too. I always feel down on my birthday. It would be nice to be able to shed all these negative associations I suppose, but I wouldn't have the first clue how to do that.

[Skittles]

43. it is hard

my brother, who was only 11 months older than me, died on Thanksgiving from alcoholism.....it stays with you - the old adage "time heals all wounds" simply is not true; all too often, time only makes things easier to bear.

my sympathy to you - a stroke is a mighty tough break - this past year I have dealt with a coworker who was devastated when his ex wife (with whom he had stayed close) died of a massive stroke at age 52.....it's very sad indeed

[Phentex]

46. I think I finally figured out why the holidays are so important to me...for ME...

for a number of reasons, the holidays were crappy for me as a kid. When I got older, I was always guilted into doing the things other family members wanted to do. I finally said screw it, I want the holidays to be fun and peaceful and not painful reminders of years past. It took a long time to figure this out but I don't feel guilty anymore.

I can't tell you how to find your own peace but I can tell you that it can be done. You gotta make it your own.

[WinkyDink]

42. Sorry, Peter Pan!

[Grey]

44. It's all mind over matter.....

If you don't mind, it don't matter.

I've had 72 of them and still think of myself as a 27 year old. I act like it some days as well.

[Iggo]

48. Long as people leave me the hell alone, I love my birthday.

Getting older is winning, and I like taking a day to congratulate myself on surviving another one.

But it's my day, not yours.