Your duck is dead.
A couple kept a duck as a pet, and one day the wife burst into the kitchen imploring her husband to come check on the duck as it was acting odd. Upon examining the duck, the husband had the unfortunate duty to inform his wife that their beloved duck had in fact died.
The wife refused to believe her husband and demanded that they take the duck to a vet. The husband refused saying that he did not want to pay a vet $50 to tell them what he already knew, but after much imploring from his wife he agreed to take the duck to the vet.
When the vet entered the exam room and saw the dead duck on the table he told the couple that the duck was dead and he did not want to charge them $50 to examine it, but after the wife insisted he finally agreed to do the exam. After a couple minutes of poking and proding the duck, he looked up and pronounced the duck to indeed be deceased. The wife refused to believe it and demanded a second opinion. The vet said fine, and brought in a black lab who sniffed the duck, looked at the woman and let out a little whimper, and walked away. There, said the vet, the dog says the duck is dead too. The woman said she did not believe the dog either and demanded another opinion. Fine said the vet and he brought in a yellow lab that went through the same routine as the other dog, and again the woman expressed her disbelief in the dog's ability to properly diagnose her duck's condition and demanded another opinion. OK said the vet, and he brought in an old gray cat that proceeded to sniff the duck's feathers, rub her head all over it's body. She then looked at the woman, meowed, and walked away.
Well alright said the woman, I guess the duck really is dead. I'm sorry we wasted your time. Here's your $50. The vet said no, your bill is now $200. The woman was incensed, and said that she understood the exam fee to be $50.
The vet said yes it was $50, but that was before the two labs and the cat scan.
= new reply since forum marked as read
... fupped duck 
(also an old joke)
