Boys Dating Out of their League in Tv/Movies

[brettdale]

In Modern family there are two teenage males Manny (An overweight nerdy pretentious 16 year old) and Luke (a moron who's not good looking and has no idea how to speak girls.)

Now both these males always seem to date way of their league, despite their charterers not being the type that females their age would be attracted too.

This seems to be the case since Luke and Manny hit their teen years.
Yet there are two young female charterers, (who characters are the type who would have no problem dating) and they are dating way below their league. Hayley with a wimpy guy called Andy, and Alex with an even nerderer guy called Rebuen.

I have noticed this trend in a ton of TV shows, Dramas and movies.
When ever there is a storyline involving adolescents.
Having done my fair share of babysitting young relatives, I notice in a lot of Disney programs, the male teen charterers who are wimpy/nerdy not good looking, always end up with the hot girl.

Yet if there is a charterer of a overweight girl or nerdy/wimpy teen girl, they dont get the good looking guy, in fact in many Disney shows the fat adolescent girl is there for laughs.

I had to sit thru the Diary of a wimpy kid movies, and it was just so stereotypical, the normal average looking guy in the end got the dream girl, and the girl who wasnt goodlooking was the butt of the jokes.

I read somewhere online that these shows are actually causing some adolescent males into stalkers, its called "Nice Guy Syndrome" where some kid actually ends up thinking because they're nice they should automatically get the girl, and when they dont it turns into real hate.

Anyone who had to sit thru the gosh awful suite life of zack and cody will know what I mean.

So what is it about these tv shows and movies that show the average guy getting the hot girl, but the average girl not getting the hot guy.

And does "Nice Guy Syndrome exist? Is it a problem for adolescent males?

[Goblinmonger]

1. A TV show is not going to turn in you into a violent stalker

without there being some other problem making it happen. No study shows that the media has that level of impact.

Now, is it problematic that these shows are sending this message? Yes. These can cause people to see the world and, particularly, their options in a certain way. But one does not become randomly violent from the media.

[annabanana]

2. This is not a "trend" this is standard operating procedure for decades...

Doug & Carrie Heffernan
Ralph and Alice Kramden
Paul and Jamie Buchman
Ray & Debra Barone

Hot wives, schlubby hubby. This is because ALL the writers were men. The women were wish fulfillment.

[hopemountain]

4. yes. agreed.

further, these males are nearly all products of misogynist patriarchal cultures, religions and society.

it is so ingrained in their psyches, personas and creative expression, many are unaware of how this perpetuated patriarchal misogyny repels liberated women.

my daughter and i were discussing this aspect of male behavior just the other day.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

5. I think Paul and Jamie Buchman were pretty evenly matched.

I'll trade you two other lead TV couples to replace them with:

[annabanana]

6. yep, thanks. . .n/t

[Iris]

47. well-done.

[TexasBushwhacker]

7. Speaking of Modern Family

Even Ed O' Neill thinks it's ridiculous.

John Candy's love interests were always thin actresses.

There's the age thing too. Maggie Gyllenhahl was recently dropped from consideration for a role because she was considered too old to play the wife of an actor 12 years her senior.

[NewJeffCT]

25. I had thought it was 16 years

The actor was 53 and Gyllenhal was like 37? That was crazy.

and, with Vergara and O'Neill on Modern Family, the character Ed O'Neill is playing is a wealthy and divorced businessman (the opposite of Al Bundy), while she was from a poor family in Colombia, so you can at least understand the old rich guy and the young "trophy" wife. Maybe not like it, but understand it.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

32. I always thought Peggy Bundy was too attractive as well

But then again, Al DID score 4 touchdowns that one game.

[cemaphonic]

42. That was kinda the premise of that show though

Hometown hero gets the hottest girl in school, but then their lives go to hell.

[NewJeffCT]

15. I also thought Seinfeld stood out that way as well

Jerry is not particularly good looking (IMO) ... yet, 9 out of every 10 women he dated on the show were gorgeous. Even George dated out of his league in terms of physical appeal, and George is fat and balding. At least you can say that *maybe* the women were attracted to Jerry's humor, but George?

[hibbing]

19. No, no, no, no, it was Bad Boy George.

[MosheFeingold]

27. It is good to be King

To quote Mel Brooks

Jerry had pretty women because he was the star of the show, the lead writer, producer, etc. He got to pick.

We Jews are not a stupid people. Flawed in many, many ways. But not stupid.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

31. Jerry was also playing a quasi-celebrity

It's not unrealistic to think he was playing out of his league because of who he was.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

36. George was just Marisa Tomei's type.

She likes funny, quirky bald men.

[NewJeffCT]

37. that was another one

My Cousin Vinny - excellent movie, but Joe Pesci is 22 years older than his fiancee Marisa Tomei.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

39. Well, Vinny was a lawyer.

He'll fax you Jerry Gallo's paperwork to prove it.

[NewJeffCT]

40. win some, lose some

fun movie, but he was barely a lawyer who got a lot of help from Mona Lisa Vito on his first case.

[Blue_Tires]

26. Dagwood and Blondie?

[Gidney N Cloyd]

34. Originally Dagwood had money.

Playboy son of a millionaire who was cut off when he hooked up with Blondie. Could be she figured he'd eventually get back in the will.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

30. Wait, what?

Debra Barone was supposed to be "hot"? I thought she was generally supposed to be annoying and obnoxious.

Also, I never thought Paul Reiser/Buchman was "shlubby". I actually could believe them as a real life couple, mainly because they were both so whiny and neurotic.

Now Carrie and Doug I agree, although I thought the rub was that Doug was supposed to be athletic at one time.

I remember Leah Remini went on Howard Stern and Howard goes "So the premise is a fat guy with a smoking hot wife....." and she goes "Wait, what, that is the premise? I didn't know this and I've been on the show five years...."

[aidbo]

3. For more male fantasy wish fulfillment in TV and movies, see also the 'manic pixie dream girl.'

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManicPixieDreamGirl

Somewhat epitomized by Zooey Deschanel.

[NewJeffCT]

17. ha!

I never heard of that trope before, but that kind of describes me with my ex-wife. I'm kind of quiet and brooding and have a stuffy job and was certainly not aggressive in pursuing women. My ex was almost that manic pixie - barely 5 feet tall, if that, attractive and very energetic and outgoing. (I used to tell people that she made Dick Vitale seem reserved...) While it didn't work out, she did help bring me out of my shell and I'm generally more outgoing and approachable than I used to be.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

29. I just find her annoying

Her character on New Girl makes me want to Elvis my TV.

[Mendocino]

8. Knocked Up

Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen

[DFW]

9. I'm defnitely not the one to ask

I AM the nerdy, out-of-his-league guy who got the beautiful girl!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

10. Thank god for the beautiful women, inside and out, who'll put up with us.

[DFW]

11. Truer words were never spoken n/t

[Orsino]

12. By men, for men. n/t

[DawgHouse]

13. One thing I always liked about Roseanne's show

was that she and Dan seemed to be a match made in heaven. JMHO

[GOLGO 13]

14. It's the Fred Flintstones dynamic. That's been passed down time & time again.

Good looking wives play the straight man to the goofy husband. It's a standard Hollywood trope that is timeless really. It's apparently working it's way down to the tween shows.

Average girl/hot guy is different. We all know most men are more visually focused, so it's not very credible. Average girl doesn't have much of a chance unless she's got better game (rich, power, prestige, etc).

Not buying this "nice guy syndrome". Most of those guys are too introverted (wimps) to do something so out of their comfort zone. But every now & then they do surprise you & it's normally not a happy ending.

[NewJeffCT]

16. Agents of Shield has done a pretty good job

While Ming Na is a beautiful woman, she's in her early 50 and had a season 1 affair with the guy playing Grant Ward, who is in his 30s and good looking. Her ex-husband, Blair Underwood, on the show is 51, which is a year or two younger than her

The woman that Coulson likes this season is mid 40s to his early 50s, which is at least somewhat reasonable. If it were regular TV, the woman would be late 20s or early 30s.

And, how often do you see two people in their 50s - Ming Na and Clark Gregg - as stars on an action oriented show?

Overall, though, TV and movies are kind of crazy this way

[OriginalGeek]

28. Speaking of Constance Zimmer (Coulson's like interest)

I hope she turns out to be a good guy. I kind of love her. Ever since Joan of Arcadia.

(I'm behind several episodes though so trying not to give or get spoilers here. Got 'em on DVR.)

[Bucky]

18. Quasimodo syndrome

Sadly, I'm guilty of this a bit in my personal life right now.

I think the opposite end of this trend is also pretty interesting. As a high school teacher I know I've seen quite a few bright, capable, ambitious young women who end up romantically matched with average schlubs. They tend to end up with guys who don't challenge them intellectually and who aren't particularly ambitious. But they're "nice guys" - often pretty weak in academics - who I can only guess aren't going to challenge them in their aspirations for college or career.

[GOLGO 13]

22. Girls dating down their intellectual level?

That's might be more common than we think. I know that's definitely true in my wife's case. That or my brutally handsome good looks.

[Skittles]

20. Girfriend's Guide to Divorce

and that hubby divorces her to date this gal:

[GOLGO 13]

21. Looks like he upgraded to a newer model.

Probably younger and "enhanced" apparently. I approve of his choice.

[Skittles]

24. all immature men approve

[Gidney N Cloyd]

23. There was a scene in "Louis" that addressed this.

Recounting this from one view long ago but as I recall a rather plain, slightly overweight woman tries to flirt with Louis CK but he doesn't flirt back. She then lets him have it, telling him that she flirts with much better looking guys than him and they flirt back. It's because she and they both know they're in different leagues so it's all just in fun. But when she flirts with guys like Louis (who's not exactly a matinee idol) they never flirt back and it's because, she says, deep down they know that women like her are exactly the kind of women they really rate being able to date and they don't like to be reminded of that. The schlubbiest of guys still want to fantasize that they can get the supermodels.

Like so much of "Louis," it was an uncomfortable scene. When it ends it's like getting off a carnival ride that you really didn't want to get on in the first place.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

33. "Louis" is about all the WTF moments that happen in life

Especially when one person has it all figured out in their head and projects their shit onto someone who doesn't get where they are coming from.

Great show, I just never get around to watching many episodes.

[GOLGO 13]

35. This episode sounds familiar.

Her reaction to his non-reaction was amusing. Her ego couldn't deal.

Your spot-on with that carnival ride analogy. It's like watching a schlub loose 100 fights then win one, then back to another hundred losses. Good show.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

38. Have you seen "Last Man on Earth"? It subverts it a bit.

Where Phil Miller (the second Phil Miller, not the main character Phil "Tandy" Miller played by Will Forte) is played by the hunky Boris Kodjoe, and is paired up with the beautiful Erica (played by Cleopatra Coleman) and yet he becomes obsessed with the far more average looking and very quirky to a fault Carol (played hilarious by Kristen Schaal)?

Although it also features heavyset Todd (Mel Rodriguez) in a relationship with Melissa (January Jones).....but then again, supposedly there are only seven people on earth (that we know of, at least), so anything's possible.

[dr.strangelove]

41. As an overweight nerd who married WAY WAY WAY out of my league

let me just say that it happens all the time in real life. Very few of the "pretty girls" are actually the "mean girls" stereotype. The vast majority of girls like men with common interests and who can laugh with them. If they are into sports, they like other athletes, if they are into fashion, they like men who are too ... and so on.

My wife at "40 something" can still rock a bikini and turn heads of 20 year olds on the beach. Yet she is walking arm in arm with me in my 2xl t-shirt, long board shorts and covered in sun block.

[LisaL]

43. There is no law that you are only supposed to date

within your league. Whatever that means.

[Arugula Latte]

44. Here's a list of one form of this, the Fat Guy/Skinny Wife in TV shows:

http://crasstalk.com/2013/01/full-list-of-tv-shows-with-fat-husbands-and-skinny-wives/

The Honeymooners – Ralph and Alice Kramden
The Simpsons – Homer and Marge Simpson
Family Guy – Peter and Lois Griffin
King of Queens – Doug and Carrie Heffernan
According to Jim – Jim and Cheryl
The Sopranos – Tony and Carmela Soprano
Still Standing – Bill and Judy Miller
Modern Family – Jay and Gloria Pritchett, Cameron Tucker and Mitchell Pritchett
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air – Philip and Vivian Banks
Grounded for Life – Sean and Claudia Finnerty
Just the Ten of Us – Graham and Elizabeth Lubbock
Lucky Louie – Louie and Kim
The Flintstones – Fred and Wilma Flintstone, Barney and Betty Rubble
Entourage – Turtle and all of his girlfriends
Family Matters – Carl and Harriette Winslow
The Big C – Paul and Cathy Jamison
Game of Thrones – Robert Baratheon and Cersei Lannister
Parks and Recreation – Jerry and Gayle Gergich
Roc – Roc and Eleanor Emerson
The Drew Carey Show – Drew Carey and all of his wives
That ’70s Show – Bob and Midge Pinciotti

[GOLGO 13]

45. My take on your list...

The Honeymooners – Ralph is a civil servant with a city pension & is therefore sexy.
The Simpsons – Homer...I got nothing
Family Guy – Peter...I got nothing.
King of Queens – Not buying this. She's way too hot & he's way too much schlub. He's the biggest beta-bitch out of the entire list.
According to Jim – never watched
The Sopranos – Tony is making bank & is dangerous. He's got bad boy sexy.
Still Standing – never watched
Modern Family – never watched
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air – Philip is filthy, filthy rich and is therefore $exy.
Grounded for Life – never watched
Just the Ten of Us – never watched
Lucky Louie – never watched
The Flintstones – Fred is 100% Alpha. Construction workers make bank.
Entourage – never watched
Family Matters – never watched
The Big C – never watched
Game of Thrones – watched 1st season & forgot most of the characters
Parks and Recreation – Never watched
Roc – never watched
The Drew Carey Show – I watched for a bit when Drew had a gf who was a former fattie then became a hottie. She knows his inner qualities.
That ’70s Show – Bob is a straight up hustler & super pimp. Like Burt Reynolds, Johnny Holmes & Evel Knievel all rolled into one. He's a true 70's icon.

[NewJeffCT]

46. In the Game of Thrones books

Robert was 6'6" and built like a linebacker when he was younger, one of the mightiest warriors in all of Westeros - I think Ned even references how the young Robert used to be so tall, strong & handsome (and also with striking blue eyes) that all the young women swooned over him.

When he goes to visit Ned in the north, following the death of Robert Arryn, it has been 9 years since they saw each other, and much of Robert's time has been spent eating, drinking and carousing. Ned guessed he must have gained (I think) 9 or 10 stone in weight and has grown a beard to cover up his extra chins. 1 stone = 14 pounds, so he's gained 126 to 140 pounds in those years. Plus, he's probably lost a lot of the muscle he once had, so it probably looks like he gained even more than 126 to 140 pounds.

So, say he was 6'6" and 250 pounds before - he's now 6'6" and 375 to 400 pounds. (the actor playing Robert was nowhere near 6'6", but I thought he did a great job of portraying Robert's personality)

[Behind the Aegis]

48. Funny. That was a line from "Will and Grace".

Jack and Karen (who was married to an unseen "fat" man) were flipping channels..."Fat guy/Skinny wife" were their comments with each show (though the show wasn't seen). It is a formula to some degree, especially in comedies.

[Arugula Latte]

51. Ha ha! I remember that.

Loved those two.

[Behind the Aegis]

49. Very lookist.

Someone's weight shouldn't determine "league." Also, you seem to be over analyzing a comedy. It reminds me about the ludicrous dust up when "Gloria" made the comment, "What? Do you think we are Peruvians?!" in regards to a stereotype against Colombians. It was a comic device.

There are certainly some stereotypical roles in regards to genders which need to go the way of the dodo, but looks don't, or shouldn't, determine someone's "league."

[skippercollector]

50. Several issues brought up here

There are several different issues being brought up here.

In regards to the sitcoms with the situation of the fat husband with the skinny wife, or the average-looking husband with the beautiful* wife, I can think of a few shows that defied (or attempted to defy) that concept.
Drop Dead Diva on Lifetime
Rita Rocks on Lifetime
The Vicar of Dibley, a British series that aired on PBS in the United States
To a lesser extent, the various versions of Ugly Betty.

In regards to the second issue of stalking, well, just read some of the forums over at http://www.city-data.com/ to read about the angry men who seem to think they deserve beautiful women.
There are probably plenty of other websites in regards to that situation as well.

And from my own experience: I grew up very, very plain. I don't mean plain as in overweight, or plain as in not wearing makeup, but plain as in what I call the Jane Austen definition: round face, glasses, thin hair, small breasts and large hips and thighs. The only men who were interested in me weren't necessarily physically ugly, but rather in dire straits: homeless men, alcoholics, etc.

*I never know what is meant by "hot." Does it mean pretty, or does it mean sexually alluring?

[Chan790]

52. I find this actually mirrors reality more than a lot of people want to admit.

Sometimes people generally regarded as beautiful date people who seem a lot less attractive to most people; some people are attracted to different things than the conventional-thought and some people don't have primary attraction based on appearance. Not everybody's idea of attractive aligns either...I like go for Velma-types more than Daphnes.

Consider as an example, sapiosexuality--the orientation towards being primarily romantically or sexually attracted to partners on the basis of intelligence rather other personal characteristics. (e.g. why as a mostly-hetero biological-male (who is genderqueer) I'd rather do filthy things to Neil deGrasse Tyson than Kim Kardashian.) One of my romantic partners, K, is demisexual...meaning she's only sexually-attracted to people she already has emotional connections to, such as close friends. One of my best friends, T, is gynosexual...T is attracted to people who present as feminine regardless of their biological sex. Another, my HS classmate C is attracted solely to people who are sexually-ambiguous...mostly-gay, he has a lifetime "hall pass" from his husband for Grace Jones. Finally, let's consider my ex-gf H who is attracted to older men and father figures.

None of those attractions are even remotely-dependent upon the physical attractiveness of the recipient in the narrowest sense.

Attraction is a funny thing and trying to read any sort of social mores into its depiction is futile and the sort of solipsistic inquiry that often says as much about the asker as the subject.