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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsAsking for Thoughts on a Sugar Issue
Here's the situation. In my teacher's union, which is an AFT chapter, we are holding a memorial service next week for our former vice-president. He passed away last month of diabetes complications. Once given the diagnosis, he never was able to adjust to his condition. First he lost his leg, then he lost his life. He was older, but not that old. He had many good years ahead of him, but he could not handle this disease. He was a real character, and we miss him terribly.
So today we get a notice via email about the memorial service from our union president and asking, as executive board members, if we can approve the expenditure of $xxx for a dessert buffet after the service.
Excuse me, but what is it about diabetes that you don't understand? Is it not a bit inappropriate to be celebrating the life of our veep by eating sugar, which is essentially what he died from?
So I wrote this in response. I would like to know if you think I'm being a politically correct harpie:
Can we do an snacks/veggie plate/dessert thing? We should be cognizant of the fact that sugar is not good for anybody. Sugar is probably what led Dave to a too-early demise (diabetes). I think it is wrong on principle to offer people nothing but desserts when we are gathering to celebrate his life, which was death caused by sugar. If you read about diabetes and how it develops, it's not just sugar, but bread, too. Diabetes is rampant in this country. As the thought leaders in our community, we need to walk the walk and effect change where we encounter the opportunity to do so.
I'm open to all kinds of opinions and advice, even from medical people, as I could be misinterpreting what I've read. After all, I'm an English teacher, not a medical person.
Cher
Phentex
(16,334 posts)A dessert buffet is not appropriate in my opinion. I think your message back is perfect.
What time of the day is this service? Is it a time when people need to eat something? Couldn't drinks and perhaps some very small snacks be served? Why do we need to feed people at every event?
This isn't the funeral where people might expect some sort of food afterwards.
woodsprite
(11,923 posts)they have diabetes or not. My brother is diabetic and just figures his meds will take care of it and he can still eat what he wants. I'm a newly diagnosed diabetic. While I wouldn't necessarily be offended, there really wouldn't be much there I could eat so would probably pay my respects then go out to dinner with hubby or friends. You could always bring a veggie/cheese tray or cheese and fruit. Just be aware that my experience has been that when a cheese tray is offered, it goes really fast. If they don't want to open it up and you are the only one to bring something like that, I'd take a larger-sized one (or take some extra cheese so you could refill if needed).
I understand your concern, but I think you may put some off by your wording. Maybe say something like "Can we do an snacks/veggie plate/dessert thing? We should be cognizant of the fact that there may be diabetics there and I'm sure they would like to have something that is appropriate for them to eat." You are definitely correct in what you wrote, but I think you may turn people off by the wording. Maybe after the shock of his death isn't so new, you could organize a walk or 5K for diabetes in his name. Put a positive spin on an awareness campaign for all who knew him.
Maybe what they could say is to bring finger food and let the person making it decide if they bring a veggie, protein, or sweet thing. Celery stuffed with peanut butter or cream cheese is always a good option, as well as sliced cheese and veggies. If you want to stay away from nuts, roasted chick peas are good as well. I've done them with a cinnamon, honey, allspice coating, as well as a spicy garlic coating. Hummus and veggies is also a good option.
I sing in a group where we have a coffee hour after our concerts and we're always having coffee hours after church. I make sure I take something that I can eat as well (something with protein, and if I take a cookie, I make sure I know the carb count for myself and anyone else who asks).
NJCher
(35,713 posts)Thanks to both of you for your thoughts. They haven't announced the time yet, so I don't know if it's really necessary to have food or not. In addition, a couple of the clubs he belonged to will be joining in with the union on putting together the event, so we only get a partial say in it.
Typically at these things, we take that time after the service to tell stories about our dearly departed. We open up the floor for people to talk, and this usually results in something funny or stories about going the extra mile with our students.
Woodsprite, I definitely see your point. Now that I read yours, I think mine sounds a little "teachery" or lecture-like. So I changed it, pretty much right along the lines of what you suggested.
Really appreciate the help. I also, as a result of your posts, have started looking for clues as to whether people watch what they eat. It appears you are right--I haven't found much of an indicator that people are very conscious of this.
Cher
davsand
(13,421 posts)Whatever they are paying for a dessert buffet would make a nice memorial contribution to one of those organizations. Serve coffee and teas and water at the memorial and have the organization come and speak. Let them teach.
My sympathies on your loss.
Laura
NJCher
(35,713 posts)So glad I asked. I didn't see your post when I put mine up, Laura, but if you notice I wrote in the last paragraph that it appears many people don't watch what they eat. We could all use a reminder or even some new information on the topic.
Cher
mnhtnbb
(31,401 posts)is from the heart and your heart is in the right place, but...there's that but...it comes off as a bit preachy or judgmental.
Life is full of choices. Dessert does not have to be loaded with sugar. It can be fruit. It can be cheese. It can be small bites, not
just a big hunk of pie or cake or huge cookies.
Just a thought that if the rest of the executive board approves the $$ for a dessert buffet, promote selecting a caterer that will offer
low sugar or sugar free options and that all the desserts be offered in bite size portions.