May 20, 2017 - Trump's first night
While it is usually true the wheels of justice grind exceedingly slowly, that didn't happen in the case of America's Greatest Near Miss, the 2017 Republican candidate for president. On May 20, a scant four months after Hillary Clinton was inaugurated, one Donald Trump Jagoff reported to the Federal Bureau of Prisons to begin his three-thousand-year sentence for breaking every federal law there is. Yes, my friends, they even caught him tearing the tag off a mattress before he sold it.
That night, as he laid in his bed thinking about how "Crooked Hillary" subverted the will of the electorate by the evil method of getting seven million more votes than he did, men started to scream out numbers. "Thirty-six!" yelled a man, followed by laughs all around. "Seventy-three!" More laughs.
"What the hell's going on?" Trump asked the guy in the next cell.
'We're telling jokes.'
"But those are just numbers!"
'Yeah, that's true. We realized we were telling the same jokes over and over, so about twenty years ago someone gave each joke a number. Now we just yell out the number of the joke instead of telling it, and we get a lot more laughs in.'
Trump thought about it for a second, then decided to join the fun.
"Forty-eight!" yelled Trump. Dead silence.
"Forty-eight!" yelled louder this time. Crickets.
"What's the damn problem? Isn't 48 a good joke?"
'Forty-eight is really the best one, but you always sucked at telling jokes.'