LGBT
Related: About this forumIt Gets Better, Unless You’re Fat
When you first come out, gay men are eager to let you know that youre not alone, and that you have a seat at the table. Unless, of course, youre also fat, in which case, no, you cant sit with us.
I never had to come out as fat.
When you grow up overweight, everyone notices not just your classmates, who are too young to have mastered the art of tact, but also friends parents and teachers. I knew I was fat because people told me I was fat, either directly (a slap to the stomach and an unkind word) or in subtler ways (having a teacher rifle through my lunch box and comment on the contents). I felt shame over my size long before I had any concept of my sexuality, and years after coming out as gay, I still feel anxious identifying as fat.
As an openly gay writer, one of the questions Im asked most often is, Were you bullied growing up? And the answer is yes, but its never the answer theyre looking for. In many ways I was lucky to have come of age in a liberal enclave where my sexuality was accepted if not embraced. Oh, sure, Ive had the word faggot hurled at me and the sad truth is, Id be shocked if a gay man hadnt but it was always secondary. The real source of my bullying was the extra weight Ive carried since childhood. I can count on one hand the number of times Ive been called a faggot to my face, but I couldnt tell you how often someone has made a dig about my weight.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/it-gets-better-unless-youre-fat
Much more at the link, and the comments are worth a read too. Before I read the article I hadn't given much thought to the negativity that overweight people face in our community, but now that I am more aware of it I'll certainly pay closer attention.
Pab Sungenis
(9,612 posts)The good news is that lets me park in handicapped spaces at Cher concerts.
xfundy
(5,105 posts)Except I was called a "fatass fag." Lost a lot of weight early 20s, went to a HS reunion and all the guys and girls who'd been cruel to me suddenly wanted to get to know me. Told them, "I may look different, but I'm still the same. So are you."
NCLefty
(3,678 posts)theHandpuppet
(19,964 posts)Good one!