I'm diagnosed Asperger syndrome major Depression, a smidgen of psychosis. Modern meds are helpful.

[hunter]

At my very, very, very, off-my-meds worst living in Isla Vista UCSB food out of dumpsters crazy roommate from hell running with bloody bare feet in the early AM, I was always harmless.

To the Isla Vista foot patrol and Santa Barbara law enforcement I was the nice diversion from their usual sordid duties. A donut and coffee break, drive Hunter home, wherever that happened to be.

Never, ever, even at my very most sane or my most insane would I shoot anyone.

[LiberalLoner]

1. (((Hugs))). I'm major depression, PTSD. And brain lesions from Multiple Sclerosis.

I've been mean and sarcastic with words more than I'd like but I've never physically hurt anyone except for myself.

[Neoma]

2. My worst was defending myself in order to harm myself.

Which never, ever got out of hand to the point of hurting someone else. I always gave up before that. I never even had the heart to hurt myself all that much. No scars on me.

But that was years ago. I've found peace of mind, I feel like I have a good future now, and I am generally happy. I feel like mentioning that I'm mentally ill is wrong because of how good things are right now. But it is still there, I know that. I can always slip back into that unhealthy state of mind, but I don't see a need to...

I wish I could give a more meaningful explanation than that. I'd feel more like a success story once I get through college. But I also know how depressing it is to see someone flaunt that, so I don't post much in this group anymore.

[hunter]

4. A healthy curiousity, some critical reading skills, and the rejection of anti-intellectualism...

... that's what an education is. Actually enjoying learning something new. Not a college degree.

Some work demands further: engineering airliners, bridges, spaceships, medicine... but most work is not like that.

Even when I got my life all together, I washed out as a big city science teacher, in spite of my science degree and my high test scores.

That was the most difficult, most stressful job I ever had. There are grandmas, ordinary high school graduates with no further formal education, who might have been only a chapter ahead in the science text, who could have handled that job better than I did.

Anyways, I hope I'm not flaunting anything.

This ought to be a comfortable place for everyone, but sadly this is the internet and there are mean people everywhere.

[Neoma]

5. I realize all that, more than you know.

From age 9 to 18, I was unschooled, I'm autodidactic, I taught myself. My edge over all those high school educated 18 year olds is that I actually enjoy learning what they teach me and I'm new to all the material.

Driving and college was my jump forward into a healthy mindset. I just mean sort of that NAMI speakers usually have some sort of huge accomplishment in their lives like a college degree and I want that too before I tell my story.

[hunter]

6. I tend to regard my own college graduation as a miracle...

... or at least a consequence of the kindness of others.

As a measure of "huge accomplishment," I'm not so sure.

The college dean told me, "Hunter, I think you should go on to grad school. BUT NOT HERE."

Various people had to sign off on my graduation because my college credits were spread across nine years and graduation requirements had changed over the years.

I've enjoyed some college past that, but it's so expensive now! Putting our kids through college and the damned chronic health problems has me stuck, so far as further formal education goes.

I don't measure my own life by accomplishments. I just try to do whatever I think is the right thing to do at the time (if I'm not avoiding problems altogether...) and I've frequently screwed up.

[Neoma]

7. I'm goal oriented.

Made this goal, which is the next one? That's just how my mind works. I fully accept the baby steps method, though I don't have to really use that method anymore, leaps have been allowed lately.

[Terra Alta]

3. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder with psychotic features.

I can get pretty snippy if I'm off my meds but I never, ever had the desire to hurt another human being. The only person I was ever a threat to was myself. I am ten thousand times better now than when I was first diagnosed in 2007.

[etherealtruth]

8. Of course you wouldn't

Those that imply you would, solely based on a diagnosis or cluster of diagnosis, are imbeciles.

Modern meds can help you ... they can't fix stupid, so "eff" the imbeciles and go live a good life

[mopinko]

9. the ex is sure i will kill him someday

left the house shaking. the hilarious thing is that i am doing pretty well. i really dont care. he is obsessed at this point, tho.
i worry about him.

but me too. in my deepest depressions, i never, ever wanted to harm anyone but myself.

i cant believe they had the data to see that he had just bought several guns. want a clue to who is dangerously ill? yeah, multiple gun purchases, gift from the clue fairy. pick it up. unwrap it. fools.