It's Good to be Back

[Coyote_Bandit]

I posted a thread in the lounge explaining why I have missed being here at DU.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018300742

Long story made short: I've been taking care of the parents. Alone.

I've made a few changes in the household schedule and it would seem that they have been successful enough to enable me to have some time here at DU again.

I have always found C&B to be one of the friendliest, most creative and informative havens here at DU and I have especially missed being here.

A special word of thanks for the suggestions you offered on food prep while Mom was going through chemo. Although she ultimately lost her battle with lymphoma she never lost more than 10 pounds. I credit many of the suggestions I received here with making that possible.

My current culinary challenge is how to feed an old man who has lost the wil to live enough (mostly calorie dense foods) to keep him from wasting away while not packing even more unnecessary pounds on my own body. Seems inevitable when opportunities for exercise are limited.

I've missed you all.

[Warpy]

1. Advice: get some online time every single day

It can help you keep what's left of your sanity when you're doing the caretaker thing. Mine was late at night when I was there for first my mother, then my father, keeping the phone line open during prime hours until about 10 PM.

My pressure release was cranking on DU and chatting on IRC for a few minutes, interacting with people all over the globe who sort of knew me and shared some of my interests. It helped tremendously and kept me from being isolated.

You're not going to do your dad much good if you're a ball of depression. You need to take care of yourself, too.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

4. Everything you said is excellent advice. nt

[Coyote_Bandit]

5. I'm trying to do that

Some days I end up having to get online using my phone which can pose a real challenge for me given my visual impairments.

The computer and wi-fi router are in Dad's room. It is not uncommon for me to have signal problems on my laptop which is at the diagonally opposite end of the house.

Dad's cognitive issues have resulted in him having problems using his computer. He threatens almost daily to cancel the newspaper subscription, the internet service, his cell phone contract and all but the most basic cable tv service. He mostly lives in a small little world somewhere inside his head stuck somewhere in the 1950's. He doesn't seem to want much contact with the outside world - and he certainly has not embraced modern communications.

Meanwhile, it is my lifeline. Texting with friends in particular. And being able to monitor and manage my finances online. I've offered top pay his internet service bill but his issue with it isn't the cost - it is the simple fact that he does not find it necessary.

I've had a respiratory infection the last few days and you are exactly right - I can't do him much good if I don't take care of myself.

[cbayer]

2. Welcome back and bless you for all that you are doing.

I guess moving your father back to the area you live is not on the table... that's too bad. Sounds like you need to get back in your own home.

Will your father drink supplements like ensure?

[Coyote_Bandit]

6. I wish I could get Dad to relocate

but he has lived in this area for about 60 years. More importantly, his grandchildren live here. If they were to re-locate he might be willing to follow them somewhere.

Dad will not drink the supplements. I can't even get him to drink milkshakes or smoothies or Carnation Instant Breakfast. Or take a multi-vitamin.

Thanks for the kind words.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

3. Gram loved ice cream and fudge bars

Kept her hydrated while pumping her full of calories. She also developed a taste for Tyson hot wings, I think it was because she could actually taste them. She passed last Saturday after just a few weeks of being 'ill'.

My heart goes out to you. We're part of a special tribe now.

[Coyote_Bandit]

7. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your Gram

Dad's taster is definitely messed up. Everything requires that either salt or sugar be added. I think I'll try some hot wings to see how they are received.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

10. Thank you. It's a relief knowing she is no longer suffering.

[Phentex]

8. Welcome back...

and thanks for coming back here too. I'm sorry about your mom.

You're a good egg.

[fizzgig]

9. i can't think of much to say

so here's a