Trump wishing Hillary a Happy Birthday...

[Rollo]

10/26 October 26th. Such a bad date. Terrible date. She's a Scorpio. The Zodiac people - and by the way, the Zodiac is so so bad, there was a serial killer named The Zodiac Killer, it's true, it's true - they chose Scorpio because it was short for Scorpion. I mean, come on, how much time does cutting one letter save you? It's one letter. And N, I mean, it's not a terrible letter. It's not as great as D or J or T - but not terrible. H - boy, that's such a horrible letter. The worst letter. R and C are pretty terrible too. Scorpion, you know what that is? You all know, I see everyone nodding. It's a predatory arachnid. I mean, unless you're lending, predators are bad bad things. Trust me you don't want a predatory arachnid around. She loves arachnids. Eight legs, 73 legs, 200 legs - she loves them all. So sad. The Zodiac people - again, so incompetent - they say Scorpioans are known for their composure. Are you kidding? She has the worst composure. The worst of all time. Worse than OJ Simpson. I used to like OJ, but then he did that horrible thing to Nicole. OJ never found the real killer. You know who has no alibi that day? This is interesting, they don't want you to know this. Rafael Cruz has no alibi the day Nicole was killed. OJ had an alibi. That Kato guy. Weird guy. Nutjob. Space cadet. But very reputable. People tell me all the time that my composure is the best thing about me. But Scorpianians are all loozers. I hate to say it, I won't say it. But they are loozers. Incompetent. You know who was a Scorpianian? Pat Sejak. That guy couldn't even spell. Literally couldn't spell. He needed that blonde woman to tell him how to spell. So so incompetent. What's worse? 1947. Terrible year. The worst. You know what happened in 1947? She let India and Pakistan break away from Britain. Everything was great until 1947. She's born and boom, India and Pakistan are set free to threaten each other. I love Indians, there's a great Indian restaurant in Mar-a-Lago. It's open year round because the Indians are OK with that kind of heat. Nobody else is. You know what else she screwed up in 1947? She let Britain nationalise the coal mines. Can you believe that? Nationalise! With an S! They can't even spell it with a Z. They don't want you to know, they are lying so they pronounce it the same. But they are lying and spelling it with an S. The British are like Pat Sejak, they need a blonde spelling out all their stupid stupid decisions. But that's when she started to hate miners, back when she was an embryo and she nationaliZed the mines in England. And here is something I couldn't believe. Listen to this, this is unbelievable. There were only 144 million people in America in 1947. Now? 320 million people. Do the math people - do we need the Vanna White of math? No, we can do it. That's 176 million more people. One hundred and seventy six million more people! Since she was born she has let 176 million people pour into our country. Our country would be half the size if it wasn't for her. I'm sure some were OK, maybe one out of every ten. But still. And 69 is a stupid stupid age. I went straight from 68 to 70. Our leaders want you to think you need to add 1 every birthday. But that's because the whole birthday system is rigged. I might not even accept my 71st birthday it's so rigged. We'll see, we'll see. Maybe I will. Gemini is a great sign. The best. That's not me saying it, that's what people tell me. Scorpianians tell me too. Gemini is the best of them all. The Zodiac people say Geminis are outgoing and talkative. Again, they are so wrong. So wrong. Look at me, am I outgoing and talkative? Maybe a little. People come up to me and say I'm talkative. But I don't respond to them to prove I'm not talkative. I say nothing. I just stand there. She says she'll be the youngest woman president. Such a cute line. She hires Madison Avenue to come up with these lines. And they test all these words, and they are in cahoots, the Madison Avenue people, in cahoots with the Zodiac people. Not the murderer Zodiac - who by the way she has yet to catch even though she's had decades to find him - the Zodiac company. They do all this testing and decide that calling me talkative is how to beat me. Such nasty people. They know I'm not talkative, but they say it anyway. So dishonest. Look at me, I haven't even said anything this whole time! I've been standing here in total silence!...

That was actually an email the mock debate stand-in for Trump, Philippe Raines, sent to Hillary Clinton on her birthday. Let's just say if anyone understands how Trump "thinks", it's Raines.

Read the accompanying article, it's priceless...

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/01/philippe-reines-donald-trump-214630