Quack! Quack!

[onager]

So I'm guessing everybody has seen the hoopla about "Duck Dynasty" star Phil Robertson? If not, just Google his name and you'll find out more than you ever wanted to know about it.

In a nutshell: being interviewed by GQ, Robertson unloaded some of the usual Jesus-inspired bigotry about gays.

He also opined that when he was a young 'un - "pre-welfare" - them black folks in the Deep South had it pretty darn good. None of 'em were "singing the blues."

Best comment from some board, on that one: "Damn. With neighbors like that, no wonder Robert Johnson tried to sell his soul to the Devil." ROFL...

And another comment: "No, they just INVENTED the blues. Dumbass."

But in a weird development, Mr. Robertson doesn't technically qualify as a "dumbass." He has a Master's Degree - in Education, no less - and used to work as a school teacher. Apparently that was before he Found Jesus (tm) at age 28, and invented his Miracle Duck Call that made him rich.

The A&E Network promptly suspended Robertson. His family then issued a press release that they could not go on without their "patriarch" and might leave the network.

For dumbassery we can turn to Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, who claimed Robertson's freedom of speech is being violated. Not true, as most seventh-graders know, since the Federal govt. is not involved here.

Just the opposite - Mr. Robertson flapped his gums as freely as he wished, it reflected poorly on his employer A&E, and that employer disciplined him. End of story, except for the huffing and puffing from the Usual Suspects at Fox News.

Predictably, conspiracy theories are already floating around. i.e., Robertson wants off the show and this is his way out of the contract.

Disclaimer: I have never watched "Duck Dynasty" and knew nothing about the show until this kerfuffle. But I am in the Deep South for the holidays, where I see their merchandise littering every major retail store. Just yesterday I saw some sort of Duck Dynasty action figure or something. Judging by its size and shape, at first I thought it was a dildo. And it looks like I may have been right, at least in the metaphorical if not literal sense.

Livestock Update: a pig just wandered into the front yard. Actually a piglet. He ran off pretty quickly, probably after getting a whiff of our breakfast pork sausage...

[Curmudgeoness]

1. Just another born again Christian.

It seems that there is something in that "born again" experience that makes people raving lunatics. I know it did for me, when I was in my early teens and went into pool halls and bowling alleys to convert the sinners. Luckily, I pulled my head out of my ass.

As to Duck Dynasty, I have never seen it, but somehow know more than I ever wanted to know. By the time you leave the deep south, I am sure that you will too. This dust up is just what I would expect from Robertson.

On another note, GQ must have really fallen from the days when I remember it as THE magazine to go to for urban chic.

[Major Nikon]

4. Christianity, like cults, seek to convert people at their weakest moments

Most born again Christians I've seen tend to proselytize the most aggressively. They spend the first part of their life fucking up, then are "born again" (I'm not exactly certain what this process entails), and spend the rest of their life wagging their fingers at everyone else.

[Curmudgeoness]

5. Well, thank god

we don't all spend the rest of our lives in denial.

And "born again" is just a new term for "finding Christ" (or maybe not new, but new in the mainstream). Hallelujah.

[Major Nikon]

6. The term means different things to different people

But the ones I've seen that wear their "born again" status on their sleeve tend to be those who found Jesus at or near the point of hitting rock bottom. I've heard many tell stories of how Jesus spoke to them while they were in a drunken or drugged stupor and it changed their life. Whatever keeps them on the straight and narrow can't be all bad, but many seem to have traded an addiction to one thing for an addiction to Jesus and like many fanatics this generates its own set of problems. There's a reason why 12 step programs try to substitute belief in a higher power for other addictions. I'm not convinced it's all that great of an idea.

[Locut0s]

7. It's sad that so few can find the same realization in the people around them...

After all once they have beat their addiction. Once they have climbed out of the pit of despair they were in. It's the people around them that ultimately accept and forgive them. It's their fellow man that REALLY gives them their second or third chance. This speaks more to the compassion and acceptance of your fellow man than to the love of Jesus IMHO. I agree with you that if it works for you, power to you. But like you I'm not entirely convinced it's always 100% positive. I wish more people could become born again humanists.

But I DO know what it's like to feel you have hit rock bottom and feel like you are in a pit of despair.

[Major Nikon]

9. It seems to work for some

Just look at W. He'd probably be drunk in a ditch somewhere today if it weren't for Jebus (and the world would be a better place, but that's another story). The problem is what happens when you've dug yourself out of your hole with the help of Jebus and subsequently lose your newly found faith?

[Curmudgeoness]

10. I never thought about it,

but you are right. I am thinking of the people I know who are born-agains, and all of them were pretty low before they found Jesus. I guess the lower you go, the more powerful the help you think you need to get up. There is a difference lately though. It used to be that this intensity would not last for the rest of their lives, it seemed to burn itself out quickly or go to a low simmer. With the religious right hammering away, though, these people do not seem to get to that simmer.

I just wish that they would stop trying to convert the world after they find help through a higher power. That is the thing that bothers me. You are right, if it works to straighten their life out, it isn't all bad. But it is the way that they are taught to spread the word that is a problem.

[dimbear]

2. One thing just puzzles me immensely about this case: where in pity's sake is the guy

who is holding Phil's chain? Surely his handlers must have known that letting him talk was as dangerous as letting Lindsay Lohan drive............

[Locut0s]

8. Here's an interesting caricature / skit that speaks to your puzzlement...

[progressoid]

3. Their merchandise is littering stores up here in the plains too.

I saw today that Cracker Barrel has stopped selling their crap. On the flip side, Walmart has run out of Duck shit.

Walmart Sells Out of Duck Dynasty Merch as Fans Flock to Support Phil Robertson

The future of Duck Dynasty on A&E may be up in the air following Phil Robertson’s controversial comments about homosexual sex, but according to a new report in The Daily Mail, business is booming for the franchise online.

Last month, Forbes’ Clare O’Connor estimated that Duck Dynasty merchandise is a $400 million business, with half of that total coming from Walmart alone. And a look at the Walmart website today shows many Duck Dynasty items “out of stock online,” demonstrating that fans of the show and supporters of Robertson are buying it all up just in time for Christmas.

[onager]

11. Cracker Barrel already caved...

The story was all over the news last night, at least in this (red) neck of the woods.

Shortly after their announcement pulling all the junk, Cracker Barrel got hit with a tsunami of emails and Tweets etc. from DD fans. They immediately reversed themselves and promised to keep selling the Duck shit.

I may write in and demand that they also restore the Authentic Louisiana Lynching Action Figures...