Are you ready?

[AngryDem001]

Ready to roll your eyes and CRINGE?

The trailer for the new "Left Behind" movie.

Be warned, this is BAD........so BAD.........

[arcane1]

1. No. No, I am not ready.

Mr. Cage lands himself in some odd roles, doesn't he?

[onager]

3. "How, in the name of Zeus' butthole, did this happen?"

Couldn't resist using that line from the article below.

Mr. Cage REALLY needs the work. ANY work. He's burned thru a personal fortune of about $150 million and currently owes the IRS $13 million.

I just recently re-watched him in "Gone In 60 Seconds." Which also sucked, but was many orders of suckitude better than anything with the "Left Behind" brand on it.


http://www.celebritynetworth.com/articles/celebrity/how-did-nicolas-cage-blow-through-an-150-million-dollar-fortune/

[theHandpuppet]

7. How do you blow through 150 million?

Jeezil.

[Iggo]

8. He had to sell his castle to pay his bills.

There's a clue there...lol.

[progressoid]

10. Good God (pardon the phrase)

15 Personal Homes: Cage's property portfolio included an $8 million castle in England that he plunged millions more into remodeling. He never spent a single night in the castle. He also bought a second castle in Bavaria, two multi-million dollar mansions in New Orleans, a $17.5 million palace in Bel Air, a $10 million Malibu beach house, a 24,000 square foot home in Rhode Island, a mansion in Las Vegas and a getaway property on Paradise Island in the Bahamas.
Nick Cage Bel Air Mansion

A Private Island: Apparently having a house on Paradise Island didn't fill Nick's penchant for the Bahamas because in 2006 he spent $7 million on a 40 acre private island 85 miles south of Nassau.

Four Luxury Yachts: Cage at one time owned four luxury yachts including one called Sarita that had 12 master bedrooms that was valued at $20 million.

A Fleet of Exotic Cars: At its peak, Nick Cage's garage contained dozens of high end luxury vehicles including nine Rolls Royces. He owned an extremely rare $500 thousand Lamborghini and a $1 million Ferrari Enzo, one of only 349 produced. Cage also owned 30 motorcycles.

A $30 Million Gulfstream Private Jet

...

[PumpkinAle]

2. I thought Nicholas Cage had gone as low

as he could go and now this

And one thing about those that are raptured, they were very neat and tidy with the clothing left behind.

[Curmudgeoness]

12. Yes, those clothes left so neat and tidy.

I wonder if that means they took the time on the way to the Rapture to fold their clothes, or if God did it for them. And that means that these people who raptured are now nekkid. OMG.

[theHandpuppet]

14. And think of all the goodies they'll "leave behind"

I could use a new car!

[Curmudgeoness]

15. Remember a few years back

when there were people convinced that the Rapture was coming on a certain day, and atheists were getting paid for the promise of taking care of the Rapturees' pets when they disappeared? How disappointing that they are still here. I bet they feel silly.

[Iggo]

4. To be left behind? I was fuckin' born ready! (n/t)

[defacto7]

5. The rapture scam

One of the most twisted biblical concepts for control and consumption of the vulnerable ever devised by humans. Because if it's play on fear and mankind's need for answers to the big nothing after death, it has been a perfect scheme for profiteering media evangelists. All it took was TV, radio and now Internet to reap a great harvest of stupid... stupid with cash.

It's hard to believe that in this age there is still so much gullibility.

I am ready, ready to watch the gullible walk into a nonsensical hell of their own making, but I've been doing that for years.

[kairos12]

18. File this movie under Scamway.

[theHandpuppet]

6. Yes. And I surely wish God would hurry it up.

The rest of us can sleep in. We need the rest for the ensuing celebration.

[progressoid]

9. Cage on an airplane again. It's like ConAir with heathens this time!

[kairos12]

17. More liked Conned Air. What a rube laugh fest.

[Warren Stupidity]

21. His vegas burn rate is enormous, or so I hear.

[AtheistCrusader]

11. Hahaha Nick Cage. YEAH BABY

I can smell this movie from here.

That said, I was rather amused with the books, and plowed through them in no time.

[Auggie]

13. ... zzz ...

[AngryDem001]

16. I have a question.

Why does Yahweh take their physical bodies? What does he need them for? Why not just take the souls and leave the fucking bodies?

[kairos12]

19. Maybe this will get "raptured" straight to late night cable and all

that is left are empty CD cases.

[Warren Stupidity]

20. I desperately want to be left behind.

Please Magic Jeebus, Please take all the good people to heben.

It would be my luck to be misidentified by the same dumb fuck angels sent to slaughter the Egyptian children and forced to spend eternity with Nicholas Cage.

[onager]

22. That might not be so bad...

In his cinematic magnum dopus "Drive Angry," Mr. Cage is serving an eternity in hell. Which doesn't look all that bad. Sort of like Brooklyn with more exterior illumination. Complete with a big bridge back to our world.

As the movie opens, Cage is escaping Hell by driving over that bridge in a cherry 1963 Buick Riviera.

The movie also features, in a leading role, a 1969 Dodge Charger. And lots of mindless gratuitous violence, profanity and sex. Also gratuitous nudity and hooters. I give it 5 stars.

I don't think the average "Left Behind" moviegoer would rate it too highly, though.

The plot is something about Cage rescuing his baby granddaughter from a debbil-worshipping biker gang who want to sacrifice her. I think. I was mostly watching the cars. And the other stuff.