Atheists & Agnostics

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts) Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:32 PM Feb 2015

I'm praying away the snow from my house and its not working!

What am I doing wrong?

15 replies

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I'm praying away the snow from my house and its not working! (Original Post) Warren Stupidity Feb 2015 OP

Nothing. There must be plenty of bvf Feb 2015 #1

God answers all prayers. trotsky Feb 2015 #2

AKA... NeoGreen Feb 2015 #6

You're not praying hard enough. PeaceNikki Feb 2015 #3

You are not using Mr.Bill Feb 2015 #4

You need to have faith kdmorris Feb 2015 #5

I think that all the school kids... NeoGreen Feb 2015 #7

^ We Have A Winner ^ Warren Stupidity Feb 2015 #8

Better sacrifice a goat, just to be sure. AtheistCrusader Feb 2015 #9

You failed to consult me as your spiritual advisor. deucemagnet Feb 2015 #10

Just wait a few weeks... Ron Obvious Feb 2015 #11

You are expecting results too soon. edhopper Feb 2015 #12

Here's a bunch of spells to stop it... onager Feb 2015 #13

you don't have our Godco prayer beads olddots Feb 2015 #14

Oh, ye of little faith. LiberalAndProud Feb 2015 #15

bvf

(6,604 posts)

1. Nothing. There must be plenty of

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:37 PM

Feb 2015

people praying to the contrary. That's the only explanation that makes sense.

trotsky

(49,533 posts)

2. God answers all prayers.

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:44 PM

Feb 2015

It's just that sometimes the answer is "Fuck you!"

NeoGreen

(4,031 posts)

6. AKA...

Reply to trotsky (Reply #2)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:56 PM

Feb 2015

... a "Null response".

I.e. No answer = FU

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)

3. You're not praying hard enough.

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:45 PM

Feb 2015

Mr.Bill

(24,303 posts)

4. You are not using

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:47 PM

Feb 2015

a snow shovel while you are praying. Also god is pretty tired and resting up today. It was a lot of work for him to put together several miracle plays on both sides at the Superbowl.

kdmorris

(5,649 posts)

5. You need to have faith

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 02:55 PM

Feb 2015

I prayed that we wouldn't get snow here today and we didn't!!

MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED!!!

NeoGreen

(4,031 posts)

7. I think that all the school kids...

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:02 PM

Feb 2015

... who prayed FOR snow...nullified your weak prayer.

I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to know, that if god had to weigh the benefits of answering the prayers of future hard-core adherents (hey the proof is in the snow) verses helping you get to work, that the kids will always win.

Snow-days win the day!

Warren Stupidity

(48,181 posts)

8. ^ We Have A Winner ^

Reply to NeoGreen (Reply #7)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:32 PM

Feb 2015

AtheistCrusader

(33,982 posts)

9. Better sacrifice a goat, just to be sure.

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:38 PM

Feb 2015

deucemagnet

(4,549 posts)

10. You failed to consult me as your spiritual advisor.

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:42 PM

Feb 2015

If you financially support my ministry and pray every day, I GUARANTEE that the snow will be gone by Memorial Day.

I accept donations in BitCoins or craft beer.

Ron Obvious

(6,261 posts)

11. Just wait a few weeks...

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:48 PM

Feb 2015

Prayer is guaranteed to get rid of the snow by spring.

edhopper

(33,587 posts)

12. You are expecting results too soon.

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:58 PM

Feb 2015

Keep praying, eventually the snow will stop and go away.
By April at the latest.

onager

(9,356 posts)

13. Here's a bunch of spells to stop it...

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 03:58 PM

Feb 2015

http://www.spellsofmagic.com/coven_spells.html?coven=6&slist=65

Also spells for starting snow storms, rain, etc. etc.

Now don't you dare use this knowledge frivolously. e.g., don't call up any World Leaders and say...

olddots

(10,237 posts)

14. you don't have our Godco prayer beads

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 05:49 PM

Feb 2015

Available in six snappy colors and a three flavors .

Godco a name you have faith in .

LiberalAndProud

(12,799 posts)

15. Oh, ye of little faith.

Reply to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 2, 2015, 07:30 PM

Feb 2015

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